PoKéMoN

Poison Pairings – A Team Rocket adventure with a hint of QueerShipping

By BenRG

Legal Disclaimer

Pokémon, the Pocket Monsters, their human friends and enemies are all the copyright and trademark properties of Nintendo Entertainment, Game Freak Software, Creatures Inc., and 4Kids Productions. No violation of any legal property intended.

This is a non-profit work for free distribution through the Worldwide Web.

Author's Notes

There is no great inspiration for this story. It is the result of a debate on the Serebii.net Forums about whether or not Team Rocket are strong Pokémon Trainers and what (if anything) would improve their performance. This debate, and the plot of the Season 2 episode 'Wherefore Art Thou, Pokémon?' inspired this good-natured little tale.

This story is set about two-thirds of the way through Ash's Johto League journey, long after 'Forest Grumps' and shortly after 'The Heartbreak of Brock'.

QueerShipping is the belief that, if Jessie and James were ever to have a romantic relationship, Jessie would be the one wearing the pants.

Censor: PG – for some adult concepts and a little innuendo about unconventional relationships

Ages: Ash is 13; Misty is 14½; Brock is 18; Jessie and James are both 26.

Teaser

High over the wooded foothills of the Mount Silver range, an unusual aircraft soared through the thermals. It was a fairly typical-looking hot air balloon apart from one thing. Its' envelope was in the style of a huge Meowth's head. Those who knew this distinctive aircraft knew it to be the personal air transport of three members of the criminal organisation Team Rocket.

Inside the basket (which was bigger than it initially looked), the three members of this particular Team Rocket field unit were engaged in their various tasks. James Morgan was manning the balloon's controls. Jessie Scarlet had just finished feeding their Pokémon and their most unusual member, a talking Meowth (a feline-like normal-type Pokémon), was taking an inventory of their equipment and stores. Jessie, James and Meowth were professional Pokémon thieves, ne'er-do-wells and frustrated villains. They would love to be wicked criminals, feared and hated by all. Unfortunately, they were simply too inept at criminal endeavours and too essentially good-hearted to ever be too much of a success. It had reached the point where their boss, the feared Giovanni diRocketti, had taken away their official status as members of Team Rocket until they succeeded in some criminal activity that would profit his organisation.

Based on past performance, it might be some time before they regained their boss' favour.

"Meowth! Hey, guys, we're getting' real low on food again!" Meowth reported in his distinctive Brooklyn accent.

There was a brief, silent dialogue between the three would-be villains. "We only stocked up two weeks ago!" Jessie finally snapped out in a precise, upper-class tone of voice. "Who has been eating more than their share?"

"Don't look at me, Jessie," James replied in his mournful, nasal tone of voice. "I never eat when you're not there." Jessie shot her partner an odd look. It was a strange thing to say, but she was willing to let it slide for now.

"Meowth's not eating more than his rations," Meowth added. "Maybe it's on o' da other Pokémon!"

"Meowth! How dare you accuse them!" Jessie scolded.

"Yes, they aren't even out of their Pokéballs to defend themselves!" James agreed.

At that point, one of Jessie's two Pokéballs suddenly snapped open and a flash of white light vomited out. The light resolved itself into a familiar blue-grey gumdrop-shaped Pokémon. "Wah-buff-eeet!" Wobbuffet said. He was holding a Pokémon meal bar and chewing on it nonchalantly.

Jessie snatched the bar out of her eccentric Pokémon's hand and raised Wobbuffet's Pokéball, thumbing the 'recall' button. "I should have known that if anything went wrong, you'd be involved," she muttered, looking as if she was getting a particularly unpleasant headache.

Wobbuffet flared into red light and was sucked back into his ball. "Waaah!" he said as he vanished.

"Whoever's fault it is, we gotta get some more chow!" Meowth declared.

James, who was sitting on a high seat to reach the balloon's burner controls, immediately spotted something. "There's a town just a little to the east," he said.

"Well why are we wasting time talking, then?" Jessie asked. "Set a course, James!"

"Aye-aye, Captain," James said with a mock salute. He pulled the lever for the cold air blower, reducing the amount of lifting power in the balloon so it sunk into an air stream that would carry it towards the town or village, whatever it was. Look out, little berg, for Team Rocket was on its' way!

To be continued…