Author's note: I'm not sure where the ides for this came from, it just sort of appeared, and then wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it down. So I gave up and wrote it. :D

He was being watched...

He was being watched. He could feel it. The cold, prickly sensation ran down his spine but he made no physical indication to acknowledge it, thus keeping the watcher in the dark about his awareness. As far as they would know, he had no idea about their presence, therefore, giving him, the element of surprise. This would be useless however, if he could not glean the watcher's identity before they realised they'd been made.

Setting off on his new task, the Batman headed west, towards a clump of small bamboo stalks, and weaved his way along the rows. He couldn't discern any following footsteps, but then again, his pursuer might just be light on their feet...

Or not have feet...The strange thought sprung to mind before he could stop it, and he shook himself for thinking such foolish things. He knew that there were certain beings that didn't have feet, but he was sure that none of them would be stalking him here.

He shook his head again, before slowly discreetly glancing around. No one in sight...unless they're invisible...

His eyes widened. Not at the thought, but at the fact that he'd had the thought in the first place.
"What has gotten into me today?" He muttered to himself, turning around to find himself face to face with some hyacinths. Maybe it's the plants...No. It's not the plants. There were plenty of flowers and plants of all kind at the manor. He was just being paranoid!

Batman took a deep breath to clear his head, and promptly sneezed. Damn! Time to get away from the hyacinths.

All the time he'd been thinking, he had unconsciously been trying to pinpoint the location of his watcher. And now he had it.

Moving out from behind the bamboo, he decided to take a roundabout route to his destination, hoping to keep up the appearance of unawareness. With this in mind, he headed towards some Christmas trees, vaguely noting, They're out early, before scouting round them and pushing his way past the wayward branches.

He went behind them, therefore placing them between him and his watcher, keeping him out of sight andthen set off towards some clay pots; which looked forlornly neglected by everyone.

He ran his finger around the rim, hoping they'd mistake him for examining it, before taking a final step to his left. If his calculations were correct...Of course they're correct! I'm Batman!...the owner of the watching eyes should be directly behind him...

BEEP BEEP BOP BA DA! (he really needed to change that ring tone!)

He sighed to himself and reluctantly pulled his mobile from his pocket. Well, at least it might look less suspicious this way...whilst allowing time for his watcher to escape...he cursed and put the phone to his ear. Immediately, the worried voice of his butler accosted him from the small speaker.

"Master Bruce?"

"Alfred, what's up?" he didn't even know Alfred had a mobile, he'd probably borrowed one off an innocent passerby who couldn't refuse the Englishman's charming manners.

"I seem to have lost track of you sir."

"Well don't worry Alfred, I'm not dead yet." The usual sarcasm came into play. "I've just got to find something. I'll meet you by the car in a minute." And with that, he hung up, knowing there'd be hell to pay later. He could already imagine the look on Alfred's face. Oh boy. Before he became any more distracted with thoughts on how his manservant would get his revenge, he turned his attention back to his hunt.

Strangely enough, the watching eyes didn't seem to have moved as far as he could tell. Deciding to not waste his good fortune, he tensed himself. Swiftly turning himself around to face whatever it was, automatically dropping his body into a defensive stance, before quickly straightening up again, a small smile playing across his lips.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A couple of minutes later, billionaire Bruce Wayne came waltzing out of Homebase's garden section with a small parcel under his arm. Alfred was waiting for him by the exit with the Rolls Royce, trying not to look irritated by the stares he seemed to be on the receiving end of from the other occupants of the car park. When he spotted his master coming towards him with a smug grin on his face, he gave up the battle and decided to be very irritated indeed, but without looking too insubordinate.

"Master Bruce, I trust you found what you were looking for?" he enquired pointedly.

"Oh yes Alfred," came his master's cheeky reply, followed by his patented grin, as Alfred ushered him into the Rolls. "For you." He continued, removing a package from under his arm and presenting it to the now somewhat startled butler. But Alfred hadn't been his minder all these years to be shocked for long, and his normal expression soon resumed pride of place on his facial features.

"Why thank you Master Bruce. I shall open it later after we have returned to the manor." He said as he got in to the car and placed it reverently on the front passenger seat. Then business returned as usual. "You have a board meeting tomorrow at eight..."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That night, while Bruce was at some charity event or other, Alfred took the chance to unwrap his present from the master. He had to admit, that he had been itching to do so ever since they'd got back from Homebase, where he's been shopping for something to brighten up the manor. But, he hadn't wanted to give Bruce the satisfaction of opening it in front of him, so he's waited until he was alone. Call it payback for Bruce's earlier wanderings and being hung up on. You may not think that this would really be revenge, but Alfred knew that Bruce would have wanted to see his reaction to whatever it was, and Alfred wasn't the sort to do anything drastic, so this would do.

He took his customary seat at the table, put down his cup of tea, and picked up the parcel. It was rather small in size, but seemed to be in a cardboard box as well as wrapped in white paper. Alfred (correctly) gleaned that this was so he couldn't work out what it was without actually opening it.

So, with that thought, Alfred carefully started plucking the sellotape from the tissue paper without ripping it. When that was done, he carefully unravelled the paper from the package and laid it to one side. Now came the box.

After deducing that even his expert fingers wouldn't be able to get into this box without help, he enlisted the aid of a handy pen knife he just happened to always keep in his pocket. He slid the knife through the tape keeping the sides together, and started peeling back the folds. He was dutifully rewarded with some bubble wrap.

Sighing at the suspense of it all he carefully peeled back the layers of bubble wrap; and there, sitting quite happily in his wrappings, was a typical, grinning little garden gnome.

~Fin~

Disclaimer: I don't own Batman, Alfred, Homebase, or sadly even a garden gnome... :(

Please review if you read this, it doesn't take long and really means a lot to me. Tell me if you liked it, and I appreciate constructive criticisms.