I Lack a Certain Quality

by Auttzthoughtz

Dean is on the internet surfing 'the usual' when Cas shows up unannounced. Dean immediately gets shy and shuts it all down, and all Castiel wants to know is why. The fluff exists and the smuts exists here. Destiel, with a smidgen of Sabriel on the side if you look close enough. Read, Review - ENJOY.

"I lack a certain," Castiel says, clearing his throat as he walks up to Dean looking at pornography on Sam's laptop, realizing as he says the words the social grace he lacks.

"Skill," Dean says quickly as he notices Cas, quickly shutting the laptop. He looks back at Cas with a cautionary look on his face. "You saw nothing."

Cas raises his eyebrow at Dean, but turns to look away respectfully as he can muster. It's only seconds before he is looking back at Dean and the computer that Dean is pulling back open.

Dean takes a moment, and with one click of a button on the keyboard he is pleased to find the evidence disappears. "All right," Dean mumbles, mostly to himself before turning back to a confused Cas. "What do you want, then?"

"Dean, why are you ashamed in front of me?" Castiel asks, tilting his head to the side.

"What?"

"Why are you ashamed of your pornography now more than most times? When Sam is around you don't care much," Castiel observes slowly, "but when it's just us, you hide it in shame. Why is that?"

"Same reason we shut off the pizza man, Cas, it's weird for dudes to watch porn together," Dean replies huffily, standing up from his chair. "What did you come for?"

"It's not odd, Dean, unless you make it awkward as you just did," Cas shoots back at Dean, taking Dean's previous seat. "I want you to show me."

"Show you…"

"The pornography," Castiel asks gently.

"That's fucked up, Cas," Dean replies huskily. "You can't, I mean, I can't – that's, weird."

"I just told you-"

"It is your personal opinion. Mine is that it's an uncomfortable idea. Let's move on to business," Dean says quickly, hoping to change the subject.

Cas turns to the computer and starts pressing random buttons, trying to summon it back. It takes about two minutes for Dean to burst out laughing at Castiel's efforts, and another two for Cas to almost completely destroy Sam's computer by pressing the wrong button combinations and for Dean to step in. Dean tries to fix it, to no avail, and he shuts the laptop. "Now I can't show ya Cas, it's broken."

"It's a fair excuse for you," Castiel whispers.

Dean takes a deep breath. "What do you want me to do? I threw out my old mags, you trashed Sammy's computer, and – well, there is no other and, am I right?"

"You would see it that way," Castiel replies grimly. "I should leave."

"What do you want from me, Cas? Do you want me to strip down for you and show you what to like? To beg you for love – because I am not the begging kind, and dude, I can't," Dean answers firmly as he stands up.

"Fuck you," Cas says quickly and pops away.

Dean is completely taken aback, and that's when Sammy enters the room. He takes one look at Dean and decides it's better not to ask before he goes to sit and look at his computer. "Dude, we went over this – some sites have viruses."

Dean shakes his head. "Cas was playing with it, I don't know what he did."

Sam takes a breath before turning around to look at Dean as Dean goes to sit on the bed. "Should I even ask?"

"I don't even know what to say if you did ask, Cas just said the 'F' word, I mean – that's gotta be pretty extreme for an angel, right?" Dean asks.

Sam's eyes widen. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything. He came in here asking why I was so ashamed of my porn and then he broke the computer trying to find how to bring the stuff back up because he was curious or something and broke it. Then he still wanted me to show him and I just," Dean saw a look grace Sam's face. His eyes narrowed. "What do you know?"

"Cashasatinybitofacrushonyou," Sam says all in one fast breath. "He came to talk to me, the guy was – well, he was desperate for advice. I just told him to find a way in wherever he could to bring it up, and I mean, I guess he thought…and I didn't know you were going to tell him off. He wasn't trying to offend you or anything, he is just curious, it's Cas for godsakes."

"What the hell – I just, I don't even, but – fucking hell Sammy," Dean replies with in panicked breaths. "I didn't mean to – oh fuck, go away. Go find somewhere to be right now."

"Dean, I, I just got back in," Sam replies in a small voice.

