Word Count: 3585

For Lo. This is your fault

i.

"You know," Seamus says, unable to hide the irritation from his voice, "I'm actually perfectly fine."

Judging by the way Dean purses his lips and raises his brows skeptically, Seamus assumes his best friend doesn't believe him. It only makes him more annoyed, but Seamus decides not to argue. If Dean wants to doubt him, that isn't Seamus' problem.

"I know," Dean says softly, resting a strong hand on Seamus' shoulder. "I'm not suggesting this because I think there's something wrong with you. I just want you to be happy, and I think a date would be good for you."

Seamus scowls. He doesn't know why it bothers him so much. Isn't there some part of him that is jealous of what Dean has with Piers? Hasn't he sometimes wondered what it would be like to have that? Besides, when he had come out to his mum and stepdad, it hadn't been pretty. His mum had cried and screamed that she's a failure, that it's all her fault Seamus turned out wrong. His bastard of a stepfather had declared he wouldn't have a poof living under his roof and had tossed Seamus out with nothing more than the clothes on his back and a black eye and busted lip. Part of him wants a boyfriend just to spite them, to say look at me, being happy even after you tried to break me.

"I don't even know where to begin," Seamus mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing heavily.

There are places that are safe havens for queer witches and wizards, but Seamus can't bring himself to go to them. That would be mean being seen, and being seen means having to acknowledge something he's still coming to terms with. Yes, he knows he's bisexual with a preference for men, but he isn't like Dean. Dean is gay and doesn't care if everyone knows it. Seamus wonders if he'll ever reach that point.

"Lucky you have me," Dean says, offering Seamus a pearly white grin. "I know just the bloke for you."

Seamus gestures for Dean to go on. It's clear his friend has been plotting this out for some time now.

"Piers has a friend," Dean continues. "His name is Dudley. Actually, he's Harry Potter's cousin."

Seamus shakes his head in disbelief. He remembers hearing rumors about Harry's Muggle relatives while at Hogwarts. From what he's gathered, they aren't the most pleasant people in the world. He doesn't know why Dean would want to set him up with someone like that.

"He's changed," Dean says, as though he can read Seamus' mind. "I know he used to be… well, I don't know. I didn't know him back then. But he says he met a Dementor when he was fifteen, and it changed his life."

It doesn't really sound plausible. Muggles can't even see Dementors. Still, he's curious, and, despite everything, he trusts Dean's judgement. "Okay," he says with a shrug. "I'll give him a chance."

…

"You just happened to find me a date?" Dudley asks.

Piers smiles, and Dudley can see the guilt in that smile. He isn't surprised. Piers has always done his own thing without bothering to check in with Dudley. It doesn't matter, though. At the end of the day, Piers has always been the brains of their operation. Dudley would trust his judgment over anything.

"Dean and I might have been planning this," he admits, pushing a hand through his dark hair.

Dudley raises his brows. "For how long?"

Piers' pale cheeks glow with a soft pink blush. He clears his throat and rubs his palm over the back of his neck. "A month."

A month? Dudley almost laughs. That seems like such a long time. Maybe he shouldn't be surprised. Piers is the type to make sure his friends are happy.

"Tell me about him."

And Piers does.

Seamus. Dudley likes the name. It's not one he hears often, though he vaguely remembers meeting a bloke in a pub with that name once. He's a wizard, just like Dean and Harry and those loud, strange people with red hair who adopted his cousin into their large family.

Maybe there's a part of Dudley that still screams run at that, but it's become more of a whisper. He can't help the way he was raised. Those tendrils of hatred and prejudice still sneak up on him, but Dudley has learned to overcome them. He isn't the asshole teenager he had been once.

"What's he like?"

Piers shrugs. "Dunno. I've only met him a few times. Nothing fancy. Just a few beers with him and Dean. But he seems nice."

Dudley resists the urge to scoff. Nice is a word that's only ever used to describe someone who is unfortunate-looking. Still, he doesn't ask. It isn't like he's in a position to be picky. He's been single for far too long, and maybe a date is exactly what he needs.

"Fine. I'll do it."

Piers rolls his eyes and gently nudges Dudley with his bony elbow. "Gee. Way to sound excited," he teases.

Except Dudley is definitely excited, but he's scared to show it. If he gets his hopes up and ends up disappointing himself, he doesn't think he'll be able to take it.

