Hello. Let me introduce myself. I'm Chris and I'm a security camera in Holby City Hospital. Over the years I've had a traumatic life and what with me being a camera, I can't exactly go for counselling, can I? Some of the things I've seen would turn any camera's mechanics but life goes on and so does the world inside Holby City Hospital. Shall I tell you a few tales of what I've seen? Ok then, here goes…
Duffy and Max, well where do I start? It was a pretty harrowing experience to tell the truth. There I was minding my own business when Duffy came into his office. This didn't ring any alarm bells, she was quite often in his office, well from what I saw of them anyway.
It was when she started talking that I got interested. They were talking about Charlie not getting the wrong idea; I was slightly confused so I listened further. I heard Duffy say, "Why would he think that, when there isn't?" They were talking about a relationship and the next thing I know they're kissing. I turned away to the desk, hoping to get away from the 'action', but just my luck. Duffy lands on the desk, Max on top of her. Really, on the desk of all places. And with the blinds open as well, anyone could've seen. If I had arms I would've closed them but again, just my luck!
I turned slowly, not wanting to see what's going on, but not wanting to make myself known. Oh get real! They must've known I'm here. I'd swivelled round totally now. I was looking out of the window into the corridor. Charlie got out of the lift, no not Charlie. He looked around then looked through the glass. He saw them straight away and I saw the look on his face as he did. He looked quite shocked that they were doing what they were doing in such a public place where any random person could see; he also looked hurt in a child-like way. Like he wanted to be with Duffy, or Max I don't know! He was probably just jealous.
From what I can gather, which isn't a lot, Charlie and Duffy had been friends for a very long time and Max suddenly came onto the scene a few years ago. I'm guessing Charlie thought he muscled in on her without a thought for how others felt. And talking of that, doesn't Duffy have a husband and children? How must they feel, or don't they know? Ah, I've got it now. I bet it's just a one-off, nothing will come of it. I get the feeling Charlie will see to that.
He seems like an honest enough fellow. He should know that someone will get hurt and judging by the look on his face as he saw them, someone already has. Come on Chaz! Tell them it's wrong. Oh what am I doing? I'm a camera for heaven's sake, they can't hear me. Thinking about it, it's a good job really. Imagine what they'd do if they knew I was watching them…
Righty-o, time for the second instalment of my life at Holby City Hospital. I told you about Max and Duffy's affair last time, now I think… Hmmm… A-ha Chloe and her naughty goings on with boyfriend Jason and escaped convict brother Lewis.
I didn't know a lot about this, I only saw the end when Chloe was stood outside. She looked very upset about Jason and Lewis leaving, Well what did I expect, they are, or were, boyfriend and girlfriend! To me they seemed very much in love. I'd seen them outside the hospital when Jason had picked up and dropped off Chloe for her shifts. They were always all over each other but they did seem to care about each other. However Chloe was a lot different at work, she was a lot brighter but she wasn't as fun loving as before. He changed her for the worse.
Before she met him there was Barney. He was her perfect match it seemed. There was a definite spark between them and they were friends before. Always a good base for a relationship in my opinion. They'd seemed to be getting on rather well but then one day he didn't come back. Chloe must've known the reason for this because she never really mentioned him again; she didn't even seem particularly upset when he never showed. Maybe I was mistaken; maybe she didn't love him as much as I believed.
That's just me though, a believer in true love. And I so wanted Chloe and Barney to be that, but in the words of Shakespeare, "to be or not to be, that is the question." And evidently Chloe and Barney weren't to be.
Time to stop dwelling in the past and let me tell you the story. I saw Lewis being brought in, he'd cut his face. It was obvious he was a prisoner; the handcuffs round his wrists holding him to the trolley gave it away. Dr. Stone, Lara, was treating him. He was a good actor, I'll give him that. She had other patients but he kept asking her back. He told Chloe that he didn't want an operation because his mum had died whilst under anaesthetic. I got wary of him however, so did Chloe. He kept changing his story and blaming it on the drugs he was given and the fact he had a head injury. I knew something was wrong.
Then, he fainted. Or appeared to faint. Lara decided to take him up for a CT scan but it was down. An MRI had to do. It all got very dramatic then. Without Chloe knowing Jason had sneaked into the hospital disguised as a porter. She got caught up in his mess when he didn't want her to. To be honest I think it was her fault, she'd swapped shifts and wasn't really supposed to be there. Jason didn't want her to be there. He wanted to make a clean get away without Chloe, which makes me think he didn't love her. But on the other hand he didn't want to involve Chloe and get her into trouble, which makes me think he did love her. Oh I don't know.
