A/N: So...I had this idea where Ruka was a guardian and tried in vain to look after Tsuzuki. This will be long with warnings of self harm, attempts at suicide, dark stuff on Tsuzuki's part. I'm diving into more sad topics as of late. More practice on my end I suppose. I'm usually a fluffy sort of writer, but this series brings plenty of scenarios to work with.
I checked online and saw some posters from the 20s advertising Kodak portable cameras.
When I mention Kannuki (Which is their last name? I double checked online and it seems to be the case), this is Wakaba's grandmother who was the old gate keeper before Wakaba takes on the role.
-Lucicelo
The moment Ruka Tsuzuki took in her last breath, she realized she left her brother behind. Dying in her futon, alone, staring up at the ceiling, didn't set well with her. She found solace in having avoided the alternatives: her brother watching her die or waking up to find her corpse. Still, without any other family members, Asato lived alone in their little home. He remained alone on Earth without her.
As his primary caretaker and breadwinner, she raised him from the scrawny little child into a maturing teenager. Tsuzuki towered over her around the time he turned fifteen. She realized this development when she tried reprimanding him and he stared down at her.
The maturing appearance made it possible for him to work. Once he got the idea in his head, he declared leaving school in order to bring income into their home. She put her foot down, denying her brother from squandering his education. When their mother died, she dropped out for his sake. Once he started school, she insisted he complete high school. A higher education brought in better prospects and job opportunities.
She hoped he didn't toss away those plans because she died.
Taking a glance at her body, she grimaced at her sickly appearance. Owning no mirror, she didn't know the extent of the deterioration of her once healthy appearance. Eyes sunken, skin almost translucent, and her body thinned out, showing the bones in her chest. Her brother avoided answering her questions and kept on trying to heal her. The aftertaste of the herbal teas left a nasty coating on her tongue.
Asato's determination and sleepless nights brought a small smile on her face. He persisted in healing her, trying any remedy and trick to lead her back into the road of health. Sad to say, he became blind to the reality of her downfall.
Her funeral went as expected. A quick viewing, strangers helping to carry her coffin for cremation, Asato: inconsolable. He managed to nod at the mourners who came for her, but spoke no words. She stood at his side, whispering reassurances in his ear. He cried and blamed the gods for taking her away from him.
When the day finished, Asato went into a restless sleep. Flinging his arms about, fresh tears coated his cheeks, sheets tangled around his legs.
Ruka stood at the threshold of the bedroom door. Keeping an eye on him throughout the entire night.
Weeks passed for the outside world, but Asato ran on autopilot. Ruka noticed him going through their normal rituals of the day, sometimes, he unknowingly did something he used to do for her. He accidentally brewed herbal tea which snapped out of his stupor. He knocked the cup onto the floor, shattering it, spilling the tea throughout the floor. She remembered the smell well, it permeated the room, and stayed there for the longest time.
He returned one afternoon from school and dropped his books on their low rise table. Beginning the preparations for his bath, he lit up the wood and boiled water. While the water heated up, he set up a corner of their home for his wash. Long ago, their father added hooks to the wall where he installed a rickety rope. They propped old sewn fabric to conceal themselves as they bathed. Asato did no such thing, leaving the space open.
Once the water finished heating up, he began stripping himself of his clothing. Giving him privacy, Ruka averted her eyes, staring at an interesting dent on the wall. She heard him shuffling around, the sloshing of the water, nothing out of the ordinary.
A curt swear brought her attention back onto her brother. Her eyes widened at the sight of him sliding a knife over his left wrist. Thin lines of blood trickled down his hand onto the floor. He hitched his breath, shivering from lack of clothing on his body. He crouched on the floor, giving himself another deep diagonal line.
Speechless, she almost ran toward him. Stopping a few feet away from him, she reached out her hands, trying to grasp the knife in his hands. Her fingertips entered Asato's skin, she recoiled her hands, gasping in despair.
He dug his knife into the same spot, more blood came forth. Seeming to rethink his actions, he dropped the knife onto the floor. He picked up a rag and dipped it into the basin. He didn't wait for the water to cool before he pressed it against his exposed skin. The scalding liquid made him
Covering her eyes, she sobbed in front of him.
She lacked the understanding in helping him in life and death.
She met a guardian of death while Asato laid on his dirtied futon, wrists raw and trickling red. A knife still clutched in his right hand. Almost broken from the handle. This time, his frustrations prompted him to dig the knife into his skin. Tears of devastation wet his face, mixing with the splatter of blood dotting his cheeks. She witnessed him repeat the same actions. Multiple times a day if given the chance. Every single time, the wounds healed up, leaving no trace behind.
In the mornings, he scrambled to get ready and bolted out the door for school. She suspected he remembered her insistence in attending. Once Asato entered middle school, he started ditching whenever she left for work, she begged him to attend. This became a routine whenever she caught Asato roaming the streets or a coworker alerted her.
For the moment, Asato listened to her and returned to school. Trudging along, his smile stayed non-existent, the twinkle in his eyes disappeared. His reluctance to wake up in the mornings became prominent with each passing day. New knives broke in his attempts to damage his skin. He healed before he passed out of the blood loss. She cried throughout each event.
She wondered how long he concealed everything from her. The knives in their home, dull as they were, remained intact. She kept inventory of everything they owned and nothing went missing. Unless, he kept a secret one, hidden from her sights. Due to her work schedule, her brother had plenty of opportunity to do this without her knowledge.
