The words congealed in his throat when he saw the pity in her eyes. Where was the anger, the uncontrollable emotions that only he could evoke? His gloved hand gripped her shoulder, and he felt his face burn with humiliation.
"What are you talking about?" he managed to choke out moments later. "Aren't I the guy that you have to absolutely beat no matter what? As if you could even claim that you've risen to a status above mine! How pathetic-"
"I never claimed that I have," she countered, but with a calm that unsettled him. She stared, her face impassive, until he clenched his fingers and turned away.
"You really think that you have the time to-to-" His voice faltered, and he cursed himself for it before continuing. "-to distract yourself with relationships and love-making if you want to beat me? It'll take another hundred years before you can ever reach my level of celebrity and fame!"
"You are no longer the standard by which I measure my success, Shoutarou." Her smile was polite, but cold. "And what I choose to do with my private life is none of your business." His face turned red with anger and he punched the wall.
"Like hell it isn't my business if-"
"If what?" She stared up at him with that same, pitying look, and it was more than he could stand. He saw red.
"You aren't supposed to focus on anything but me!" And it was over, all over. He was barely able to curse himself into the ground before she stepped away from him, her expression unreadable.
"I see," she said next, and before he could stop himself he hid his face with his hands.
"Shit... shit, that's not what I meant to say-"
"It's not what you wanted to say but it is what you meant to imply," she said, her voice clipped. "I can only be angry at myself for allowing you to goad me like this for so long, though."
"Shut up."
"I can't believe what a fool I was-no, more like, I can't believe what an immature child you are." He refused to look up at her. She crossed her arms, her eyes shifting to the ground. "Picking on me and acting like the king of jerks, did you really think that was going to make me come back to you?"
"No! Of course not!" He leaned against the wall and sighed, his hands still covering his face. "I didn't know what I was doing, and I stopped asking myself why a long time ago. I just... more than anything, I just hated-"
"-the thought of you not being the center of my universe anymore? The thought of someone else occupying that space in my heart?"
"Your thoughts were always filled with me, whether you loved me or hated me!" He heard her sharp intake of breath, and lowered his hands to glare at her. "You have always been mine, and the thought of you ever becoming otherwise..."
"You thought you could own me?" The incredulous look on her face shamed him to silence. "You threw me away like an old dish rag, and then when I showed some type of value and beauty you decided to claim your property? It doesn't work that way, you know." She gave a harsh little laugh. "And to think that I let you get away with it, with manipulating my anger at you into more attention lavished upon you..."
"I don't know where you're coming up with this bullshit, but you're sorely mistaken if you think I need you to occupy any space in my life." He tried to add bite to his words, but they ended up sounding hollow and sad. "I have better things to do with my time, obviously."
"And yet here you stand," she countered, "running to antagonize me at the first reports of my new relationship with Tsuruga-"
"Well?" he spat out, his stomach churning. "Is it true?"
Her eyes averted to the corner of the room as she projected another unreadable expression.
"It's not of any consequence, least of all to you," she said quietly. "Now, I would appreciate it if you would leave my dressing room and this set at once. You cannot possibly have anything to say to me that hasn't already been said. And anything else you might say right now may embarrass you the moment you leave, so I suggest you get going."
She was right, and he hated knowing that she was right. But his facades were shambles at her feet now, and he had watched her eyes dart across the room. It was too late for him to turn back, regardless of his newly-painful awareness of his own feelings.
"You love him, don't you."
She clenched her jaw, and he thought he had finally riled her to anger. His hopes started rising.
They died again when she laughed once more, her eyes boring into his.
"Now we both know the pain of having unrequited feelings, wouldn't you agree?" Her smile became a harsh line. "Please don't come to visit me again."
He stormed out of her dressing room soon after, and fought the ache in his throat as he fumbled to find his sunglasses in his leather trenchcoat. That bitch is delusional, she doesn't know what the hell she's talking about, the thought of you having feelings for her, so infuriating...
He waited until he was alone in his room, in his bed and under the covers, before he started screaming.
Kyouko watched him leave with a grim expression, not even flinching when the door slammed off its hinges. A moment later, she sat down at her vanity and stared into the mirror until she saw tears running down her face.
Never written for Skip Beat before but I felt inspired when I heard the new Ben Folds Five CD (which is fantastic)... this story kind of popped up out of nowhere. Bitter to the sweet.