HEY YALL! This is my 2nd one-shot and my 3rd story! YAY FOR ME! LOL! Im finally venturing out and doin other stories. THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!
I hope yall enjoy reading this cuz I REALLY enjoyed writing it! PLEASE REVIEW! LUV YALL! SMOOCHES!
Disclaimer: Um…do I look like J.K Rowling? Ummmmm…OF COUSE NOT! SO I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER! GOT IT! LOL!
Music starts & audience chants JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY...
Jerry comes out, goes into the audience and shakes peoples hands
Jerry: Thank you! Thank you!...Now today, we have Minerva Mcgonagal. She is a proffessor at the well-known Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry and she has come here today because she has a secret to tell her husband. NOW LETS BRING OUT MINERVA MCGONAGAL! Audience applauds
Mcgonagal walks out wearing a black leather catsuit accessorized with a matching whip. She sits down
Jerry: Welcome Minerva! Whoah...that doesnt look to much like proffessor attire..mumbles in mic...Looks like she should be on a mission..
Audience laughs at Jerrys corny ass joke
Jerry: Well, Minerva, What secret do you wanna tell your husband?
Mcgonagal: Im here to let my husband know that, not only am i working at Hogwarts as a proffessor, i am also a Dominatrix/stripper at 'Humping Hippogriffs Strip Club for Witches and Wizards Who Want To Get There Freak On'
Audience hisses
Jerry: mumbles in mic Whoa...talk about a hot GRANDmama
Audience also laughs at this lame ass joke Guy plays catcall sound effect
Audience laughs again
Mcgonagal: Im also here to tell him that im cheating on him Audience boos
Mcgonagal: Awww SHUT THE BLEEP UP! You dont BLEEP BLEEP Know me!
Audience member: Yells SIT YOUR OLD BLEEP DOWN LADY, BEFORE YOU BREAK A BLEEP HIP!
Guy plays crunching sound effect Audience laughs...AGAIN
Mcgonagal: Shouts You dont want none of this BLEEP I'LL BLEEP You up! YOU BLEEPin BLEEP
(Mcgonagal runs into the audience but Steve catches her before she makes it to the audience member)
Audience chants STEVE STEVE STEVE STEVE STEVE STEVE STEVE...
Jerry: I guess we should bring out your husband then. Dont forget that he's seen and heard everything backstage.LETS BRING OUT...SEVERUS SNAPE!
Audience applauds
Snape: WHAT THE BLOODY HELL, MINERVA! You're a...STRIPPER?
Mcgonagal: Yes Severus, AND a Dominatrix
Snape: Why didnt you tell me Minerva? Why couldnt you have just told me?
Mcgonagall: Would you have believed me, Severus?
Snape ponders
Snape: No...probably not...BUT THATS NOT THE POINT! You'r a stripper/dominatrix PLUS YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME! WHO IS IT? WHO ARE YOU CHEATING WITH?
Mcgonagal: I'd rather not say...you'll see when he comes out...well...when Jerry brings him out...he said he would like for his name to remain anonomous.
Jerry: Well...lets bring out...BALBUS FUMBLEDORE!
(A/N: just in case yall didnt know...it's Dumbeldore..LOL)
Audience boos and Dumbeldore runs out really fast and begins to attack Snape
Snape and Dumbeldore are throwing blows until Steve stops them
Audience chants STEVE STEVE STEVE STEVE STEVE
Guy plays Bell sound effect...Snape and Dumbeldore go at it again, while Mcgonagal stands back and watches
Steve stops Snape and DD again
Dumbeldore: We're in love,Severus...me and Minerva are apparating back to Hogwarts together.
Snape: NO! She's Apparating back to Hogwarts WITH ME!
Dumbeldore: OVER MY DEAD BODY!
Snape: I thought that had already been arranged...I could have sworn i killed you not to long ago.
Dumbeldore ponders
Dumbeldore: Yeaaaaaaaaah...I new something was weird about this
Snape: You know what? It doesnt even matter...IM GONNA WHIP YOUR ARSE NOW!
Guy plays bell sound effect Steve slicks let DD and Snape go, so that they could fight Snape and DD run back at each other and throws blows
Dumbeldore: While fighting Im gonna BLEEP Your BLEEP...and BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP You BLEEP BLEEP
Snape: Suck my BLEEP You old MOtha-BLEEP
Dubeldore and Snape continues to fight while Mcgonagal watches
Music plays and camera move across the audience...then back to Jerry
Jerry: We'll be right back after this commercial break
Dumbeldore and Snape are still fighting
Commercial break starts