Disclaimer- I own nothing I wish I did but I just get to play with the characters.
Ducking and Diving
"You brought curry thank you" Sandra sighed happily as she answered her front door shortly after seven that evening.
"I aim to please" Robert Strickland replied as he followed her into the kitchen. He placed the take away and a bottle of wine on the kitchen counter. In addition to the food he dropped a sports bag with a change of clothes on the nearby chair.
The two had been seeing each other for over five months. It had started as evening visits and long conversations then one night she kissed him. Sex had quickly followed and in the morning they both agreed they wanted to explore their feelings and begin a relationship together. Soon they started leaving items at each other's homes and they both knew half the clothes in his bag would not be going home with him.
Sandra had decided that she didn't want to share the news of their relationship with her team right away. She wanted time to see how far the relationship might develop before she risked the ire of her team. Robert was not about to object, he too worried how the men might react to him dating their detective superintendent, the three men could be very over protective of her at times.
"This is the perfect way to relax at the end of a long day." She said letting out a sigh of delight as she opened the bottle of wine.
"Yes it is" he agreed with a smile. "But can we talk about you going diving?" he asked her as he let his smile fade.
"Is that really what you want to spend the night doing?" she countered handing him a glass of wine.
"Yes I do" he told her firmly before taking a drink.
"Fine, get it all out then" she groaned sitting down on the sofa prepared for the impending disagreement. After a moment of hesitation, he joined her.
"I still can't believe you managed to go diving with that club and I had no idea about it till afterwards" he commented unhappily.
"It's nice to know I can still find ways to surprise you" she countered playfully trying to dispel his uneasiness with her flirting.
"That was not a good surprise Sandra" he grumbled refusing to give in to her. "You should have told me, don't you think I deserved to know what you're doing?"
"I will concede that as the man I'm dating I probably should have told you. The problem is you are also my boss and as my boss you would have told me not to do it—just as you did today. And then I would have had to go against your wishes—like I'm doing tomorrow and I really didn't want to have to that do you." She answered him trying to be diplomatic.
"Somewhere in there is a statement that makes sense and when I find it I will respond. But for the moment can I ask what is so wrong with me wanting to you to be safe?" he demanded
"Nothing is wrong with feeling that way but you can't go about trying to stop me from doing dangerous things" she countered.
"Sandra this is very dangerous you could get hurt" he exclaimed. "And its not part of your job, you are not cleared to dive for work." He added trying this argument once more.
"And against the rules" she said for him, she knew he hated when she and her team broke the rules, he had said as much earlier that day.
"It doesn't matter about the rules, I wouldn't want you diving even if you were allowed" he professed unhappily. His desire to protect her was clear but it was not attractive at the moment instead it felt slightly suffocating.
"But you couldn't make a fuss if I was certified" she grumbled.
"Just the idea is enough to give me nightmares, you could get seriously hurt. Even if you are safe with these divers you could still end up with decompression sickness" he argued. He was determined to harp on the potential dangers much to her chagrin.
"I know what I'm doing, it is perfectly safe" she promised him.
"It doesn't feel safe. So you are really going back down there, despite my objection aren't you?" he asked her his unhappiness only growing.
"Yes I need to find out if those packages are still on board." She reminded him firmly, she would not let his over protectiveness stop her from solving this case.
"I knew it, I knew Gerry would give into you. Why do you need to do this?" he demanded.
"You know very well why I am doing this, the underwater search unit is too busy and I need to know about those packages to solve this case." She continued to argue with him, she was not going to give in, she needed to do this, she was going to solve this case.
"But it is too dangerous…I don't know what I would do it something happened to you" he admitted softly.
"That is really sweet but I promise you everything will be fine. They are a reputable dive club this is how they make a living, it would be bad for business if something happened to me." She tried once more to assure him that she would be just fine. She had known from the start that his objections had nothing to do with work and everything to do with his fear for her safety.
"I still don't like it" he sighed reaching over and pulled her into his arms.
"I know but it will be okay. Plus Jack isn't worried and he is not about to let me do something that would harm me now is he?" she asked still hoping to win him over.
"But he isn't in a relationship with you, he may act like your father at times but he is far more willing to let you do things he shouldn't." He pointed out not buying her latest argument.
"I will be fine you don't need to worry" she tried once more.
"I am worried and for what it's worth I don't like it." He said flatly but they both knew he was ready to concede the argument.
"I know you don't and it means a lot that you worry about me but I can do this" she told him resting her head on his shoulder. She was grateful that he cared so much about her but she couldn't let his fears stop her from doing her job.
"I know you can and will, but I had to try" he replied softly.
