A/N: I am on such a roll lately... I can't stop writing! Anyway, this is just a silly little C/B one-shot that takes place sometime around the "Kitchen Casanova" episode. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I am not in any way affiliated with the Suite Life series and am making no profit from the writing of this story.


Bailey sank down onto one of the stools at the juice bar. "Hey Zack, I need a large Banana Fofana. And keep 'em comin'."

"Oh boy." Zack said, sliding her drink to her and watching her drain it in a few long gulps. "What's wrong?"

"What makes you think something is wrong?" Bailey said sourly, sliding her empty cup back to him. "Hit me."

Zack refilled the cup. "It's a little early in the day to be hitting the smoothies, isn't it?"

"Don't judge me." Bailey snapped, taking a long swig of her second smoothie. "I'm about to fail my first class."

"Ooh... I remember the day I failed my first class." Zack said sympathetically, patting her wrist. "It gets easier after a while."

"You mean the shame and the humiliation go away?" Bailey asked, staring into the yellow depths of her smoothie.

"No, I mean it gets easier to fail a class. They get harder as you get older, you know."

"Zack!" she cried. "I've never failed anything in my life! What am I going to do?!"

"Calm down, calm down." Zack placated gently, setting a third Banana Fofana in front of her. "Now drink this one through a straw, your smoothie chugging is freaking me out. And breathe! In, out. In, out."

Bailey obeyed, taking a few deep breaths and sipping her drink. "Okay. Sorry Zack."

"It's okay." Zack said, leaning on the bar. "Now tell Zack what's wrong. Is it world history? Geometry?"

"Home ec." Bailey said miserably.

"Home ec?!" he repeated incredulously. "You mean cooking class?"

"Yes."

"But isn't Cody-"

"Yes." Bailey grumbled.

"How can you be failing home ec... when you're dating the teacher?"

Bailey folded her arms. "I keep getting demerits for fighting with the other students. Like it's my fault the other girls can't keep their hands off Cody."

"Seriously?" Zack's eyes bugged out.

Bailey continued, "Now the only chance I have to pass the class is to get an A on my final project- a peach cobbler. I've had Cody's peach cobbler. I'll never be able to make one good enough for him!"

"That's all?" Zack said, shaking his hair out of his face. "Hey, no sweat. I can make peach cobbler. I'll help you learn."

"You can make peach cobbler?" Bailey seemed skeptical.

"I have lived with Cody my entire life. I did pick up a few things." Zack reminded her.

"And you're offering to tutor me?" Bailey clarified.

"Sure, Bailey. I'll be your tutor." he answered. "Man that felt weird to say."

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you Zack!" Bailey cried, hugging him over the counter. Then she pulled back, eying him doubtfully. "So...Wait... what's in it for you?"

"Uh, peach cobbler?" Zack deadpanned. "Come on, it'll be fun."

She nodded, smiling reluctantly. "Maybe you're right. Okay. Just... Don't tell Cody." Bailey said pleadingly. "I don't want him to know what he's driven me to."

"What he's driven you to? Hey!" Zack pretended to be insulted. Then he winked. "Relax, no one ever has to know. It'll be our secret."

Woody came up and joined them at the counter. "Hey Bailey. Zack. One Four-Berry Blast, my good man. What are you guys talking about?"

"Uh, nothing." Bailey said, blushing. Like she was going to admit to Woody that he was actually getting a better grade than her in home economics.

Zack returned with Woody's smoothie and handed it to him. "Hey, meet me in the home ec classroom after I get off work. We'll do it then." he said to Bailey.

"Great." Bailey smiled at him. "See you then." She slid her empty cup towards him and skipped off.

Woody looked after her, his eyes narrowing as they flickered from her to Zack.

"Uh... Woody? Why are you doing that with your eyes?"

Woody jumped. "Ah... no reason Zack gotta go bye!" He hopped off the stool and slowly edged off the deck.

"That was weird even for Woody."


Bailey was already getting supplies together when Zack walked into the classroom. "How's this for a start?" she said, gesturing to the spread of flour, sugar, salt, butter, and eggs.

"Good." Zack said, seating himself on a stool and handing her a bowl. "Step one: mix all the dry stuff."

Frowning with concentration, Bailey measured out the flour, sugar, and salt and dumped them into the bowl, mixing them together with a wooden spoon. "It's hard to tell, but I think it's mixed."

"Then add the butter and stir it until it gets crumbly." Zack instructed. He relaxed back against the table behind him.

Bailey obeyed, grunting with the effort of stirring the moist mixture. "Ugh, geez this is taking a long time. You want to start on the eggs a while?"

"Nope." Zack grinned. "This is all you Bailey, I'm just here to oversee. And eat."

