Hey guys, Unstoppable Nachos here, and I had this feeling of hatred. Towards Jean. Also felt in the mood for some AoT crack. So, this will be SO RANDOM even Sherlock Holmes wouldn't be able to comprehend it. Enjoy

WARNING: Lot's of Jean deaths (Feel free to keep count!)

It was an early morning in the Survey Corps. base. Krista was cooking some bacon (A/N: I'm assuming they know what bacon is.) over a fire. There was a lot of grease due to the bacon cooking. Jean was currently hunting Mikasa to ask her out. Again. For like the 900th time. But, aside from Connie, Armin, Sasha, Ymir, and Eren, no one was counting. He finally cornered her leaving a bathroom on the 2nd floor.

"Hey Mikasa do you-"

"No."

She quickly walked away leaving a sad Jean to silently cry to himself.

HALF AN HOUR LATER

Everyone began to make their way to the dining hall. Sasha, leading the way, was the first to smell it.

"BAAACOONN!"

She ran extremely fast, and was gone in a second. The remaining members of the 104th looked at each other.

"So, who has to go stop her from eating all the breakfast this time?" Connie asked.

Eren quickly grabbed Jean and threw him out the door and locked it, leaving him outside with a hungry Sasha, who was cornering a terrified Krista.

"Where is the bacon?! I MUST EAT IT NOW!" Sasha yelled, causing Krista to yelp.

"I-I left it by the fire!" she said, before running away inside the building.

Sasha ran towards the fire, and Jean followed her. He saw her pick up the pan, and Jean snuck up behind her.

"JEAN! LOOK AT THE BEAUTIFUL BA-" She didn't finish her sentence, as some of the grease from the bacon landed in the fire. Now, Jean, his unfortunate(A/N: NOT! HA!) self was standing VERY close to the fire. He was looking towards it when the grease dripped into it. The fire shot up VERY high, and incinerated his face. He screamed very loudly, slowly dying a very painful death. His 'beautiful' face was burned and scarred. He died, wishing that he had the chance to press his lips against Mikasa's and do more... questionable acts with her.

Sasha screamed, and alerted the rest of the 104th. Mikasa and Eren both looked at Jean's dead body, and jumped for joy. Mikasa screamed about she and Eren could finally be together in public, and Eren pulled her into a very passionate kiss. They completely ignored the rest of the 104th, who were sad about the death of their friend. Sasha was in tears, because she was the one who caused him to die. She placed the bacon strips on his chest, and ordered everyone to dig a grave for him. Only Connie started digging, as Eren and Mikasa had vanished, Ymir was holding Krista and stroking her hair, trying to comfort her. Sasha was busy looking for some potatoes that she saw earlier.

An hour later, the 104th cadets, Captains Levi and Hange and Commander Ervin all gathered to bury Jean. He would be forever known as the one recon member not killed by a titan. No one said anything at the funeral.

A year later, everyone had forgotten about his existence. Mikasa and Eren were married, Ymir and Krista were dating, and Connie and Sasha were engaged. Everyone was still trying to understand how Connie and Sasha got together. But, that, my friends, is a story for another time.

So, how did you like it? I poured A LOT of my Jean hate into this, and I don't know. The bashing was, excuse me for an overuse line, Over 900- fuck it im not even going to do it. Anyways, please, RATE AND REVIEW, AND GOOD NIGHT!

Oh yeah, Oh Great, I will try to update that but I decided to wrap it up in Ch.20. I don't know about a sequel, but if It does happen, well.. it'll happen! Ok bye now.