Rei.
- 1 -
A hand reached out to me.
"Makube Kage. I will be joining the NERV technical team."
The hand was gloved. A thin, black glove, incapable of giving the wearer any warmth, a mask of a glove. The commander wears such gloves.
I looked up at the owner of the hand, wearer of the glove. A tall, young man dressed in a beige suit. His messy brown hair extended outwards in all directions. A silver earring hung loosely on his left ear.
"What's your name?" he asked, his hand still extended.
"Ayanami Rei," I answered.
His brown eyes were smiling. "Ayanami. Beautiful name... suits you perfectly."
I did not know what to do. Are these words of compliment? Or are they said because something needed to be said? Am I expected to reply with gratitude?
His eyes never left me.
"Alright, alright, enough with the introductions," Major Katsuragi said impatiently. She seemed uncomfortable. Something sailed across the air to the man. He caught it effortlessly.
"Here's your key. Your apartment is next to Rei's," Major Katsuragi told the man, "The backup key is in the apartment." She pointed to the empty apartment next to mine.
"Thank you," The man's replied with a grin.
The Major became more uncomfortable, "You better treat Rei appropriately. Don't get any funny ideas, otherwise I won't forgive you."
The smile never seemed to leave the man's face. "Don't worry yourself. I'm sure we'll get along."
The Major muttered something to herself and left.
The man breathed a sigh of relief, then grinned, "Intimidating woman. But roses don't grow thorns without a reason," he turned to me, "I suppose we'll be neighbors from now on."
I locked my apartment door and walked on without replying.
The man followed my steps. "You must be on your way to school. Sorry for delaying you," he said, "Need a ride?"
I was not concerned about being late. "I will be fine."
The man put his hands into his pockets, "Okay. I'll be seeing you later then." He unlocked his apartment door and entered. The door shut behind him.
And I walked on.
* * *
The morning bell rang seconds after I entered the classroom. The room was filled with noise. The Second Child was the loudest, giggling alongside other classmates. The Third Child was not there. I sat down in my seat.
The teacher entered, and the class representative gestured everyone to be silent. The teacher asked us to turn on our terminals, so I did. Information and pictures about the Second Impact appeared, and meaningless images and facts flashed across the screen. The flickering of the pictures made me feel uncomfortable, so I closed my eyes and turned to the window.
A draft of warm, soft wind entered through the window. It brushed past my face and toyed with my hair, then continued its trip around the classroom, unbothered. The wind felt more real than anything else in the room. I could touch the wind, I could feel it. But I could not feel the Second Child, or Suzuhara, or Hikari. Are they real, or are they merely images on a screen?
The lecture was interrupted by the Third Child, gasping to catch his breath as he entered the classroom.
"I... I'm sorry for being late, sensei... I... I was..." he was very uneasy. His damp hair suggested that he might have just gotten out of the shower. The teacher said nothing, and continued on with his reading. Ikari looked around the classroom nervously, and sat down.
I returned my attention to the scenery outside of the window. The noise and chattering in the surroundings gradually faded away. Time, as meaningless as it had always been, meant even less to me now. I watched wordlessly as the clouds swept faster and faster across the skies, and as the falling leaves accelerated to the speed of bullets. The sun, followed by a trail of blazing flames, catapulted into the center of the skies.
I felt a small, familiar sensation on my cheek. I blinked in surprise, and time returned to normal. It must be the wind, but it felt like...? Bits and pieces of vague memories began to emerge from my mind. Him. His smiling, caring face. But I remembered him much younger, much younger than now. I caressed the spot with my fingers.
The bell rang. The students all rushed to the door, and the teacher quietly packed up his books. Ikari was talking to the class representative. She was smiling at him.
I picked up my pack and left.
* * *
I met the smiling man again. He was smoking in the apartment hallway.
He raised his arm and greeted, "Yo."
I nodded as a reply. I disliked the scent of cigarettes.
"Beautiful day, no?" He said while looking deeply into the orange sky with a grin, "Funny how the sky looks the same, no matter where you are."
I was not opinionated. I inserted my key, and my apartment door unlocked with a click.
"Good night," I said as I closed the door behind me. He raised his arm and signaled goodbye, without looking back.
* * *
I dropped my pack near the front door and slumped onto my bed. I found it fatiguing to be around people. Many meaningless things were expected of me. Hello. Good morning. Good night. Good bye.
Hollow words. So I do not speak.
The uneasy feeling in my stomach told me that I was hungry. I opened the refrigerator, and there was only a small can of tomato juice. I opened it and drank it, then tossed the empty can into a cardboard box full of trash. I collapsed face down onto the bed once again, and quietly examined the texture of my sheets. I simply laid there, unaware of time, wandering aimlessly within the valleys of my own mind.
