Well, my Lovelies, here's what you've all been waiting for, the first official peice of BTTNM:XO. I really hope that you guys enjoy this.
As this is my favorite pairing and I'm supremely excited for this, I've decided to kick things off with my favorite kind of story. Yep, you guessed it, this will be and IPod Shuffle. Of course, it's an IPod Shuffle that I cheat on because I don't even keep track of how many times the song plays before I finish writing that part, but hey, these would be a lot shorter if I only played the song once, or even twice, like I originally only did, and it's not like I'm entering this in a contest, so it really doesn't have to follow the rules anyway. Get over it.
So, yeah, IPod Shuffle, let's do this!
Bethesda, y u make Astrid married already? T.T
Pairing: Obviously Astrid/Dragon (OFC) as for any other pairings... meh, IDK, nothing else so far
Universe: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. Also, BTTNM. Just saying.
Rating: I think T is probably safe for now. It may change later, for the record. We'll see.
Warning: Yuri, Femslash, whatever else you want to call it. They're lesbians, got it? If you don't like that, tell the guy holding the gun to your head and forcing you to read it that I said that you can go. If this man does not presently exist and femslash isn't your cup of tea, please, feel free to hit the back button, it will not bother me one bit. And for any homophobes- Go ahead, I dare you, give me my first flame. It just means that my stories are getting popular enough that my readers come in more varieties :)
Other: I'm just gonna go ahead and say this right now- Some parts of this will be a lot different from BTTNM, so don't come into this with expectations. Just saying.
Bethesda, y u have to kill off Astrid at the end? T.T
1. Song: What Have You Done by Within Temptation Ft. Keith Caputo
It would never work out. There would never be any of that happily-married, grow old together crap that so many other couples enjoyed, had enjoyed or would enjoy some day. There was far to much passion and lust, she was far to possessive and far to dominant, and I appreciated being on the other end of that far to much. There was too much fire and even though I love her, and I know that she, in her own... unique way, loved me back, there's no way that is would last forever. We're absolutely perfect for eachother in nearly every way, yet as it happens, there is such a thing as too perfect.
So, no matter what we say or do, somehow, someday something will come along and disrupt this permanently. Perhaps she'll get bored of me, perhaps I'll find decide that the whole situation is too much for me, anything could happen. We're assassins for Talos' sake, one of us could be killed tomorrow. Something would come along and shatter the quaint happiness I had found, as had always happened before, and there's absolutely nothing so far to suggest that it won't happen again. It was only a matter of when and what it would be.
Still, even so, even with the knowledge that it was somehow temporary, even with the ever present doubts that I was sure I would have for as long as it lasted... She was still the best thing that had ever happened to me. She was worth more than the world to me.
2. Song: With Arms Wide Open by Creed
"Babette, I swear to every god that exists, you had better be kidding." I replied, glaring at the vampiric child, knowing how much it entertained her to stir up drama in the brotherhood when there wasn't enough to fit her taste. Of course, she had been gone for the past several weeks, having had a contract all the way down in Valenwood, so she really wouldn't have known that things had been pretty quiet (at least, as quiet as the brotherhood could get) as of late, the only thing disturbing it was my now-daily morning sickness. But, no, there's simply no way. It just couldn't happen. Surely she had met up with one of the others on her way back or something and she had heard from them, or something, because this couldn't be happening.
"For once, I can honestly say that I'm being completely serious. You're pregnant." She replied bluntly, seeming both entertained by and bored with the conversation simultaneously.
"Babette, the only person I've been with since I joined the brotherhood is Astrid, and since it is obviously not possible for one woman to make another pregnant, you're prank will not work on me this time." I glared at the little leech, who raised an eyebrow before giving me a bright grin.
"Normally, yes. But there are a few ways. Tell me, sister dear, have to been experimenting with red nirnroot any?" My eyes widened in shock at that. I had, actually, quiet a bit. I had found quite a bit of it, and, as I had found out in my experiments, it had basically the same effect as nirnroot, which I primarily used for invisibility potions, but it lasted nearly twice as long. So, yes, I had been experimenting with red nirnroot, and after testing it on some unsuspecting skeevers and finding that it seemed to add no negative effect, I had added several vials of it to my normal stock. I had used about four of them in all since then. I really don't like where this is going.
