?TDWT Walk Like An Egyptian Pt. 1
Chris: Season three of Total Drama folks! The world is gonna be mine! See to shining see! Sadly, Im forced to share my world with a teen travelling freak show. They will be competing all around the globe for another million dollars. So lets meet our players! Courtney! Duncan! Heather! Gwen! Leshawna!
Gwen: Ah. Are there reserved seats? Aye can I have one not behind Heather's pony hair ponytail?!
Heather: Um! My extensions are HUMAN hair!
Duncan: You learn something new everyday!
Gwen: (chuckles)
Chris: Lindsay! Owen, DJ, and, Harold!
Owen: Ick, uck oh
Chris: Guys?
Owen: Sweet strawberry preserves! Noo!
DJ: He's afraid of flying remember.
Harold: Aero-phobia. From the Latin. I suppose to Aeronoziphobia, the fear of air sickness.
Noah: Keep up the fascinating facts, and Im going to be aeronozious all over you.
Chris: And! Returning favourites, Noah, Cody, and...
Ezekiel: ...Yo yo yo! This year's winner is in the house! Oh! Bus! I mean runaway! Where's the plane eh?
Izzy: I know right? Lets fly whoo!
Ezekiel: Watch out! Ooh
Izzy: Naw!
Chris: Yup! Izzy's back! Also returning this season, Tyler! And the co-host of Total Drama Aftermath, Bridgette.
Bridgette: Whoa whoa!
Ezekiel: Yo Chris you forgot to introduce me!
Chris: (sighs) and Ezekiel. And now to mix things up and keep it all fresh, we are adding two new competitors! He's an honourable student with a diplomat for a dad, and an amazing ability to charm the pants off most species! Alejandro!
Alejandro: Perhaps I could assist...
Izzy: Wowee!
Bridgette: I...I..I have a boyfriend!
Alejandro: And amigos, please! Allow me!
Ezekiel: Wow eh!
Tyler: I like girls!
Chris: And she's a sugar addicted super fan with 16 Total Drama blogs, Sierra!
Sierra: Oh my gosh I love you guys! And this is the greatest day of my life and. ( Breathes heavily) Anybody gonna pay for a bag I can breath into! Yee! Oh my gosh Cody! I've dreamt of this moment, only you weren't wearing a shirt!
Total Drama Jumbo Jet squeaks and enters.
Duncan: What the!?
Courtney: Excuse me? But Id like to express some concern about the safety of our plane.
Chris: Relax, its perfectly safe! Now boarding!
Owen: No! I cant ride in that! All the united nations! Call a cab! Call my mom! No. Im not doing this. Im out! This is unethical!
Gets hit by frying pan, courtesy of Chris.
Owen: Mommy!
Chris: Anybody else got a problem with it?
Cody: No!
Lindsay: Love it!
Bridgette: Dibs on the window seat!
Chris: Now boarding! On a voyage to a million big ones! We're saving you a first class seat for all the action! Here on Total Drama World Tour!
Duncan: Seriously?
Theme song plays.
Gwen: Singing? Really? I thought Chris was joking about that.
Courtney: Well I don't have a problem with it!
Leshawna: Yeah cause you like singing!
Duncan: Well I don't! Girls sing, little birdies sing, haha! Duncans DO NOT sing!
Harold: Think I get to beatbox?
Duncan: I'll beat you if you try!
Heather: Why are you doing this to us!
Chris: Singing reality shows are huge! And, the worser the singing, the higher the ratings! Which, is why on this show, there will be no vocal coaches, or rehearsals or warnings!
Everyone: (whines)
Chris: Any who, this is the dining area, where you will enjoy inflight meals!
Ezekiel: Not for long eh! Prepare to lose for the Zeke!
Gwen: Okay, so not trying to be mean here but you know that you got voted out first last time right?
Ezekiel: Word! And I spent every minute making sure that don't happen again. Im stronger, faster, smarter-
Chris: -Chattier, blabbier, cant shut uppier! Now zip it and let me finish the tour so we can get this burden flight!
Leshawna: Is there a ladies' room?
Chris: Just through there!
Leshawna: Good! Cause I gotta make a deposit!
Changes channel to the lavatory confessionals
Leshawna: There's a camera! In the potty?! Again?! Ugh! Cant a sister get a little privacy in this program?!
Chris: Losing teams will enjoy luxurious economy class accommodations between destinations!
Lindsay: Okay, but where are our beds?
Chris: Owen! Care to demonstrate?
Owen: (snores) plane! No! (Continues snoring)
Heather: That does not look comfortable!