She did love him though. You could tell from the way she looked when he drove off without her. She begged him to let her go but he was adamant. She knew in her heart of hearts he would go without her.
In was touch and go from then on. Tony knew. He saw my tapes when everyone realised what had happened. Anna knew, Chloe was stupid and told her in a cubicle where anyone could hear. It soon got around that Chloe and Jason were 'involved' so on the day the police were close to realising, she went out with the ambulance. That was the last anyone apart from Comfort and Nikki saw of her. She went to live happily ever after with Jason in Miami…
Well, we've had Chloe and Jason, the naughty girl. And also Max and Duffy, not much to say there. Who next? Where better to go than Jan's office.
It was the evening. The hospital was coping with the demands of a Norwalk outbreak and it would put strain on any CEO but not Jan Goddard. Superwoman could handle anything. Especially a wayward Accident and Emergency consultant gone bad.
That was how she thought of Max, as a problem. He wasn't. He was the solution in my eyes, or my camera anyway. I'd seen the front page of the newspaper, it had been sat on Jan's desk all day. Her office is the worst place to watch. She's such a boring woman, you'd never see her having sex on her desk. She'd be scared of moving something out of its exact place or knocking it on the floor. I'd seen her with Charlie, she might as well have had a sign hung round her neck; "No public displays of affection please!" The closest I've ever seen them is him giving her arm a quick squeeze as they parted once. Although I did hear something about a close encounter in a life when Charlie came back from Canada, I wish we had cameras in those lifts!
The newspaper was wanting someone to blame and it sure wasn't going to be Jan. She made sure of that. Justine Walker MP had lost her son in the corridor. It wasn't anyone in particular's fault that Norwalk had infected the department. Jan wanted someone to blame, and as Charlie had told her it was the system. But she was right, "You can't put the system on the front page of a newspaper." Correct but you can put the consultant from A and E on the front page.
The though entered her head right in that office. Stood next to her lover and her scapegoat's best friend she dreamt up an idea worthy of… I don't know, someone really cunning. I saw her look out of that window in Charlie's office right at Max. You could see the cogs in her head turning as the ones in my camera turned away in disgust. I knew what she was planning. All those hours watching her had paid off. I knew how her mind worked.
I was in the office the night she invited that smarmy reporter in. She knew exactly what she was doing the scheming bch. She even had Max's file ready for him, I'd seen her read through it, take out some things. Possible the good things he'd done. She didn't want the reporter to get a good impression of Mr. Gallagher now did she? She had it all set up for when the reporter came in. The file was on her desk, just ready to be left with him as she went to powder her nose, or get coffee. Whatever distraction she felt necessary.
I suppose I'm the only one who really knew what went on in that office apart from Ms. Goddard and the reporter, I don't even remember his name. I'm glad Charlie saw the light really, he could do so much better than her and to have him stick it out with her for so long, it's quite surprising really. I would've told him straight away what that conniving cow had done, but it's not my place.
The next I heard about the scenario was that Max had resigned because of the scandal the information Jan left the reporter with. "DR. DRUGS" the headline blared out, it was true but it should never have been public knowledge and Max knew that. He knew what Jan had done, what made it worse it that she'd said that she would do everything in her power to keep him there. How two faced can you get…?
Job change! I've moved from A and E to flitting between Darwin and Keller wards for a short while. I used to do it for a while but usually A and E is a lot more fun. There's more action and blood and gore down there. But you see, there are scandals that not everyone sees. Looking at Nurse Kath Shaughnessy, you see the good Catholic wife, not someone who is prone to frolicking with the resident priest in the hospital.
Well, proved you wrong there, haven't I? Thought so. To look at her, closing in on middle age, son working on the same ward, you wouldn't think she had the audacity to go through with it. But she did, and I have the horrific footage stored in my memory forever to prove it.
They were always quite close. Their faith gave them that. I just didn't think either or them were… like that. You know what I mean, don't you? Shows how wrong I was anyway! They'd gotten closer after Kath admitted to Michael that Simon, her husband, was beating her up.
She only did that because he'd beaten her do badly that Ric Griffin had to save her life in theatre. She confided in the loveable (well he is) priest, or whatever fancy title they've given themselves these days. I liked the friendship, they seemed to have a lot in common and Kath often went to see Michael in the chapel.
