Their quest was long, their battles harrowing. In their journeys, the four Warriors of Light not only saved a kingdom from treachery, but also formed eternal bonds of friendship. Now, they put down the sword and enjoy their success in a quiet Cornerian tavern.
Rob the Fighter and Bob the Black Mage drink and laugh across from each other, while to the side Black Belt Robert plucks at the aged lute, their gift from Princess Sara. But one among their number is not pleased. Aerith the White Mage sits with folded hands and scowls on her companions.
"I will find simpler terms to express myself," she says. "We cannot make a living rescuing princess. Corneria has but one princess. Behold, she is rescued already. We cannot rescue her a second time. There is nothing from which to rescue her. There exist no princesses in want of rescue. And so: we must needs discover a way of making money which does not - and this is important - depend on rescuing princesses."
Bob the Black Mage leans back in his chair like Fantasy!Han Solo. "This is a business problem, innit?" he replies. "Supply an' demand an' all that."
Aerith turns to address him, her face a mask of beatific calm. "You are both stupid and evil. I do not know whether you failed to think through the consequences of your comment, or if actually think that having princesses kidnapped so we can get paid to rescue them would be a good thing to do."
"See a need an' fill it, yeah?" Bob the Black Mage says.
Rob the fighter slams the table, and all the cultery thereupon shakes. "FOOD. GOOD."
"Yes, I know you like food dear," Aerith responds. "We're discussing how we can keep getting food in the future."
At that moment, one of the Castle Guard strolls past the table, then stops with a double-take. "The Light Warriors? You do not happen to be them, do you? What are you still doing here?"
"Hey, I've got every right to be 'ere, same as you! In fact, what're you still doin' here, after letting Garlan' make off with the Princess like that?" replies Bob the Black Mage, with quite the furious expresison upon his face.
"Is it not your destiny to restore light to the orbs?"
The Light Warriors all take a moment to look at each other.
"I know of no orbs," replies Aerith.
"Yeah, we're heroes. Heroes save princesses. We saved a princess, cogito ergo sum we're retired. Quid pro quo."
Black Belt Robert finally chimes in, hefting his lute. "Yeah, save a princess, marry a princess. Literally no one said nothing about no orbs. Never."
Aerith frowns. "If you recall, you will also find that no one mentioned marriage."
"Ah, bullshit. She totally gave me the lute thing, yeah?" When no one responds, he continues. "It's like a sign of engagement in some cultures?"
"No Black Belt Robert. No it isn't."
When Black Belt Robert drops the lute from disappointment, the sound of five harmonious strings fill the chamber.
"Guys, can you not focus?" the guard says. "Is it not prophecied that the Light Warriors shall return light to the orbs of light? Is that not why the King built the bridge?"
"We saved Her Princess, we're done," Bob the Black Mage says. "End of stories."
In a dastardly act of violence, Aerith kicks Bob the Black Mage under the table. "You are loathesome and small-minded. I shall handle negotiations." Then, to the guard she says "Our agreement with the King was only to rescue a Princess Sara from Garland's lair in the northeast. New contracts must be bid separately. Our starting rate is 2 gil per person per day, with a stacking 1.5 multiplier for hazardous work and a stacking 2.0 multiplier if it involves crossing to the other continent."
"Well I have no but, but can you not see-"
"Then we have nothing to talk about." Aerith turns back to her crew.
"Finally!" Says Bob the Black Mage. "Fire!"
As the guard's corpse sizzles beside the table, Aerith sighs. "What a pity. We could have used the money. Well, we aren't Light Warriors for nothing. I am certain new work will pop up sometime."