Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ of LOTR.


Hey yo. My name is Bra Briefs and I'm fourteen years old. Let me tell you about something really weird that happened to me the other day.

I had just gotten back from seeing Lord of the Rings with Goten and Trunks. I was lying on the grass under a tree in my backyard, thinking about how hott Legoman was. (Ok. So his name is Legolas, but i'm a little brat so I can call him whatever I want.) The sun was filtering through the leaves and casting shadows across my face, and since Lord of the Rings had been, in my opinion, very long, very boring, and made me want to go to sleep, I started to doze off.

Suddenly, I was awakened by a "twang" sound. My eyes flew open and there, right in front of me, bow still poised from the shot he had just fired, was Mr. Hottie Elf Dude, Legoman.

I jumped to my feet. "Oh my Dende!" I said. "It's you, Mr. Hottie Elf Dude Legoman!" Then noticing the arrow in the tree behind me, I said "Hey. Why are you shooting at me?"

"Fair maiden." said my cutie, putting his bow away. "I'm sorry if I startled you. I did not see you sleeping there."

He was such a gentleman! I was completely swept away. I was just standing there, my face flushed, with little hearts in my eyes. He started looking at me weird.

"Fair maiden, are you all right?" he asked. I nodded. Just then, Trunks came out of the house. Leave it to him to ruin a wonderful moment. He saw the blondie Legoman.

"Who the heck are you?" he asked, rudely. Why did he have to be so mean to my Cutie-Elfy-Guy? Well anyway, my Legoman pulled out an arrow really fast and before Trunks could blink was ready to fire at him.

"Don't shoot him!" I cried. "He's my brother!"

Mr. Hottie put away the arrow. "I'm sorry, fair maiden." he said. "I thought he would try to harm you."

"Why would I want to hurt her?" Trunks demanded. The he repeated "Who the heck are you?"

"I am Legolas. Elf warrior."

"Oh yeah." said Trunks. "That dude from Lord of the Flies."

"Rings." I corrected.

"Whatever. So what are you doing here?"

"I have come " said Mr. Hott Elf Guy Thing. "to court the lovely, blue-haired maiden, Bra Briefs."

Well, needless to say, I fainted. I opened my eyes and Lego-My-Eggo-Man and Trunks were standing over me.

"You ok, Under Wire?" Trunks asked me.

"Yeah." I said weakly, too dazed to retaliate with an equally embarrassing nick-name. Trunks helped me to my feet. Then I asked Legoman "Did you really say what I think you said?"

He nodded. "Do you accept, my fair maiden?" I was about to consent when my cool-guy daddy person came outside.

"What are you kids doing out here?" He asked, then seeing Legoman added "And who's this maricón?"

"Maricón?" repeated Legoman, not knowing what on Earth that meant.

"Daddy's been practicing his Spanish." was all I said. I didn't want to hurt Mr. Hott Guy's feelings by telling him that it meant"faggot".

"This is Legolas." Trunks said. "You know? The elf from Lord of the Rings?"

"Is that that stupid movie you kids wanted me to see with you?" my daddy wanted to know.

"Yeah." I replied. "But you wouldn't go so we went with Goten instead." Then I clamped my hand over my mouth because Daddy wasn't supposed to know that part.

"WHAT?!" My daddy went Super and was about to go after Goten when Trunks stopped him.

"Wait Dad!" Trunks said. He pointed at Blondie Boy Legoman. "This guy wants to date Bra!'' Of course Trunks would sacrifice my little hottie for his best friend, but I guess that's ok, cause Goten is pretty hott, too.

Daddy turned to Legolas. (There. I said it. Happy?) Without a word, he fired a Big Bang and Mr. Cutie was gone. Then I woke up and realized it had been a dream. I got up, pulled the arrow from the tree, and went into the house.