Disclaimer: C'mon, does anyone who writes fanfiction actually own what they're writing fanfiction for?

Heh. My sister, the High Blood Pressure Demon Lord, will be appearing in this. She is surprisingly in character. Hmm. And if you don't review, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN!!! I AM WATCHING YOU!!! I WILL WRITE YOUR NAME IN THE ONLINE DEATH NOTE!!!

"Are you sure we can do this?"

"Of course, just follow my lead,"

"What if they get mad?"

"We hit 'em with lead pipes,"

"Emmy!" exclaimed Rachel, hitting her sister over the head with the back of her hand, "I can't do that!"

"Of course you can, mighty High Blood Pressure Demon Lord," muttered Emmy, still peeking around the corner at her object of worship. She didn't want to do this, but she had to. For the good of fangirls everywhere! "Let's go," she signaled to her sister that it was time to move.

Rachel groaned quietly, but followed her younger sibling.

"Now…" said Emmy under her breath, "It is time…" She snuck up carefully, hidden by the invisibility cloak she'd stolen from that idiot wizard. "I can do this," she reminded herself silently, watching the figures that moved around her. "Rachel! Get over here!" she motioned. Her sister quickly ran over and ducked underneath the cloak as well, making sure her feet didn't stick out.

"Emmy? Can I still back out?" she whispered.

"Only if you don't want one of your own."

"Fine, I'm gone," she tried to run from her sister, but was quickly stared down.

"Onii-chan… Are you sure you want to run?" asked Emmy in a very disturbing voice. Rachel quickly shook her head back and forth in a silent 'no'.

"Good. Now concentrate."

Rachel gave one nod before looking up towards the high roof of the building they hid behind.

"Are you ready Onii-chan?" Emmy muttered. Rachel nodded once and, with all her might, lifted Emmy on to her back and kicked off of the ground. Emmy squeaked with joy, and once Rachel had gotten them above the height of the building, Emmy took a kunai from her pocket.

"This should do… Ready, and!" She thrust the kunai towards a large airshaft after quickly tying a string to the handle in midair. The small dagger twisted around the shaft several times, pulling them onto the roof. They exchanged quick high-fives.

"Red dawn!!!" exclaimed Emmy.

"Stop saying that. Please."

"I- shh! Be quiet!" she whispered quickly, covering Rachel's mouth with her hand and pulling them both to crouching positions, where no one could see them if they looked up. "Damn. He's so… Hot…" Emmy drooled quietly, watching her blonde bishi run from a mob of less stealthy fangirls in the street. "Must…. Haaaave…"

While Rachel's attention was elsewhere. She sighed as she watched the glory of her transvestite-esque bishi crouch on the roof of another building, as he pointed and laughed at Emmy's crush. Rachel gave a silent giggle. This would work out beautifully! First, they'd capture the hard one…

"It's time," said Emmy quietly, wrapping her kunai in an explosive that would set off a net. "Are you ready?"

Rachel nodded slowly, her eyes still latched to Envy's hair. "His hair… It's just so… green!"

"Yes, yes, very green, now let's do our thing."

"Okay then. Which one first?"

"Edo. Duh." she said, glaring down at her friend, who led the mob with great enthusiasm, running side by side with her aunt as they simultaneously shouted 'red dawn'! "Sorry, Ayumi," she muttered, "We both have our priorities."

And she let the kunai fly, dropping it directly in front of Ed.

"Three… Two… One!" she chanted in unison with Rachel.

BOOM!

The kunai EXPLODEDEdeded, knocking Ed unconscious and sending bits of fangirl EVERYWHERE!

"Quick!" Emmy exclaimed, launching herself off of the roof and down to the street. She quickly made sure Ed was unconscious with a few whacks of her lead pipe, and tied him up with her thickest rope. "Aw, sleeping Edo," she said hyper-ly.

"Yeah, aw… Now let's go get Envy!!!" said Rachel, now more than enthusiastic about the kidnapping business.

"Meh…" Emmy muttered, easily slinging Ed over her shoulder.

"Let's use Ed as bait!!!" Rachel said, yanking Edo away from her sister, and having a lot more trouble holding his weight.

"Y'know I could snap you like a twig if I wanted to," Emmy threatened.

"Yeah, I know, HEY ENVY!!!"

Rachel lifted Edward over her head (with some effort) and waved him around.

"Hey girly boy! I bet I could kick your ass! In golf!" she added, giggling quietly. Then she noticed that Envy wasn't looking in her direction. She pouted cutely. "I said girly boy! Envy, dammit, that's you, you retard!!!"

"WHAT?!" Envy jumped down from his perch on the roof, "You may insult my asexuality, but do not insult my mentality! You want golf?! I'LL GIVE YOU FRICKIN' GOLF! I will beat you to a bloody pulp with my golf club, then rip your head off and use it as a golf ball, because I don't have any!!!" he paused. "I don't have any because I just enjoy buying golf clubs to beat people with."

Rachel sighed, "Isn't he dreamy?" while Emmy rolled her eyes.

"We need you to get in this," she said to Envy, holding out a burlap sac, "We're kidnapping you."

"Really? Cool!" he replied. He shape-shifted into a rabbit and jumped into the sac.

Well???? Whaddaya think? Will you review? Please? What?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'NO'?! YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE:::collapses into sobbing fit:::

Envy: Silence, mortal!

Emmy: Nuu…

Ed: Review! Review or she'll beat me with a lead pipe! Please!