Gripping her hands tight, she squeezed her lips together. Any attempt at aiding comfort did nothing, her hand went through his body. She learned how willing her fingertips to touch him made a slimmer of skin contact. Although, this method drained her spirit, leaving her indisposed.
The restrictions stopped her from giving into her emotions.
He continued on deteriorating before her eyes.
"Ruka Tsuzuki,"
Ruka turned around, a man his thirties stood at the entrance of their home. He wore a well tailored black tweed suit, a big contrast to the clothing people wore in the area. Tipping his hat down, he made one step inside, making her furious at his lack of respect. No one invited him in! He didn't take off his loafers!
She peeked down at Asato, noticing he showed no reaction to the unidentified man in the room. He kept on peering at his bloodied wrists, a dead emptiness developed in his eyes.
Clenching her fists, she inquired. "You can see me?" He nodded in confirmation. "Are you another spirit? How do you know my name? What are you exactly?"
He removed his hat, bowing, he introduced himself. "Ryuusei Takahashi."
Ruka blocked her brother from his gaze, her tiny body gave little to no coverage. "That doesn't answer my questions."
Ryuusei gave his paperwork a brief glance before answering each one of her inquiries. "In a sense, I am a spirit, but not the same definition as the recently deceased. My paperwork has your name and all your information on it. How I acquired your information? It comes with my job description, I am a guardian of death."
Ruka flinched, taking a step back, she gulped. "What do you want with me?"
Ryuusei smiled light, trying to reassure her apparent fear. "I'm here to guide you through the afterlife. Many have gone through the process and have received their judgment without any problems. From your paperwork, everything seems in order. You have nothing to worry about. Now, if you can please come with—"
"No, thank you." Ruka stayed locked on her spot. "I'd rather stay here."
"No?" Ryuusei rubbed his temples to soothe his oncoming headache. "Please, don't make this harder than it should be. I have to retrieve another soul in this same area after I finish with you. The process is simple."
Ruka turned away, giving a light harrumph. "Then, I suggest retrieving this other spirit and leaving me alone. I'm certain that taking me through force doesn't make you appear qualified for your job."
Ryuusei's eye twitched. He hated retrievals. His partner never developed problems when she went toward another section. Noting the young man in front of Tsuzuki, he felt some sympathy. Many spirits stuck around because of family members. From the look of the brother, he reacted in the worst possible way to his sister's death. Feeling awkward at witnessing such a private moment, he walked out, leaving Ruka and Tsuzuki in their home.
Ruka dropped her shoulders, placing a hand on her chest, she visibly deflated. She prayed this guardian didn't come back or simply forgot about her. Many died in her area, giving her a chance to hide from this man in plain sight.
Asato slipped on his mourning clothes and abandoned any pretext of going to class. At the sight of those clothes, she searched for a calendar in their home. On their low rise table, she saw a makeshift calendar, each day crossed out, the recent one was circled. She forgot about her own death date.
She followed after him, keeping a close eye on him throughout his journey to the cemetery. The disgusted faces from the passerby's opened her rose colored glasses to her brother's plight. She thought taking the neutral and kind approach helped more than retribution against those that wronged them. Such a naive and awful miscalculation.
As they walked down the path, a rock flew and hit her brother on the top of his brow. Turning to the scream at the perpetrator, her words brought no action, they were deaf to her voice. They cackled while running off in the other direction. She placed her attention back onto Asato, he just brushed the bruise and continued on walking.
Upon entering the cemetery, Asato sprinted toward her area. She followed along without any effort, wanting to wipe the blood which trickled down his face. Her made an abrupt stop. He flinched at the sight of her grave, touching the characters of her name, tears trickled down his face. Stepping even closer, he began speaking to her, giving an abridged version of events. Leaving out the worst parts, Ruka gripped her sleeves.
He must have lied to her whenever she asked about his day. Asato never wanted her to worry about his well being. As his older sister, she cared about him more than anything, of course she worried.
Time passed.
He went from a standing position, into a crouched one, then he sat on the ground. Still speaking about anything and everything, Ruka remained vigilant at his side.
The sunset illuminated the skies in wondrous reds and orange hues, meshing with the oncoming darkness of the night. A shadow from her grave covered Asato, his words lowered into whispers. He laid down onto the soft ground, curling against himself, falling asleep with tracks of tears coating his cheeks.
Asato returned one afternoon covered in bruises. This time, he sported visible evidence on his face, ones which receded throughout the night. He dropped his books as he walked through their home. The slams of each book hitting the wooden floor didn't phase him. He ran his fingers through his hair, flinching at the soreness of his face. Peeking inside of his clothes, the bruises on his chest already started to heal.
Looking back at the books, he returned and picked them in his arms. He dumped them onto the low rise table, sitting on his usual spot before he cracked one open. He read the words, repeating the same sentence over and over. The words of his sister floated back into the front of his mind, urging him to continue school. His voice of reason.
Studying became more of a chore as the years passed on. Ruka always commented on how quick he picked up his subjects. She celebrated his high grades with the rare pastry she managed to buy from their savings. Those little sprinkles of happiness, pushed him through the tougher days.
Brushing his fingers over the pages, he found little interest on the subject. None of it mattered to him.
"I hate going back..." Asato grumbled, touching the bindings of his school books. Contemplative, he held a page in between his fingers, bending the corner. "Why do I keep going? No one wants me there. I should...I should stop. Yes. No one is forcing me to go."