Then someone knocked on the door.
I sighed. I got off my bed and answered it.
It was the smiling man. His hair was damp, and a white towel was hanging from his shoulders. "Yo," he greeted. I did not greet back.
"What is it?" I asked, slightly annoyed. I was tired and in no mood to socialize.
"Well, the shower at my place was mighty cold," he grinned as he pushed back his wet hair, "Can I borrow yours?"
I did not enjoy the idea of having a stranger use my shower. But I saw no reasons to refuse. "Do as you please." I wanted to be left alone at this time, so I picked up my pack and walked out of my apartment.
The smiling man was left alone in the hallway, puzzled and confused.
* * *
I found myself wandering back to the school. I had nowhere else to go.
The school was empty, and it was difficult to imagine that a few hours ago it was full of young, energetic students. The red-orange color of the sky added a tint of loneliness to the building. I did not want to go in there.
My eyes paused on an large tree rooted near the front gate. Beneath it was a well-shaded area, shielded away from the sky. I sat down underneath the tree. Red was not my favorite color.
I sat there, embedded into the silence of nature. The breeze visited me once again, but this time I shivered. It was getting cold. I watched as a leaf danced on the ground, playfully twirled around by the forces of the wind. It kept going round and round in circles, until it struck someone's foot.
A figure was standing there. I could not see who it was because of the sunlight in the background, but soon I recognized by the familiarity. The Third Child.
"Good... good afternoon," He greeted with a wavering voice. The last thing I wanted to do was to reciprocate with the same, empty words. So I looked away, and kept silent. He was stiff with uneasiness. Finally, he sat down next to me.
He seemed to read my mind, and did not say anything. Slowly, I began to enjoy his presence. Somehow, he brought with him a certain peace of mind that I could not find in anybody else. I felt relaxed, and accompanied. We remained that way for a long, long time.
But eventually he spoke. "Um... Ayanami."
I did not know if I should answer. I did not want to break the peaceful silence. But he was Ikari.
"... what is it?" I asked reluctantly.
He had trouble speaking it out. "Aya... Ayanami..." Pause. "Wh... What's your favorite color?"
"..."
No one had ever asked me a question like this before. For a moment I couldn't understand his intention. Suddenly, faces of people began rolling in my head, like a slide show. They spoke of meaningless things.
How was school?
Your eyes are so beautiful.
What's so interesting outside the window?
You must be smart.
How was your performance on the synchronization test?
It must be cool to live such a dangerous lifestyle.
Does piloting the Evangelion make you popular?
Say, I've never met your father.
Where are you from?
You know, Takashi has a crush on you.
Why don't you talk, Wondergirl?
I don't know.
"... You are different, Ikari-kun."
Suddenly I became conscious that I was staring deep into Ikari's eyes. A burning hot sensation flooded my cheeks, and I quickly pulled away. My heart was beating fast and I had trouble breathing. Why?
Ikari opened his mouth as if ready to say something, but nothing came out. I grabbed my belongings and hurried to the gate.
But I stopped, halfway to the gate.
I didn't want to leave.
There was a insurmountable urge within me. I wanted to talk to Ikari. But I just stood there, unable to think of anything to say.
Why don't you try answering him?
Answering him?
"Ikari-kun," I called.
"I... I'm here."
I raised my head and watched the sky. It was red. But suddenly I understood. I realized it no longer mattered. Because I'm here. Because he's here.
So I said, "The sky."
"...?" He didn't understand.
"My favorite color, is the color of the sky."
* * *
It was after dark when I returned to my apartment. The incandescent light in the hallway flickered uncontrollably. It was very quiet, which is why I sometimes enjoyed nights.
I unlocked my apartment door and entered. My eyes widened at the scenery of my apartment.
The place had become amazingly clean. The bed was made neatly, and the garbage that were left on the floor had disappeared. All the furniture were dusted, and the mails stacked in a neat pile on the table. I turned on the bathroom light. The tub had been scrubbed to sparkles, reflecting my spellbound expression. I returned to my room and realized that a note was pasted onto the fridge. A well drawn picture of his own face was on the bottom of the note, smiling.
"As a token of thanks for lending me your shower. By the way, you don't have hot water either. - Kage."
For some reason, I felt a warm, pleasant feeling slowly spreading in my chest. My lips curved themselves into a smile. Then I said the word that I had heard a certain girl call a certain boy over dozens of times, but I would never imagine saying it myself.
"Baka," I called softly.