A/N: Little oneshot. I'm a tad bored, but I decided I should write something. I've always been intrigued at Hanabi's personality (yeah, two lines in the whole damn series, THAT'S gotta be exciting) but I like to see her as a protective, fierce girl. Yeah, I'll shut up now. Go read. AND REVIEWS please. No flames, remember, I'm bored and have serious writer's block.

RINGRINGRING

"Hello?"

"Uh, Hinata?"

"More like Hanabi, moron. What do you want?"

"Can I like, talk to your sister for a sec?"

"Yes, sure!"

"Really?"

"No."

"C'mon, Hanabi. Don't be such a bitch."

"Oh, OK, then, if you put it that way. I'll give her the phone, sure thing! Golly gee, how about I also go over to your place and kiss your ass while I'm at it?"

"Look, it's important, I really do need to talk to her-"

"Do I sound like I care in the least?"

"Why do you even bother? You obviously don't want to talk to me."

"Because, Naruto. Because I'm cruel, evil and I'm a Hyuga. And there was that one other thing…"

"Neh?"

"I hate you like there's no goddamn tomorrow and I fantasize about your death on a regular basis. I hope Hinata dumps your sorry ass on the street and you die a slow, painful death."

"…Love you too."

"So tell, me, what did you think of Hinata's outfit the other day? You know, she was wearing a color other than purple for once? Some bitch pressured her into wearing it. Shameful, really."

"Oh yeah, I know, the outfit was terrible. Who ever put it together must be a freaking retard. Everyone was staring at us, it was so embarrassing."

"That shameless bitch who pressured her was me."

"I know, and like I said earlier, absolutely stunning ensemble, impeccable taste…"

"So what fashion mag are you reading that line from?"

"T-teen Vogue."

"…You have copies? Even Ino doesn't read that."

"Would you just shut up and hand the phone to Hinata already?"

"Yeah, sure. So tell me, have you guys done anything yet?"

"…Excuse me?"

"Well, I mean, it's supposed to happen at some point. Wait…don't tell me, you're still a virgin? Is that why it hasn't happened yet?"

"…I didn't even answ-"

"Oh my kami, Naruto, I had no idea you were such a wimp. Even Lee got laid at some point. Hell, even I've been laid and that's saying something."

"Thanks for making my self-esteem burst through the roof. Careful now, it might go into outer space."

"..Loser. Anyway, do you think you'd be any good in bed, Naruto?"

"Well, I don't think I'd be horrific or anything…"

"Are you implying you've masturbated, Naruto?"

"Where the hell did that come from?!"

"Since you haven't been laid yet, and don't give me any shit about it because you haven't denied it yet, you'd obviously have to try it on yourself first, am I right?"

"K, I think I'm gonna hang up now."

"You know you won't. I have too much info now. Hinata can dump you whenever she wants now."

"She wouldn't. She's too sweet for that. Besides, I bet Hinata still has her virginity…?"

"…god, you really are stupider than you look. She got laid years ago."

"W-what?! By who?"

"Kiba. Drunk at a party. Didn't really talk about it after. Although, considering you two have been dating for a year, I wouldn't be surprised if she went back to him for some fun. I mean, after that first time, she was sore for a month."

"OK, I'm just a lot freaked out now."

"That's OK. Hinata and I are sisters, we tell each other everything. Well, more like she tells me everything. Very interesting, you know."

"OK, whatever. If I can't hang up, what do you suggest I do?"

"It's pretty damn obvious. Go and do something disgusting in a bedroom with her. Not even a bedroom, I mean, she and Kiba did it in an alley the first time…"

"Wait, the first time? This has happened more than once?"

"Hell, yeah. I did say she was sore for a month, but that doesn't mean she didn't enjoy it. I'm almost certain they got back together several times after that. But I mean, I don't have raw proof or anything, so…yeah."

"OK, besides me needing to beat Kiba to a twitching, bloody pulp later, can I please talk to Hinata now?"

"Not really."

"K, I've had enough. Hanging up…now."

"Whatever, Naruto. Guess I'll be seeing you at the wedding, then?"

"Yeah, sur-wait, WHAT?"

Click!

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed that. Please also take a look at my other story, The Fork in the Road. Reviews please! Thank ya! :)