The Earth King's Offer
A fan fiction story based upon characters from the Nickelodeon cartoon Avatar: The Last Airbender
By Storywriter1id
Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the sole property of the producers of Avatar: The Last Airbender. I claim nothing.
When Sokka and Toph got thrown out of the lower ring tavern and subsequently arrested for disorderly conduct by the Ba Sing Se Constabulary, Sokka figured they'd get hauled in front of some lower level magistrate, Toph would flash her Beifong family passport, and they'd be on their way. That's pretty much what happened in Omashu, Tu Zin, and everywhere else they'd run afoul of the local law enforcement on their path of destruction, strike that, quest for spiritual enlightenment they'd undertaken after the end of the war. So it came as quite a surprise to him we they found themselves standing in the Earth King's throne room.
"Lady Toph! General Sokka!" King Kuei exclaimed. "It's so good to see you both again. I can't tell you how happy I am to reunite with my former cellmates!" Bosco, the Earth King's pet bear, whistled in agreement.
Sokka was confused. Did he just call me 'General'? I actually kind of like the sound of that! "Uh, excuse me, Your Highness, but I'm no General. I'm just a guy with a boomerang." At least I used to be.
"Nonsense, Sokka. You defeated the Fire Nation's air army on the day of the comet. Without your brilliant plan, the Earth Kingdom would have been reduced to cinders. That's why I want to make you my High General. You'll have command over my armies, have a salary that will make you rich beyond your dreams, and get a big house right next door to my palace!"
"Well, that does sound great and all," Sokka began, "but I didn't do it alone. Toph's metalbending made it possible, and Suki" Why did I have to think of Suki "of the Kyoshi Warriors saved both our lives."
Kuei began, "Yes, I'm well aware of Commander Suki's valor, but she was content to remain in command her Kyoshi Warrior corps. You, however, are a man of great vision. I will not only make you my High General, but my principal advisor as well. What do you say?"
"Throw in a lifetime supply of meat," Sokka bowed respectfully, "and I'm your man."
Kuei lept with glee while Bosco clapped, "Excellent! It's agreed then."
Toph blew the bangs out of her eyes in annoyance. "That's all great for Meathead, but what about me? You'd still be in your own dungeon if weren't for me!"
Kuei smiled, "Oh, I haven't forgotten, Lady Toph! To you I'll grant the greatest honor of all. You see, there has been no earthbender born in the royal line for more than 10 generations. I will make you my Earth Queen, and our heirs will be the most powerful bending monarchs the world has ever seen!"
Toph's normally impassive face turned into her evil, Melon-Lord grin. Sokka's complexion took on a slightly greenish hue. He knew what was coming.
"So, you'll provide for my every want or need?" Toph asked.
"Of course. You'll want for nothing!" Kuei replied.
"And I'll be protected, guarded, and watched over at all times?" Toph pressed.
"You'll always be safe! You'll never even have to leave the palace. I'd never allow harm to come to my Queen!" Kuei persisted.
Sokka thought, Oh Spirits, here it comes. I wonder what the punishment in the Earth Kingdom is for 'Accessory to Regicide'. He was surprised, however, when the Earth King was not launched into the upper atmosphere via rock column. Instead, Toph calmly stated, "It'll never work, Your Highness. I'd make a terrible Earth Queen."
"Oh no! You're perfect!" the King argued. "You are the world's greatest earthbender and you come from a noble family! Think of the honor you'll bring to the Beifong house through our union!"
Toph blew her bangs out of her eyes in frustration, "I don't like being penned up. My parents tried it, and it didn't work. A gilded cage is still a cage, Your Highness. Besides, when I get penned up, I get bored, and when I get bored, I get destructive. Do you really want to see your palace grounds rearranged daily? And don't think you'll be able to stop me. I can take down a regiment of your elite earthbending royal guards without breaking a sweat. I've done it before. Once I got bored of the destruction, I'd probably just go ahead and take over, and you won't even realize I've done it, because I'm Just. That. Awesome."
The Earth King couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Think of the honor, the glory, the riches I'm offering you! I am your King! How can you refuse me?"
Frustrated, Toph stamped her foot, causing a tremble that knocked the king off his throne. She marched up the dais, and grabbed the monarch by his collar.
"Toph…." Sokka warned.
Toph held up her hand, "Can it Meathead!" To the king, she said, "OK, I've tried being nice, but you had to keep pushing. I've earned my own honor and glory. Riches mean nothing to me. Unlike my idiot friend down there, I can't be bought. And I have absolutely no interest in becoming your brood mare. Now that I've made myself perfectly clear, I'm going to turn around and leave, and I'm taking High General Idiot with me! You got a problem with that?"
Kuei gulped. Meekly, he squeaked, "No, Ma'am."
"I thought not. Let's go, Sokka. We're outa here."
As they left the palace, Sokka whined, "But Toph, where else am I gonna get a guaranteed lifetime supply of meat?"
Toph sighed, "You don't need it, Snoozles. You got me."
Sokka smiled. It's a fair trade.
A/N: I'm suffering a bit of writer's block on Legend of the Wolf. I know how that story ends, and I've written the epilogue, but I still have to figure out how to get there. This little one shot has been bouncing around my head a while, so I thought I'd throw it up. Reviews are appreciated, as always.