Please be aware that this contains homophobic slurs and mentions of gender dysphoria
His first mistake was looking at them. Isabel draped herself across Eren's back as the two stared at Levi, eyes wide and pleading, lips pushed out in a pout. His second was listening to their begging as they leaned over the counter, voices quavering because dammit, those bastards had done nothing but perfect the art of fake crying. He knew they would do it, he knew they'd be fake, but fuck, seeing it still killed him. Farlan had given up already with a huff and a "If Levi wants to, we can," before he'd grabbed his leather jacket and darted into the living room. Asshole.
"Pleeeease Levi? They're having a sale and I've got coupons!"
"Yeah! And the dresses they had out on display last week were fucking adorable! Don't lie and say you wouldn't want to see Eren in a lacy pink dress!"
He knew the one they were talking about - strapless with ruffles over the chest and lace with flowers on the skirt, short enough that it would come above Eren's knees. He'd seen Eren looking at it a few days before and sighing wistfully as his legs kicked through the air. The blooms around him that had rapidly invaded the flat when Eren had moved in hadn't even grown or shivered, sadness oozing out of him instead of magic. They might have been in the twenty-first century but that didn't mean acceptance was as widespread as many would have liked.
That sadness still lingered in Eren, haunting every smile and residing in his eyes. Turning him lethargic and leaving countless blooms unopened in their apartment. He hadn't even worn the new skirt that his mother had sent him with soft blues that changed into brilliant turquoise at the end with matching stockings - ones he'd been dying to wear barely a week before. To say Eren needed a pick-me-up went without saying. "I hate you both."
They grinned at him, two bright spots in the kitchen. Eren's fingers were twitching, the tiny blooms on his flower crown bursting open to reveal even more coral and white roses. How anyone hadn't noticed those blooming and growing when they were in public, Levi was mystified. Then again, mundanes were fairly idiotic most of the time.
"Is that a yes?"
Levi sighed and palmed his face even as he smiled a little at the two in their flower crowns - pink and white for Eren, blue and white for Isabel - and their matching pastel sweaters and white jeans. Like two peas in a pastel pod with irresistible smiles and crying acts that could make even the most stone-hearted crumble. "Go get your purses."
Their grins burst wide open and for a moment nothing but squeals of "Yes!" filled Levi's ears as they squeezed each other before they darted off to Eren and Levi's room. Farlan poked his head around the wall a moment later, dark blue eyes dancing with amusement. "Couldn't say no to them, huh?"
"At least I tried unlike you, asswipe," Levi grumbled as he flicked Farlan a middle finger and he got a tongue stuck out in his direction before his friend settled against the counter where Eren and Isabel had been moments before.
"I don't blame you. Yeah, shopping sucks ass, but seeing their faces…"
"Can't argue with that."
Seeing Eren find something he liked, whether it was a cute, turquoise skirt and a flowy white tank top or white skinny jeans and a black T-shirt with a pastel skull in the middle, men's section or woman's, was always a treat. The way his face lit up, the nervous excitement as he glanced around; still afraid, always afraid of what people would say, even when Levi stood beside him, glowering at anyone who so much as looked wrong in their direction only to turn and smile when Eren finally held it up to himself or tried it on, caught somewhere between self-conscious and bold. He'd seen Farlan do the same though Isabel had less to worry about, less to fear. Society still sucked ass after all, hated people like them for being different. If only they knew.
Lanky arms wrapped around his waist as a chin settled on his head, a sweet vanilla perfume tickling his nose as soft lips kissed the top of his head. "Hey there, sweetie," Eren cooed as he worked his way down, nibbling on his ear for a moment before pressing a kiss to his neck.
Levi didn't even flinch away anymore, beyond used to the affection Eren showered him with. He took Eren's hand instead, their fingers curling together as Isabel giggled and Farlan smirked at him, even as he got the same treatment from his soul mate. "Ready to go?"
"Of course!"