"Yes..."
"And, after testing it, I assume you used some of it?" She kept pushing. "How much?"
"A-about four vials." I stuttered as I suddenly realised that someone else had entered the room silently. I could almost guarantee that it was Astrid. This was not a conversation I wanted to have at all, but much less when she was in the vicinity.
"Oh yes, that's more than enough." I could actually hear the transition from mischevious little vamp girl to the surprisingly knowledgeable alchemy teacher that I had found her to secretly be since I joined. "You see, what almost no alchemist today knows is that red nirnroot is not just a more potent version of nirnroot. Yes, it has many of the same qualities, and the effects last much longer, but almost no one realises, without experiencing it first hand, of course, is that it's also a very potent fertility. Instead of, well, the normal means of impregnation, it draws from magical energy instead." She grinned and suddenly the mischevious little girl was back, "As much as the two of you go at it, it's no surprise that you got knocked up. Actually, I'm pretty sure that you could impregnate yourself if you tried hard enough, with as much as you've had." She winked, before standing up suddenly.
"Now, Astrid's giving me her, "Get the hell out or I'll murder you" face, so I'm just gonna go. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." She winked as she walked out the door, leaving my mistress and I alone to figure out what the hell was going on.
3. Song: Forgiven by Within Temptation
It's been years. Since her death, that is. She's been dead three years to this very day. My daughter, our daughter, our miraculous, alchemical, wonderful accident, was born four years and two and a half months ago. Suffice to say, Alanya barely remembers anything about her other mother, though she is curious.
Said little girl was pressed firmly against my side as my hands glided gently over the keys of the piano in our small home. This was the very same piano that Astrid had pulled so many strings and bribed so many people and still ended up paying a very fair amount for. Piano's weren't exactly common in Skyrim. In fact, very few people here even knew what they were, but they were much more common in Valenwood, my homeland. It was one of the few things that I wanted to take with me when I started traveling, but obviously, that wasn't a possibility. When I had been pregnant with Alanya, instead of craving odd foods like most pregnant women, I craved music. Actually, that's a lie, I craved playing music myself. When I was pregnant, I learned how to play the flute, and I also took up the lute again, something that I hadn't bothered with since I was maybe twelve. But more than anything, I had wanted to play a piano, but I really never thought that that would happen in Skyrim. Imagine my surprise when I walked into what was, at the time, the bedroom that we both shared in the Falkreath Sanctuary, and there it was, perfectly tuned and ready to play in every single way.
"Mommy, is this song for Momma?" The four year old broke me out of my thoughts with her quiet, shy voice. I smiled, remembering the first time she had said "Mama" and Astrid and I couldn't figure out which one she was talking to, until we finally just figured that we were both "Mama" to her. As she got a little bit older, she finally began to differentiate between the to of us, I became "Mommy" and Astrid became "Momma".
"Yes, little heart, it is. I play only for the two of you, you know." She smiled at me at that, but faltered when my smile was only half hearted. "Mommy, why are you sad? Do you not like playing for us?"
"No, love, that's not it at all. I just miss your momma, I loved her very much. And she and I both love you more than anything in the world, always remember that." She smiled again, and I smiled back at her. She hugged me suddenly, her head bumping my arm slightly as she did so, making me miss a single key, but that was alright. These were my favorite moments in the world.
" Did I ever tell you that your Momma got me this piano...?"
4. Song: Inside Your Heaven by Carrie Underwood
"You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, you know that." I told her as I hugged her sideways to keep my enlarged belly out of the way. I was beginning to tear up even no matter how hard I tried to stop it. Stupid pregnancy hormones, making me unnecessarily hormonal.
"And you're the best thing that has ever happened to me, love, now don't cry." She hushed, far more gently than she normally would. She had most definitely learned her lesson from the last three times I started to cry over something stupid that I would normally brush off.