"Fine." Bailey groaned. She finished with the mixture. "Now what?"

Zack pushed a smaller bowl towards her. "Put the eggs and the water in here, and... where's that princess wand?"

Bailey laughed, remembering how Cody had also referred to the whisk as a "fairy princess wand." "Here." she said, producing one from the drawer. "Hey, can you crack an egg one-handed?" she asked him.

"Sure," Zack shrugged. He took one of the eggs from her and cracked it into the bowl.

She peered in and saw pieces of eggshell floating in the mixture. "Uh, I meant can you crack an egg one-handed without getting the shells in the food?"

"'Zack, we don't eat the eggshells.' You sound like Cody." Zack said, rolling his eyes. "A little eggshell never hurt anybody."

"It's going to hurt my grade if Cody sees it." Bailey pointed out.

"Relax, this is just a practice cobbler." Zack reminded her, watching her try to fish out the pieces with a fork. "By the way, if you do happen to get shells into your real cobbler, Cody would say to scoop them out with the rest of the eggshell, not a fork. It's easier that way."

Bailey tried it and found he was right. "Wow, Zack! And Cody thinks you never listen to him."

Zack mock glared at her. "Your lack of faith cuts me deep." He reached over to preset the oven to 375 degrees. "See, presetting. I'm even thinking ahead."

She finished whisking the eggs and water and poured them over the flour mixture. Taking up the wooden spoon, she began to mix them in gently.

Zack shook his head. "No no no. Now's no time to be a lady, Bailey. Use your hands! Get dirty!"

"Okay..." Bailey tentatively reached a hand into the slimy dough.

Zack rolled his eyes. "Like this." he said, standing. He reached his arms around from behind her and pressed his hands into the dough, kneading it roughly. Bailey laughed as she put her other hand into the large bowl and helped.

Neither of them saw Woody peer around the door frame with wide eyes, then tear off running down the corridor.


When Woody found Cody he was standing outside the movie theater, surrounded by a group of girls from their home ec class. "Cody!" he puffed, pushing through the crowd to stand beside him.

Cody put a hand on his friend's shoulder to steady him. "Whoa, Woody. What's going on? You look like you just ran a marathon."

Beside him, Reina wrinkled her nose. "You smell like you just ran a marathon."

"Cody... I've been running... all over the ship... looking for you... we need... to talk..." Woody panted.

"Okay... what is it?" Cody asked, concerned.

"In private?" Woody said, starting to catch his breath. Taking Cody by the arm, he dragged him around the corner, away from his adoring students. He placed a sweaty, sympathetic hand on Cody's shoulder. "I have some bad news, buddy. Zack's cheating on you. With Bailey."

"Don't you mean, Bailey's cheating on me with Zack?" Cody corrected automatically, before realizing what he'd just said. "Wait, Bailey's cheating on me with Zack?!"

Woody nodded. "I hate to be the one to have to tell you, but I heard them talking about it. At the juice bar today, they were hugging, and I heard Bailey say she didn't want you to find out about something, and then Zack winked and said it would be their little secret, and they made plans to meet up in secret after his shift, and when I asked what they were up to Bailey blushed and wouldn't tell me!" he spilled out in one long breath.

Cody held up a hand. "No. No, you must have misunderstood. Bailey would never do that to me. And Zack... ehhh... no, Zack wouldn't either. Probably. No, he wouldn't." he finally decided. "You must have heard them wrong."

Woody nodded again. "That's what I thought too. I mean, Bailey and Zack? No way, right? I didn't want to alarm you for no reason, so to make sure, I followed them after Zack's shift." His tone was deadly serious.

An unsure expression formed on Cody's face. "You did?"

"It's bad, buddy." Woody said sadly. "They went into an empty classroom. I heard them talking, but I couldn't tell what they were saying at first, so I peeked in and I heard Zack telling Bailey to..." he looked around and lowered his voice. "to get dirty." he hissed.

Cody looked shocked.

"When I looked in, he was putting his arms around her." Woody finished morosely. "That's when I decided I had to come find you."

Cody raised a hand to his face. "I... I don't believe it." he said slowly. "My own brother. And... and... Bailey."

Woody slung an arm around his shoulders. "I am so sorry."

Cody nodded numbly. "I've gotta go confront them. Where are they now?"

"Uh, the home ec room." Woody said reluctantly.

"In my own classroom!" Cody fumed in disbelief. Grabbing Woody by the arm, he yanked him down the hall.

"Whoa, whoa, wait, I'm not coming!" Woody yelped.

Cody stopped. "Why not?"

"If Zack finds out I ratted out him and Bailey, he'll wedgie me so hard I'll forget my own name!" Woody cried in terror.

