A/N: Two different plots flipped into one. I don't know how I got hit with this inspiration... actually, I was wondering why I let Natsu call Lucy 'Luce' even though he doesn't do that in the story (or maybe he does... and I don't realize it). Eventually, I warmed to the idea and instead of him calling her 'Lucy of Fairy Tail' she is now 'Luce of Fairy Tail'. And the only possible situation where that would ever be used is... well, this one.

So enjoy and as always, I'll see you in the next one! -808Lionfire

Disclaimer: Fairy Tail (c) Hiro Mashima

Overview: Rated T for, y'know, adult themes and whatnot. Minor (to major) swearing. Set in canon world but alternate timeline. Genre: Humor/Friendship. There is Romance at the end and Family feels as well. This plot was and is meant for humor and entertainment purposes. I advise you not to do any of the following acts at home or anywhere else. Otherwise, you'd really get arrested. Word Count: 4,140 [minus Author's Note and this section].

Summary: She wasn't prepared at all. The last thing she'd expected opening her door that night - or early morning, rather - was a somber looking man, wearing a uniform and asking her, "Are you, by any chance, Luce of Fairy Tail?"

Pairings: Natsu/Lucy, Gajeel/Levy, implied Elfman/Evergreen (and a lot of other implied and/or mentioned/friendship/family ships), Fairy Boys friendship, Fairy Girls friendship, and other general Family/Friendship feels.

Unprepared

A loud series of knocks jolted the 23 year-old blonde awake. Kicking the blankets off of her legs, she made sure not to jostle the blue exceed that was sleeping on the pillow next to her. The woman blearily rubbed her eyes as her free hand blindly searched for her clock. When her hand wrapped around the plastic device, she held it up to her face and squinted tiredly. Bright, angry, red numbers screamed itself at her and she resisted the urge to scream loudly.

For Mavis's sake, she thought venomously, obviously pissed that she was woken up.

Another round of knocking brought her out of her dangerous thoughts and this time she groaned out loud. With a sharp 'I'm coming' and a quick search for her shorts (she really wasn't expecting any company tonight), the blonde woman dragged her feet towards her door. She quickly slipped on her shorts before opening her apartment door and covering up her yawn with her hand. She nearly choked on her own air as she eyed the obviously good looking man who was currently standing in front of her apartment with an irritated frown marring his lips.

Since last night, she had sworn herself to one man (or so her friends say. They all were obviously drunk so she doesn't know how much she can trust their words... or her own) but she had to admit, he was pretty easy on the eyes. Okay, so maybe she could still feel a little bit of alcohol running through her veins but not enough to impair her eyesight. However, the blush that spread across her cheeks was definitely not due to the alcohol. And, for the sake of sparing this man's life from the wrath of an extremely temperamental male, her flush wasn't because of him either.

Nope. It was because Lucy finally registered that she was still a little bit tipsy and she was currently standing in front of a Magnolian Officer. Who was eying her state of dress in disapproval. Or, at least what looked like disapproval because her extremely large shirt covered her pants completely, making them seem like they weren't actually there. So yeah, her face felt hot as she stared, gobsmacked at why an officer of all people was standing at her apartment door. She wasn't dressed for company or if she was, for some reason, going to get arrested.

She wasn't prepared at all.

The last thing she expected to open her door to that night - or early morning, rather - was a somber looking man, wearing an uniform asking her, "Are you, by any chance, Luce of Fairy Tail?"

Wait. What?

Lucy stopped her inner breakdown to stare blankly at the officer. Due to her alcohol influenced mind, it took her a minute for what he asked to finally sink into her brain. When it did, she had a brief moment of undeniable relief that he wasn't here to arrest her. After she let out a calming breath, a shot of anger rushed through her and burnt away what was left of her drunken haze. Because, well... who else really calls her 'Luce'?

Natsu Dragneel, that's who.

"Yes," The blonde sighed heavily, leaning into her door and pressing her forehead against the cold wood, "That's me."

"My name is Deputy McAllen," The officer introduced himself with a respectful bow, "I apologize for interrupting your night, but I'm afraid I have to ask you to accompany me to the station."