"I know" she said shifting in his arms so she was able to kiss him. "Why don't we eat?" she suggested.
"Yes lets" he agreed finally giving in now that he had said what was on him mind.
sssSSSsss
"Sandra" a voice called down the hospital hallway.
Sandra looked up when she heard her name, she searched for the source and found Robert charging towards her. His face was the image of pure panic and she felt herself relax immediately knowing he was there for her. She was standing at the nurse's station filling out the last of the paper work that would release her back into the real world. After the tragic events at Whinfield Lake it had taken the paramedics and police less than ten minutes to arrive. To everyone's dismay Martin Viner was declared dead at the scene and the paramedics insisted on taking her to the hospital to get check out. The last few hours had been spent with doctors, having blood drawn and tests run.
The doctors were primarily concerned about decompression sickness, it was possible in her haste to rescue Martin she resurfaced too quickly. They were also concerned that her tank may have been tampered with as well. The nurses had escorted her into the inter-workings within the upper levels of the hospital and performed their test before placing her under observation.
Soon officers from the murder squad arrived to interview her as she lay there on the hospital bed hooked up to several machines. They informed her that Martin's tank was filled with pure oxygen, conclusive proof that the man had been murdered. This only confirmed what she already suspected and it didn't make her feel any better. She still blamed herself for what happened.
The MI team had even insisted they take her wet suit into evidence. Sandra didn't know what they expected to find but she was happy to hand it over, she wouldn't be diving again any time soon. Now hours later she was comfortably clothed in her blue sundress and brown leather jacket, her hair was still pulled back from diving and she didn't even want to know how big of a mess it looked.
Once she had finished with the detectives she immediately called the office and spoke to both Gerry and Jack over the phone. The men were in a state of near panic when Brian returned to the office without her and reported Martin Viner's death. She assured them that her stay at the hospital was nothing more than a precaution and she promised them that she was quite alright. In return the men had informed her that Strickland knew all about the incident and he was insistent on talking to her. She knew he would have plenty to say on the subject and she had half expected him to burst into her hospital room.
The moment she had been give the all clear by the doctor, Sandra had eagerly vacated her room and went directly to the nurse's station to fill out her discharge forms. Part of her hoped that she would make it home before Strickland had the time to come see her. Yet the moment she saw him rushing towards her she realized how much she wanted to see him.
"Sandra are you alright?" he exclaimed as he reached her. She watched his eyes checking her up and down searching for injuries.
"I'm fine" she assured him immediately.
Sandra had barely gotten the words out before he pulled her into his arms and she willingly melted into his embrace. She rested her head against his chest listening to his heart beat for a few moments. He was holding her tightly but she wasn't about to complain. As much as she didn't want to admit it the events at the lake had shaken her. She was now willing to admit Strickland wasn't wrong when he point out that she wasn't qualified to dive in the course of her job, she was trained for serene tourist dives through a coral reef. She wasn't prepared for her dive partner to die on her, the victim of a murderer.
"The doctors checked you out?" he asked finally releasing her enough so he could pull back and look at her once more.
"Yes they ran every test they could, observed me for about three hours, I am good, nothing to worry about" she tried to assure him but her voice fell flat.
"I was so afraid" he whispered before kissing her. At the moment Sandra didn't care who was around to see, she didn't care that technically their relationship was secret and her team didn't even know. At that moment all she cared about was him.
"I'm so glad you're here" she said softly as she leaned on him for support. She suddenly felt exhausted both physically and mentally.
"Are you cleared to leave?" he asked her eagerly.
"Yes just have to finish filling out these forms and I am good to go" she replied reluctantly moving out of his arms and turning back to the desk. She gave the nurse an apologetic look before she quickly signed her name to the remaining paper. She glanced over it quickly before handing all the papers to the woman.
"Everything appears to be in order, remember the doctor has recommended you take it easy for the rest of the day and drink plenty of fluids." The nurse reminder her a moment later as she handed Sandra her discharge papers.
"Thank you I will remember" she promised the woman with a smile. She then happily turned back to Strickland more than ready to leave the hospital. "Ready" she told him as she bent down to pick up her handbag and sports bag from her dive. Robert beat her to the bags and he effortlessly picked them up with one hand while pulling her closed to him with the other. Together they slowly headed for the lift.
"I am taking you straight home, is your car here?" he asked her firmly.
"No it is back at the lake, they made me come here in the ambulance, I'll need to go get it." She informed him not thrilled with the idea of going back there so soon after Martin's death. "I can go back to work you know they did give me the all clear." She argued with him gently, she hadn't been hurt, she hadn't been the one sucking on oxygen at forty five meters below the surface. She felt guilty for resting when a man had died.