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to." I apologize as I burried my face in her shoulder despite the fact that she still had her armor on and it wasn't totally comfortable. "But it is true, you know. You mean everything to me." Honestly, I loved how things were right now. Sure, I missed the hot, passionate, mindblowing sex- It surprised me to find out how paranoid she was about hurting the baby and how careful she wanted to be with me and our "magic-child", as we sometimes called it (we had also called it weed-child for a little while, but recently hearing that nickname just set me off crying, so that was no longer mentioned). After we found out and accepted it, which actually didn't take as long as I thought it would, she refused to touch me. It took me dragging her to a healer in Falkreath to get him to explain that it would okay and also the numerous times where I broke down crying because "she wouldn't touch me because I was getting fat" to get her to give up on her little no-sex plan. Turns out when I'm pregnant, I'm both very emotional (read: whiny, clingy, prone to crying) and very manipulative.
So, yeah, the sex isn't what it used to be, but it's not a bad changed, it's just different. Actually, that's pretty much how everything is. Astrid, as it happens, can mother hen like no freaking other when she wants to, and she has wanted to ever since we found out. I've been having a great deal of trouble convincing her that pregnant does not equate to absolutely helpless. Not what I expected at all.
"Now come on, I worked very hard to get you that, the very least you could do is play something for me." She teased, leading me over to her gift.
5. Song: Lips Of An Angel by Hinder
"You can't honestly tell me that you're completely content with this... cozy, domestic, boring little life that you've created for yourself. She laughed incredulously, cruelly at the idea.
"Well I am, Astrid," I ground out her name, actually feeling the wounds in my heart tearing open again in spite of the bandages that the past six years and my current, happy, normal family had applied to them. "And I think that it's time that you leave, before my wife or my daughter wake up." I glared at her with all of the hatred that, as much as I tried, I still couldn't harbor towards her. I could never hate her, as much as the logical part of me knew that I very well had every right to. After all, she had left me alone with our daughter to believe that she was dead for the past five fucking years, and, of course, she only decided to resurface after I had finally moved on and found another woman that I could love half as much as I had loved her.
"Our daughter, you mean." She hissed, eyes narrowing to glare back at me as she took a menacing step forward, causing my reflexively attempt to take a step backwards, despite the fact that I had been leaning on the wall for support already. I cursed my stupid reflexes as I saw her smirk, obviously taking that as a sign of fear or submission or whatever the hell she thought it was, as she continued to approach in a manner very reminiscent of a panther stalking it's prey.
"No," I paused for a moment to swallow the lump in my throat, "I mean my daughter. You've been gone for the past five years, so she's obviously not very highly ranked on your priority list. My wife has been more of a mother to her than you have been." At that, she snarled and raised her hand. For a moment, I was sure that she was about to strike me, but only grasped my chin so tightly that it almost hurt, forcing me to remain looking directly at her. Not that I would have glanced away for a moment...
"You forget yourself pet," She growled at me, "Surely you remember that you belong to me and only me. This distraction that you have taken on in my place can be easily discarded one way or another." The obvious threat in her words caused me to tense even more. True, I would belong to another in the same way that I belonged... had belonged, I mean, to Astrid, I would never love another as much as her, but I did care for the woman that I had married... "So you had best watch your words love." Before I could even process her advice, she lunged forward and kisses me harshly, bruising my lips for sure as she did so.
I didn't push her away immediately. I should have, but... I couldn't. The feelings that she ignited in me were ones that I either been experienced mildy or not at all since her... death? For the first several seconds, I could do nothing other than stand there, trying to process all that had happened.
Finally, I came to my senses and pushed her off of me with every once of strength that I could muster. "How dare you kiss me?!" I wanted to scream it at her, to let her know in that way how much I didn't want her here now, but I heeded the small voice in the back of my head that reminded me of the other two sleeping occupants of the small house, so I just whispered it, knowing that if I tried to speak any louder, I wouldn't be able to control the volume.
"How dare you just walk away from us for six years and then come back here, when I've finally stopped thinking about you every hour of every day, when I've finally found out that I can be happy again. How can you just waltz right back into our lifes like you never left and expect- and expect us to-" I stopped, realising that I was crying now and my voice, even as a whisper, was cracking at nearly every word. I looked away from her as she let my face go and took a step back. I could feel her stare on me as I fixed my gaze on the wall, willing the tears to stop falling. She didn't say anything, didn't try to touch me again, she did nothing for several moments. It was actually several moments later that I finally got myself under control and looked away from the wall, to see only an empty room with the front door left wide open.