He's changed over the years. His puppy fat finally gave way to muscle, and his extensive boxing sessions have kept him in shape. Still, he remembers being the butt of every fat joke, and he can't help but to worry. Would it be impertinent to cancel the day before it's even been set up?

Piers pulls a pen from his pocket and finds a bit of scrap paper. He scribbles down an address and pushes it toward Dudley. "This is the restaurant," he says. "You have a date tomorrow at five."

Dudley purses his lips, fighting a laugh. "You two knuckleheads already set everything up?" he asks in disbelief.

Piers smirks, triumph clear in the shift of his lips. "I know you," he says, shrugging. "You're the type that will keep putting it off. You'll say you'll set something up, but you never will."

Dudley hates how true it is. His own insecurities keep him from doing so much. He could have gone on a date with a bloke from a technology company, but his demons kept him from it. Even now, he wonders what would happen if he agreed to the date but chose not to show up.

Of course, he can't do that. He would be miserable if someone stood him up. Why would he put someone else through that?

He glances down at the address and nods. "I know this place. Not the most romantic first date."

"The romance is all about what you do," Piers points out, chuckling softly, "not where you go."

Dudley folds the paper neatly and tucks it into his shirt pocket. It feels so strange to think about, but he has a date. Now he just has to figure out how not to screw it up.

ii.

Seamus hates the fact that he's so nervous. It isn't the first date he's been on, just his first date with a bloke. He's afraid the fact that Dudley is a Muggle just makes it worse. Seamus knows how difficult it was for his own father to discover his mother was a witch.

He swallows dryly and forces those thoughts from his head. This is only their first date. It's not like he needs to tell Dudley all about his life as a pyromaniac wizard.

"Seamus?"

He looks up and his heart flutters. He vaguely remembers seeing the blond man at the train station once, though he had been much bigger in his youth. It looks like Dudley has become quite handsome.

"Are you Seamus?"

"Er… Yeah." His cheeks burn; he could kick himself for being so ridiculously awkward. "Yeah, I am. You must be Dudley."

Dudley nods his confirmation and offers Seamus a nervous smile. Good. At least he isn't all cool and calm either. It makes Seamus feel less alone, like they're both in this together and stumbling true. "Have you ever been here?"

Seamus shakes his head. "I don't eat out much," he answers. "I prefer cooking."

"Maybe you can cook me something one day."

Seamus tells himself not to get his hopes up. This is only their first date, and pretty much anything and everything can go wrong. He mutters a possible agreement under his breath and hopes for the best.

Dudley gestures for him to follow before leading the way inside. Seamus takes a deep breath. His nerves are still driving him crazy, but he thinks that maybe he can get through this. Head head high, he hurries after Dudley, entering the little pub.

"They have good chips," Dudley tells him as he slides into a booth.

Seamus sits across from him, nodding. The two sit in an awkward silence, listening to the hustle and bustle of the pub, the music drifting through the air from the speakers, and jumbled sound of others talking. Seamus doesn't know what to say, and it seems like Dudley is just as uncertain.

The waitress takes their orders, and that seems to break the ice.

"I don't like tomatoes either," Dudley tells him.

Seamus shrugs. "I don't mind them, but they don't belong on a cheeseburger."

Dudley tells him about when he was fourteen. His Muggle school decided he was too big and implemented a diet that extended to his home. He's been hesitant around salad vegetables ever since.

When he finishes the story, Dudley blushes a deep red, and Seamus realizes how vulnerable he's allowed himself to be. There's a look of horror in Dudley's eyes. That isn't a story he likes to tell; Seamus wonders if he's mentally beating himself up for mentioning it.

"I don't blame you," Seamus says softly. "I think I would hate something being forced on me, but I've always been a bit contrary. If you tell me to do something, I'm probably not going to do it. Well… There are exceptions, but…"

Too late, he realizes he's rambling. Seamus laughs and buries his face in his hands. "Merlin! I am a bloody idiot."

Dudley chuckles. "I'm guessing you don't go on many dates either," he says.

Before Seamus can answer, she brings their plates. Seamus licks his lips, eager to bite into the juicy cheeseburger. Dudley grabs a chip and pops it into his mouth, chew happily.

Somehow, that's all it takes. They're no longer two strangers, panicking and so desperate to figure out what to do next. They are two men on a date, and things feel natural and maybe they can do this.