"I just heard the nurse tell you to rest and even if she didn't there is no way I would let you go back to the office today. You are going straight home to lay down, don't push me on this Sandra I am your boss remember." He told her his tone was one of warning, he was going to win this argument no matter what she tried.
"Health and safety implications?" she joked slightly.
"Yes my mental health and safety, knowing you are actually safe for the moment. I will go get your car once you are comfortable and resting in bed." He informed her quickly bring order to the disorder she currently felt.
"What about the guys?" she asked him weakly.
"I will inform them that you will not be returning to the office today, I hardly think they are going to object do you?" He asked giving her a knowing look as he hit the call button for the lift.
"No I would expect them to be happy at the news" she grumbled softly. Though in all honesty she didn't feel up to going back to the office at that moment. She didn't want to look at the pictures of the van submerged under water or think about the skeleton sitting at the bottom next to it.
"Are you going to try and fight me on this?" he inquired as they stepped into the lift.
"No, please take me home" she moaned softly as she rested her head on his shoulder.
"Are you sure you are alright?" he asked clearly concerned by how easily she gave in to him.
"Yes physically I am fine just tired, but it will take me a little while to move past the memory of pulling a dying man back to the surface." She admitted her true feelings to him.
"All the more reason you need to rest. You want me to pick you up any food on the way home?" he offered as he pulled her closer to him.
"No I'm not very hungry" she answered him. She suddenly felt extremely exhausted and all she wanted was to curl up with him in bed and sleep for a very long time.
They were both quiet on the car ride to her place. Sandra spent most of the drive staring out the window trying to figure out how the day had ended up in a disaster. She could see Robert look over at her several times during the drive. He was worried about her, she knew that but she had no idea how to assure him that she would be alright. She wasn't the one who died down there at the bottom of that lake. As he pulled the car into her drive she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.
"I got your bags don't worry" he promised her before she could even reach in the back to grab them.
"Thank you" she replied softly.
She truly was thankful that he was there for her and had shown up to take her home. All she wanted to do was collapse on her bed but she needed to shower first. She needed to get the lake water off her hair and body as soon as she possibly could. Once inside she slowly made me way up the stairs to her bedroom, Robert was behind her following at a distance. Her mind was so focused on getting into the shower and out of her clothes she didn't notice him standing in the door way staring at her.
"You are going to lay down correct?" he asked her from his position.
"Yes but not until I get this water out of my hair and off my skin, I think I smell" she growled. She wanted to wash all traces of the lake away, she wished she could wash away her memories as well but she knew that was impossible.
"You understand I need to make sure you are okay and that you are looking after yourself before I can go get your car" he tried to explain.
"I am fine, I don't know how else to make you believe me. I came home didn't I? I am here where you want me to be, where I want to be." She shot back at him getting frustrated and agitated.
"Sandra you could have died today, your diving partner did" he countered.
"You think I don't know that? I am the one who carried his dying body forty five agonizing meters back to the boat. I will never forget he died today." She cried at him, how could he think she could just forget what happened so easily.
"I wasn't wrong it was too dangerous for you to do this." He said pushing further unwilling to let the subject go.
"Yes you were right is that what you want to hear? Clearly I should not be diving at work as I was not prepared for every possible problem." She huffed throwing his earlier words back at him.
"You shouldn't and it is too dangerous. I could have lost you." He countered the hurt evident in his voice.
The problem was he wasn't telling her anything she didn't already know and it wasn't making her feel better. It was making her feel worse and as a result she was becoming defensive. She felt guilty enough without him making it worse.
"Don't you think I know all this? I took liberties I should not have and now a man is dead. You want to just flat out say it's my fault go ahead. I made a mistake, I shouldn't have done it, but I can't take it back now. A man is dead and I can't do anything about it but solve this damn case. What do you want me to say? You were right about everything you said then and everything now. I know how easily it could have been my tank that was tampered with. It could have been me dying on that lake floor. And it was my fault we were down there in the first place. You can't make me feel any worse than I already do but please keep trying." She shouted at him as she threw her jacket angrily towards the closet.
"Sandra I didn't-"
"I really need to shower" she cried cutting him off as she entered the bathroom slamming the door behind her. The moment the door was between them she felt the tear pool in her eyes.
"Sandra" Strickland called to her from the other side of the door. She didn't answer him, she couldn't even if she wanted to as the tears silently slid down her face. "Sandra you know I don't think any of that is true. This is not your fault." He tried again when she didn't reply. "Sandra please talk to me" he begged her.