At the first rip of paper, Ruka's stomach plummeted. She watched in horror as Asato tore up his school books. Gathering them on a pile on the floor, he continued on tearing them into smaller pieces. He bit into the rope bindings, snarling when they didn't break away. Getting up, he ran toward their kitchen area and snatched up one of her knives.
He snapped the ropes, digging the knife into the cover. Repeating the same actions with his other schoolbooks, he found satisfaction on getting rid of this facet of his life. The pile of indecipherable words of paper grew larger.
"Asato, stop it!" Ruka screamed at him. "Please, you can't let them win! You are worth more than they are!" Deaf to her voice, she slammed her fists onto the wall to release her frustration. Her hands phased through the wood, stopping her from resuming.
Asato prepared a fire, collecting their meager pile of firewood and used kindling to light it up. He threw the papers into the fire, furthering the flames even longer. He used a stick to knead the papers into the fire. His shoulders relaxed and he hunched over his bent knees.
For the first time in a year, Asato laughed, showing a mere mask of the old Asato. Ruka crouched next to him, she stared into the vibrant warm flames, consuming the paper in rapid speed. His exhausted and heartbreaking laugh, tore at her heartstrings, making her weep beside him.
Ruka groaned at the sight of the persistent guardian. He appeared in the most inconvenient moments. Having long grown frustrated at the sight of him, she sent an annoyed glare at his direction. He kept on following her, she used different tactics to slip away from his sights. At the slight inclination that she remained in the area, he gave her explanations on the benefits of moving on. She hid her amusement whenever he stalked away from her, grumbling under his breath about runaways.
Unfazed, Ryuusei came forward, holding a stack of Ruka Tsuzuki's information. The higher ups insisted on bringing Ruka Tsuzuki through for her fate. It wasn't that simple. Ruka Tsuzuki ended up becoming as sly as a fox. She avoided him at the mere sight of him. Using the living as barriers and keeping focus for any sign of him. As a last result, she used temples as refuge where many spirits congregated. Their department gathered many old cases of spirits, distracting them from even looking for Ruka Tsuzuki.
He grimaced at the state of the small home. It grew worse since the last time he stepped foot in the place. Garbage piled up, clothes strewn in different areas, overall, depressing. Careful where he stepped, he didn't dare take his eyes off of her. She might disappear before his eyes again.
He opened with his usual line. "You can't stay here, Tsuzuki-san."
Ruka stood her ground. "I'd rather stay a wraith and never reincarnate. I have to look after my brother."
Ryuusei rubbed his temples. "C'mon, Tsuzuki-san, spirits can't wander the Earth. Trust me, there are demonic entities and monsters that can hurt you. You might as well pass on and save yourself the trouble. Reincarnate into a nice family, rest in eternal slumber, choose anything, but you have to leave this plane. Your brother will move on with his life and leave this pain behind."
"No, thank you." Ruka reached out her hand, phasing through her brother's shoulder. He twitched in his sleep, he seemed calmer whenever she lingered around. "There's nothing you can say that will keep me away from him. I'm sure that even you had family that you didn't want to leave behind, Mr. Guardian."
He pursed his lips together, enticing her something else might help. "Tsuzuki-san, it's hard watching him like this, correct?"
Ruka stiffened. The sight of her brother hurting himself, stabbed her heart as she witnessed everything with her own two eyes. Her ignorance to his mental state brought on her shame on her lack of sight. She raised her brother without any help and saw none of the signs of his troubles.
"There are other options than reincarnation and entering eternal slumber." He flipped through her papers, glancing at the blurring words with disinterest. "You can sign up as a guardian of death. The process is simple."
"I don't believe you."
"Well, you can physically help him out after going through the training. You won't need to exhaust yourself putting your energy into your fingers." Ruka snapped her head toward him. "Oh? Willing to listen to me now?"
Ruka nodded.
The legends of guardians of death disappeared from her mind as she went through the process. No one wore long black cloaks or carried scythes. Workers wore office attire or anything deemed appropriate for the workplace. The bureau appeared no more than an ordinary office building. This soothed many of her preconceived notions.
Chief Konoe, head of the Summons Section, welcomed her inside with a bellow of his voice. At the sight of her, he smiled, using his hand, he motioned to the empty space in front of his desk. He offered a seat, but she declined, finding it best to remain standing on her feet. Clad in a simple pale pink dress, she placed her hands in front of her, waiting while he read through her file, the results of her pre-examination, and her application. Of course, she expected him to give another glance to his paperwork before giving his assessment.
This new type of interview boggled her mind, the paperwork aspect delayed her on how to fill out the spaces. At her old jobs, she met the owner or manager in person, and they spoke to her in length before hiring her. Having old managers who vouched for her, helped her gain employment way easier than when she first started. Nonetheless, she finished everything in the papers and accompanied Ryuusei the next time he collected her.
Chief Konoe broke the silence with an impressed tinge to his tone. "Your spiritual powers are higher than expected. I must say, I'm quite impressed. Most guardians tend to develop them during their training. You naturally have the capability to cultivate the spells we use."
Ruka's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"
Konoe laid the papers on his left. "It means you won't need much spiritual training. Although, it's suggested for your overall safety to go through the program. There's nothing wrong with honing your skills and having an advantage over many obstacles. You might pick up spells faster than the average guardian I employ in this sector."
Ruka agreed, anything to provide her safety and well being. "I don't mind taking the extra training, sir, I have little information on many aspects of this job. Best to learn everything and then some."