Cody squared his jaw and let go of his friend. "All right." he said bravely. "I'll do it myself."


"How are you doing over there?" Bailey asked, dropping her newly-sliced peach into the bowl.

"Just peachy." Zack quipped, stripping the fuzzy skin off another peach.

"I forgot how much work peeling and slicing all these peaches are." Bailey said, picking up another.

"Yeah... it's the pits."

Bailey groaned. "Enough with the awful peach puns. Thank goodness we're almost done."

"Yeah, we just have to sugar the peaches, simmer them on the stove, form the crust once the dough is finished chilling, and pour it in." Zack listed off. "It's a shame we couldn't chill while the dough is chilling." he complained.

"I think you need to chill." Bailey laughed. "Here." she grabbed a peach slice and dipped it into their mixture of sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and cornstarch, then dropped it into Zack's open mouth. "How is it?"

"Mmm." Zack said, chewing it slowly. "Sweet. Here, you try one."

She opened up for Zack to feed her another slice of sugared peach. "Yum!"

"Okay, that's enough of that!" Cody burst out, causing both Bailey and Zack to jump in surprise.

"Dude... how long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to see what's going on here!" Cody spat, moving in from the doorway. "I can't believe this! Bailey, how could you? And Zack! Don't even get me started on you!"

"What?" Confused, Bailey wiped her sticky hands on her apron. She scowled as Zack, not wearing an apron of his own, did the same thing.

"Right in front of me!" Cody howled. "How dare you wipe your hands on my girlfriend!"

"Whoa, Cody, calm down there, sport." Zack said slowly, holding up his hands in a nonthreatening gesture.

"I won't calm down, you... you...!" He sputtered wildly as Bailey stepped forward and put a gentle hand on Cody's shoulder. "Don't touch me!" he snapped.

Bailey wrenched her hand away, hurt. "Fine, Cody. If you're done storming in here and screaming at us for no reason, please leave. We're busy." she said coolly. "Come on, Zack. Let's get back to work."

"Work!" Cody repeated snidely. "Right. Work. Like I can't see what the two of you are doing! Like I can't see that you're..." he trailed off, calming down enough to take in the state of the room, the table, and Bailey and Zack for the first time. "...baking... together."

Bailey was the first to catch on. "You thought there was something going on between me and Zack?" she said incredulously.

"Hey, why do you gotta say my name like that?" Zack complained, insulted. "It's not like there couldn't be something going on between us."

Both Bailey and Cody glared at him.

"-but of course there's not." he amended quickly.

Cody visibly deflated. "I'm sorry guys. I trust you both and I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions, it's just that you guys looked so cozy in here, cooking together, and Woody-" he buried his face in one hand. "Why do I listen to Woody?" he mumbled to himself.

"You should be sorry." Bailey said in a hard voice, folding her arms. "Because however cozy Zack and I looked, that's how cozy you've been with every girl in our home ec class for weeks."

Cody looked stunned. "I have?"

"He has?" Zack said disbelievingly, at the same time.

"Yes!" Bailey said miserably.

Cody shook his head. "I'm so sorry, Bailey. I never realized how it must look to you... I guess that explains all the fights you got into..." he said ruefully. "You know you're the only girl for me, right?"

Bailey smiled, nodding, and moved into his arms for a hug. "And you know I would never, ever mess around with your brother, Cody." she squeezed him tightly.

Zack rolled his eyes. "Still right here."

"Well, you can leave now." Cody not-so-subtly hinted at him, not taking his eyes from Bailey's face.

"Actually, bro, I was just teaching her how to make a cobbler so she wouldn't fail your class." Zack said with an infuriating smirk. "And we're not done."

Cody looked at their half-finished peach filling skeptically. "I can only imagine how this thing is going to turn out." he shuddered.

Bailey elbowed her boyfriend gently. "Hey now, Zack's been very helpful. Thanks, Zack."

Cody wrapped his arm around her waist. "Be that as it may, I think we can take it alone from here." he said pointedly to Zack.

Zack shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets, heading for the door. When he reached it he turned around. "Isn't it cheating if the teacher helps?" he asked them cheekily.

Cody shook his head with a grin. "It's called private instruction."

Bailey blushed and giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Ick." Zack groaned, walking out the door as she pulled Cody in for a kiss. "Isn't it cheating if you make out with the teacher?!" he called back at them. He walked away, rolling his eyes as he heard his brother and Bailey laughing behind him.


A/N: Sadly, that's not even my only "Kitchen Casanova" oneshot- look for another one sometime soon! And don't forget to leave a review telling me what you thought! Thanks for reading!