I wanted to expand more on Aayla and Kit's past. I mentioned in The Goddess of Light that Aayla broke the code with Kit, but since i like this pairing, I decided to write some background on it. This was written at one in the morning when inspiration hit, so please excuse any mistakes. I'll look it over in the morning. This is also my first time writing from the perspective of a male.
And original title, huh?
I didn't understand.
In the life of a Jedi general, things went to hell on a daily basis, but I had never seen anything go this far this quickly. I ducked under the crimson blade, feeling the pain of a burn on my tentacles. My heart was feeling the deaths of the Jedi who lay on the floor behind me like a blow to the skull. This was my failure to keep my eyes forward and watch the future. I should have seen this coming.
My life is coming to an end.
I can only hope that you, the receiver of this Force Message, which I have sent out to the first force-sensitive mind I could find, can hear what I have to say, and keep the memory of me alive. The memory of her, as well, should she join me on the other side…
But I am getting ahead of myself. I have a story to tell. It is not a sob story, nor a story of perfect romance. I am so far from a knight in shining armor it is laughable, and she would rip off the head of anyone who labeled her a 'damsel in distress'.
Everything had started on a mission to Malastare. Diplomatic in nature. My issue was not the planet, but the Jedi I had been sent along with.
You see, my name is Jedi Master Kit Fisto. I am a Nautolan. I am on the council, and I am thirty four standard years old.
As I was saying, we were sent together to Malastare. A diplomatic mission to make a treaty with the dugs. Why two Jedi were required for such a boring mission was never explained. It was uneventful. No treaty was made, I never used my lightsaber, and I had far too much time alone with a certain female Jedi.
I should have never allowed it to go this far. I should have killed my feelings before that could even start to flower, but I thought it was just a passing fancy. I may be a Jedi, but am still male. I have them.
She was over-confident and under-dressed. Her mouth had neither volume control nor filter. Her thoughts spilled out into reality at complete random. She flirted with clones and fellow Jedi alike. Her picture is in the dictionary next to 'unorthodox'. Well, in my dictionary, at least. No, I am not a stalker. I am a Jedi.
We clashed. My calm sarcasm and her fiery passion are a deadly combination. Just put us in the same room, add a controversial topic, and step away as things explode.
I told her off for never once thinking before she spoke. She told me I was boring and stiff. Things went downhill from there. In the end, our clone commanders had to pull us apart.
I was winning. Really.
…Okay, I am not too manly to admit I was completely and utterly…eh…well…the words 'beaten into dust' and 'made one with the ship floor' come to mind. She might have actually killed me if the clones had not been there.
We agreed to keep out distance, if only to prevent the two of us from laying waste to the Jedi temple in our…disagreements. This decision was heavily supported by most of the Jedi council, all of whom had been caught in the crossfire of our many disputes.
Once we were even called in and chastised for 'Actions that directly challenged the Jedi Code.' Our spats had become more and more frequent as time passed. Eventually we had come to blows, and Master Ti's apprentice was caught between us…It was not pretty. To this day I cannot think about the Togrutian Jedi Master without remembering the thunderous look on her face as she flung us apart and lifted her apprentice to her feet. I had never felt more shame in my life.
Master Yoda scolded us himself.
"Acting like younglings, you two are," He said. "So treated like younglings, you shall be. For the next three weeks, attend Master Ti's classes, you shall. And spend all three weeks together, you will."
The first two weeks were misery. Master Ti had more fun than I think she ever had, torturing us in front of the younglings and making us do chores.
The third week, something happened. A wing of the temple had been damaged and the roof caved in. That roof just so happened to be the one above Master Ti's classroom.
Thanks to Master Ti, Master Skywalker, and their apprentices, whose names both escape me, all the younglings escaped unharmed.
But she was trapped by falling debris. Looking back now, I realize it seems cheesy. Sorry about that, I can't change the truth to make a better story.
Anyway, I ran back into the wreckage when I realized she was not with us. I think Master Skywalker nearly had a seizure when I refused to obey him and went back. When I found her, her femur bone had been broken by a huge slab of concrete.