Konoe chortled. "That's the spirit! Oh, forgive my pun."
Ruka giggled. "It's alright."
"Now, our training team is ready to receive you. They have your information and will plan out a suitable method for your training. I offer my own services as well, I know many spells which may help you out in tight situations. I have done decades of field work and can pass on boundless knowledge. If you accept my offer, these spells may take a few years for you to learn."
Flinching, Ruka tried playing it off, but her voice broke. "Years?"
Chief Konoe lifted a brow in question. "Is there a problem, Tsuzuki-san? Becoming a guardian may seem tedious, but we try to prevent future obstacles. That's why each guardian is trained throughout their first year and beyond."
"I—I." Ruka swallowed. Chief Konoe might retract hiring her if he knew the truth. She signed up to sneak away for her brother's sake after all. "Nothing. When am I able to get onto the field?"
Konoe smiled. "You may begin training tomorrow, then we can talk about placing you in a sector."
Working with her partner, a wacky young man named Jiro, Ruka solved a major case after a string of smaller ones. She thanked Konoe for his insight of spells because those helped her in this particular case. Without them, a visit to the infirmary might have occurred. Jiro seemed amazed at her high level in spell casting, immediate pride showed in his grin. Thrilled at having such a competent and talented partner over everyone else, their working relationship went smoother than she expected.
Living on her own proved a hard task on its own, she lived with her family. Her time as a wandering spirit kept her at her brother's side. The homesickness caused her to stay at her job because of the deafening silence from her temporary apartment complex. She picked a newer apartment complex which housed different families, the continual noise filled up the empty space.
Her new position left no free time during the first two years. Any free time was spent going to Chief Konoe to elevate her spells or helping out other guardians in their cases. Some of these cases didn't need her interference from the start. Either way, the experiences helped her understand the different layers which came with the job. Otherwise, her mistakes would have caused an even worse problem.
The positive aspects overshadowed the boring parts which dragged the day along.
She met different types of characters through this job, making multiple friends from different walks of life. The traveling perks gave her a larger insight of the world outside of her sector. Areas she never hoped of traveling into due to her multiple jobs. During those instances, she was glad on taking a leap of faith and applying for this job.
She documented her day inside journals. Entries spanned numerous pages or a small snippet. When she reread everything, she remembered the awe and wonder whenever she encountered something new. The memories brought tears of gratefulness to her eyes.
The first time she saw Asato, he returned home wearing a uniform from a job. He flopped onto his futon, knocking out and entering into a deep sleep. Using her new powers, she added protections throughout the perimeter, keeping anyone with bad intentions from nearing their home. An additional alert on high distress defused her thoughts throughout her training process.
Approving of her own work, she teleported back to the realm of the dead.
Boiling a kettle of tea, she placed a strainer on one mug and set another mug on the counter. Whenever she made a cup, she always ended up preparing for two. It made her seem considerate of her partner, but the second one was for her brother. A usual routine she did throughout her life which transferred into death. No one else knew about this little tidbit.
Pouring the brewed tea through the strainers, she dumped the loose tea into the right trash can. Taking her tea without sugar, she blew into the hot liquid before taking a sip. She heard a ruckus coming her direction and stayed put.
Jiro bolted into the kitchen, his usual grin plastered on his face. He accepted the mug with a grateful thanks before sipping it. "Hey Ruka, Ryuusei commented about you getting a shiki when I went to hand in our reports." Jiro leaned against the counter, pouting. "You should have told me!"
"I'm so sorry, I forgot to tell you." Ruka's hands warmed up from the cup she held in her grip. "Chief Konoe said there was an opportunity to go this weekend. Kannuki-san has the time to open the Southern gate for me to pass through. You can go with me if you want."
Jiro waved his hand, turning down her request. "No, it's alright. I just like being kept in the loop. I understand when the excitement makes one forget about stuff. It happens to me all the time!"
They shared a laugh.
"Are you sure?" Ruka asked. "There's always room for another person to lead me around."
"I'm sure. This gives me time to complete a small case and keep myself entertained." He clinked their mugs of tea. "Here's hoping you get your shiki on the first trip. I had to go five times before I found one whose test I passed. Thankfully, my list of compatible shiki was long."
Ruka loved the shikigami realm. The vast mountainous terrain, the lush green plants, stretched as far as the eye could see. Ryuusei informed her of a certain area where guardians went to find out their compatible shikigami. Ruka forced herself from gazing at the picturesque scenery and followed Ryuusei to the right area. She met Ryuusei's shiki on the way, the human form of the large animal she saw once during their brief collaboration on an investigation.
She received a list of names, which showed no descriptions of these shiki, but Ryuusei's shiki knew everyone in the area. This gave her a sense of relief, she wouldn't go through this without any clues. At the first sight of the first name on her compatible list, she asked Ryuusei's shiki on where to locate him or her. Once she got the information, she tore into the nearby forest, leaving her bag behind. Ryuusei chased after her, screaming at her for taking off without someone guiding her along. Caring little of the rips her skirt received, she found the warrior, gathering water in a canteen.
Remembering a test portion, Ruka introduced herself, bowing low. She kept her arms at her sides, managing to catch a glimpse of Mayumi's boots from her peripheral. Waiting on a response, she didn't move a muscle.
Ryuusei stopped beyond the brush of the trees, knowing the process well. Not wanting to interrupt them, he dropped the bag over the bush, gaining a sharp look from the imposing archer. He put his hands up, backing away, until the shiki disappeared from his sight. Running off, he encountered his shiki, informing him on the situation.
