A/N: I've had some point of view things in mind for a little while; this is not one of them. This is a little different. After thinking about The Hesitation Ramification last week and what may be coming to us in The Occupation Recalibration (spoiler in here perhaps) this week, this came to me today and I wanted to share it. Short and sweet, but I think it says a lot. Let me know what you think. As always any reviews, critical or otherwise are always appreciated.
P.O.V. 1: Penny's prayer.
This is a sort of make-it-or-break it time for me in more than one way. All I can hope is that he can wait just a little longer for me. I'm not sure, but I don't think that I blew it last night. I'm so embarrassed that I actually got down on one knee and asked him what I know he has been aching for me to. Thank you that he didn't say yes. Thank you. I did it more than just a little tipsy and didn't think it through at all. I wish I had thought about it. I wish I didn't ask. That I didn't ask just then. But he knew it. Thank you that he knew it. He knows me so well.
Ten years I've been here, away from home. I've known him for seven and loved him for six. Well maybe closer to the seven, but-oh God; don't let me blow it with him.
Once again, my pride and anger got the best of me. But I really, really want to do this. I need to do this. I really want to make it. Not make it big. Not be a star. I just want to be a working actress. And if I can have him too-God, don't let me blow it with him.
He won't like it when I tell him I'm quitting my job. I'm throwing caution to the wind with this, and his is usually the voice of reason. He is so steady. So sure. I hope I can help him see that I need to do this. Just don't let me blow it with him.
I felt that I was stuck there. At the Cheesecake Factory. Absolutely nothing happening. One day ran into the next. No passion, other than him. Other than our friends. Now I'm making things happen for myself. Making things happen for him, if he can see that. Finding more passion for myself that I can turn into more passion for him. Please, don't let me blow it with him.
Do I take advantage of him? Maybe sometimes. Do I turn him into a crutch? Probably, but he is also my crush. I love him. The last thing I see every night when I close my eyes is him. I love him. The first thing that I want to see when I wake up in the morning is him. I love him so. I can feel myself blush every time he looks at me. When he isn't looking at me, and I look at him, my heart speeds up. Things churn around in my stomach. My mouth gets dry. I love him. God, please don't let me blow it.
And he loves me. That's the thing. He loves me. Everything I've put him through. Keeping him at a distance. The doubts I have in myself. My weaknesses. But he takes the weakness away. He gives me strength. God, please don't let me blow it with him.
Soul mate. That's the phrase. That's what he is for me. Let him know it. I think he knows it. Just let him know that he is my everything. God, please don't let me blow it with him.
I could promise you anything. But you know me. All I can offer is the best version of me that I can be. You know how important it is to me to finish this. To be my own person. To be someone he can be proud of. To be worthy of what he gives me every second of every day. Please. Please. Don't let me blow it with him.