Dean shakes his head. "I need a minute alone, go to the diner with your computer or a book or something, I need some time to process some of this mess."

"I'm sorry," Sam replies as he walks out the door with his stuff. "I was only trying to help."

The door closes behind Sam and Dean takes a few deep breaths. "Damnit Cas," he curses under his breath, starting to push things around and make a mess on the floor. He falls into a fit of anger and confusion and fucking hurt of uncertainty and falls into a pile of papers and junk on the floor.

Cas feels Dean's pain and rushes back, finding that Dean fell on a rather sharp knife. "Dean-"

Dean gets up slowly, shaking his head. "Don't, I'm fine Cas."

"Don't be stupid," Cas says bluntly as he goes into the bathroom to get a first aid kit. "You aren't allowed to die to be stupid."

Dean chuckles, thinking for a moment before letting an awkward moment of emotion finally slip out in the most comfortable way he could muster, still stumbling a bit over his words. "I love you man, you know that, right?"

Castiel pauses after he strips Dean of his shirt to take a better look at his wound. "This is not a moment I care about those details Dean. I need to check and clean your wound further. You need to strip."

"Excuse me?" Dean asks, feeling like he's going freaking delirious.

Castiel clears his throat. "You fell on the knife awkwardly, I need to check on the wound in better lighting, and I need a water source to clean you with and the shower is the most convenient option. Do you have any more questions, or can I proceed with making sure your wound is not fatal?"

"Can't you just heal me with your hands with the glowy thing?" Dean asks.

Cas sighs impatiently. "I want to make sure I don't heal it the wrong way, or that it won't cause permanent damage if it hit a nerve. I will wait in the bathroom."

Castiel goes ahead of Dean and waits, sitting patiently on the toilet seat cover. Dean gives in and finally starts stripping down until he's gotten to his boxers. "Do I have to take these off too?" Dean asks in the closest to shy that his gruff voice can manage.

Castiel weakly smiles as he turns Dean's backside around to face him. "It seems to have barely grazed past the skin. There shouldn't be any permanent damage. I still want you to wash it out. So yes, Dean, you have to take those off to clean out the wound. Can you reach it or will you need help?"

Dean tries to reach around to the wound but finds he can't reach it right. He surrenders and looks at Cas. "I need help."

Castiel nods, and starts stripping his clothes. Dean's eyes grow wide. "Dude, what the hell are you doing?"

"These happen to be my only clothes, I don't want them to get soaked," Castiel says as he strips out of his coat and suit. "I don't mean to offend you."

"You didn't offend me earlier, Cas, it was just – uh, unexpected," Dean says vulnerably as he strips out of the last of his clothes. "Just so you know, we are taking you clothes shopping. That get-up is getting a little worn out."

Cas maintains his gentlemanly nature and refrains from doing a full up-and-down look at Dean. "My "get-up" is not of my most concern right now," he says as he strips the last of his garments off.

Dean, however, can't help where his eyes wander. He's not disappointed by his view of Cas, something he thinks very few have seen. It takes him a minute or two to snap back into focus. "Right, shower, injury, sure," Dean mumbles as he turns away from Cas and turns the knob in the shower.

"Dean, I said you don't have to be ashamed in front of me, I meant it," Cas says before following Dean into the shower and grabbing a washcloth, kneeling down behind Dean and cleaning the wound thoroughly.

"I am not ashamed, Cas," Dean starts. "I just, uh, I don't exactly – I've never, can't you just like read my mind or something and get the picture?"

"You've never found yourself attracted to a male before and my vessel is a male, I understand perfectly fine Dean," Castiel mumbles. He takes a moment to re-examine the wound before letting his hands hover over it and glow to heal the hunter. "I just don't understand why you are so shy around me. I know you well enough, Dean Winchester, to know that with anyone else you are anything but."

Dean feels the wound close up like it never happened and sighs with relief. He turns to look at Cas. "Thanks, uh, for the healing, I guess."

"I would say it was my pleasure, but I don't like the idea of you hurting yourself again," Cas replies.