: My Immortal (Band Version) by Evanescence
Alanya didn't even stir as I sat down onto her bed. She never did, despite the fact that I did this almost every single night. The moonlight streaming in from her windows fell on her face, and, as much as I loved her, I was glad that she was asleep right now, glad that I couldn't see her eyes. It was some time around four in the morning, and everything was completely still. I had dreamt about Astrid- as I had every single night that I didn't force the dreams to stay dormant with a potion since her death last year.
Alanya had gotten her mother's eyes. Most of her features came from me, but she still resembled Astrid in several of her features, her eyes being the most prominant of them all. I loved her eyes, I always had, and I was glad that our little one had gotten them, especially after her death... But it would have been hard to look at them right now. I didn't want to have to explin to my sweet, curious three year old why I was cryng.
Slowly, I moved my hand to rest on her head, stroking the soft black hair that had obviously come from me. To me, she's absolutely perfect, but still... I kind of wish that the nirnroot had taken less from me and more from Astrid. My little girl was all I had left of her, now.
Alanya slowly began to stir under my hands, and I immediately stilled, humming a soft tune to put her back into a deep sleep. When I felt that she wouldn't wake at my movements, I slowly got up from her bed, leaving her room and shutting the door quietly behind me, the hollow place in my chest every bit as present as it had been when it first appeared.
7. Song:Addicted by Kelly Clarkson
She was my lover, yes, but she was also much more than that to me. She was my mistress, her word was law to me in every way, she was barely a half step below a Goddess to me, and she was the most addictive drug in the world. I was completely addicted to her. It didn't just hurt to be away from her for too long, it literally felt like I was dying from it. At this point, she was worth more to me than literally anything else- food, water, sleep, shelter, sunshine, anything else. If I were to leave her presence for tool long, I was certain that I would go into some sort of horrible withdrawl.
My thoughts always seemed to be clouded recently. Whenever she was there, I couldn't seem to focus on anything but her. When she wasn't all I could think about was where was she, when would I see her next, could I go to her now, the list went on and on. I couldn't get her out of my head.
This wasn't right. Relationships weren't supposed to be like this. I wasn't supposed to be completely dependent on her. I should be able to spend more than an hour away from her and be absolutey fine, but I'm not. I especially shouldn't be the only one like this, and I was pretty sure she wasn't experiencing what I was.
At least I was pretty sure that she wasn't. The only indication that I could find that she needed me half as much as I needed her was I had only had two contracts in the past two months, one was just in Falkreath, the other was to Solitude, but it had actually been her contract and she had taken me along on it. I knew that we weren't having any shortage of contracts, the others were going out for them just as regularly, I seemed to be the only one who kept getting the "no spare conrtacts" line from both Nazir and Astrid herself. I may have been going insane, to some degree, but I wasn't stupid.
"Brooding again, are you pet." A familiar, sultry voice whispered in my ear, startling me as the owner of the voice wove their arms possessively around my waist. I gasped quietly, but felt the tension in my muscles release instantly. I was finally getting my fix.
8. Song: Listen To The Rain by Evanescence
None of my dark siblings understand my obsession with the rain, not even Astrid. That's probably because not even I understand what my obsession is. For as long as I can remember, I have been enchanted by the rain in a way that I can't describe. It was one of the things that I have missed in Skyrim- snow doesn't hold the same meaning to me, and Falkreath is the only placein Skyrim where it is regularly to warm for the water to freeze.
I really can't explain what is so special about rain. At least, I can't explain it without feeling at least slightly insane. To me, rain is comforting in a way that nothing else is. As crazy as it sounds, I could swear that, when there is no other sounds and I'm outside, just listening, the rain is talking, whispering to me. The water, warm or freezing, is matters not, running down my skin, pure water from the sky, is a comfort. When I'm out alone in a storm, I feel loved, in a strange way. The water is like an embrace and a carress, and the whispers are comforting, consoling, soothing.