They took Levi's car - mundanes didn't exactly react well when they Apparated into the washrooms or used the fireplaces, not that there were any of those at the mall. And it was a pain to carry bags on brooms or while Apparating.
Isabel and Eren sat in the backseat, chattering away about the kittens they'd seen at the no-kill shelter they volunteered at in their spare time and about new Quidditch players who would be making their debut when spring rolled around. Levi was almost certain he saw some of the trees bloom as they passed by and that the streetlights glowed a little brighter, byproducts of Eren and Isabel's rampant magic. Finally.
Levi couldn't help but smile a little himself as he pulled into the parking lot, surprisingly full considering the recent snow that lingered on the edges of the street, resilient despite the warmth of spring creeping in. They eased out of the car, Eren and Isabel nearly collapsing as they giggled to themselves even as Levi and Farlan rolled their eyes and gently tugged them along in a flurry of pastels and blacks.
Their little lovers indulged them for a while as they roamed the shelves of Gamestop, muttering about prices and calculating if they'd have time between their finals that were coming up all too soon. Eren draped himself over Levi, murmuring his opinion as Levi picked up games. "That one's got good reviews… And it's two player."
"What's it about?"
"From what I remember, basically just dragons. And magic."
"So basically our lives in a nutshell."
"Ah yes, but with raunchy wenches and elves!"
Eren dissolved into laughter, his entire body shaking as he smothered the sounds in Levi's neck and squeezed Levi's free hand as he set the game back down, smiled, and twisted to kiss Eren's forehead. "C'mon, let's go. This shit is too expensive right now and I'm not feeling any of it."
"Same."
Besides, he'd already ordered two games Eren had pointed out for his birthday. Out of all the things Eren loved, games had to be in the top five, higher if one didn't count family. Right below pastels in fact and they'd been demoted to a solid two on the scale quite some time ago. They left with one - Dragon Age Inquisition tucked away within a small plastic bag Farlan swung as they moved together, threading through the crowds of mundanes that plodded along, unaware and unassuming. Just like always, only this time something felt off. Different.
He couldn't feel Eren's magic thrumming through his skin, barely contained like it usually was. He couldn't see a smile on Eren's face when he glanced over out the corner of his eye; just misery and uncertainty that melted away the second he turned to look at his soul mate. Eren...
Levi and Eren let the other two lead as Eren swung their hands, planted soft kisses on their knuckles, pulled him aside as Isabel and Farlan disappeared into a shop. Those turquoise eyes were glistening as Eren sniffed and leaned down to bury his face in Levi's neck, hands resting comfortably at the base of his spine. "Thank you…"
Eren didn't give him a chance to say anything, to even settle his hands on his hips before he peeled back, grabbed Levi's hand, and tugged him inside, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Levi was reeling. Four years and he still couldn't get used to Eren, the way he would blindside Levi with something before things immediately lurched back into normalcy, so fast he got whiplash; confusing to say the least. At least this time he had an inkling as to why. Still, he didn't say anything. He just watched as Eren and Isabel rifled through the clearance racks, occasionally pulling out a top or a skirt or a dress.
Farlan sidled up next to Levi as they watched, eyes flitting across the store and finding people, glaring hard when their gazes met. "Eren looks happier, doesn't he?"
"Kind of."
He was practically glowing as he held a soft pink sweater with a kitten on the front up to Isabel, who cooed and spun around with a radiant grin of her own before she added it to the ever-growing bundle in her basket. But Eren's was pitifully empty. Every article he held up ended up where it had come from, no matter how much his eyes lit up when he pressed it to his body to gauge the size. And then that light would die and he would wilt before cramming it back on the rack, sometimes swiping at his face before whipping out a sunny smile so quick that it almost felt like he'd dreamed the. It wasn't even the price - when Isabel and Eren moved on to another section he flipped a tag of a creamy skirt with black lace a measly twelve euros.