Chris:No comfort for losers! Safety harnesses and an emergency exit! But, no comfort here, here, or here!
Sierra: Ahahahaha! OMG Chris I am just LOL! Hahaha!
Ezekiel: We should hit the winners' compartment eh cause I ain't never gonna sit back here! Huh! NEVER,
Noah: Is NEVER you policy on mouthwash too homeschool?
Chris: This is the first class cabin. The domain of each week's winners!
Alejandro: Now this is the kind of accommodation ladies deserve!
Lindsay: There are ladies in first class too? Oh! Me! You meant me!
DJ: That guy is as smooth as Mama's gravy!
Tyler: Lindsay's supposed to like me!
DJ: Haha nobody can compete with gravy.
Tyler: Lindsay! I can do a handspring! Ooh! Ahh! Oh!
Lindsay: Oh my gosh! Poor...uh..uh Im blanking on his name! Oh oh I know! Alejandro!
Alejandro: Thats my name.
Lindsay: And what a nice name! 'Alejandro'! I could say it all day!
Alejandro: Please do!
Lindsay: (chuckles)
Change channels to cockpit.
Heather: I can see right through that guy. You know, this extra confessional is a thousand times nicer than talking in the toilet!
Chef: Maybe for you, Im trying to fret for a flight here!
Heather: Hello? Venting? Shhhhh! Anyway, new guy is so transparent, so fake, so-
Chef: -Deliciously subducted?
Heather: That is exactly the opposite of what I was trying to say!
Chef: pretty good looking guy to boot! Im just sayin'!
Heather: Ugh! For get this!
Changes channels to Chris' private room.
Cody: Whoa! Where are we now?! A grand piano?! Lit burning pizza oven, four person hot tub with led light show and dancing waters?!
Harold: How do I win this? My fair Leshawna loves a hot tub!
Chris: Easy tiger! These are my quarters and they're of limits! Clear?!
Harold: Crystal.
Sierra: Oh Chris! I heart your limits!
Changes channels to the lavatory confessionals.
Heather: Anyway, with Beth gone, Lindsiette and Ale- whatever looking like a real threat, my only strategic option is to make friends with the new girl. But pretending to like that, is gonna be hard! I do not heart the new girl!
Changes channel to dining area.
Chris: And thats pretty much it! I skipped the cargo hold and alley, but Im sure you'll find those exciting destinations later, when I 'accidentally' lock you in them!
Bridgette: Whoa!
Alejandro: Seniorita! Are you okay?
Bridgette: Is the Earth moving?
Izzy: Nope, we are! Whoo!
Chris: One more thing. Im sure you remember a little something called 'elimination ceremony'? Takes place right in there my friends!
Changes channels to elimination room
Chris: If you don't receive a barf bag full of airline issued peanuts-
Ezekiel: I got a peanut allergy though, er, more like a sensitivity?
Chris: You'll be forced to take the drop of shame-
Ezekiel: Okay, I just don't like-
Chris: Kinda like this!
Ezekiel: ooh, aw. Hey! Ho good one eh? Now slow down and let my plane back in!
Chris: All eliminations are final bro!
DJ: Every second we're gettin' closer to adventure, and further from Mama.
Sierra: Cody Emmett Jameson Anderson. I also happen to know your birthday is April 1st! You're my very own April fool!
Ding- Ding
Chris: Whenever you hear that friendly little bell, its musical number time!
So, lets hear it!
Courtney: But what are we suppose to sing?!
Chris: You have to make it up as you go. Wouldn't be challenging now otherwise would it?
Music starts...
Courtney: Up!
Courtney and Izzy: Up!
Courtney, Izzy, and Sierra: Up!
Courtney, Izzy, Sierra, and Lindsay: Up!
Harold: Sing!
Harold and Cody: Sing!
Harold, Cody, and DJ: Sing!
Harold, Cody, DJ, and Tyler: Sing!
Heather, Leshawna, Bridgette, Courtney, Izzy, Sierra, and Lindsay: We're flying.
Alejandro, Noah, Harold, Cody, DJ, and Tyler: And singing.
Everyone (except Gwen, Duncan, Ezekiel, and Owen): We're flying and we're singing!
Sierra: Come fly with us!
Sierra and Cody: Come fly with us!
Izzy: We've got a lot 'o crazy tunes to bust! Haha!
Bridgette: Come fly with us!
Bridgette and Lindsay: Come fly with us!
Alejandro: It's a pleasure, and an honor, and a must.
Duncan: Dudes, this is messed. You're singing in a plane.
Harold: What did you expect? Chris is freaking insane. Ah!