"Alright," Lucy sighed, pushing off of the door, "Just let me grab my keys and slip on some boots. I'll be right out."

The walk towards the station had been more than just a little awkward to say the least. Of course, Deputy McAllen described the situation in full detail which did nothing except fuel the maiden's fury further. And once they got into the building, the officer dutifully led the blonde-haired woman towards the holding cells and quickly made his escape. Pissed off women were dangerous. Pissed off Fairy Tail women were deadly.

That being said, no one dared to leer or make a crude comment on her attire, afraid that the anger would be redirected onto them (Though they pitied the poor soul on the receiving end of that glare). In her mad dash of worry and anger, the blonde forgot to change out of her sleeping clothes. Meaning, she still had that three-sizes too big shirt that completely covered her shorts and her hair was probably a mess. Her keyring was clenched in one hand and every time she made eye-contact with one of the prisoners, she was sure that she heard them squeal in fear. They knew not to mess with her.

However, one idiot dared to defy natural laws. Which was no surprise to the blonde.

"LUCE!" A happy voice cried out in relief.

A moment later, someone rammed into the cell's bars and shot their hand out. Startled, the blonde quickly took a step back until she finally took notice of who was reaching out towards her. She stormed towards the bars, a furious glare on her face. The salmon-headed man immediately reared back in fear, wisely retracting his arm right before she could take it in her deathgrip. There goes his hope that she wasn't pissed enough to kill him.

Lucy wondered what he had expected when he requested her to retrieve him. Was he expecting pity? Sympathy perhaps? No, she refused to give it to him. It was four in the damn morning and she was woken up from a peaceful, dreamless sleep by an officer pounding down her door. The blonde was scared half to death when she thought that she was going to get arrested just to find out that it was her freaking partner needed to be bailed! Yeah, he's getting no way around her wrath.

May the Celestial King grant her patience to deal with this kind of idiocy. This idiot, actually. Doesn't he understand how important tomorrow is to her? She needs her beauty rest, they agreed on it. Then he has to go and do this! She honestly hoped the others doesn't have to deal with this kind of problems. But then again...

At that moment, she dared a glance behind the cowering man and she felt her soul leave her body. The other males (whom were trying their best to seem as small as they could so she wouldn't notice them) flinched when recognition passed her gaze and she rubbed her temples to ease the growing headache. It seems like she was the first one here. She was sure the rest were sure to follow but she needed to get in a couple of sharp scoldings before the others were probably maimed.

"Of all the stupid things you guys could have done," Lucy growled out lowly, wiping a hand down her face, "You guys did it. All of it." They looked away guiltily but the Celestial mage wasn't done yet, "You guys aren't children! Who the HELL decided it was a good idea to go streaking in the middle of the night?" Without hesitation, six different hands pointed to the dark-haired male who had taken to looking at the wall as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. Lucy felt her eye twitch, "Gray Fullbuster."

"It wasn't me!" The male protested immediately, slapping the accusing fingers away, "They dared me! All of them!"

"But you followed through."

"I can't back down from a dare! You know me Lucy!"

"I told Juvia that you guys weren't going to get in any trouble!" Lucy shouted back, making the man flinch and look a way guiltily, "You told me 'Don't worry Lucy. I'll keep an eye on Flame Brain and the rest, just count on me'! Guess what? I counted on you and look what happened! ALL OF YOU IDIOTS ARE IN JAIL!" She turned to the chubby man who cowered in the corner with his best friend, "And you two, Jet. Droy. What would Levy think?" The pair sniffled but otherwise stayed quiet. "Eflman-"

"Getting arrested is MAN!"

"-Evergreen is going to kill you."

Lucy ignored the pitiful whine that the brute released and took a look at the rest of the familiar faces, some she would never had though she would see. Not that it was strange, it was just she wouldn't (or, rather, couldn't) believe that they got them to play along. Those being the likes of Laxus Dreyer, Gajeel Redfox, Freed Justine (Bickslow she could understand) and Alzack Connell. Yes, even Alzack. How they even roped him into their mess, she'll never know and quite honestly, she doesn't want to.