God, it's turning into another Max and Duffy scenario isn't it? Well, just like that I wasn't surprised when Kath entered the chapel that day. Before she came in Michael had been humming his favourite hymn, "Colours of Day" to himself. I can sing it backwards for you he does it that often. Anyway when Kath came in I thought "Great, maybe a bit of goss!"
They were talking very quietly and even my sensors couldn't pick up what they were saying. In hindsight I'd rather not know actually.
I swivelled round trying to get a better view. At this point I should explain that when I move, my lens turns off so I can't see. As soon as I finish moving my lens turns back on. And bloody hell what a sight it was!
He was chewing her face off, literally and I'm not joking. It was steaming up my lens and making it go all fuzzy. Ok, maybe that was a little exaggerated but the first bit most definitely wasn't! Time to look away I think, but no. Just my damn luck! I got stuck!
I must've been making quite a racket 'cause they jumped apart pretty sharpish. If a camera could blush I would've been as red as… I don't know, something very red. They looked up at me, good job they don't know about the secret lives of cameras. Then they looked at each other and Kath ran away as fast as her little legs would carry her. Well she walked away pretty damn quick.
As far as I know they never put up a performance like that in the hospital grounds again. Saved it for their own homes I hope…
It was a nice day outside, shame it was so stormy inside. There you go, my philosophical quote for the day, back to reality. There hadn't been much gossip but rumour had it there was some steamy action in the rooms for on-call doctors. Apparently Owen Davies and sexy Sister Williams were getting down and dirty in Ric's room. But more about that later. Back to business Keri and Mubbs.
They'd been quite, um, what's the word? I'll have to settle for close as I can't use a dictionary. Pam, Holby's newest bit of skirt (washed up old slapped if you ask me!). Also the hospital's "risk manager" (someone to take the flak for everyone else's mistakes if you ask me!). And also, as if that wasn't enough, Otter's outreach nurse, Keri McGrath's mother. The poor girl!
She'd bought Mubbs for Keri at a hospital charity auction. But she took a fancy to him herself and decided she wanted him. What she didn't know is that Keri's lovely little talons were already in!
I'd seen them around a bit together, in the canteen, chatting outside, just regular stuff. They looked very cute, perfectly matched, I'll give you that. I quite liked the new couple about town. Then her mother stuck her oar in. To be fair she did see him first, but then she claimed not to know about her victim's blossoming romance. Yeah, whatever!
As I said earlier, it was a nice day I'd been wishing I was by the window instead of in Pam's boring, stuffy office. That was until Mubbs came in. They were talking about the case he was involved in at first, but soon enough they were kissing. What is it with these people? Get a room that isn't an office in the hospital!
I tried to ignore it but she was sat on her desk, Mubbs on top and you just knew something was going to go wrong. I quite fancied the idea of them falling off the desk but that's my perverse sense of humour seeping through.
At first I thought it was Lisa that walked in on them. It's so obvious she still likes Mubbs a lot but it wasn't her fortunately. Unfortunately it was Keri.
She'd come to tell Mubbs something. I don't know what, she never got a chance to explain. She's a very pretty girl, much more so than her tart of a mother. She's been through a lot and she didn't need this. But I digress. In she walked and caught them red handed, or red faced anyway.
They leapt apart just in time to see Keri standing there, in shock I expect. Poor girl, I think she really liked him. Emphasis on the past tense there.
She just stood there looking at them. Finally she composed herself and walked out as they were muttering explanations. She didn't listen, the good girl. I was shouting, "Go Keri, Go Keri!" but of course, cameras don't have voices.
I hope she doesn't let either of them back into her life, not that Pam was ever there in the first place by all accounts. She's better than them, she doesn't deserve either of them.
Can cameras blush? I think I just have…
Ok, how about some breaking news, juicy gossip, hot action? Can't resist eh? Neither could they by all accounts! That little, shall we say liaison, in Ric's room went un-noticed, but doing it on your own doorstep, not literally thank god but close enough. The marital bed I think it was, clearly didn't go un-noticed.
It was the daughter that spilt the beans. No pocket money for her I shouldn't think! "How to ruin your parent's marriage in 10 easy steps." Katie Davis wrote it, published it and used it. Very well too!
I don't know the details apart from what Katie told Laura in front of everyone. Laura seemed a nice enough girl, didn't strike me as Owen's "type" but they were together none the less. Well they weren't up until recently when Katie got meningitis. Quite the problem child, isn't she! That's when they were re-united from what I could tell.