Gwen: Yeah, but, guys, you're singing on TV!
Courtney: Haven't you always wanted to? It can't just be me!
DJ: Come fly with us!
DJ and Leshawna: Come fly with us!
Heather: Do you know how to steer this thing!?
Chef Hatchet: I try.
Ezekiel: They thought they could leave me and depart, but this stowaway's got winning in his heart!
Noah: Come fly with us! Come die with us!
Owen: We're flying?! I hate flying! Stop the plane! (gets hit on the head with a frying pan, courtesy of Chris)
Sierra, DJ, Cody, and Heather: Come fly with us! Come sing with us!
Gwen and Duncan: No!
Chris McLean: Anyone care for a copy of the season three rules? Because in order to escape instant elimination-
Bridgette: All contestants must sing in each show!
Courtney: Duncan, do it! Let's go!
Cody: Gwen, sing it! Don't go!
Gwen: Well, I don't wanna go home. Come fly with us! Come fly with us! Come and fly with us!
Courtney: Duncan, come on! Please?
Duncan: This sucks!
Everyone (except Duncan, Owen, and Ezekiel): Yeah!
Chef Loudspeaker: Enough singing from cakes, round yourselves in! We are now beginning our intend into Egypt. Musical numbers. Worst idea ever. Chris is such an idiot. Hey why is that PA still on? Oh!
Chris: We'll be right back.
In Egypt...
Chris: You guys ready for a little fun huh! Wow. Its a torture out here huh? I call today's challenge, Pyramid Over Under!
Leshawna: An 11-hour flight, Chef's inflight cuisine, a force musical number and now we've got a challenge?!
Chris: Don't you love this game?
Harold: Its like we're being cooked in a giant oven...
Leshawna: It would help if you weren't dressed like a giant baked potato.
Harold: Aluminium foil means the aliens cant reach your brains. Its a real problem in this area.
Chris: Man! Thats satisfying! Alright, pyramid over under means you choose how you'll get to the finish line. Either over or under the pyramid, got it? Ready, set-
Ezekiel: Wait up yo! You guys wait up! I told I wasn't gonna lose this time eh!
Chris: Didn't we leave you like Halfbacks, or White Horse, or, whatever!
Ezekiel: Its called landing gear homie! I climbed it, and hid with the cargo!
Chris: Impressive! But, you're still out!
Ezekiel: No way! Im in it, to win it! Word!
Chris: Hey, its your funeral. Set?! Go!
Inside the pyramid.
Noah: Oh great. Our friendly neighbourhood host dude failed to mention there were different paths.
Heather: Hey Sierra! Which way do you think we should go?
Sierra: Me?! Um, uh, uh.
Owen: how do we know which's right?
Izzy: I know! I saw this on a spy movie once, you lick your finger and hold it up to find the air flow. Mmm! The sand really crunches in your teeth. Fun aha ok. DJ! Give me your hand!
Leshawna: Don't do it DJ! You might catch a case of crazy! C'mon Harold!
Izzy: Oh Oh Oh! Lets take the scary mummy door!
Tyler: Is it too late to go under instead?
Lindsay: Alejandro's doing okay. He is like the super cutest mountain goat in the world!
Tyler: Wait! I can be a goat!
Alejandro: May I be of assistance?
Tyler: Lindsay! Im a goat! Baaaaaa!
Changes location.
Courtney: Rock climbing was a team building challenge when I was a CIT. And if Tiffany Brislebusky had'nt been such a lousy partner, I have won!
Duncan: I always said Tiffy was overrated.
Courtney: Mock all you like Duncan, but my superior belay skills are gonna assure our victory.
Duncan: Hey Gwen! Are you going over too?!
Gwen: Working on it!
Duncan: I think Gwen could use a hand.
Courtney: Fine. But only because a three person belay is stronger.
In the pyramid again.
Izzy: Oh look we're in the nurses' office!
Noah: Its a pyramid not a high school.
Izzy: Costume party! Mummy me!
Over the pyramid.
Alejandro: (Grunts)
Tyler: Lindsay! Wait up! Ow! My hand! ( falls)
Heather: (gasps)
Heather and Sierra: Ahhh!
Sierra: Oops! Sorry Heather!
Heather: On its mistake! Could've happened to anybody!
Courtney: And your form is appalling.
Gwen: Gee, thanks Courtney! I was just wondering about that!
Courtney: You know you're only here because Im feeling nice today!
Gwen: Wow! This is you being nice? My sympathies!
Courtney: You hearing this Duncan? Your not gonna let her get away with that!
In the pyramid.
DJ: Thats a real dog! Poor little guy!