Mayumi informed her of the test which began the moment she lifted her head. Before they left the area, Mayumi picked up the bag and handed it to Ruka. Ruka cringed at the future lecture she'd receive from Ryuusei on running off. For a week, Ruka lived on the terrain with Mayumi. Ruka found no difficulty, used to living on so little, she voiced no complaints, gaining her shiki's respect.
The stern and expressionless wind shikigami, held her tight as they said their goodbye. "Mistress, I'm hoping that you return soon." Mayumi burrowed their face into Ruka's hair. "Bring an image of your brother. I'd like to see a visual on my mistress' family."
"Cameras are becoming portable so I may be able to sneak one." Ruka assured her, although, she huffed at the title Mayumi kept on using. "Mayumi, I told you to call me Ruka. We're friends. I'm not higher up than you."
Taking her words into consideration, Mayumi tipped her head up and down. "From your information, he seems amicable. Similar to your personality and appearance." She tilted her head to the side. "Is he guardian or will be become one?"
"I—I'm not sure. He's still alive. I'd like that he lives until old age." Ruka responded.
Mayumi said nothing more on the subject.
Ryuusei, having said goodbye to his shiki, floated near the entrance of the portal. "Tsuzuki! Get a move on! I'd rather make it back before our partners question us when we return! Kannuki is especially crabby when people are late!"
Ruka turned her head up and yelled back. "Got it!" Giving Mayumi one last squeeze, she began floating up toward Ryuusei. "I'll come back soon! Stay safe!" Once she made it up to Ryuusei, she grinned. "Happy?"
"Rarely."
Returning from the shikigami realm, Ruka fiddled with the silk braided bracelet Mayumi, crafted for her. A small tassel hung on the side, reminding her of Mayumi's earrings.
Kannuki welcomed her back, patting her shoulder on her successful attempt of attaining a shikigami. Ryuusei informed Kannuki of Ruka's test which brought a wince out of her. Kannuki's shiki came from a long line of priestesses, no intricate tests other than presenting the lineage powers.
Ruka thought back on her week with fondness. She found the test bonded her with Mayumi in a deeper level.
Finding time off in their slow season, Ruka returned to her hometown. Dressing for the colder weather, she teleported with her new camera in her hands. Her coworkers told her about those cameras with stands, one of the more professional ones. She found a portable one which fit well for her plans. Hauling a huge camera around and setting it up snatched up a good amount of time. The unnecessary noise would bring unwanted attention before getting a chance to mask herself.
Seeing her old home in the horizon, her heart quickened in excitement. She sneaked around in the back, finding one of their smaller windows near the kitchen area. Keeping an ear out, she heard her brother shuffling through the kitchen. Peeking around the corner of the window, she saw him eating a large portion of rice simple fish.
Standing at one of their smaller windows, she masked herself and the camera. She peered through the viewfinder, her brother ate his food with gusto. Her cheeks pinked, feeling rude in sneaking a photo of her own brother. As she contemplated her options, she realized Asato finished a good portion of his food. She shook her head, his appetite kept growing as the years passed on.
Observing him, she saw a slight difference from the young man from last time. A flicker of life returned. From the uniform hung on the wall, she smiled light. Asato found another job and sustained his income. A weight left her shoulders at the mere thought.
She could resume sneaking in a portion of her own paycheck and food in the pantry!
With that in mind, she lifted her camera up to the level of her eye.
She convinced herself that she owned no physical photo of her brother and Mayumi suggested bringing a photo to their next visit. Besides, she always thought of placing a photo of Asato inside of a portrait for her apartment. Taking in a deep breath, she resumed her task and got into the right position.
Pushing down her reservations, she pressed the button.
Ruka hauled Asato onto his futon, her new strength made it easier for her to move him. She found him stumbling down a dirt road, visibly drunk and disoriented. Fearing for him, she placed his arm over her shoulders and helped him to their home. He mumbled nonsense, bemoaning his current unemployment, swearing at the barkeep for cutting him off at closing time.
He questioned her, wanting to know her name. She said nothing. Simply smiling at him, she helped him along. She patted his back whenever he stopped to empty his stomach on the side of the path.
She encountered him drunk more times than she liked.
Ignoring the mess of the place, she inspected the area for food or anything to give him. Her jaw slacked at the lack of food in the pantry. She checked through the usual ingredients used on the daily basis. A few servings of uncooked rice remained inside of the jug. Her brother kept no food in stock. The brother who inhaled his meals, went without food for who knows how long.
She checked her old and battered tea tin, she found a meager amount of green tea to steep. Running outside, she gathered the right herbs to boil in the water for a hangover cure. She added the herbs and water into a tea kettle before she sparked a fire. She busied herself while glancing at Asato every few minutes. At one point, he rolled off the futon and pressed his cheek against the cold floor.
Finishing the brew, she found a chipped tea mug, poured it inside and turned toward Asato. He rolled back onto the futon, drooling from the side of his mouth. He snapped awake at the sound of her foot stepping on one of their many creaking floorboards.
"Ruka?" Asato tried sitting up, but struggled in keeping his weight up with one arm. "Am I dreaming? How are you here? I—I don't understand."
Ruka smoothed down her long skirt before crouching down beside him with tea in her hands. "Drink this, then go to sleep." She lowered the cup onto a coaster. "This will soothe your stomach and have you sleeping all night." He reached out his hand to touch her, but stopped himself from clutching onto her sleeve. She pushed herself back onto her feet. "I have to go now."