Dean grabs Castiel's arm before the angel could leave the shower and turns him around, shoving him against the wall facing him. "You asked Sam for advice about flirting with me?"

Cas gulps. "I am – uh, is sorry the word here? I was just looking for help in an area I have no experience in."

"Cas, okay, uh, here it goes," Dean says slowly. "You are the most innocent person I've ever come across, and I tip-toe around you because I don't want it to be you getting corrupted and then hating me and then – I don't know what the hell would happen, but I don't wanna lose you Cas."

"Dean," Cas begins before he takes a look at Dean's shoulders. "Did you know those never fade?" Cas says as he fits his hands to the marks he left on Dean. "They are our connection. Where it began, it's us. There was a point that I could have, and was told to, give up searching for you. I never did. You are my other half, Dean Winchester, and nothing you or we could do would ruin that."

"Cas," Dean begins, getting cut off by Cas.

Cas whips Dean around to be the one with his back on the shower wall. "Stop talking," Cas whispers as he leans forward and connects his lips with Dean's.

Dean is hesitant at first, not knowing what the hell to do. Just knowing that this is beyond weird and he wasn't expecting any of it and – oh fuck, why is he kissing Cas back. It feels good in a way that Dean just didn't expect that it could and he finds himself jutting his hips forward, desperate for more contact with his angel counterpart.

Cas pulls his lips away at the effort. "Dean, I-"

"Dean, hey, I am not trying to bug anybody in here but do you know where that book I had yesterday went?" Sam asks, knocking on the door to the bathroom.

Dean bursts out laughing. Cas tilts his head to the side, confused.

Cas is the one to respond. "Sorry Sam, I don't think Dean had seen your book. He's too busy laughing to tell though, perhaps you should come back later when he's not-"

Dean leans forward and catches Castiel's lips with his own for a brief moment before pulling away and shaking his head at Cas. "Sammy, you know I don't pay attention to your books, can you – uh – come back later?"

"I told you he had company," Gabe muses in a whisper from behind Sam, giggling.

Sam flushes. "That's not funny, can you just – not laugh at the fact that I did not need to hear that?"

"You better answer, or he's gonna think you are gone and scar you for life," Gabriel answers louder.

"Fuck you, Gabe!" Dean answers from the shower.

"I would say my fucking pleasure, but I think Cassie's got that one covered. Come on Sam, let's find a room your brother is not currently occupying and go at it like monkeys," Gabriel practically yells before rushing out the door.

"He's kidding, Dean, really," Sam stumbles over his words as he tries to pass off the truth as a lie.

Dean is in the shower shaking his head at Cas. He replies, telling Sam to just get out already. After that, he is back at Castiel's full attention. "We need to, uh, maybe get dressed or something."

"What comes in the category of 'or something' here?" Castiel asks, trying to be seductive but slips and falls onto the shower floor.

Dean looks down at him sympathetically. "It was a valiant attempt."

"I suppose I lack a certain quality," Castiel says, taking Dean's offered hands and standing back up.

"Would it be too ironic if I said grace?" Dean replies with a chuckle, earning a smack on the arm.

Castiel sighs. "When I say my people skills are rusty, I am appointing that to all areas. I would say especially this particular area."

"I kind of figured that much," Dean says, turning around to switch off the shower. He steps out and grabs a towel to wrap around himself before handing one over to Cas. He notices that Cas has a sad look on his face, that face that says someone's worried they have done something wrong. "Hey, I just want to go in the other room. Here, take this and wrap it. Come with me."

Cas nods and takes the towel, doing what he told slowly, fumbling with trying to fold it over right. Dean laughs softly, walking forward a bit. "Here, let me," Dean whispers as he wraps it properly and tucks it right. "See, not too difficult."

Castiel nods. "It makes me feel foolish, that I cannot do what humans consider such simple tasks."

Dean shrugs. "Humans are taught these things, have these things drilled into their head from youth. You, on the other hand, have been taught how to be an angel all your life – it's like taking on a whole new species. It's like me wanting to learn to be a dog."

Castiel walks out of the bathroom and sits down on the bed, waiting and watching as Dean follows him inside the room. "Do you want to talk?"

