It all started on da third flur coridor on a chily and cold aftanoon in may. Umbrige wos partroling wiv Filch becus the studnets wer bein little shits (the warm weva wos gettin to der heds!1!11!). Den sudenly two studints ran down da coridor flying spells at eachotha, dey wer enemies- HARRI POTTA AND DRAC MALFOY! As drac wos runnin afta harri, he shouted "EXPECTO FERTILIZSASHION!11!" but da spell mist and insted hit argus filch and umbrige...dey wud hav 2 spend da rest of der lives caring 4 da new child. Filch scriched as ovarees devlopd in hiz belly and da new arrivle started 2 blosm lyk a pink pritty daisy in winta.
*l8r in da gr8 hall*
"LISEN UP! I HAV AN ANNOUNCEMENT! FILCH IS PREGERS WIV UMBRIGES BAYB. DIS MEENS DAT DEY LEEV DA SKWL 4 A FEW WEEKS. PLS BE RESPECTFUL. thx dat is all" dumblydore sed in a calm and soothin manna.
"Filch im so scard, wat if we cant be gud parents" Umbrige whisperd sexily as her long brown hair tikled Filch's anus. "Bayb of curse we will be gud parents, wen dis bayb cums out of mi, we can hav passionate sex and just leev it with snap and mcgonagall 4 a few dais (they r noe a cuple). "Filch u r so romantic!11111!11!111111 i cant waet until we get 2 hold r butiful child in r arms. I bet he has ur big penis (dey found out da sex of da baby earli). Den suddenly, a soft meow cam from filch's uturus "meow" and filch's and umbrige's hands met as dey reeched to feel the baby purring. "Lets call in kiten" sed umbrige nazily and soon dey wer pasionity kising, der tungs fitin 4 dominance like 2 swords in a batle 4 dominance. It woz so romantic dat da bayb purred hapily agen.