Asato curled on his side, glancing at her and then the cup of tea. "Am I dreaming?" Ruka remained tight-lipped. "Ruka..." He picked up the cup and drained it, he passed out when he laid down.
Ruka cleaned off the kitchen area, hiding evidence of her actions. She wanted to have him thinking that he dreamed her presence. Best to leave it on that note. She almost dropped the ruse and revealed herself, but fought against it.
She returned the next day, stocking his pantry with some food. A little bit at a time where he didn't question the increase in the pantry.
"It's hard watching the living, isn't it?"
Ruka swayed on her feet, hands trembling, she gripped the ends of her sweater. Tears gathered in her eyes, this was it for her, her boss found out. She didn't know the consequences of her actions, never thought of asking, she knew it would give away her intentions.
Konoe materialized beside her, clad in a sandy suit and blue tie, he peeked into the bar. He located the person Ruka overlooked for years. A young man pouring a shot of sake, his clothing rumpled and in disarray. Her younger brother: Asato Tsuzuki.
He knew of her actions for years, not too hard to figure out when she disappeared whenever she returned from an investigation. Keeping silent, he watched her growth on the job, but her mind still resided on the living. Actions which wound a guardian when their loved one died without their notice. It happened more often than anyone admitted in public.
During his less than busy days, he followed her. He watched her leave him food, clothing, anything to better her brother's state of life. She remained in the shadows, watching, keeping worse occurrences from happening to him.
"You're concealed, correct?"
"Y-Yes, sir." She uttered out, her eyes remained on Asato as he slumped over the bar. "I didn't want anyone catching a glimpse of me. I'm still somewhat recognizable around this town. I worked in different areas of employment."
Konoe tipped his head, "I see." He found a tea place near them. "I'll be right right back. Don't leave just yet."
As he left, Ruka muttered. "It's not like I can run off. I'm doomed." He returned minutes later, two cups of tea in his hands. "Chief?"
"I ordered them and cast a spell to make the server think I still resided in the tea house." Konoe sipped his own. "May I have an explanation to your actions? I'm not going to reprimand you, I'm just curious."
"I-I can't help it, sir. He's all I have left." Ruka hung her head in resignation, avoiding from glancing at Konoe's direction, she faced her fate. "You're going to fire me. Aren't you?"
"I'm not firing you." Konoe handed her a cup of tea, she lifted her head with tears in her eyes. "I did the same for my younger sisters, to my relief, each one passed on peacefully in their sleep. The closure helped me to focus on my job. I understand your feelings, Tsuzuki-san, it's hard leaving this world when you have people who stay behind."
Ruka sipped her tea, her throat constricted when she tried to swallow. "I won't apologize for looking after my brother."
"I don't expect you to apologize." Konoe watched Ruka's brother down another shot of sake through the window. He counted ten shot glasses on the bar table. "Try not to overdo it, Tsuzuki-san. It's tempting to change aspects of the living, but they don't always bear fruit."
Ruka dropped the bundle of clothing in her arms when she saw Asato standing over a bridge. People passed him, not giving him a flicker of attention. She recognized people who commented less than savory words about him. Ignoring him, they went on their way. She dropped pretenses as she ran toward him, revealing herself to him, he almost slipped forward from the shock.
No one else saw her, shifting her powers around, Asato remained the one person who saw her. She stopped a few feet away from him. The people passed through her as they shuffled through the bridge.
"Asato?" Ruka questioned him, she held back any accusatory trigger words to prompt him further. "Asato, please come down from there." To her relief, he hopped down, his eyes wide, he slumped down onto the floor. "Asato? Talk to me."
"You shouldn't be here." Tsuzuki looked up at her, his eyes hollow and broken. He was deeper in his delusions than he thought, he saw his sister of all people. "Ruka, why are you here?"
Ruka crouched in front of him, "Should I not be?"
"No." Tsuzuki scrutinized her, the transparency of her body made him shiver. "You're dead. No one comes back...even as a spirit. I think—I think I'm losing my mind."
"No, you're not." Ruka bit the inside of her cheek, she was close in exposing herself. "Y—You're not delusional."
"I have nothing to live for." Tsuzuki cried out, his fingers dug into his forearms. "What use is there to live?"
Ruka clenched her hand. "Asato, there are many things to live for."
"You're not there!" Tsuzuki stood up, towering over her petite form. Ruka made no move backwards, she kept eye contact, Tsuzuki snapped. "You're gone, Ruka! You made it easier for me to live! Give me a reason! One!"
The small groups of people stopped, snapping their attention onto the screaming man. Whispers spread through the crowd, Tsuzuki paid no mind to their words. His eyes remained on the entity of his sister.
"We should leave children, no use watching this spectacle. Let him dive into his drunken stupors." One of the men in the crowd muttered to his kids. "Good thing the sister died, she escaped the wretched fool just in time."
Ruka's dug her fingers into her palms, the biting pain distracted her from the anger directed at these onlookers. She tried finding the words, anything to persuade her brother from his previous actions. Nothing popped into her mind. He turned away from her, bolting into a run. The crowd broke away, leaving a path for him to run through.
Ruka stayed behind.
The next time Ruka found her brother, he laid on crisp white sheets. She used her in depth spell work to locate him, to her shock, she stopped in front of a small clinic. Entering inside, she masked herself before the nurse or the doctor saw her. Following the tracking bird, it disappeared in front of a room far from the entrance. Opening the door, she saw bandages on different parts of his body. One exposed eye stared out the window.