"For Mavis's sake," The blonde sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose, "We should have never let you guys have a stag night. You all agreed that you would stay in the forest by Natsu's house, what happened?"

"Ah, well. Y'see," The salmon-haired man chuckled nervously, lightly scratching his cheek, "It got kinda boring so we decided to go eat out and then someone suggested we go to a strip club-"

Lucy's eyebrows sharply rose right as four fists shot out and whacked him on the back of the head, causing the Dragon Slayer to lurch forward and bang his forehead against the metal bars. The man groaned in pain, holding his hand to his head while glaring at the guys who hit him. For a second, Lucy let a small, amused smile filter her lips before she folded her arms with a frown, her eyebrows still raised.

"Continue."

Natsu looked at her a little warily before obediently continuing, "We didn't go there because Gajeel whined about how he'd get cas... castr-"

"Castrated," Lucy answered appreciatively, her dark smirk sending shivers down every male's spine.

"Uh, yeah. That," The salmon-haired man muttered, "Then Ice-face suggested that we go to a bar and we all agreed." He peeked a glance at the blonde's unimpressed face and quickly tried to find an excuse, "It was only meant to be one or two drinks, Luce! I promise!"

"But then it obviously wasn't," The blonde replied emotionlessly.

He flinched, "Well... yeah. It wasn't."

"So you guys got drunk," Lucy started out slowly, her voice steadily rising at each word, "Decided to vandalize property," They winced. "Destroyed the new fountain on front of the cathedral," Another wince. "Thought it was a good idea to go streaking," Gray flinched the most at this one, "Managed to not only freeze, burn and tear down a portion of Magnolia's forest but also broke into the Mayor's home!? I swear, if the girls weren't heading here right now, I'd Lucy kick all of you so you won't even be able to walk at the wedding tomorrow!"

The guys sighed in relief. Each one of them knew how much it hurt and the only person who would probably hurt the less was Natsu. The lucky bastard. But then they flinched, each one of their faces growing in horror when they heard the girls were coming. She gave them one last disappointed look before heading towards the entrance to find the Sheriff to pay out her partner's bail. The others nervously tapped their fingers on their legs, shifted restlessly in their seats or bounced their legs in fear. The group of men were a sight to see.

The most fearsome group of mages each had their own type of fear etched on their faces. Keep in mind that these were the type of men who would fearlessly run into a monster infested cave, willingly put their lives on the line, fight hoards of dragons without fail, and face any kind of challenge with a determined heart. The fact that they were reduced to bundles of nerves just because of a few scary (yet, extremely truthful) words from the Celestial mage and the anxiety of the other women who were coming to bail them out, was just... wrong. It didn't match their reputation at all.

So when the blonde woman returned with the Sheriff after ten painstakingly long minutes, everyone tensed.

"Natsu," Lucy sighed, making the man's head lift in her direction, his eyes widening hopefully, "You're lucky I love you, you idiot."

"Love you too, Luce!" The Dragon Slayer chirped back.

The officer wordlessly stepped up to the cell and unlocked it. Without even a moment of hesitation, Natsu jumped to his feet and rushed out to gather Lucy in his arms. The blonde's face flushed as the salmon-headed man buried his face into the crook of her neck. After a moment's pause, she wrapped her arms around the man neck and sighed into his hair.

"Don't think that I'm not mad at you, Natsu. I had to dip into my rent savings just to bail you out."

A smile spread across the man's lips, slightly pulling away so he could look down into her wavering eyes, "That's fine. We can go on a mission after the wedding."

"Oh yeah! that reminds me," The blonde gasped, easily pushing the Dragon Slayer to the side and ignoring his pout. She turned towards the Iron Dragon Slayer who looked at her curiously, "Gajeel, I met Levy in the lobby. She told me to reassure you that she was still going through with the wedding," At the man's relieved sigh, she smiled, "Since tradition says you can't see the bride until the wedding, she paid your bail and left. But don't be surprised if she hits you at the alter."

A chuckle passed Gajeel's lips as he stretched to a stand and strode out of the cell, "That's sounds like somethin' the Shrimp would do."

