Catastrophe 5

Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos.

One Shot

Farrah, the feline heroine Persiana, sighed angrily as she was watching TV. In it, Catman was being taken away in handcuffs after attempting to rob a jewelry store. Of course, the love struck feline villain had struck it during the day, with both Black Canary and Green Arrow patrolling the area. Catman was being taken away, shrieking,

"YOU FOOLS!! YOU'RE IN ON IT TOO!! YOU'RE ALL CONSPIRING TO TAKE MY BRIDE AWAY FROM ME!!"
Persiana groaned,

"Catman is never going to take a hint at this rate. If there was only a way to get him off my back. But, what can I do that won't kill him?"

Her ears twitched at that moment. Farrah sniffed and detected Wonder Woman's scent approaching. The Amazon princess was scowling, muttering to herself,

"That Catwoman is not going to take a hint. Batman is mine. Why does that woman continue to interfere?"

She sat down, sighing angrily.

Farrah walked up to her and said,

"Hey, princess."

Diana looked up,

"Hello, sister."

The raven-haired warrior sighed,

"Catwoman is trying to steal Batman from me. Even after I wore that costume, I am still in competition with her. Gods, it is infuriating that a woman like…her…would be able to hold the attention of Batman. I mean, I am blessed with the beauty of Aphrodite, and Catwoman is…is…" (1)

Farrah smirked,

"I know what you mean. Catman won't take a hint. Granted, I'm svelte and hot and everything, but I have seriously better taste in men. Lance has been extraordinarily kind and sweet to me. I just wish Catman would leave me alone and…"

A sinister, evil smirk appeared on the feral's face. Farrah looked at Diana,

"Don't you think that there could be a way both of us could mutually benefit if both of them were to distance themselves?"

Wonder Woman looked appalled,

"If you are suggesting killing them…"
The white-haired lioness shook her head,

"Not exactly. Here's my plan…"

She began whispering to Diana, and the Amazon princess was a bit surprised, but an evil smile formed on the warrior's lips. Wonder Woman looked at her friend,

"Are you sure this will work, sister?"

Farrah giggled,

"Of course. I just need to get a few things. In the meantime, here's what I want you to do…"

Several hours later…

The plan in motion was simple; get Catwoman and Catman into a situation that would embarrass them to no end so they would give up their romantic overtures. Farrah had set up shop in a vacant apartment next door to Diana's. Inside was a bed with two sets of shackles and a video camera was hidden off to the side, with a perfect view of the bed. The lioness was busy filling the contents of two vials of knock out poison. Two other vials were already in a test tube rack, but they were not knock out poison.

While the poison was being mixed, Farrah had sent Wonder Woman off to find Catwoman, and had Catman released from jail. The lure was that Catwoman would hear a rumor that Batman wanted to meet her, and talk about their relationship. For Catman, it was Farrah had finally come around and, persuading the other were-cats, would make litters of kittens with him. Naturally, both of them bought it.

Catwoman was brought in first. She noticed the shackled bed and giggled,

"Oh, this is SO going to work well with my whip."
Just then, a dart hit her neck, and she quickly fell unconscious. Wonder Woman brought her aside, hidden out of view. The raven-haired princess asked,

"Are you sure this is going to work?"
Farrah grinned,

"Trust me, it will."

Her ears twitched at that moment,

"Catman's coming. Quick, hide."
Diana did so, despite having reservations about this plan. Farrah got on the bed, wrapping her arms around the chains, careful not to be shackled up, and got on the bed, waiting.

Catman burst through the door a minute later and noticed a seductively staring Farrah leering at him. The feline villain's heart leapt,

"Goddess? Is it true?"
The lioness arched her spine like a cat enjoying a long stretch, and sat up, purring seductively,

"Of course. I need a real cat to make kittens with, right?"
Catman got on one knee and nodded,

"Of course, goddess. Anything for you."

Farrah prowled to the edge,

"Anything? You're willing to do anything for me?"
Catman nodded his head vigorously,

"Anything for my future bride."

The lioness' eyes narrowed, lustfully licking her lips,

"Shackle yourself to the bed, handsome."

Catman eagerly did so. As soon as he finished, he was hit with a dart in his neck. He fell unconscious.

Farrah then called out,

"Wonder Woman, get Catwoman in here."
The Amazon princess brought the unconscious cat burglar in and asked,

"What is the next part of the plan?"

The furry scientist pulled out two vials,

"Now, the fun REALLY begins."

She injected the contents into both Catwoman and Catman. Diana asked,

"What is that?"
Farrah answered,

"Concentrated feline hormones. In about ten seconds, those two will be all over each other, which is why I have the camera set up."
She finished the injections and nodded,

"Now, we run!"
She and Wonder Woman teleported up to the Watchtower.

24 hours later…

Catman moaned as the sun peered over his face. He said,

"What happened?"

He could feel the cold metal shackles on his wrists and tried to sit up. When he did, he immediately noticed he was naked. But, that was not the biggest surprise. The biggest surprise was Catwoman was naked as well, laying down on top of him. He freaked,

"WHAT IS THIS?"
This roused the feline fatale out of her cat-nap, and looked up in horror,

"YOU!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
She got up and noticed large red welts all over Catman's chest, and blood on the whip. It was clear to both of them what went on in that room.

Selina was mortified,

"I slept with Catman? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!"

Catman was irate,

"YOU ARE NOT MY GODDESS!! TELL ME WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO HER, YOU HARPY!"
He tried to go for her, but was restrained.

As Selina was getting her clothes, she noticed a red and white envelope amongst the clothes. Catwoman picked it up and read it.

Dear Catwoman;

By the time you find this, the little sex tape of you and Catman will be all over the Internet. This is for all the times you tried to take Batman away from Wonder Woman, and for Catman trying to flirt with me. Take a hint; leave me and my friends alone, or I'll find you, and do something like this again.

Signed,

Pesiana, World's greatest Sex Kitten!

P.S. The key to the shackles is attached.

Catwoman had a nervous twitch in her eye as she crumpled the note and threw it aside, not caring if the note containing the key already dropped out of the window. The cat burglar shrieked,

"PERSIANA!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR THIS!!!"

She stormed out, putting the rest of her clothes on.

After a few minutes, Catman looked around,

"Uh, is someone going to let me out? I really need to go to the bathroom."

End of Catastrophe 5

Thanks, GrimlockX4, for the idea.

(1) Read Love in the Shadows