Donc voilà une nouvelle O.S., en anglais cette fois-ci (que j'ai fait relire par une amie mais qui peut encore contenir quelques erreurs, notamment sur le possessif que je maîtrise assez mal). Purement humoristique, j'espère qu'elle vous plaira.
So here is a new story, in english this once (a friend of mine re-read it, but there still may be some mistakes, so if you see one, just tell me). Purposely humoristic, I hope you'll like it.
.
The Matter of Sharing a Room With Sirius Black
.
University had brought lots of exciting and wonderful things to Remus Lupin, such as freedom, brilliant professors and a new typewriter. What definitely wasn't a part of these new wonderful things was sharing a room with someone else. Here we must specify that the matter didn't exactly lie in the fact of sharing his room itself (even if it was his first time, since he was an only child). No, the matter was actually more about whom he had to share his room with. And surely, the one who had matched students together in their rooms either had a terrible sense of humour, or hated Remus Lupin. Nothing else could have explained why someone would have thought of it as a good idea to make Remus Lupin share his room with Sirius Black.
Now, I think, to clear things a little, we should precise what kind of people exactly were Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. As it is, we'll start with the former. Remus Lupin was everything you could expect from a student in poetry. Literature (oh that Great Mother !) played a huge part in the life of Remus Lupin, who liked to think of himself as part of another world. Literature was the milk Remus Lupin had grown up on. You were more likely to see him in the library or outside reading under a tree, hanging around in his white shirt and corduroy trousers. In a few words, Remus Lupin was quiet, smart, sensitive and mildly delusional. Before we can get any further in that terrible story, I think it is time for a little description of our second character, namely, Sirius Black. As it was to be expected, Sirius Black was loud, obnoxious, reckless and quite realistic if not a bit down-to-earth. Oh, and may I add, that even if appearances did not do justice to this specific aspect of Sirius Black, he was also quite smart. But after all, it was his own choice not to show it. So here we are, with only one common point between our two characters, more likely never to be discovered at all, hidden under the sound of awfully loud music, because yes, of course, Sirius Black liked his music loud and rebellious, so let's just say that The Clash were to blame for Remus' ignorance of Sirius' brilliance.
And as a cataclysm never comes alone (everyone knows that), Sirius Black also had a particularly noisy best friend with which he liked to spend most of his time. Including his bedroom time. That one person was James Potter. Tall, athletic, friendly and grinning too much for his own good. Well, the last part according to Sirius Black. Of course Potter belonged to the rowing club and was always followed by hopeful glances from feather-brained women. It was difficult for professors and not-out-of-their-mind people to say what they hated the most about Sirius Black and James Potter. How loud they were? Or how stupidly rebellious they were? Hard to choose, you must admit. Since Remus Lupin was part of the second category (on-their-right-minds people), he was currently dealing with that issue. And after a month worth of sharing a room with Sirius Black and James Potter (since they really were always together), Remus Lupin was starting to think that university life was not so much of a good idea after all.
In fact, before this month, Remus Lupin had never heard about Sirius Black. They both nearly fainted at that new. Well, not exactly. Lupin nearly fainted when he saw who he was to share his room with. Black nearly fainted when the former made that statement. Really, all this hard work and there he was, crossing the path of someone who had never heard about him before. According to Sirius Black, this first meeting had been nothing but outrageous. Well for once, both of them were sharing the same thoughts. Maybe you are a bit confused, aren't you ? I've just said that Remus Lupin had never heard about Sirius Black before, and yet he nearly fainted when he saw who he was to share his room with. Let's be a little bit more explicit. The fact is that one does not need to know anything about Sirius Black to be able to tell what kind of person he is. So yes, when Remus spotted Sirius Black « Sex Pistols » tee-shirt, his leather jacket and the fag hanging at the corner of his mouth, that spoke nothing but the end of quietness, he nearly fainted.
To be fair with Remus' brilliance, we must admit that yes, of course, his expectations about the end of all quietness (in his own bedroom at least) were right. Sirius Black had actually tried to make friend with Remus Lupin who (dear little soul) had not noticed that such actions were being led on him, and only wondered why Black would ask him about his favourite band while he was reading a book, which obviously meant that he was in no mood to conversation. That was the second blow to Sirius Black ego. But don't worry ladies, the thing was mostly intact since it's so wide that really, two little blows could only do insignificant harm. So since Remus Lupin was unable to recognise a fail attempt at friendship (or any attempt at friendship at all to be right), and Sirius Black was unable to understand why someone wouldn't be friend with him, our story was kind of doomed since the beginning.
As most situations, the one we are currently talking about had a not-to-be-crossed border. And of course, Sirius Black being the reckless person he was, crossed it. He crossed it something like one week after he actually began to share that room with Remus Lupin. And being the diva he was, he crossed it dramatically. So here, let me just tell you that shameful story. It was a friday, in the end of the afternoon (or the beginning of the evening, as you prefer), and the week-end was just beginning. Outside, the sky seemed to hesitate between different shades of pink, orange, or grey, and a cool breeze was coming from the window. Remus was lying on his bed, reading that oh-so-wondeful poem of Keats, namely « Ode to a Nightingale ». Actually, he was thinking that he was Keats (we have already talked about his little problem when dealing with reality). Probably some time around he left out a happy sigh, because being Keats was rather pleasant (well the part about writing wonderful poetry, no the one about dying abroad after months of suffering). That is when the door had tragically banged open, forcing Remus out of his reverie to deal with Sirius Black, crossing the door with another man at the end of his arm. Another man that was not James Potter. Another man that was soon pushed on the bed and snog senseless by no one else than our dear Sirius Black. And here is the moment when the hero (Remus Lupin) cleared his throat, and Black actually noticed that there was someone else in the room. Which was soon followed by Black greeting Lupin and asking him to leave room.
That terrible evening was the first meeting between Remus Lupin and that bitch named reality. And also a painful meeting between his body and the floor after Sirius Black application. Because really, that was too much to handle for poor little Remus Lupin. That fateful night is also a great occasion for me to introduce you to a hot-tempered red-head, known under the name of Lily Evans. As a prefect, Lily Evans was in charge of the quietness of that particular area. May I add that it was a good thing that this special area was to be kept quiet by no other than Lily Evans, because really, dealing with Sirius Black and James Potter was not an easy thing. I should also add that this night had been particularly hard on both Remus Lupin and Lily Evans (well, also on James Potter and Sirius Black, but don't pity them too much). So, where was I ? Oh, yes, Remus on the floor, and a bed suffering from the abuse of Sirius Black and another boy (pity we will never know his name). This is the moment when Lily Evans entered the room. Everything that followed was nothing but chaos. All we need to say is that the extras were : a very gobsmacked Remus Lupin, a very angry (and screaming) Lily Evans, a very rebellious Sirius Black and a very amazed James Potter. The consequences were that Mr-what's-his-name had to leave and that Sirius Black wasn't, under any circumstances, to bring boys back in his room to shag them. Oh, and another consequence, even if it was totally unexpected, was James falling in love with Lily (not that she asked for it, mind you, quite the opposite in fact).