"I need to shower" she managed to get out. She hoped he couldn't hear the tears in her voice.
"Right" he sighed. "I'll go deal with your car." He added when she didn't say anything more.
"Okay" she gasped and quickly turned on the water to cover the sobs that were threatening to escape her lips.
Sandra stepped into the shower allowing her tears to mix with the flowing hot water. It felt so nice to wash away the remains of the lake from her hair and skin. Yet she couldn't get the events out of her mind. It had taken so long to get Martin back to the surface, forty five meters was very deep and she had been trying to make sure she didn't give either of them the bends. She wasn't even sure that he was breathing when she pulled him off the lake floor and she knew he wasn't breathing when they reached the surface. To her dismay she had had plenty of time during the assent to think about the dying man in her arms and the dead body she left behind.
Sandra was pretty sure that Martin Viner was the intended target of this murder, she had observed him and as with most divers he was very particular when it came to his tanks. There was the chance the murderer had simply wanted to kill one of them and didn't care which one but it was unlikely. She just didn't know why someone would want to kill Martin, it felt more than a coincident that he was killed after they came asking question about his club diving at Whinfield Lake. His death had to have something to do with their investigation.
It seemed very likely that Viner and his club where caught up in this case, the van, and its packages but she didn't know exactly how. Martin and Trisha had been lying to them the whole time and she missed it and then to make matters worse she trusted them to take her diving. She had been foolish and even though Viner had likely done something wrong she still felt responsible for his death. If she had thought about the situation a little more she would have never agreed to the dive. She let her desire to solve the case rise above her common sense. She had been frustrated with the underwater search unit and their inability to help her when she needed them. This had caused her to make a hasty decision when Martin Viner offered her the opportunity to investigate herself and she took it. She should have listened to Gerry and his objections. She had thought him overly concerned at the time but now she wished she had listened harder and not insisted on going down a second time.
It didn't matter that Robert had tried to tell her it wasn't her fault, she still blamed herself. It was her case, she was in charge and she should have known better. She stood in the shower after washing her hair and let the water turn cold as the tears continued to come. All she could think was that this was all her fault, a man was now dead and she could just as easily be dead as well. Getting checked out at the hospital had unnerved her and as she sat there on that bed under observation the gravity of the situation hit her. She could have died just like her diving partner. There was nothing she could do to fix this but solve the case and find out who was behind these murders. Yet it wasn't enough she wanted to do more, she wanted to go back and change the day's events. She couldn't rewrite history and no matter what she did she would always feel a little responsible even when they found the actual murderer.
Sandra wasn't sure she could go scuba diving again, not for a long time at the very least. She didn't know if she would ever get the image of Martin having a seizure on the bottom of that lake out of her mind.
After standing in the cold water for several minutes she finally turned the shower off, shivering she stepped out and grabbed a towel. Even after she wrapped herself up in a big fluffy towel she still felt cold. She didn't bother putting on a track suit or jeans and t-shirt instead she went straight for a warm pair of pajamas. Then she crawled into bed settling down under the covers, curled up with her eyes squeezed shut against the tears as she willed herself to fall asleep.
sssSSSsss
"Sandra" a voice whispered softly. It took her a few moments to realize she had been asleep and opened her eyes only just enough to see. Kneeling down next to the bed she saw Robert, she was confused for a moment until the day's events came rushing back to her and she shut her eyes once more.
"What?" she mumbled. All she wanted to do was go back to sleep and not wake up until she forgot everything that had recently happened.
"You need to eat something" he told her apologetically.
"Not hungry" she shot back.
"You haven't had anything since breakfast and it is 7:30 I need you to eat please." He begged her and for a moment she contemplated ignoring him and going back to sleep.
"Fine" she growled reluctantly opening her eyes once more.
"Thank you" he replied letting out a sigh of relief as he got to his feet. "How do you feel?" his voice was thick with concern and she felt another wave of guilt.
"Okay, my head hurts a little" she admitted. After a moment she slid over in the bed so he could sit on the side, which he quickly did. He reached out and took her hand before he began speaking again.
"I am sorry, I didn't mean to upset you and start a fight. I was just worried about you but I need you to know you are not responsible for what happened."
"Yes I am this is all my fault" she moaned as she tried to sit up.
"How is this your fault, someone murdered that man?" Strickland told her firmly.
"I agreed to go diving with him the first time and I am the one who requested this second dive because I couldn't wait for the underwater search unit." She argued with him, determined to blame herself.
"That still doesn't make it your fault."
"You and Gerry both tried to warn me about how dangerous this was and I ignored both of you" she reminded him.