Dean takes a seat beside Cas. "No."

"I can only guess what to do," Castiel says, letting his hand reach up and graze the side of Dean's face. "You have to tell me if I am doing something wrong."

Dean nods in understanding, waiting for Castiel to make the first move. Which, of course, Castiel does – he reaches forward and collapses their lips together. His one hand moves down from Dean's face down to the hunter's hip, the other reaches up and tangles in Dean's hair, holding them together like his life depended on it.

Cas uses his grip on Dean's hip to push the hunter back on the bed, following him as he crawls up the bed after him, onto Dean's lap, not caring that both their towels have slipped away.

Dean thrusts up his hips, desperate for any contact he can get from the angel. Without warning, Castiel removes their towels. After grinding their cocks together deliciously a few times together he lifts his hips up, and then he starts descending his entrance upon Dean's member.

Dean lets out choked moans. "Cas, you, isn't that going to hurt?"

"Angel, remember?" Cas replies as he finishes sinking down, eyes flicking back up to Dean's. "Is this alright?"

"A little – okay, totally fucking hot," Dean admits as he starts letting his hands reach up and stroke along Castiel's thighs first, cautiously. "I wish I could show you how you look like this."

Castiel sighs. "Not feeling…nervous?"

"I don't know, Cas," Dean says, gripping harder on Castiel's hips, "it's a bit difficult to think with an angel ready to start rocking on my cock at any given second."

Castiel's hands move to Dean's shoulders and he starts to ride his hunter. It's not the easiest rhythm or angle to start with, but Castiel seems to be starting to getting the hang of it a bit before Dean uses his grip on Castiel's hips to flip them over. Castiel looks up at Dean, searching his eyes. "I couldn't help myself," Dean mumbles before he starts thrusting hard and fast into the angel's body.

Castiel can hardly catch his breath. The sounds coming from Dean are more animalistic than human, fucking the night away. When it's over, and it's a longer stretch before that's the case, Dean immediately pulls away like he's been burnt.

Dean stands up from the bed, he can't look at Castiel. He feels like he's done something wrong, tainted the angel, ruined everything. Dean's scared that the second he closes his eyes the angel will flash away and won't come back. Castiel taps into their connection to understand what Dean's feeling before he follows after Dean, wrapping his arms around Dean from behind. "I won't go anywhere until you tell me to."

"Please stay," Dean asks, his voice cracking at the end.

Castiel nods, Dean feeling the angel's hair make the motions against his back. "I'll be here as long as you want me here, Dean Winchester."

Dean turns around and kisses Castiel one more time, full of more passion and love than any of the others. Dean's letting himself being vulnerable, trusting Castiel a final time.

After a few minutes they get themselves cleaned up and Dean lets Castiel borrow a pair of pajama pants. They are both dressed seconds before Sam comes through the door, looking the slightest bit disheveled. Sam flushes bright red. "Hey, so is Cas staying with us tonight?"

"He's staying with us indefinitely, Sammy," Dean says as he crawls into bed, waving for the angel to join him. Even though Castiel doesn't often sleep, he will attempt it for his Winchester he decides as he crawls in beside Dean and curls up in his lover's arms.

Sam smiles as he grabs pajamas and heads towards the bathroom. "That's great, I mean, really."

Dean smirks back. "Hey, Sam, you've got a little something…on your face."

Sam bites his tongue, slamming the bathroom door behind him. Once the door's shut, Dean's positive he can hear Gabriel's voice on the other side with Sam calming him down – because at least Gabriel gets that he's joking.

They may lack certain qualities, and they may be new to functional relationships – but that doesn't mean that they'll never find their way back home.

Author's Note: A little cheesier of an ending than I originally intended for this? Perhaps. I may later post a shopping montage with Dean, Cas, and Charlie – just for fun, because it's possible in my world to do these sorts of things and Cas needs clothes. If you haven't guessed, this pre-dates current canon by a lot and if you were expecting current fic I apologize because this idea got stuck in my head and once I had it, it wasn't going away. Well, if you liked it let me know and that would be especially appreciated.

With Love,

Auttzthoughtz.