"You're right," Seamus says, swallowing down the mouthful of chips. "Best chips I've ever had."

Dudley just grins. "Told you so."

…

It's stupid how much Dudley likes Seamus already. Though he usually doesn't do well with the whole meeting new people thing, talking to Seamus is so easy to talk to, and it all feels so natural. When the waitress brings them their check, he isn't ready for the date to end.

"There's a place up the road," he says. "Maybe we could get dessert and walk around a bit?"

Seamus doesn't look up from his wallet; he seems to be struggling with understanding bills. Dudley remembers those weird coins Harry would keep. It's weird to think that wizards really are so different from others.

"Dessert sounds good," Seamus says, setting the money on the table.

It's not quite enough, but Dudley doesn't want to embarrass him. When Seamus isn't paying attention, Dudley sets a fiver down and climbs to his feet. "Right. Let's go."

It's amazing how quickly everything has changed. Just hours before, he had been panicking on the phone with Piers, so worried that maybe this is a mistake and what if they shouldn't do this. Everything could go wrong. Maybe he should just stay home.

Now, he's glad to be out and enjoying himself. Even better, as they make their way along, Seamus takes his hand. It feels so right, and Dudley ignores his fear. If anyone wants to start trouble because two men are holding hands, Dudley will happily fight them.

They reach the frozen yogurt shop and get two cups to go. Seamus reaches for his wallet, but Dudley stops him. "I've got it."

And then they're back on the street, enjoying the frozen sweet treat and walking in the moonlight. All fear and nerves have fallen away, and Dudley can't remember ever feeling so happy.

"I was terrified to come tonight," he admits as they pass by the docks.

"So was I."

Dudley nods, smiling to himself. He thinks that it's helped to know Seamus has been just as nervous. They're both trying to figure things out, and it gives him a strange sense of unity and connection. At least he isn't alone.

"You know I'm a wizard, right?" Seamus asks. "I know Harry's your cousin, so you know about it. But…"

There it is. The confession should terrify him. He's spent most of his life being taught that different is bad and abnormalities are to be feared. Truth be told, there's still a part of him that thinks maybe he should reconsider. What would his parents say if they knew?

Then again, his parents would consider him abnormal too. As long as he can remember, they would plan out his future and tell him all about how he would meet a beautiful girl, get married, and give them lots of grandkids. Their expectations had made it even more difficult to come to terms with his sexuality. Being gay is one of those things that's just unheard of in the Dursley household.

"Sorry," Seamus mutters, and the way his expression falls breaks Dudley's heart. "Didn't mean to freak you out."

"You didn't." Dudley offers him a shaky smile. "I promise."

He takes a deep breath, unsure how to explain it. What sort of upbringing did Seamus have? Will he understand why Dudley still tries so hard to accept everything?

He tries his best. As he explains his parents and what life at Privet Drive was like, he wants to melt. He knows his mum and dad are good people, but everything sounds so terrible. Still, Seamus listens and seems to empathize.

"My dad didn't like magic very much," Seamus explains, frowning. In the moonlight, Dudley can see a blush creep into Seamus' pale cheeks. "He… Well, I was just a boy when he left. Decided my mum was too much for him, and he didn't want a kid who was a freak."

Freak. He flinches at the word. It had been so easy to brand Harry a freak, to follow what his parents said and learn to hate his cousin. He's grown past that, and now the word sours his stomach. The shame pulls him down.

"I used to be like that," he admits. "I thought being normal was the best thing in the world, and anyone who went against the flow was asking for trouble." He stares down at the ground, awkwardly shuffling his feet. "But I grew up. If you told me you were a wizard when I was a kid, I would have been afraid of you. But… I also would have hated myself for being gay.".

He can't help it. As a weight seems to lift from his shoulders, he laughs. First dates aren't supposed to be like this. People aren't supposed to open their hearts and display the most intimate parts of themselves. He waits for Seamus turn and run away, to decide that this is maybe too weird for him.

Instead, Seamus moves a little closer, grinning up at him. "In that case, I'm glad I met you when I did," he says. "I think I like this version of you much better."

Dudley is well aware of how close they are now, and it makes his heart race. He has never been good at this sort of thing. While at school, he never went on dates. All he knows about romance comes from the movies his mum would always watch, and those weren't the most helpful things in the world.

