DISCLAIMER:: not mine. i own nothing, just borrow it for the execution of my master plans

A/N:: this came to me while i was bored at work. it's an alternate ending to season 1. enjoy. reviews really appreciated. they make me smile.

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Loving Jane Rizzoli had never been part of her plan.

When Maura Isles had first started working in conjunction with Boston homicide, it had been a strictly professional decision. There was nothing personal about it. The best way to further her career ambitions was to take the job. So she did. And then Jane Rizzoli happened.

It was not something that happened quickly. The easiness was always there. They clicked somehow, something Maura had never experienced before. But she was still the same socially awkward individual she'd always been and there were times when she could even see Jane's resolve wearing in her presence.

She wasn't aware of the exact moment when things changed for her. One day the love she felt for Jane was entirely platonic and the next she was picturing her future with the detective. At first, the change went completely unnoticed. Who didn't want to spend the rest of their life with their best friend? Plus, wanting Jane to be in her future, a part of it, wasn't the same thing as wanting to be with Jane in her future and she was considered that the first was her reasoning behind her sudden daydreams.

And then the realization hit her full force in the face. It wasn't one of those moments you plan, a big moment you believe will be life changing. No revolutions happened, no oppressed countries were liberated, Jimmy Choo hadn't released a new line. It was a seemingly normal minute of a seemingly normal day in a seemingly normal week. They were sitting across from each other at the Dirty Robber along with Detectives Korsak and Frost. She couldn't remember the joke it was that Korsak told but Jane rolled her eyes and grinned. Maura took the rare opportunity to observe the detective, the lines of her face, the brightness in her eyes. It was then she knew what she felt for Jane and in what context.

It didn't appall her or cause her panic. It was just a fact of her life, a part of who she was. It occurred to her that telling Jane was the most appropriate step to take but she held back, not so much out of fear of rejection or loss of friendship, but more that she didn't want to burden Jane. It's quite a terribly guilty feeling you can get when one expresses a love in which you cannot return. The last thing she would ever want to do is burden Jane.

-/-

Jane Rizzoli had loved Maura Isles from the moment she laid eyes on her. The attraction was so instantaneous that it knocked the breath right out of her. Maura swept into the bullpen that first day looking as if she had just stepped off a runway. At the time Jane had figured she was just trying to make a good impression her first day at work, but she soon came to realize that this was Maura's "casual" attire and that one of her designer outfits cost more than Jane made in a month.

She had stared curiously at this newcomer to their little family. Maura may have looked like a model but she shied away from the attention, as if the tension in her muscles would somehow make the files on the detectives' desks more interesting and take the spotlight off her. Maura was a mystery to Jane from that very first day and she loved every minute of it.

It all came together then, her life, the reasons why she'd spent her childhood days playing a game of baseball with all the boys rather than sitting on the sidelines with the rest of the girls giggling when a boy looked their way. She'd always been rough and tough, not because she felt she had something to prove but because she generally enjoyed being competitive, one of the boys. Maura made her see what had always been right in front of her face.

She knew she could never tell anyone, especially not Maura. But the draw was too hard to resist and so she struck up a friendship with the medical examiner, figuring that being close to her as a friend would be better than not knowing her at all. And once she had gotten to know her, she couldn't imagine not having Maura in her life, the concept seemed foreign and wrong.

So she kept her love a secret from Maura, for fear that the medical examiner would not only reject her, but take away the one thing she valued above all others, her friendship. Losing that would be her downfall.

But Maura hardly made it easy on her. Beyond her adorable antics and the suggestive way she dressed was the way she sometimes handled herself around Jane. There were times when Jane would catch her gaze and it almost seemed as if her eyes held a secret too. And there were times when she'd say things… like after they found the body of Tommy O'Rourke and she and Maura had spent the night at Jane's apartment talking.

"I know it was him!" Maura crossed her arms across her chest and stared angrily at Jane.

Jane smirked. "I thought you didn't jump to conclusions, Dr. Isles. I thought you needed evidentiary support to make any sort of statement of fact."

Maura scoffed. "It is a fact!" She took the glass of wine Jane held out to her. "There was an ice pick stuck through my baby photo and into my brother's killer's chest. That sends a pretty clear message in my mind about who is responsible." She took a sip of wine. "Who kills for somebody else?"

Jane sat down next to her, setting her beer bottle on the side table. "I would."

Maura nearly spit out her wine. "What?"

Jane nodded. "If it meant protecting someone I cared about, Frost, Korsak, Frankie, you… I would."

Maura was silent.

"You don't think you would?"

Maura shook her head. "There are very few situations that warrant the taking of another human being's life. I spend my days giving the dead a voice because no body else will listen to what they have to say. I speak for them because they can't speak for themselves. I'm not sure I could do that, take someone's life, unless it was absolutely necessary for survival. I'm not sure I could kill for someone I love, but I could die. I would die to save someone I love; I'd die to save you."

Jane looked up into Maura's eyes and saw a calmness and sincerity there that touched her and the words "I love you" almost slipped from her lips.

The conversation had switched to more pleasant topics after that and the opportunity was lost.

But Jane never forgot that night, or what Maura said.

-/-

A/N:: after this the story is going to be more dialouge and real time events. this was just necessary background. reviews?