She was in the medical wing for three hours while they tried to set the bone. The femur is a bone possessed by almost all upright walking humanoids. It is the thickest, sturdiest bone in my body, and in hers. If that bone is broken, that means the incident that broke it had the capacity to kill you.
It took eight months for the bone to heal, and when it did, she was a different person. She had been…humbled. Even though her fiery attitude aggravated me to no end, I hated that the only way she could be calmed was to stare death in the face.
That was when I realized I cared far too much about her. Meditation brought me no answers, not even hours of it on end. So I looked to an external source. Master Ti may have enjoyed watching us dance like puppets under her command for three weeks, but she was still the wisest Jedi I had ever met, excluding Yoda, and a good friend.
Her advice was exactly what I did not want.
"Let it go, Kit," she said. "You are at the age where your species naturally chooses a mate. Surrender your feelings to the force, and everything will be well."
"Shaa-Master Ti, I don't have the patience for your riddles right now," I had replied. Her brow had wrinkled.
"That was not a riddle, Master Fisto. You will understand in time."
I had stormed out of Master Ti's quarters like a youngling. And ran straight into her. She took a step back as she nearly collided with my chest.
She said she had wanted to speak with Master Ti. I wandered off in a huff, Shaak's words swimming back and forth in my head. At first I thought her words had gone in one ear and out the other, but after even a short amount of time I realized they were stuck with me. I dreamt about them. I dreamt about her.
Even when we were apart, often by millions of light years, she haunted me. I hated her. I hated everything she believed in and everything about her. So why did my thoughts keep returning to her?
I should have consulted Master Ti again, but I was too stubborn. I let my feelings go, but they did not leave. They stuck to me like an overly loyal vornskyr, and made me irritable and snappy.
It was in the room of the Thousand Fountains that everything came to head at last. I was meditating. It was around two in the morning. I was alone, but not for long.
"Fancy meeting you here, Master Fisto," she had said as she folded her legs under her and sat next to me. I didn't want to talk to her. I had just been trying to figure out how I felt about her, and she just had to show up in person so screw everything up.
So I said nothing.
"What's the matter?" Her voice had changed in tone. She sounded almost…almost concerned. About me? All nine hells of Corellia must've frozen over.
"Nothing is wrong," I said. My voice came out steady and I praised my Jedi training over and over in my head.
A hand had touched my cheek. My eyes met blue pools. I gulped.
"Liar," she had whispered. For some reason she was not trying to provoke me. Or at least, not in any way I was used to. Our faces were so close that I could smell her breath. It smelled like mint. She licked her lips. I swallowed thickly. She flirted openly with more Jedi than I could count, male and female, but I had never seen her be so forward with anyone, much less me…
"What are you doing?" I asked quietly. I was sure I was flushing.
"Pushing you," she murmured, sliding closer. Her eyes closed and then she was kissing me.
It took my body about three and a half seconds to decide it liked this situation very much, and about two more for my mind to start kicking and screaming.
Of course, being the sensible and responsible Jedi I am, I kissed her back and opted to work out the details later.
'Later' was in about ten minutes. When she suddenly had broke down into tears in the middle my bedroom. I had dropped to my knees beside her, wondering what I done wrong.
The same confusing feelings of love and hate rioted in her. She cried, and I think I cried too. I didn't know what to say, or what to do, but I knew I didn't want either of us to feel sad. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and embraced her. I could feel her beating heart, alive, and well.
She turned around and kissed me again.
"Screw the code," she whispered when she finally released me. "You're better."
Hate is often a cover for emotions that run much deeper. Now that I know this, I can see that the Temple is full of Jedi who feel the same way as she and I do.
And now, as I stare death in the face alongside Mace Windu, above the dead bodies of Agen Kolar and Sasee Tiin, I realize it was worth it.
I pray that you will survive, my love, and that you will escape the reign of terror I know will follow my death. I push the thought with all my strength towards her.
The crimson blade raises and I know I am not fast enough to block.
I love you, and I have no regrets.
The blade came down.
My sweet Aayla.