I know, that sounds childish or delusional or whatever you want to call. I don't really get it either. And as I said, neither does my lover.
Yet, despite the fact that she doesn't understand my infatuation with it, despite the fact the she in no way shares the need to be outside whenever it rains, she still sits out there with me. She still goes outside and gets herself soaked, which she will complain about afterwards, as I indulge myself in my need to be one with rain, and she doesn't bother me when we're out there. She keeps several feet between us and just watches, never interupting or trying to speak to me, as I stand outside letting the rain fall on me. And that, the simple fact that she's out there with me, makes it perfect.
9. Song: The Hand of Sorrow by Within Temptation
I was both feared, revered and hated by people spread across Skyrim and beyond. Revered by all the people who knew me as the Dragonborn who had saved them from the Dragon Apocalypse and by the Stormcloaks who knew me as "the one good elf" who had won the civil war for them. Hated by the remaining Imperials whom I had helped defeat and the many dragons whose kin I had slain. Feared by anyone who knew anything of the Dark Brotherhood. Of course, it was often the same people who practically worshipped me in the streets during the day who cowered from me in their homes at night (well, not me specifically, but my family in general).
That was one of the hard parts of being an assassin, having to ignore a man who was begging you to spare his life when not a week ago, he had given you a hefty discount on his wares simply out of gratitude for saving his life (directly or not). It was hard to murder a woman whom you knew to be the mother of several children who were already barely scraping by as it was. It was hard, but I had to do it. Why, you ask? Because Astrid was to one who asked me to do it, and the thought of disappointing her... was much, much harder to handle. I simply couldn't do it.
And she was more than aware of how hard it was for me to do these things. Her awareness didn't lead her being careful not to send me after people I knew, of course, she did a very good job at being an unbiased leader, but I will not lie about the fact that the marginally more affectionate treatment that I recieved after completing a job like that... kind of made the cold-hearted killings worth it to me... I'm a terrible person, and I know it...
10. Song: The Night Before (Life Goes On) by Carrie Underwood
"And you're sure that this will work?" I asked for what, to her, must have seemed like the hundredth time. Her annoyance didn't show when she answered, surprisingly.
"Yes, love, I'm absolutely positive. I have complete faith in your abilities, so stop doubting yourself. You're only assassinating the emporer, after all." She teased, but her arms tightened around me when I tensed as she said emporer. "I gave you this task only because I have complete faith in you to accomplish this and get out without being caught or killed. If I doubted for even a second that you could do it, I wouldn't consider sending you into this danger alone for even a moment. You can do it." It was literally probably the sweetest thing that she had ever said to me, and it was also well timed, since I was sure that I would be playing it over and over again in my head the whole trip to and during the actuall mission that I would be leaving for tomorrow.
Only assassinating the Emporer of Tamriel, no big deal, right? Yeah, okay, whatever.
"I can hear you thinking, dear. You just need to relax. This shouldn't be that much more difficult than when you killed Vittoria Vici. As I said, you can do this. But I suppose a distraction will help you relax, won't it." I may have been facing away from her, but I could actually hear the smirk slide onto face as she spoke, seconds before I found myself being roughly flipped onto my back.
Bethesda, y u make the end of the DB storyline suck? T.T
I told you it would be a lot different than BTTNM. But hey, if I want to write a legitimate sequel, I've got a plot for it now. I think that might be a good thing, maybe? What did you guys think? Feel free to tell me which ones you liked and which ones you didn't, I like feedback and it'll help me plot other snippets of these two in the future.
Oh, and I'm sure any regular readers that I have noticed that my writing got a lot better grammar and mistake wise for a few updates of some stories, and now it's back to what it was? Yeah, I got a new computer, and my the Microsoft Word Starter that came on it no longer works, maybe it's set to only work for a few months? I don't know, so I'm back to wordpad, which, as some of you may know, has absolutely no spell check whatsoever -_- I'm honestly trying to get better about checking over before I post, but... Well, you can only read something you wrote for so long before you find yourself just vaguely skimming. I need a beta, I know, I'm just not looking forward to going out and looking for one, so I'll probably keep putting it off for a long time. I'm lazy like that.
Anyway, see you next time, my Lovelies!