"As for the rest of you," Lucy turned her eyes on the remaining men that sat in the cell, her lips stretching into a kind, sympathetic grin, "I really hope I see you all in one piece tomorrow. It would be a shame if we had to hold funerals after the reception."

Despite the sentiments meaning to be reassuring, the men's face fell in fear. Natsu, who was watching all of their faces carefully, burst out laughing. Gajeel even had to admit that it was a little funny but grunted to cover up his chuckles. The blonde rolled her eyes, not even wanting to try anymore, and followed after the Sherif towards the lobby. She passed a pissed off looking Mira, Lisanna, and Evergreen but exchanged kind greetings before heading out the station with Gajeel and Natsu in tow.

Lucy turned to Gajeel and shocked him with a hug before pulling away with a pleased grin, "For good luck."

"Gihi," The Iron Dragon Slayer chuckled and patted the top of her head, "Thanks, Bunny Girl, but I already got the Shrimp to say yes. I ain't gonna screw this up now."

"That's nice to hear," The Celestial mage smiled happily before waggling a stern finger in his direction, "But if you ever hurt her-"

Gajeel smirked, "Get in line, Blondie. There ain't gonna be anythin' left of me because if the Shrimp doesn't do it herself, I will. Like I said earlier, I an't gonna screw this up."

"Just making sure," Lucy shrugged before stepping back to Natsu's side, "You'll be safe from the girls if you see them on your way home tonight."

"Ain't that a relief," The burly man chuckled and then a terrified shiver went down his spine at the thought, "I don't want Titania or Rain Woman going ballistic on my ass. Sometimes I think all of you Fairy women are bat-shit crazy."

The Celestial Maiden laughed, "Now you know not to get yourselves in jail just for a stag night."

"I'll knock 'em out next time they do somethin' stupid," Gajeel rolled his eyes, "Even if I don't wanna go, they'll find a reason. Fuckin' idiots."

"Yeah," Lucy smiled, "Just don't make it a habit."

[Unplanned Nalu Stuff -because I couldn't help it-]

After the farewell and good-luck to the Iron Dragon Slayer, Natsu and Lucy head down the blonde's street. She was trying to give the man a good ol' dose of the silent treatment but it was kind of hard to do when he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and was literally breathing down her neck. He was whining about her ignoring him and how he was so sorry that she had to wake him up to bail him out. She honestly thought she would last until they got to her apartment but when it was in view, he easily gripped her shoulders and spun her around to face him. He had an irritating smirk on his face when the blonde flushed a the close proximity.

"C'mon, Luce," The man whined, "You can't be mad forever."

"I can very well try."

"No you can't!" He protested, "You have to be happy! Especially during the wedding!"

Lucy regarded him blankly, "I'm going to be happy with Levy. Just because we're going together, doesn't mean I can't be mad at you."

"Luuuuuce," Natsu whined again, his hands falling off of her shoulders as he slid his hold onto her elbows, "I'm wearing the stupid tux for you."

"It's not like I'm forcing you to wear a tux, Natsu," Lucy rolled her eyes, ignoring how his hands trailed down the rest of her arms to grip her own, "And you're Gajeel's Best Man, you need to wear it."

"Doesn't matter," Natsu shook his head splayed her hands on his chest, simultaneously pulling her closer, "I'm wearing it to make you happy."

"But I'm still mad at you," The Celestial Maiden pointed out, "And you're going to wear the tux anyway. Why should I matter?"

"What if I said that I wanted to marry you?"

Lucy gasped (whether in shock or happiness, she didn't know) and tried to pull her hands out of his grip but he held firmly onto her. He had a cheeky grin on his face and she immediately flushed at his implication. His heartbeat rolled lazily, almost content, under her palm and her breath caught in her throat. Since his heart wasn't racing, she knew he was being completely truthful. But she still thinks that he's a complete idiot... no matter how flattered she felt right at that moment. She squeaked when the Dragon Slayer shifted both of her hands under one of his and wrapped his other arm around her waist.

He kept her hands pinned against his chest and easily lifted her off the ground. She barely noticed him walking, albeit a little unsteadily, towards her apartment. Natsu somehow kept their gazes locked as he stopped them in front of the building. The Celestial mage wiggled a little in his hold but he didn't put her down.