Levi and Farlan trailed after their soul mates, murmuring under their breath just loud enough to hear each other over the peppy pop music playing over the speakers. "Is he alright? He's been looking pretty down lately, and I don't remember the last time I ever saw him in jeans."
"I don't know." And that was the worst part, not knowing because Eren might have been terrible at hiding most things from Levi and his friends but he was a master when it came to dodging the question or subject.
"Maybe he'll tell you soon."
"Maybe." And maybe he wouldn't and Levi would have to corner him, force him to speak, even if he didn't want to.
Before they went up to the checkout line Levi pressed the creamy skirt and a cotton candy pink-and-blue striped tank top into Eren's basket. Blue eyes flicked up as Eren fidgeted, cheeks flushing. "What're those for?"
"For you of course."
"I don't want them," Eren hissed under his breath as he made to grab them, to shove them back, but Levi caught his hand, threading their fingers together and giving his hand a gentle squeeze.
"Don't lie, idiot. I saw you looking at them." Staring at them like it was something he couldn't have. Or like someone had burned down the animal shelter. Levi glanced down in the basket at the dark-colored fabric inside - a pair of black skinny jeans, a dull navy shirt, an almost identical one but in a deep green. "Eren, what about your pastels?"
Eren's shoulders hitched up in a stiff shrug and he glanced away, over to where Isabel was leaning against the counter blowing bubbles with her gum and chatting with the cashier as she rung up their purchases. "Maybe I wanted something different. Less girly." His eyes were definitely filled with tears but he blinked furiously and glanced up at Levi with a smile that didn't fit, didn't look right. Especially not when the flowers in his crown were losing petals turned yellow and dry, as though they were days, not hours old. "I don't want those."
Levi reached up, fingers tracing Eren's soft cheeks and catching his chin, pulling him down a little closer. Grays and blues met, clashed, waged war as he searched for something, anything. The signs were everywhere - only a hint of eyeliner, his flower and animal piercings switched out for dull gray orbs, not even a speck of lip gloss. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine."
"Then.. let me get these for you, okay? You'd look beautiful in them." Eren flushed, scowled, looked away. But he squeezed Levi's hand and didn't complain when Levi made sure that the skirt and tank top made it into their bag. His hand was cool when they followed Isabel and Farlan through the throng of people to the next shop. He didn't buy anything in there. Didn't even pick anything up.
Isabel and Farlan left before them - their excuse was that they needed to let their dog out but Levi knew they just wanted some cuddle time before Isabel had to go back to school - with countless utterings of "Levi, for the last time I won't scratch your fucking car" that he rolled his eyes to at least three times before tossing Farlan the keys.
Eren nearly went with them but Levi had somehow managed to coax him into staying with promises of sweets and pizza from one of the few halfway decent stands in the food court. They sat by the large windows overlooking the parking lot, Eren's solitary bag with its plastic worn ragged by his plucking leaning against the window, as well as Levi's new belt and a few pairs of earrings.
Levi watched as Eren picked at his slice, occasionally popping a piece he'd cut off into his mouth, none of his usual enthusiasm there. His flower crown was gone, completely decayed and having found a trashcan when they were being taken from store to store by Isabel. And he looked positively miserable. When they left the table, orange and purple light creeping in behind them, Eren hadn't said a word, had barely eaten half of his food.
He still reached out for Levi's hand but it didn't feel the same, hadn't since he'd come back on break. He hasn't changed pronouns since he got back. Sure, sometimes he went a day or two with the same ones but he never looks so miserable and definitely never had used the same ones for a week straight. They walked in silence through streets streaked with twilight and street lights, steadily emptying of people of one kind and repopulating with another as night crept up on them.
Levi wanted to say something, wanted to tug Eren to a halt and hold him there until he worked an answer out of him. But he let it stay silent, too hopeless with words to do much good. They simply weren't there on his tongue, never there when he needed them. Maybe in the morning I'll get him to talk. Make pancakes. Breakfast in bed. Soften him up, then make him talk.