Closing the door behind her, she placed fuda paper on the door, giving them the privacy she desired. When she said Asato's name, he didn't turn his head toward her. It appeared that a doll replaced her brother. Moving around the bed, she waved her hand in front of his face, he showed no reaction. His mind was far away from the world.
Locating paperwork on one of the tables, she collected the pile and shifted through the contents. She read anonymous as the name not Asato Tsuzuki. She saw no pen to correct this mistake, but it seemed unwise of her to do so.
Checking the next section, she averted her eyes for a moment, feeling sick at the details of the cause of his injuries. She assumed sickness, not a deliberate accident which brought his permanent internment at this hospital. Having witnessed worse in her job, she swallowed the lump in her throat and continued on.
On the added notes, her eyes widened at reading the words: rapid healing. The doctor knew about her brother's gift in sustaining no injuries after a short amount of time. Her mind wandered onto the scenario of the doctor keeping her brother for experiments.
She saw nothing off in the room and her brother appeared well taken care of. Ignoring her overthinking mental images, she calmed herself with the knowledge that her brother was in the same room as her. Although, the nagging itch in the back of her mind argued otherwise.
Biting the inside of her cheek, she covered the file and laid it back onto the table. From her distance, she cast a spell on her brother to prevent the doctor from thinking about doing anything other than observing Asato. He could document Asato's healing abilities, but disclose nothing to anyone else. From the mentality of their hometown, such gifts were seen as a curse.
Going back to Asato's side, she curled her fingers around Asato's hand. "Asato, it's Ruka. I'm here." He laid still. "I'm so sorry I haven't come back. My new assignment was far away from here. I—I never thought I would ever find you in a hospital." His eye moved toward her, one of his fingers twitched. "Asato? Do you recognize me?"
Using her thumb, she rubbed circles on his knuckles. His eyes filled with tears, overflowing, he forced a jerk of his hand. She tightened her grip on his hand, lifting it to her face, she peppered kisses over his bandages.
"It's okay." Ruka hoped her soothing tone comforted her brother. "I'm right here." She wiped the tears from his face, kissing a few away. "I looked all over for you. I never forgot about you. I love you."
Entering the Summons Section, Ryuusei rubbed his temples. He jumped on a task that he regretted on taking. Imagining Ruka's reaction, he cringed, he hated seeing women cry. It made him uncomfortable and awkward. The last time Kannuki cried, he resigned on simply giving her a pat on the back, which earned him judgmental looks from other guardians.
Kannuki greeted him with a wave, noting his tenseness, she questioned him. "What's wrong? Are we getting sent to some dangerous case again? Do I have to prepare another disguise? This time, you're wearing the dress."
Sighing, Ryuusei admitted to his partner. "Worse. I volunteered to tell Tsuzuki some bad news."
Kannuki groaned. "That's what Chief Konoe does to spare us the trouble! What were you thinking?"
"I nodded without thinking...look...her brother passed away." Ryuusei commented to Kannuki, her face transformed into pity. "We can't keep this a secret for long. She goes back there any chance she has any freedom. Damn it. I should have let the Chief tell her, it makes this so much easier."
Kannuki rubbed her forearms, thinking back on her own family. "I didn't think anyone else returned to see their loved ones. I've never heard of another guardian speaking about it."
Ryuusei leaned against his desk. "It's not surprising, many guardians have attachments with the living. The temptation to go back and see them again is strong. Anyway, we're going to have to tell Tsuzuki sooner than later."
Opened the door in time to hear her name, Ruka entered the room and made her presence known. "Tell me what?" She piped up, both guardians jumped, turning to her with grimaces clear on their faces. "Okay? This must be some real bad news? What's going on?"
Ryuusei worried his lower lip before he said. "You might want to sit down for this one." Ruka pulled out a chair, smoothed down her skirt and sat down. "Listen...we know how much you keep going back to your hometown."
"Yeah...once in a while." Ruka informed him, she saw the blatant sadness on Kannuki's face. "What does my hometown have anything to do with anything?" Kannuki wrapped her hand around hers.
Ryuusei rubbed the back of his neck. "Your brother is dead."
Ruka asked. "What's the date?" Ryuusei and Kannuki's delayed responses brought her into a panic. "What's the date?" Kannuki stuttered out a response and Ruka broke down into tears. She let Kannuki hold her as she whispered reassurances into her ear.
Nothing soothed her broken heart.
Her brother died at twenty-six.
After three days at her apartment, she returned to work. Listless and lost, she went through the motions at her job. Any news of a new dead person, her head snapped toward the direction of the person. To her relief and disappointment, the person in question said the name of another person. The reality of her brother's death hit her harder than expected.
Half the time, her mind wandered from her work. Any break in her thoughts and she wondered on her brother died. Her reports littered with multiple mistakes where she restarted everything from scratch. She wasted many pieces of paper and she swore at herself for the waste. Jiro didn't get mad at her, he picked up the slack and tried finishing everything in a flash.
She didn't stay away from people. Remaining on her own didn't make her feel any better. Sticking around others distracted her long enough before she ended her shift for the day.
She fought the temptation to drink her sorrows, but the allure enraptured her.
Hurrying to a store, she searched through their selection. Recognizing the sake from her old job, she bought it and returned home in a matter of seconds. Changing into comfortable clothes, she poured her first shot, holding it in her nimble hands. Swirling the glass around, her eyes followed the waving clear liquid. Doubts filtered through her mind, she saw how much this vice affected her brother.
