ch1: i swear i'm not a murderer

?: pls tell me u rnt busy tmrw.
received Friday at 1:32pm.

?: THIS IS AN EMERGENCY. ANSWER ME.
received Friday at 1:32pm.

?: IK WHERE U LIVE.
received Friday 1:33pm.

K.S.: Wrong number.
sent Friday at 1:34pm.

?: oh god. sry new phone. ur # is almst the same as my friends.
received Friday at 1:34pm.

K.S.: I assumed as much.
sent Friday at 1:35pm.

?: chngd my mind. r u busy tmrw?
received Friday at 1:57pm.

K.S.: Why?
sent Friday at 1:58pm.

?: do u want 2 show up my bday party and pretend 2 b my date so aoko stops trying 2 hook me up w/ random ppl? id owe u.
received Friday at 1:59pm.

K.S.: Do I need to point out how stupid this is? I could be a murderer for all you know.
sent Friday at 1:59pm.

?: im desperate.
received Friday at 2:01pm.

K.S.: Deseperate enough to text a potential murderer?
sent Friday at 2:03pm.

?: u dont understand.
received Friday at 2:04pm.

?: shes trying 2 set me up w/ hakuba rn. my arch enemy. i mean hes hot but no.
received Friday at 2:04pm.

K.S.: Hakuba Saguru?
sent Friday at 2:08pm.

?: ye. he keeps trying 2 arrest me. thinks im kid.
received Friday at 2:09pm.

K.S.: Who's Kid?
sent Friday at 2:09pm.

?: HES ONLY THE GREATEST THIEF OF THIS CENTURY.
received Friday at 2:11pm.

K.S.: Well, that answers my second question.
sent Friday at 2:11pm.

K.S.: Can't you just ask your friend to stop setting you up?
sent Friday at 2:15pm.

?: shes stubborn & wont listen 2 logic.
received Friday at 2:18pm.

K.S.: I'm sure I'm going to regret this, but sure. I'll come.
sent Friday at 2:19pm.

K.S.: It's not like I have anything better to do tomorrow.
sent Friday at 2:19pm.

?: !
received Friday at 2:20pm.

?: omg ur a lifesaver holy shit.
received Friday at 2:20pm.

?: were meeting at the restaurant on kappei st.
received Friday at 2:20pm.

K.S.: What time?
sent Friday at 2:21pm.

?: 4:30
received Friday at 2:22pm.

?: idk how long the party will b.
received Friday at 2:22pm.

K.S.: That's fine.
sent Friday at 2:25pm.

…

M.R.: Sonoko invited us to a gallery opening tomorrow. Dress nice.
received Friday at 4:18pm.

K.S.: What time?
sent Friday at 4:19pm.

M.R.: Five o'clock.
received Friday at 4:20pm.

K.S.: Can't. I'm going on a date, sort of.
sent Friday at 4:27pm.

M.R.: WHAT. With who? Where?
received Friday at 4:27pm.

M.R.: ANSWER YOUR PHONE.
received Friday at 4:32pm.

M.R.: Don't make me come over there!
received Friday at 4:35pm.

…

missed call from: Mouri Ran

voicemail: "Shinichi, unlock the door, you're being childish! Just tell me who it is! Whe—you hid the spare key! Was that really necessary? ...Fine, be like that. But I expect details later! You can't hide forever."

…

K.S.: I'll talk to you on Sunday. We're meeting up anyways.
sent Friday at 5:30pm.

M.R.: …Fine. But you're buying lunch.
received Friday at 5:31pm.

K.S.: I was going to anyways.
sent Friday at 5:33pm.

M.R.: Don't get smart with me, you're on thin ice as is.
received Friday at 5:33pm.

K.S.: Sorry.
sent Friday at 5:34pm.

…

S.S.: is your date hot?
received Friday at 5:40pm.

K.S.: …Ran told you.
sent Friday at 5:42pm.

S.S.: duh.
received Friday at 5:44pm.

K.S.: I don't know.
sent Friday at 5:45pm.

K.S.: If he's hot, I mean. I haven't met him.
sent Friday at 5:45pm.

S.S.: ooh, scandalous. what would your fans think?
received Friday at 5:46pm.

K.S.: I will snap chat you a picture of him when I get there if you shut up.
sent Friday at 5:47pm.

S.S.: done.
received Friday at 5:47pm.

…

?: oh btw im kuroba kaito.
received Friday at 6:02pm.

K.S.: Kudo Shinichi. Nice to meet you.
sent Friday at 6:18pm.

K.K.: nice 2 meet u 2. see u tmrw.
received Friday at 6:19pm.

…

K.S.: I might be late. I have a tendencies to run into dead bodies.
sent Saturday at 4:06pm.

K.K.: pls tell me ur not actually a serial killer.
received Saturday at 4:07pm.

K.S.: I'm not a serial killer.
sent Saturday at 4:07pm.

K.K.: good.
received Satuday at 4:08pm.

K.K.: y r u running into dead bodies?
received Saturday at 4:08pm.

K.S.: I'm a homicide detective.
sent Saturday at 4:10pm.

K.S.: Someone just got murdered, down the street from the restaurant. I'm sorry.
sent Saturday at 4:10pm.

K.K.: u werent kidding. im heading over 2 pick u up.
received Saturday at 4:15pm.

1. yes, kaito actually txts like that. it drives hakuba up the wall, which is a big part of why he does it.

2. ran has a bit more patience than aoko. she's been subtly hinting that shinichi should try dating but hasn't said anything overt yet. sonoko, on the other hand, constantly snap chats him pics of cute boys and teases him about how he needs to find himself a boyfriend. shinichi just rolls his eyes and snap chats her exasperated faces and snide remarks.

3. shinichi is ridiculously bored most days. you can only reread sherlock holmes so many times before it starts getting repetitive, as much as he loathes to admit it. so he kinda figured wth, why not. let's go be someone's fake date.

an: okay, so as usual ffn has messed up my formatting. why. what have i done to deserve this. it looks better on ao3. sigh. anyways. 2nd chap coming, idk when.

edit: that last txt from kaito at 4:08pm is supposed to read 'wait why are you running into dead bodies?' in txt speak but ffn is being a dick.