His arm jerked and he snapped out of his thoughts as they stumbled, Eren forward and he backwards. "Eren?" Those beautiful blue-green eyes didn't even turn to him as he stared forward, off into a dark alley. Oh.
The brick walls had been coated with years upon years of paint, graffiti from rebellious teenagers or artists who didn't want to be confined by a canvas. Only their art had been covered up, replaced by tag after tag. Slurs in harsh reds, whites, blues, greens, blacks; all too visible in the lingering remnants of daylight. Eren's hand trembled in his, tightened so hard that he winced.
"Eren," he breathed, tugging hard on his hand and settling a hand on his cheek, gently trying to get him to look away and miserably failing. "Eren, ignore it. It's just a bunch of idiots, you know that. C'mon, let's just-"
Eren ripped himself from Levi's grasp, whipping his wand out with a trail of brilliant red sparks as he stormed over, the contours of his face twisted into raw fury. Shit, shit, shit! Levi threw a glance back. The streets were still clear, still vacant, as was the alley that Eren stomped into. A fucking miracle. He darted over and grabbed Eren's arm, even as a rattle of metal caught his ear. "Eren, cut it out! Or do you want some idiot mundane seeing us?"
"I don't care!" the young wizard snarled back, lips curled and eyes burning as objects hit the cracked and filthy concrete beneath their feet. Paint cans, a little dented and their labels slashed from where they'd probably burst through a shop window. With a twitch of Eren's wand the lids fell off and globs of paint rose, roiling, rippling, furiously bubbling globes of white and pink and blue.
"Eren!"
"Shut up, Levi!"
A normally soft hand shoved him away as a rough sob burst from Eren's chest, nearly masked by the sound of paint splattering against the bricks. Again and again and again paint hit the bricks, destroying the slurs scrawled there. "Fag." "Freak." "Retarded queers." "Spastics." "Morons." "Sinners." All of it disappeared beneath a hail of pink and blue and white and when that was gone, the paint cans smashed into the wall too and Eren sank to his knees, his entire body shaking with rough sobs as sirens whipped past. Levi knelt beside him, hand hovering over his shoulder. "Eren, Eren, sweetheart, it's alright. Just breathe, okay?"
Eren slapped his hand away and jerked back, face twisted as he scrubbed at his cheeks and dragged in ragged breaths. The younger wizard tugged hard on his hair, poison-green sparks oozing from the tip of his wand as he glared at Levi. No stare had ripped the breath out of him quite like Eren's did, a knife to the gut, the hate practically palpable.
And it all made sense. His mouth opened before he really thought it through, flowing out even as it formed. "Eren… did you even want to use male pronouns today? Fuck, or at all in the last week? Did someone say something? You..." He trailed off as Eren stiffened, wand faltering and sparks drying up and shoulders locking as he shrank away for a moment.
Eren's attention whipped over to him, green eyes blazing with too many things to name, to place. Weeds sneaking their way through the cracks in the pavement and filth withered, shuddering and curling in on themselves as the color leached out of them. A gust caught their clothes, sending fabric snapping against skin and air as Eren rose, lips curled back. "Of course!," he spat, vicious and brutal and upset. And scared. "I can decide by myself, asshole! I don't need you to fucking hold my hand or tell me what I am!"
His voice was cracking, crumbling, shoulders shaking even as he raised his wand and disappeared with a massive crack and a sob that hung in the air, long after he'd disappeared from the dark, dank alley that reeked of fresh paint and decay. It took Levi a long time to Apparate himself, half afraid that he'd splinch with his thoughts thrown everywhere, half uncertain on if he should or just walk instead, give Eren time.
Thankfully, it wasn't too late when he reappeared outside their house with a crack, though someone down the street did throw their window open and scream "Dammit, stop fucking Apparating!"