It was around the same time that Keri found out about Mubbs that Laura found out about Owen and Chrissie. There was gossip and speculation from the cameras but the hospital regulars didn't suspect a thing. You have to remember, we see and hear everything! They knew about Owen and Chrissie's past and they knew about Chrissie and Alistair's affair. On Meyer's desk, really. But, I don't think anyone thought Owen and Chrissie were at it again.
That was until Katie's little outburst. It was on Darwin ward I think, about as big audience as you could get; Alex, Sam, Janice, Alistair, Kath, Chrissie, Sandy, Danny, and the patients!
Sammy, one of the senior cams had told me about Chrissie going to see Owen but having words with Katie. It transpires that little Katie had caught them in bed together and was threatening to tell Laura about it.
Well, we were on the ward, nothing much was happening. Until Laura turned up that is. Katie mentioned something about Owen and Chrissie having lunch together, which they never got to do eventually, and Laura questioned her further. That's when Katie said something about a secret when Chrissie sleepy with Owen and wore Laura's dressing gown! I can't remember the exact dialogue.
Then it all kicked off! Laura shouted at Owen, Owen just shouted. I was loving it! There's nothing like a good scandal to brighten up your Tuesday afternoon. I didn't pay much attention to what was said. I was more interested in the look on everyone's faces.
Sandy and Danny were looking from one another to Chrissie, mouths open, in complete shock. Alex and Sam were looking at each other, I don't think they were particularly bothered. Alistair was looking at Janice innocently while she looked at Chrissie in disgust, gently stroking her ever enlarging bump. I don't think Kath really knew where to look.
All of a sudden Owen, Laura and Katie were gone and Chrissie was telling everyone "Shows over!"
Later on Tara, my favourite camera, told me that she'd seen Owen trashing his office. It would appear he liked his fling, but would've preferred it if it had stayed a secret. Typical man, I suppose. You'd never catch me doing that…!
Ritey-o I think we know each other pretty well by now don't you? I think I should explain how I came to be working in the mad house known as Holby City Hospital.
It was a warm evening and I was working in a local petrol station. It was the 19th of December, anyone know where I'm heading yet? Well anyway I'd been working in the services for about 6 months, moving from station to station, never really having a fixed position, actually make that placement, no Swivel900 security camera has a fixed position, well not in Great Britain and Northern Ireland anyway. I hear you can get them in Japan, but I'm wandering off topic again now.
I'd been working for this particular company for about 6 months as I said earlier but I'd been working in Holby for about 4 weeks altogether. There are 2 petrol stations in Holby and I was doing shift work in both of them. 8 hours on, 8 hours off, then to the other station for another 8 hour shift and so on. It was tiring and boring, not much ever really happens in petrol stations. It's not all armed raids and thefts like your hear about in the media.
In fact it's more like old ladies coming in for their cross-stitcher weekly and old men coming for a packet of fags and the racing post. But this particular night was different. It was about 11:30 when I saw two young people outside the station by the pumps. It was only Jason and Liam working so I was bored to say the least. It was nearly Christmas so there were quite a few customers during the day; filling up the car for journeys to see loved ones.
Anyway this young red haired girl was stood leaning on the wall by the pumps, she looked distressed but I couldn't do anything about it. Then a young man ran up to her, shouting her name; Amy. He was quite worried about her, so was I. Then when they turned round I could see why. She was pregnant, about to drop! They walked towards the shop adjoining the petrol station and as they walked in I could hear they were saying something about calling an ambulance. "Some help Jason and Liam are gonna be" I thought.
They staggered in and Amy was crying, I imagine she was in a lot of pain considering she was giving birth. I can't go into details, I was quite scared but it was a beautiful moment when the baby was finally delivered. The young man Amy was with delivered him, Sunny I think his name was. They called the baby Milo and just at that point two other people came in, I soon discovered these people were Charlie and Duffy and they worked with Amy and Sunny.
Now having watched Amy give birth I felt quite attached so to cut a long story short that's how I ended up at Holby City Hospital. My supervisor got in touch with John and Kath, the top cams at HCH and got me an interview. I'd like to say I impressed them with my dry sense of humour and my amazing break-swivelling, but I think it was my desperation that made them hire me. I needed a new challenge and almost 4 years later I'm still here.
I must be doing something right…