Yea this is just a really random one shot story. Lots of stupid things, things that would never happen. Just doing it for a laugh, some of the ideas my darling friend Gina gave to me. What could of happened if I had let my mental side take over while writing Graditude.
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A man with dark hair walked slowly down the stairs of the grand staircase. Thomas Andrews walked into the dining saloon and then went to the kitchen.
"Hello Mr. Andrews," the chef said.
"That food that you gave to my wife earlier for dinner gave her food poisoning," Thomas said.
"Oh my greatist apoloiges," the chef said.
Thomas punched the chef, picked him up and then threw him down a table, causing the china to all break. When the Chef landed on the ground he looked up at Thomas in pain.
"Thats what you get for poisoning my wife!" he said. Then he walked away.
The next day Thomas, his wife Arabella, Rose DeWitt Bukater, Ruth DeWitt Bukater, and Cal were in the bridge. As Thomas was explaing the use of two steering wheels a man came up holding a marconigram which he handed to the Captian.
"Another ice warning sir. This ones from the nordan," the man said.
The captian looked at it and then noticed the worried looks on Rose and Ruth's face.
"Oh not to worry. Quite normal for this time of year. Infact were speeding up. I've just ordered the last boilers lit," the Captian said.
"Yea because your a idiot!" Thomas yelled.
The Captian looked at Thomas and frowned as Thomas left the bridge with his group that he was showing around the ship. When they were out on the deck Thomas was in the middle of explaing something about the life boats when he was interrupted by Bruce Ismay who came running down the deck yelling.
"The life boats are a waste of space!" he yelled, he got so caught up that he triped and fell. Then he stood up and began to kick the life boat.
"Stupid life boats!!!!" Bruce yelled.
"We only have so many boats, you do know that right?" Thomas asked.
When Bruce turned to see the group he smiled like a idiot. Arabella walked up to him and slapped Bruce.
"Don't you kick my husbands boat!" she said. Then they all carried on with the tour and with Cal tripping over Bruce. As Cal walked with the group he found himself wishing for Bruce to notice him. But he also wished Jack Dawson would notice him.
A couple of hours later, after dinner Arabella and Thomas were out on the deck. They looked at the mess the ice berg had made.
"I hope they don't expect me or you to clean this mess up," Arabella said.
They looked down and saw Arabella's friend Rose and her boy toy Jack Dawson. Jack began to run around pushing the ice around. Then he tripped on the ice, and fell. He hit his head hard on the ice block and died.
"Oh crap!" Rose said, who had been chasing him.
Arabella almost wanted to laugh as Rose ran off, screaming.
They contuined to watch and noticed nobody was caring about the dead Jack. Just as they were about to walk away Cal went running out with a glass of brandy. He set the brandy down, crying. Then he began to attempt to bring Jack back to life.
"Live damn you!!! I love you Jack Dawson!" Cal yelled.
"You fag!" Arabella heard Rose yell.
When Cal relised he couldn't bring Jack back to life he threw the glass of brandy in Jack's face.
About half an hour later Arabella was standing on the deck watching some people do the can can and then noticed Cal and Bruce come walking up. Both holding glasses of brandys.
"I wish I knew how to quit you!" Cal said to Bruce as they got on the boat.
"Hey Cal you want some choclate?" Bruce asked in a slurred manner.
"Oh Bruce your so damn romantic. I love you," Cal said.
They got on a boat together and would eventually get married.
When Rose was put onto a boat by Thomas she was confused.
"Were on a boat? No wonder everybody kept trying to pull me back when I was tyring to go out for a walk. The ship is sinking? Dear God, are there enough life boats?" Rose asked.
"Rose we talked about this. Don't you remeber?" Thomas asked.
"No, who are you? Are you married? You look old," Rose said.
"I'm Thomas Andrews, yes I'm married. I'm only 39, and I'm leaving," Thomas said as he began to walk off.
"No Thomas! I mean Jack! Jack please don't leave! JACK! JACK! JACK! JACK! JACK! JACK! JACK! JACK! JACK! JACK!" Rose screamed as the boat was being loaded.
"Rose shut the hell up!" Arabella screamed.
"I can't handle this stupidity!" Thomas yelled as he went to the first class smoking room.
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About two years later when Rose was walking through New York she decided to buy a new dress. So she went into a local shop to place a order. Behind the counter she could see a woman sewing a dress.
"Hello?" she called.
"One moment," the woman said, her voice sounded odly famillar. When the woman came out Rose gasped, so did the woman.
"Hello mother," Rose said.
"Rose! Oh Rose your here! Now we can go and you can marry Cal! Oh my word. I've been working as a seamstress-"
"Mother-"
"And it's just been awaful. Mind you the pay is good and-"
"Mother! Can you fix my dress?"
"-the pay is good but imagine if you married Cal! We could have our beautiful clothes again!" Ruth cried.
"Mother who is Cal?"
"Rose Cal was your fiancee on the Titanic," Ruth answered.
"I was on the Titanic?" Rose answered.
"Yes, now lets go to Philadelphia!" Ruth cried, she ran out into the street. But we all know what happens when no one looks both ways before crossing the street.
Many years later when Rose was one hundred and one years old she sat in a room on a ship telling some people about her life on the Titanic. The entire time Rose was telling about the sinking Brock sat there, almost falling asleep, and Mr. Bodine sat there making sound effects of the ship sinking and of people screaming for help. When she was done Brock looked at her.
"Look lady that was a nice story and I'm sorry you lost the guy you love, but uh wheres the damn diamond?" he asked.
"Shit, I don't even think she was on the Titanic," Lizzie said.
"Well actully shes right. I wasn't, I just wanted to go on a helecopter before I died," Rose said.
Then Lizzie took Rose and pushed her to her room. That night while everyone was celebrating because they were going home Rose was walking to the end of the ship with her hand clutched around something. She stood up on the end of the ship and looked at the jewl in her hand.
Lizzie saw her grandmother and thought she was going to jump off the ship.
"Nana!" she screamed as she, Brock, and Mr. Bodine came running.
"Don't come any closer, or I'll drop it," Rose said, as she held out her diamond in her hands.
"You've had it the whole time?!?!?!" Brock screamed.
"Yep!" Rose said proudly. Then with a laugh she dropped it in the water.
"That really sucks lady!" Bodine yelled. Then he, Brock, and Lizzie all went diving in the water for the diamond. Rose went back to her room and died in her sleep...
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OK so like I said, one shot, stupid. I love ya Gina for helping me write this. It wouldn't be nearly as funny if you hadn't helped. Well review if you want, please don't hurt me. This is just something stupid that I felt like writing. So yea, love ya guys!