"We were afraid for your safety not for Martin Viner's" he countered.
"As you pointed out I could have died as well or instead of him. It was dangerous to trust Martin and his club, we suspected he knew more about the van. Hell half the reason I agreed was because I was hoping to suss out what he was keeping from me. Those are terrible reasons and terrible conditions to go diving under, especially to the depth of forty five meters. It was dangerous and I should have recognized that." She continued to fight him determined to convince him she shared some blame in his death.
"That still does not make you responsible for what happened. Someone wanted to kill this man and they would have found a way even if you hadn't gone diving with him. You are going to find out what is going on and you are going to solve this case and you will likely find his murderer even though that isn't your case." He argued equally determined to prove her wrong.
"Won't make me feel better" she grumbled.
"It will help a little" he assured her. "I should have ordered you not to go down there, I was worried about you and I should have listened to my gut." He added with a sigh angry at himself.
"You were not about to stop me" she countered.
"I could have ordered you not to do this" he reminded her.
"You wouldn't have done that, you wanted to find out the truth just as much as we did." She pointed out with a knowing looking and they both knew she was right.
"I should have only been concerned about you."
"That is not how the job works."
"Yes it is actually and even if it wasn't I wouldn't care. You could have died and I did very little to protect you from yourself." He told her shaking his head clearly upset with himself.
"I know I could be dead or stuck in the hospital with the bends but I'm not you don't need to worry about me now." She moaned rubbing her head as it began to hurt even more.
"I do worry because you are blaming yourself for this murder and it is not your fault." He insisted giving her hand a squeeze.
"You can't deny that I share some on the responsibility for his death" she replied softly.
"You are partly responsible for going out to the lake to dive. Martin agreed to take you and then someone murdered him, you hold no fault when it comes to his death." He argued once more making it clear he would not stop till she believed him.
"It has to do with this case, it is not a coincidence that he got killed when we start asking questions about the van and the lake." She informed him unable to stop the detective part of her brain from analyzing the situation.
"I agree, but promise me you will be careful, do not give this murderer another opportunity to kill you." He begged her pulling her in to his arms.
"I promise" she whispered.
"I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you" he told her. He took her hand once more, turned it over and kissed the palm of her hand trying to show her the depth of his feeling for her.
"I feel the same way about you" she assured him with a smile.
"Yes but I spend all day in an office, I hardly think my stapler is going to attack me" he joked.
"That's not true, you go to meetings and drinks with all kinds of people you could trip and fall or choke on a drink." She replied playfully beginning to feel a little better.
"I will watch out I promise" he assured her and even though the topic was a joke he meant it seriously.
"And I will be careful I promise no more diving" she promised him.
"In the course of your work absolutely not, and I mean that as your boss, you are not allowed to dive in the course of an investigation."
"I mean ever actually" she informed him.
"What about holidays?" he asked confused.
"I don't know if I can go diving without thinking about what happened today. What if some tourist has a heart attack while diving on holiday? I don't think I could deal with that." She explained to him how she truly felt about the idea of diving again after Viner's death.
"Why don't you just give it time, you don't have a diving holiday planned do you?" he asked.
"No I have no holiday planned right now" she answered him honestly.
"Maybe we should go away together some time" he suggested.
"I would like that" she agreed giving him a full smile this time.
"Good, now dinner you have to eat" he told her firmly.
"I think I might be able to keep something down now."
"Glad to hear and if you tell me what you want I will serve you dinner in bed" he offered with a smile.
"How sweet... I am thinking soup might be the safe bet" she suggested unsure if she could manage to eat anything more substantial.
"Perfect and a very large glass of water you haven't had anything to drink since you got home and the doctor told you to drink plenty of fluids."
"So no wine then?" she asked pouting a little.
"Nope just water" he confirmed ignoring her look.
"Okay fine…will you stay up here with me while I eat?" she asked slightly embarrassed. She was not usually a person who asked for help very often.
"Just try and stop me" he agreed with a grin.
"Thank you for everything" she said softly.
"Don't scare me like that ever again please" he begged her.
"I promise I plan to live a lot longer."
"Good I will go get that soup, you just relax." He told her standing up and leaving the room.
Sandra still felt guilty over Martin Viner's death but she was now determined to finish the case and find out who killed him. She also had come to the conclusion she was falling in love with Robert Strickland. When she thought about how she could have died he was the only person she could think about. She didn't know where their relationship was going but she wanted to find out.
the end
A/N Ducking and Diving is one of my favorite episodes and I have been playing around with this story for a while and I figured it was time to just post it. Thanks for reading and I hope it was enjoyable.