It had almost made him smile until he looked up at their house. The blooms and shoots of green that had been coming in early were dead, all of them. Even the hardy winter plants had shriveled and turned black, harsh testaments that stood out in the light on the front porch. The only light on. Levi tugged on his hair as he hesitated by the gate. I shouldn't have said that… That was so stupid. But he looked so uncomfortable. Like that time he purposefully said he wanted male pronouns, not female. The distasteful looks at his jeans, the distinct lack of a purse that he'd kept unconsciously reaching for. The fear.
Levi chewed the inside of his cheek until it was raw before he slipped through the gate - unlatched and half-open already - and into the house; that was unlocked as well. A good majority of the plants were dead, shriveled and dry and brittle while the few that clung to life had wilted, color leached out of the once-vibrant petals and leaves. The ache that had been growing in his chest since Eren had Apparated grew, pulsing through his being in time with his heart, pushing guilt right along with it. This is my fault. But I had to ask. Seeing him upset… Uncomfortable.
He crept up the steps, everything impossibly heavy, weighed down by dread and guilt. If he doesn't answer I'll sleep on the couch tonight. It still took him a few minutes to finally knock on the closed bedroom door, to wait in the silence, the dark, on Eren. Always on Eren, for Eren. He'd wait a millennia if he had to. He waited two minutes before he knocked again. "Eren… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I was just worried. I'd… I'd like to talk it out, but only if you want to. I'll go downstairs if you don't."
He waited an eternity. Two eternities. And then it came. "Levi…" A whisper in the darkness, a plea to be heard.
He slipped into the room and into bed, pausing only to toe off his shoes and strip down to his boxers, no hesitation holding him back now as he crossed the distance and pulled Eren in until his chin was nestled in hair that smelled like fruit, sweet and familiar. "Yeah?"
Slender shoulders hitched beneath his hands, his entire body rippled with a shudder as soft sniffs filled the silence stretching on and on and on, never-ending. "I… I'm sorry. I didn't… it's just…" Soothing fingers swept down Eren's back, traced along the landscape and contours as Eren pulled back just enough to rub at his face with the heel of his palm, audible sobs shaking them as he choked out words, thick and stumbling. "J-just some kids at school, t-they were talkin' about stuff and I-I thought that maybe you were tired of someone like me who c-c-can't decide. That I s-should just..." Eren shuddered as the tears poured out, cutting swaths down his cheeks all too visible in the soft light of Hanji's little gift "lamp".
Levi tugged him closer, one hand finding the back of Eren's head and pressing it into his neck as he rubbed slow, methodical patterns into his back. And, despite it all, he laughed, soft and short. "Oh God, Eren… We've been together for almost five years and you're still thinking that? Jesus… no. God no. You… you're brilliant but shit, you can be an idiot."
Eren sniffed and pulled back, eyebrows pulled down, eyes still dancing with tears, and lips a million miles away from his beautiful smiles. "If you're trying to make me feel better, you're really failing."
Levi smiled and ducked down to press a chaste kiss to Eren's forehead. "Eren, I don't mind that you're genderfluid, that you like to wear skirts and flower crowns and shit like that. Even if we weren't soul mates, I wouldn't give a shit, because you're beautiful when you're happy, so if you wanna wear a skirt and use male pronouns, that's perfectly fucking fine. If you wanna wear a wifebeater and baggy shorts and use female pronouns, that's perfectly fucking fine. 'Cause…"
And shit, his throat was so dry, his tongue locking up on itself even as he pressed closer, lips ghosting over the tip of Eren's nose. "'Cause I love you. No matter what."
The hands twitching on his chest stilled for a moment before they moved to cradle Levi's cheeks, trembling once more. Eren's breath hitched as soft lips skimmed across his chin. "I love you too."
He walked out the next morning to find all the plants inside the house and out going rampant, thriving and threatening to bloom even though it wasn't even March yet. Levi smiled as he sipped at his coffee until it was all gone before he wandered back in to make breakfast and rouse Eren, to see the beautiful smile that would be on her face.