DEPTHS
Through work, through everything that I do, you are always there. On my mind; in my thoughts.
I can't help it if my line of sight unconsciously slips from the files clutched in my hands to the glass windows of your office. I can see you leaning over your desk, no doubt writing yet another report.
There's something different about you. From all the others, from everyone I know, there's something that stands out; something that pulls me in.
That something has uncovered an emotion that I thought I had lost forever; hidden from myself. An emotion that I had buried under guilt; loss; and ongoing pain: the never-ending suffering. What was originally harmless comfort and after-hours fun has evolved into something serious; something I don't understand. How do you do this to me? How can you?
Shaking my head, I try to concentrate on the printed words dancing upon the paper in front of my face, but they seem incomprehensible at this current point in time.
I notice things; spying behind my unreadable mask; delving into your life. I wonder… Do you notice things about me?
My mind wonders, and the oh-so-important work that I am supposed to be doing is soon pushed to the back of my thoughts.
When I touch you, you burn me. You are insufferably hot - as if your entire soul is oozing molten lava.
Is that even natural?
That heat; it spreads through you like a blazing fire, slowly seeping into every fibre of your being. I can feel it flood into me when we are together. It is a treasure; a treasure that I want to take and keep right next to my heart where no one but I can feel it. Am I greedy? Is it selfish to want what is not mine?
Yes, I suppose.
You are a temptation, an irresistible being that beckons me closer with every passing minute: I cannot resist. I want to know that you will always be mine.
I want to be your only.
As I watch you working diligently in your office, my gaze flickers to the end of your arms; to your hands. They clench and relax, changing at your will; those skilful hands. I know that they fit perfectly into mine; that they can make me feel as if you are the only thing that has, does, and ever will matter.
Does that mean anything to you? Do you even know what you are doing?
Whenever the pads of your gently moving fingers tickle my skin, it causes millions of unstoppable fireworks to erupt in the pool of my stomach. Does that happen to you, too? Please say yes. I don't want to be the only one to feel this unexplainable pleasure and happiness. I want to share it with you, and only you.
Without warning, you glance up from your desk and your steady gaze lands on me; on my eyes.
Caught in the act.
My breath hitches in my throat, but it is not from being seen. I can't look away; I don't want to.
Your eyes. Your deep, resounding, intimate eyes. They hold me; keep me to you; let me see who you truly are. With irises of the clearest blue; they contain wisdom far beyond the age that your body effortlessly holds onto. They see me for who I am, and my senses run into overdrive when I stare into those aqua pools. They calm me; excite me; make me feel alive over and over again.
I think… I think…
Damn.
I think I'm blushing.
I can feel my mouth gaping slightly, as if I were going to say something. You look at me expectantly, raising an eyebrow in a cocky manner and placing your pen on the desk, before clasping your hands together. Even though I can't see it, I can feel that predatory grin already forming on your face.
I just don't know. What do I do? I'm unsure of every little thing.
I don't want you to let go of me; to throw me out like you have others in the past, or I'll lose myself again. I'll lose you. I couldn't bear that, and you know it…to see you with another person…where I should be…where I want to be. It would be like losing Lisa all over again, but a lot worse.
I don't want to suffer in the suffocating darkness that you rescued me from.
Mine. Yours. Ours. I'm not letting go.
My eyes lock with yours and a small sliver of excitement shudders through my body, reaching every space it can. Your gaze softens, becoming almost - dare I say it - loving, yet I can still sense that undying lust emanating from you. You can't deny there is something there, thriving in the throws of our passion.
I want to constantly feel you in the little space of my heart that you have created. I want to feel it burst with joy as you wrap your arms around my body. I want to feel it cry out desperately for you when you let go of me.
You are my only link to this world of uncontrollable feeling…
Love.
I think I love you.
I drop the files on to a nearby surface and quickly approach the stairs to the greenhouse - the office is not suitable for what you have in mind - and I can already feel you moving to catch up with me. I enter, and silence greets me. I stand still with my back to the door, and I hear the soft rush of air and the gentle footsteps against the metal grating as you enter the room.
Do you love me?
Your breath ghosts over my skin; leaving me a shivering wreck without even touching me. I am instantly soothed as your arms wrap around my waist and your body presses up against my back, leaving no space.
Say yes.
Your lips attach themselves to my neck; working on a mark that will surely be visible after the moment has ended. My hands grip around your own that are resting just below my navel. A shiver runs through me and I gasp involuntarily. You chuckle against my flushed skin and continue your ministrations, while I just groan in pleasure.
Tell me.
It's too much. I spin round in your arms and attack your perfect lips with a fevered passion. You react in much the same attitude; dominating me; pushing me against one of the glass walls. You mutter my name, voice husky with arousal.
Say it again and again.
Clothes are shed with practiced accuracy, strewn uncaringly over the room. It's only a matter of time.
Make me feel it.
I feel something. And I don't want to let it go. Don't want to let you go.
Love me.
I need you, here and now and forever.
Love me forever, please.