So I'm a HUGE EClare/Degrassi fan...but I also love me some Glee. On the Glee season 2 finale Finn and Rachel sang a song called Pretending (if you haven't listened to the song do so...I even suggest listening to it while you read this). Anyway the song seems perfect for EClare...assuming that season 11 is going to happen the way I think it will. Also if you haven't guessed by now this is a songfic...Enjoy!
Clare's POV
Face to face and heart to heart
We're so close yet so far apart
I close my eyes, I look away
That's just because I'm not okay
Everything's falling apart. Jake seemed to notice that I'm still in love with Eli, and was just using him as a distraction, because he broke things off with me claiming it was better if we just stayed friends. Well at least the play will be a decent distraction. Yup that's right...Principal Simpson apparently doesn't care if it kills me to be near Eli now, not that it's not my own fault; I was the one who broke up with him. However fear makes you say really dumb things, for instance blaming the guy you love, who albeit has head problems, that he's manipulating you and you want to break up. So now working on this play with Eli is just a whole lot of silence that is slowly tearing away at the facade I've built up for myself.
But I hold on
I stay strong
Wondering if we still belong
But like any facade it takes work. Now I'll just have to work harder. I must sound so selfish, although yes I'm hanging by a thread trying to stay strong, poor Eli having to work with me. The girl he used to love, because let's face it I doubt he's still in love with me, but I guess he has every right to feel this way, I mean I am the girl who broke him...Me and his dead ex Julia. The only difference is, I actually had the choice to stay. I left. Wow for a person who take AP grade 11 classes I am really stupid sometimes.
Well there's no putting it off. Time to go direct a play with my ex whom I'm still in love with. Oh god he's looking at me, not that I mind in most cases but this look is different. It's a mixture of hurt and love. It's that look that makes me question whether or not he feels the same as me: We Belong.
Will we ever say the words we're feeling
Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls
Will we ever have our happy ending
Or will we forever only be pretending
Will we always, always, always be pretending
Dropping my things in the nearest seat and gathering my binder of notes for the play and a snack I take a seat next to Eli.
Eli: Hey, about time you got here, Adam was about to blow.
Playing along in the easy way we used to I roll my eyes. It's all a part of the facade we've built up, the outside seems normal like everything's okay, but inside, when Eli's putting on his own facade, it kills. I just wish that we could quit this whole pretending act we put on. Seriously we are so good at pretending that we could be on stage doing Adam and Fiona's job. Adam and Fiona two people who actually know how to communicate and say how they're really feeling. After they had a heart to heart, they made up, she apologized for using him for his body and he accepts that she's a lesbian. Well quite frankly I'm sick of pretending. I guess there's a reason Adam and Fi nicknamed us stubborner and subbornest. I know I caused this mess, but I want to fix it...make it right. Eli and I deserve to be happy, only question is...does he still want to be happy with me.
Eli: We should get started.
Me: Right. PLACES!
Eli's POV
How long do I fantasize
Make believe that it's still alive
Imagine that I am good enough
And we can choose the ones we love
Damn it Principal Simpson! I hate this. Working with Clare. Well not that I hate working with Clare, but I hate that she broke up with me and it kills me little by little everytime that I see her, nevermind having to spend time with her, and talking to her. If you can even call it talking, we sound like robots, monosyllabic robots. It's all stiff and not as comfortable as it used to be. Before I went crazy. Yet at the same time, I guess I'm grateful that Simpson is forcing us to still work on this play. I get to still pretend that everything's okay and that Clare's still in love with me, like I'm still in love with her. It's also times like this when she is right next to me concentrating on the words and gestures made by Fi and Adam that I get to pretend that I'm actually good enough for a girl like Clare. I guess that saying you can't help who you love is true.
But I hold on
I stay strong
Wondering if we still belong
But I am going to hold my ground on this one thing though. Clare has to come to me first. As much as I love her, I have to stay strong. Even if I think we still belong together, I need her to believe it just as much as I do. I can't risk getting hurt again. So while she's deciding, which the outcome probably doesn't work in my favor...I mean she broke up with me, I'm left wondering, dying on the inside, whether or not I'll get my Clare back.
Will we ever say the words we're feeling
Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls
Will we ever have our happy ending
Or will we forever only be pretending
Will we always, always, always be pretending
Clare: So I think we should talk to Adam and Fi.
Eli: Why, they're doing fine.
Clare: Sure they may have their lines and cues memorized, but they're facing each other.
Eli: And that's a problem...
