March 1

Top 5 Reasons I Hate Shawn:

5- Gwen Stapleton, fourth grade. Shawn told her I thought she had cooties, and she never spoke to me again. I didn't think she had cooties! I thought she was cute. And by the time we were in high school…damn. She was fine. But by then, I didn't have a chance. She still thought I thought she had cooties.

4- Mexico, the first time.

3- Mexico, the second time.

2- Harry Potter. He totally spoiled the ending! And he didn't even read it! He just Googled it so he could tell me what happened before I read it.

1- Making me write this stupid journal.

Okay, so number 1 probably requires some explanation. If it wasn't for Shawn, I wouldn't be a Private Investigator (a job I never wanted) and I wouldn't be on-staff at the SBDP (a place I never wanted to work), which means I wouldn't have to be documenting my emotional stability (something that should never be called into question).

So, there you have it. 5 reasons off the top pf my head to never speak to Shawn again. 5 reasons to start a new life…get a new best friend…no Psych, no journal, no cases…no one pointing guns at my head or trying to blow me up…

Yeah.

Maybe I'll really do it this time.

Of course, my name is on the lease at Psych. If I'm not there, God only knows what he'll do to the place. And I am not losing my security deposit.

Though, let's face it. We probably lost the security deposit when Shawn decided to take up prospecting.

March 2

Top 3 Reasons I Love Being a Pharmaceutical Rep:

3- Driving my route alone with my cell phone off. No one can reach me. No one can bother me. No one can pester me into committing a Class-C Misdemeanor. And no one can tell me to turn off the Billy Ocean CD.

2- My tamper-proof, completely indestructible sample case. It was designed by NASA, so it's cool even when it's filled with nothing but hemorrhoid cream. It's like I'm a step away from being an astronaut.

1- The girls. Seriously, most of the receptionists I see are single and very, very lonely. Not lonely enough to go on an actual date, as it turns out, but lonely enough to flirt shamelessly when I come in.

It's awesome.

I don't care what my parents say.