"I've never really been around a Muggle," Seamus says, taking another step closer. Their feet are touching, and Dudley has to do is lean forward. "Well, there's Piers, but I don't know him all that well."

Dudley nods as Seamus rambles, but he's not really listening. His eyes are fixed on the other man's lips, and he is drawn in. All he can think of is what it would be like to kiss him.

It's maddening. He gives in, and the night seems to melt away. Seamus' arms wrap around him, and Dudley feels like this is the most perfect thing that's ever happened to him.

iii.

"Well?" Dean is in the living room when he gets home. Seamus rolls his eyes. Of course his best friend would be waiting up. "How was it? Do you like him?"

"Yes."

Seamus doesn't have to hesitate or think. There's something about Dudley that is just so perfect. From the awkward rambling at pub to the more serious moments after frozen yogurt, everything was perfect. Even now, nearly an hour later, he can still feel Dudley's lips, and it makes him shiver.

Dean grins so brightly that Seamus can't help worrying about him. "Will there be a second date?"

"Mate, I just finished the first one. Give me time to breathe."

…

Dudley isn't surprised when Piers just happens to show up at his house just before midnight. They've been best friends for too long; of course Piers will demand all the details.

Dudley still can't seem to get his head on straight. The night had been so perfect, and his mind is still swimming. All he can think about is Seamus in the moonlight, so handsome and smiling, and the way his lips felt.

Dudley has always wondered what it would be like to be wanted, to be desired, and now he has an answer.

"You're seeing him again, aren't you?" Piers asks, popping the top off his beer and taking a deep swig.

"I really hope so," Dudley answers.

He's still high off the feeling, and he never wants to forget what it's like. Semaus is the only one to make him feel this way, and Dudley will cherish every moment he can get.

vi.

Cooking is easy enough. Seamus would watch his mum as a kid, and he loved it. His stepdad would yell and remind Seamus that real men aren't domestic, that he'd be better off playing a sport.

Those days are behind him now. He doesn't have to try to be someone else, and he is free to live his life on his own terms. Grinning, he adds one more splash of white wine into the sauce.

Dudley appears behind him, wrapping his arms around Seamus and kissing his neck. "That smells delicious."

"Best damn shrimp you'll ever find," Seamus says proudly. "Check the pasta?"

Dudley peers into the pot. "Yes. The pasta is most certainly still there."

Seamus snorts. He and Dudley have a lot in common, but this isn't one of those things. Seamus cooks, and Dudley enjoys eating, so it balances out.

"How did I get so lucky?" Dudley asks with a content sigh.

Seamus dumps the angel hair pasta in with the creamy sauce, tossing it and smiling to himself. Really, he can't help feeling like he's the lucky one. "About two months ago, we were smart and let our friends play matchmaker," he says with a laugh as he transfers the pasta from the pan to two plates. "After that? Well, the rest is history."

Some days, they're still trying to figure it out. They're still from two different worlds, and it sometimes feels like they have no common ground. In the end, though, they always seem to find their way. It's why they're still here, still strong in the face of doubts, fears, and the occasional fight.

"Two months," Dudley says, grinning as he twirls a bit of pasta around his fork and takes a bite. He chews in silence before swallowing. "It may sound cliche, but it feels much longer."

And it really does. Sometimes, Seamus feels like he's known Dudley all his life. By now, Dudley has become such a strong, steady fixture, and he can't remember what things were like without him. Really, he doesn't want to remember.

Seamus lifts his wine glass, lightly tapping his to Dudley's. "Here's to us," he says. "From freaks to perfection."

Dudley nods, but Seamus can see the pain in his eyes. "Perfection," he agrees, pointedly avoiding the word freak.

"You still haven't told your parents?"

The other man shakes his head. "They won't like it," he says. "I figure maybe I can keep putting it off until I'm ready."

"You'll be waiting the rest your life," Seamus tells him. "There is no perfect moment, and the idea of coming out isn't going to ever stop being terrifying. But you know what?"

Dudley looks up, lips contorting into a grimace. "What?" he asks, tone absolutely defeated.

Seamus sets his fork aside and reaches out, holding Dudley's hand. His thumb brushes gently over his lover's knuckles. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right there with you when you tell them."

"Promise?"

He nods. "Promise."