Summary: Zim sings a song to Dib to express just how he feels deep down in his bologna-heart. I was hyper.
Author's Notes: I DID actually write something non-humorous as promised...and it was just an awful experience really...like listening to Sum-41..so let's face it...I'm just not all that funny...or dramatic. YAY! Okay, so I wrote this at 1 in the morning on a hyper trip, then read it the next morning, and I'm just hoping it's only funny if you're not me.
Disclaimer: I don't own Zim. I don't own Sum-41 either. -crosses self- Father son and holy ghost...
O.o.O
"Oh Dib human! It is I...eh...Bigfeets!"
An irritated Dib opened the door to his house a crack to see Zim standing there, happy as can be. "What do you want, Zim?"
"I just thought I should tell you how I really feel, Dib-worm," Zim stated cheerfully. "No more hideous liiiies for ZIM!"
Dib was unimpressed.
"You know this by now Dib-filth: You must die I alone am best!"
Dib rolled his eyes.
"I hope you flip some other wormbaby off, and he cuts you off and you're forced to swerve, right into your filthy Earth-band's tour bus, a book mobile, and a mack truck."
"Uh huh..." said Dib.
"ZIM ISN'T FINISHED! A mack tuck hauling hazardous human waste, the stoplight turns red, you have no brakes, your Swollen Eyeballs catch it all on tape, I'd like to see the look on your FACE!"
"I hope you're Pinto begins to spin, takes out an Earth war veteran, annihilates an Earth peace prize winner, and maybe some dolphins having XMAS dinner!"
Dib opened the door further, truly concerned. "Zim? Did Gir put crack in your waffles again?"
"SILENCE! Maybe even the Earth-stink royal family, and the Earth-leader who's clutching the DISGUSTING puppy, and I hope you won't forget the human newlyweds, and the horrible children-good as dead..."
"ZIM-"
"I hope all this helps to emphasize, I hope it all helps to clarify that ZIM hopes you die!"
There was a pause. "Are you done?" asked a disgusted Dib.
"NO! I also hope your cellmate thinks he's your GOD, but the EYEBALLS refer to him as Bowling Ball Bag Bob, serving time again for the abuse of a human corpse, only this time the victim's a filthy horse!"
"I hope he does the "Silence of the Lambs" dance to Christian rock, eats human waste and quotes from "Deliverance", and fights with his imaginary playmate VINCE..."
"I hope he grins like wormbaby Jack Nicholson, and whatever happens next is all a blur, but you'll remember fist can be a verb, and when you finally regain consciousness, you're bound and gagged in a wedding dress, and the prison guard looks the other way, because he's the same wormbaby you flipped off that day!"
Dib just stared through wide eyes as Zim finished his song. "Wait. Is that a song from The Bloodhound Gang?"
Zim stopped laughing maniacally. "Yes, Dib-human, as a matter of fact it is."
"That's just...dumb."
"Dumb like a moose Dib! DUMB LIKE A MOOSE!" Zim started his laugh again and Dib just closed the door and walked away.
"Whatever..."
And Xir didn't really know how to end the fic, so she started dancing with Zim. Then Gir arrived on the scene and did the box-step.
Now hate my parents as much as I do. The end. I still like flames.