Dumping the sake back into the bottle, she returned it back to its original place. No use drinking when new spirits passed through the bureau everyday, she might catch a glimpse of him, speak to him, embrace him.
She'll have to ask Konoe for a notification when someone guided his soul through the halls.
"Chief? You called me?" Ruka opened the Chief's door.
Konoe smiled, "Come in, come in." He motioned her closer as he shuffled his paperwork to the side. "We have a new guardian joining our ranks and I know how much you enjoy welcoming them in. You do a better job at explaining everything than I am. You're a lot more patient with the brash ones."
Ruka knew her smile still appeared forced to everyone in their department. "You didn't have to summon me in your office. I usually seek them out myself during my breaks." She pressed her finger under her chin. "What are you up to, Chief?"
Konoe opened his mouth to say something until the door knocked. "Ah, there he is now, this is our new guardian. I interviewed him yesterday." Konoe informed Ruka. "His spiritual powers are beyond the scale! He surprised me just as much as you. One of the best applicants of the year, we're lucky to have him join the ranks."
Ruka blinked, surprised and in awe. "May I help him hone his powers then?" Konoe confirmed it with a nod. "That's good! I need something to do. My sector has gone stagnant for the last month. What's his name?"
There was another knock at the door, Konoe exclaimed. "Sorry! Come right in!" The door opened as he said. "His name is... Asato Tsuzuki."
Ruka twirled around, trembling, her brother stood before her. Asato's face paled at the sight of her. "Asato." Her voice quivered as tears gathered in her eyes. "I—I can't believe this." She turned to the Chief, flabbergasted. "You—"
Konoe lifted himself off of his seat and walked around his chair. The wrinkles around his eyes became pronounced as he smiled. "I'll be taking a walk around the bureau...for about...twenty minutes or so. I might take longer. You two can use my office. No one comes inside without my permission."
Ruka watched him walk away from her, she uttered out. "Chief—"
Konoe passed Tsuzuki, giving him a pat on the back, he left the office.
Tsuzuki worried his bottom lip, making no move toward her. Taking in her appearance, she went back to the beautiful woman from his memories. Her peachy skin, big brown eyes, long luscious brown hair, and her normal weight. She wore a dusty pink dress which passed her knees. Whenever he thought of her last month, he remembered her rail thin body and pallid skin. In death, she healed into her old appearance and became radiant.
He fiddled with the cuffs of his buttoned up shirt. Uncomfortable in the suit, he wanted nothing more than to change into his old clothes. An office building required professional clothing, he sucked it up and wore it in. Brushing his fingers against the leather strap of his watch, he gritted his teeth, his sister saw his shame.
"Asato." Ruka stepped toward him, her hands stretched out. "Asato...talk to me." Tsuzuki collapsed onto his knees, making her jump on the spot, she hurried to him. "Asato!"
Tsuzuki kept his head down, ashamed of staring at her, his arms dangled on his sides. "Ruka..."
"Oh, Asato, you're here, back in my arms." Ruka cupped Tsuzuki's face with her hands, keeping him from turning away from her. His arms circled around her waist, remaining on his knees, teary eyes stared into hers. Despite the tears running down her cheeks, she smiled, loving and kind. "That's all that matters to me."
Tsuzuki's tears leaked out the corners of his eyes. His words choked up in his throat, overwhelmed at her presence. What he thought were delusions of his beloved sister, were in fact real. She saw him in his weakest moments. Glanced into the darkness he concealed away from her. He tried hard not to bring disappointment in her tender eyes.
"H—How can you bare to touch me? To look at me?" Tsuzuki hiccuped. "I'm a disgrace. You should have never seen what I did to myself. The true feelings I concealed away from you. I broke my promises to you. You should hate me..."
Ruka gritted her teeth before she snapped. "I can't control what you say about yourself, but I'm your older sister, I love you more than anything on this Earth. Dead or alive, I watched over you. I took this job to protect you."
Tsuzuki's smile didn't reach his usual expressive eyes, "I still offed myself in the end." Ruka glared down at him. "You shouldn't have thought about me. You deserve reincarnation and a new happy life."
Ruka pinched his cheek, hard, he whined. "I'm happy with this job and the benefits it has provided for me. I met countless people and learned many different lessons. I explored different parts of Japan, places I would have never gone while I was alive. You'll love having this job, Asato. We can explore to places far beyond our small little town."
Tsuzuki got onto his feet, still holding onto her hips, his bloodshot eyes crinkled from his attempt at a smile. "You always saw the silver lining in everything." He carded his hair as Ruka fiddled with the collar of his shirt. "Ruka?"
"Hmm?"
Tsuzuki told her. "I'll work on myself. This is my new lease in life, well, afterlife." Ruka gripped on his shoulders. "Replaying everything from these last few years, you saw everything. You must have been mortified...I never wanted you to see..."
Ruka said. "Asato, you have my endless support. Whatever the case, I'll be there for you every step of the way. Remember, you'll always have your older sister watching your back. We will always looked after one another. If I'm mistaken about anything...don't feel shy in telling me about it."
Tsuzuki held her again, burrowing his face into her hair, inhaling the scent of coconuts. "Thank you..."
"I'll have everyone address me as Ruka." She rubbed his back, thinking on how to introduce him to the rest of the guardians. "I'm tired of having them call me Tsuzuki. You're Tsuzuki from now on."