Tash sat in the waiting room of the doctors. It wasn't anything serious, just a regular check up. This was the time when she needed Kirstie, when she missed Kirstie. A lot of the time she felt guilty because she didn't have the time to think about her, she was too busy at the hospital. She was progressing quickly, consultant now.

The first month after Kirstie left was awful. Every time the door opened she had to check if it was Kirstie come back to be with her, every time the phone rang she would pick it up hoping that it was Kirstie. It never was. Every Collins that came up to the ward, she had to remind herself to keep breathing. She was scared for Kirstie. She was scared for herself, what would she do without her?

Kirstie sat in the dentist's waiting room. She hated coming. It was the noise of the drill, it when right through her. This was when she needed Tash. Just someone to hold her hand and tell her she was going to be all right.

Kirstie knew she'd blown it. Tash didn't want her, Holby held nothing for her without Tash. She'd moved very quickly after leaving Holby City Hospital. She'd thought about staying but she couldn't face any more rejection. Not just from Tash, from everyone and everything.

She stayed with her sister for a while but they'd never got on to start with and living together was impossible. It had lasted just three weeks. During those three weeks she'd stood outside Tash's flat. Deliberately doing it when she knew Tash was on shift. She couldn't face her, not back then anyway.

She'd moved up to Halifax a few weeks after that. She didn't know where to go at first. London was an option she's discounted because it was too big for her to be alone in. She also considered Scotland, no too far away. She wanted somewhere that was small enough for her to fit in but big enough for her to blend in.

In the end she'd got the England A to Z out and flipped it open. Wherever it opened was where she moved to. Halifax it was.

"Miss Bandara" the receptionist called. "Dr Collins will see you now."

Tash's heart skipped a beat. Could it be? She practically ran down the corridor and knocked on the door. She went in, her heart in her mouth. Could it be Kirstie?

She went in, looking at the young doctor, the young blonde doctor. Her heart sank and her face dropped.

"Is everything all right Miss Bandara?" she'd obviously noticed.

"What? Oh yes, yes. Fine, thank you." She replied despondently.

"Just a regular check up?"

"Yes. My annual medical, I'm a surgeon." She told the doctor. She knew what she was doing and didn't want to stay a minute longer than was strictly necessary.

"Ah right, well do you have any obvious health problems?"

Tash sat back in the chair, full of disappointment. I'm nursing a broken heart, how's that sound? "No, nothing I can think of."

The doctor smiled at her, "Well, I'll check you over then I've got a few general questions for you, ok?"

"Fine, whatever."

The chair slowly fell backwards. Instinctively Kirstie opened her mouth. She gripped the arms of the chair. This was the part she hated. Mr Randall's smarmy grin peered over at her. She squeezed her eyes tight shut and thought of happy times.

She remembered the first day of medical school, she'd seen Tash that very first day. She sat next to her one day and they got talking. She never in a million years thought someone like Tash would be interested in her. But, two years later they were closer than she could've ever dreamed.

Two years after that the pressure was starting to get to them both but neither wanted to be the one to let go.

"Miss Collins, you need a filling or two."

"Fine, whatever." Kirstie mumbled through a mouth full of dentist's hand.

Forty minutes later Kirstie walked out of Clare Hall Dentists clutching her mouth. Clearly when the dentist had said a filling he also meant removing a couple of teeth as well. This is when I need someone to hold my hand and tell me it'll all be fine. Kiss it better, she thought. But she didn't need someone, she needed Tash.

Tash walked out of the surgery. What a let down. Medical, she hated them. They were pointless, she was in perfect health and could've done a much better job than that useless GP. Well, perfect health apart from the newly acquired bruises slowly forming from all the poking Dr Collins had done.

And in her personal life as well. General questions, I think not! "How many sexual partners in the last 3 years?" What sort of a question is that for a medical? The answer was easy, one.

"Kirstie" she sighed softly. Everyday since Tuesday 30th of November 2000 she'd thought about the day they would be reunited. The day they would fall back into each other's arms. The day that would make the past 623 days seem worth it.

She got into her small green car. The colour reminded her of Kirstie but it wasn't obvious to everyone around her. She couldn't abide people asking about her private life. She didn't want to make the ulterior motive for buying the car obvious.

Turning the keys, the radio came on. Dance music during the day, she couldn't stand it. Shoving a tape entitled "Kirstie" into the deck she settled into the short drive home.

Because of the appointment she didn't have to be in work until 8:30 the following morning. Pulling up to her road she flicked the tape out. She knew what was coming next, she just couldn't bear to listen to it.

Kirstie got out of the car humming the tune the had just filled the car on the drive home. She loved that tape, it was her "Tash" tape. They had put all their favourite CDs together one evening in medical school. Kirstie had made a tape of those songs. She'd made a copy for Tash as well, but it had been thrown back at her when they split.

"Words" by Boyzone was their song. Kirstie permanently had it playing in the car. She hoped Tash remember as well but thought it highly improbable. She knew the words off by heart, backwards and upside down. They were so fitting, they suited her relationship whatever way you looked at it. She'd never been very good showing what she felt. She needed to say it.

She walked up the small path to her front door. She loved this house. It was just the type Tash would like. She threw her bag down at the bottom of the stairs and hung her coat up. She sat down at the breakfast bar in her kitchen. Reaching for a half empty No lets be positive half full bottle of wine and a glass she switched on the television. Pouring herself a glass she realised she only drank wine because Tash does, did.

She settled down with her wine and doritos to watch ER. She only watched it because Tash had done but it reminded her of good times. She had to carry on watching it, for her memories sake.

Tash sat in front of the TV with a glass of wine contemplating the love lives of Abby and Carter in ER. She only watched it because she thought Kirstie did. She wanted a lasting reminder of her, and this was it. A stupid TV programme.

One hour later Tash felt thoroughly depressed and alone. It was worse than Eastenders. How come other people's lives are so good and hers was going down the drain?

She picked up the wine, a 1980 Bordeaux. No doubt one that Kirstie had picked. Awful, she hated the taste of red wine and rarely drunk it now, but Kirstie had liked an odd glass so she'd put up with it. She downed the glass and picked up her mobile phone. It's now or never.

Kirstie turned the television off.

"Eurgh" she told the remote. "That was awful!" So soppy, she didn't know why she even watched it anymore. Yes she did. She picked up her filo-fax and flicked through the address pages.

Her fingers shook as she dialled the number.

Holding the phone to her ear she listened to the dial tone sending her request. She lowered the receiver, she couldn't do it. Yes, you can! You can do it.

"Shit, engaged!"

Two people unwittingly spoke in unison. They were close even if they were miles apart.

"I'll try again later." Tash told Kirstie's answer phone.

"Hope to hear from you soon." Kirstie told Tash's.