Clare: They need to face the audience slightly so their voices project out, instead of just toward each other.
Eli: Oh.
Wow. That is the most we've said to each other since Simpson said we had to continue on with the play, no matter what was going on in our personal lives. Maybe she's going to finally cut the facade and talk to me; I mean REALLY talk to me. One can only hope I guess. I probably shouldn't let myself hope though, that always gets me hurt. This is probably all a part of her whole pretending act.
No One's POV
Keeping secrets safe
Every move we make
Seems like no one's letting go
And it's such a shame
'Cause if you feel the same
How am I suppose to know
Eli: AND CUT!
Clare: Okay guys that was great but let's take ten to do whatever, when you get back we'll give you some notes.
Some people exit the drama room, while others stay. Clare contemplates talking to Eli now, she figures ten minutes is enough to get out what she needs to say, actually more than enough. Very timidly Clare finally speaks up, before she loses nerve.
Clare: Um Eli..
Eli turns to Clare. He gives her the look, the one that mixes hurt and love.
Eli: Yeah.
Clare: Can we go somewhere...and talk, please.
Eli: Talk.
Clare: It's kind of personal.
Eli: Fine, let's go.
Eli and Clare head out of the drama room and into the nearest empty classroom. Ironically enough it's Mrs. Dawes' room, the room that started everything. On the outside Clare looks collected and calm, but inside she is more nervous than anything. Eli's in the same shape as Clare, with no idea as to where this conversation will go.
Eli: You wanted to talk so talk.
Clare starts to cry. She can't help it. So she manages to talk through sobs
Clare: I'm so so sorry Eli.
Eli: It's fine.
Clare: No it's not. I hurt you. And I wanted to forget that I hurt you, so I used Jake. He could tell though, one date and he cou-
Eli: I'm really trying here Clare. I forgive you but I really don't want to hear this.
Clare: Just listen okay.
Eli nodded
Clare: One date and he could tell that I didn't want him. I probably helped him reach that conclusion by turning my head when he went to kiss me. I couldn't do it. He wasn't right, I mean there was nothing there. It wasn't like with us. With Jake there may have been a spark, like an attraction but nothing that could hold out. But you and I, well there's always been something between us. And just so you know I understand if you don't feel the same anymore, or if you're afraid because I hurt you; I blew it, I messed up and hurt the best guy I had in my life, the best thing really. What I'm trying to get at though is that I'm sick of pretending that okay. I'm not, and I don't want to pretend anymore. I miss you Eli and I'm still in love with you! If we're being honest I never stopped loving you, I was just scared, not only that you crashed Morty, but because we're different, I figured I'd end it so neither of us would get hurt. And I'm sorry, for everything, for saying and doing things that hurt you.
Eli couldn't take seeing Clare this shaken up anymore. He knew that from the moment she said she was sorry that he would take her back. But she wanted to explain so he let her. Eli pulled Clare in.
Eli: Shhhh. It's okay, I'm right here. And just so you know I love you to Edwards.
Clare pulled away slightly to look at Eli.
Clare: So does this mean tha-
Before Clare could finish Eli closed the distance, kissing Clare deeply. When they broke apart Clare spoke.
Clare: I really did miss you
Eli: You have no idea Edwards. And as much as I would love to stay here with you we have a play to direct, and there's still five minutes left of the break
The newly reunited couple walked hand and hand back to the drama room. For the people inside the drama room they could tell something good had happened between their co-directors. Eli and Clare headed back to their seats and Clare snuggled into Eli.
Will we ever say the words we're feeling
Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls
Will we ever have our happy ending
Or will we forever only be pretending
Will we always, always, always be pretending
There was one minute until Eli and Clare had to give their notes to the actors. That's when Fiona and Adam came bursting through the drama room.
Fi: Oh my god Adam, look at that!
She said pointing toward their snuggling friends. Adam looked toward where Fiona was pointing, and a huge grin broke out on his face. Adam and Fiona made their way over to Eli and Clare, almost not wanting to ruin the moment...almost.
Adam: Well, well, well do my eyes deceive me?
Fi: I don't know Adam if you're seeing stubborner and stubbornest looking like they're back together then maybe my eyes are deceiving me as well.
Eli: Can it guys!
Clare: And yes we're back together.
Adam: BooYah!
Fi: Seriously though YAY!
Well one thing's for sure the foursome thought, there will be no more pretending between Eli and Clare.
So hope you guys liked it. Reviews are fun for me to read so feel free to do so! :)