Leshawna: DJ, we do not have time to cry over a stuffed dog.
DJ: Hey little buddy! Wish I had a biscuit to give you! What did I do?! What I do!?
Harold: Scarabs! Run!
Owen: Izzy! Izzy!
Noah: Dude, shes lost, we've gotta go.
Owen: aw poor Iz.
Noah: Poor Iz? She insisted we go in circles cause she smelled something lucky.
Owen: Oh I think that might've been my fault. Airplane food.
Ezekiel: Guys? Anybody? An intercom? What the shizzle? Yo players! Is this thing on?
Alejandro: Its too steep for me to carry you down!
Bridgette: There must be an easier way. Im a surfer! I can surf!
Tyler: Me too! Oh no!
Chris: Good work guys!
DJ: We're first? We're first!
Chris: Go stand behind the number one.
Harold: In Egyptian, its waheet.
In the pyramid.
Sierra, Cody and Heather: (Screaming)
Izzy: Guys guys guys! How a bout another musical number! 'A pyramid's just a triangle with room inside. I would be awesome as Frankenstein's bride.'
Noah: Hey Brick-house, I found your girl.
Owen: Say you do make a cute mummy! I you gotta kiss for a -
Ezekiel:( grunts)
Noah: Thats not Izzy! Run!
On top of the pyramid.
Bridgette, Lindsay and Alejandro: Woohoo, yeah!
Bridgette: Yeah! Awesome!
Lindsay: (chuckles)
Alejandro: Ladies, after you.
Chris: Not so fast. This season, three teams! Bridgette and Lindsay round out team one, Alejandro, you're the first member of team two!
Harold: In Egyptian, its eitnei.
Chris: If its any consolation you do get-
Tyler: Ahhhhhh!
Alejandro: uh, Tyler is it?
Chris: Yup. And you also get-
Noah and Owen: Ahhhhhh!
Chris: Congratulations!
Alejandro: Thats...wonderful!
Alejandro curses in the Confessionals in Spanish.
Sierra: Oh Im so happy we found you! Heather, aren't you so happy?
Heather: Im so happy I could scream.
Sierra: Yay! We did it! Group hug! C'mon Heather you too!
Chris: And hugs' over! Sierra, get behind the number two. Heather and Cody, you'll be on team three.
Harold: In Egyptian-
Chris: -No one cares Harold.
Cody: Where's Gwen? Nnnot that I cared just curious.
Gwen: Im telling you we need to untie!
Courtney: And Im telling you its unsafe! Im incharge and-
Chris:-Um, kids, recognise that sound? Time for whoever's not finished yet to give us a little musical reprise!
Duncan: You said one song per episode!
Chris: Yeah! And this is a reprise! Not a new song! If you don't sing, you're out! So lets hear it!
Duncan: You know what? No! No no no no no no! Three hours of these two squawking over this stupid pyramid in this stupid heat, and you want me to sing?! Forget it!
Chris: Dude you have a contract!
Duncan: Eat it McLean! If you need me I'll be in the plane waiting for a ride home cause Im out, done! I quit!
Courtney and Gwen: ( gasps )
Cody: Hi! Looks like we're team mates!
Confessionals
Cody: Girls on the rebound are the best! They cry, and then you get to buy them a pop and listen and well, they still wont go out with you but you get to buy them a pop!
Owen: Izzy no!
Noah: You're carrying the undead!
Izzy: Bite me so I could be your undead bride like Frankenstein!
Ezekiel: Thanks for all the help ya knobs!
Chris: Izzy, go join-
Harold: Tahlata, or three.
Ezekiel: c'mon guy! After all this you gotta let me back in the game!
Chris: Fine! But Only cause were down a man thanks to Duncan McQuitty pants, go ahead and join team one.
Ezekiel: Yes!
Chris: Talk amongst yourselves to determine your team name. You have 3 minutes while I enjoy this ice cream cone!
Ezekiel,Leshawna, Lindsay, Dj, Harold, Bridgette: Team Victory!
Izzy, Heather, Gwen, Courtney, Cody: Team Amazon!
Alejandro, Tyler, Noah, Owen: Chatting
Sierra: Got it! Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot!
Alejandro, Tyler, Noah, Owen: What!?
Chris: Alright! Best Team name ever! And here are you rewards! Team Amazon you win a camel! Team Chris is really really really really really really hot-
Alejandro: I think there were just four reallys.
Chris: You win a goat. And Team Victory here you go
Leshawna: So those guys who come in last get a camel and we get a stick?
Chris: All will be explained, if I feel like it. Next time, right here, on Total Drama World Tour!