"You're drunk, Natsu," Lucy breathed out when she caught a whiff of the stale scent of alcohol, "Besides, we aren't together and even if you did mean it, I'm not going to have a dual wedding with Levy. It's her day tomorrow, well today, and when I get married someday, I want that to be my day as well."

"When we marry," The Fire Dragon Slayer corrected with a smirk, "It'll be our day and I'm not even that drunk!"

"Enough to want to marry me," The blonde laughed, gently pushing on his chest but he stubbornly refused to let her hands go, "Go home and get some rest Natsu, I left Happy alone in my apartment to bail you out."

The salmon-haired mage frowned at her but let the topic drop, for now, "Fine, but I still need you to be happy with me. Tell me what I can do to make you happy?"

"Hm. You can rest the alcohol off and then get ready in the morning," Lucy smiled, "And let me go. I need to get some rest too."

The frown on his face deepened and let her hands go with a sigh. She slid her hands up from his chest and onto his shoulders to steady herself when he reluctantly let her stand on her own two feet again. However, before she could pull back any further, he wrapped his other arm around her waist and flushed her body against him again. Lucy didn't seem to mind, instead, she actually laughed when he pouted at her.

"You're being awfully clingy tonight."

"What else?" Natsu asked, ignoring her jibe, "We could go out somewhere after the wedding. We could do whatever you want; a job, shopping. Anything."

"Natsu..." The blonde trailed off, her heart thudding in her chest. She quickly squashed her hope down it a shake of her head, "Don't make promises you can't keep. Just do what I asked and I'll be happy in the morning."

"But-" The Dragon Slayer cut himself off and sighed before pouting like a petulant child, "I don't like it when you're mad at me."

"I know," Lucy smiled tentatively, "I don't like being mad at you either but you're not the easiest person to love."

Natsu's eyes softened almost immediately, "I'll make it up to you. Promise."

"I'll believe you if you remember," The Celestial mage rolled her eyes.

Natsu chuckled and dipped low enough to plant a kiss so sloppily on her cheek that she questioned his earlier confession of his sobriety. Either way, she couldn't help but let out a quick squeal of laughter before escaping his arms. The Dragon Slayer reluctantly let her go and watched her walk up the steps to her apartment. He managed to tear his eyes away from her long enough to see a flash of blue from her apartment and a grin lifted at his lips. He glanced down at the blonde just to see her halfway through the doors and quickly called out her name. The blonde paused mid-step and then twisted around to peer at him questioningly.

"I'll remember," Natsu stated confidently, puffing out his chest, "I might be a little drunk, but not enough to forget my promise. I'll prove it to you."

This got Lucy's eyebrow to raise, "And how are you going to do that?"

"I..." The Dragon Slayer trailed off a little unsurely. His fists clenched and unclenched at his side but before his nerves could get the better of him, he puffed out his chest again and blurted a, "I'll kiss you!" and scrambled away before the blonde could get out a word.

When the blonde managed to haul herself into her apartment, she was convinced that the last few minutes were a figment of her imagination. She managed to overlook the very awake Happy who curled up on her pillow with a huge smile on his face. When her alarm blared that morning, she mechanically got up and got ready. She wasn't surprised to see a normally dressed Natsu sitting on her bed and talking to the blue exceed. She wasn't surprised when he sheepishly smiled at her and confessed that he left his tux in her apartment when he dropped Happy of the other night. And she wasn't even surprised when he walked out of the bathroom, struggling with his tie and decided to help him out.

She was, however, surprised when he told her that he didn't forget, told Happy to turn around (to which the exceed did with knowing giggles), gathered her up in his arms, and slanted his lips across hers. It lasted for only about two seconds but it still left the blonde reeling by the end of it. Natsu dragged her out of her apartment and looked extremely pleased while Happy kept on commenting on how red her face looked. When they arrived at the Cathedral, it was safe to say that her face - which was only tinged when they arrived - gradually flushed deeper and deeper each time someone pointed it out or asked if she was okay.

It didn't help that Happy floated by with his paws on his lips each time, snickering slyly.

"She liiiiiikes him~"