TITLE: Waves that Beat on Heaven's Shore
AUTHOR: agentj
STATUS: complete
DATE: February 2005
CATEGORY: Vignette: Romance (SiriWan)/Alternate Universe
CHARACTERS: Siri Tachi, Obi-Wan Kenobi (minor), Bant (minor)
TIMEFRAME: Saga: Prequel (Clone Wars)
CONTENT WARNING: violent imagery, character death
SUMMARY: Siri Tachi's last thoughts as she dies on the battlefield.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Is it a dream, or is it real? A little of both, perhaps? I've always been fascinated with the line between this world and the next, between the limited view of the universe in which we hold ourselves and the broader truth within a grain of sand. I presumed bits of Siri's passing thoughts before death were partly real thoughts and partly dream-like delusions that seem so solid and real over the precipice of sleep. As to which being which, I leave that up to you.
DISCLAIMER: I willingly and willfully use characters and situations copyrighted by Twentieth Century Fox and Lucasfilm Ltd. without permission, and without monetary gain. Additional characters and situations are copyright 2005 Lisa D. Jenkins.
Siri Tachi lay on the battlefield. She heard the distant cries of laser fire, the screams of the earth as explosives ripped it apart, the gentle whispers of the brothers as they murmured orders above the din.
Siri was delirious.
She knew she wasn't laying beside the sandy beach of the lake in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, the bright, artificial sun dazzling before her eyes. But her fingertips dove in the dank dirt beneath her, wet with her blood, and she swore she could smell the crisp, cool scent of the water lapping at her hair.
"Master Tachi!" a voice called to her. He was broad-shouldered, lean, muscular. Hair cropped close to his face. Strange that his voice was different. Where was that Padawan braid of his? Surely, Obi-Wan could not be mad at the prank she and Bant played on him? Oh, Force, she could never forgive herself if Obi-Wan took to cutting off his braid. His master would kill him.
"Master Tachi?" the voice repeated, his face closer. The eyes were dark. Everything was dark. Except for the man's white armor. Once gleaming, it was now covered with grime and mud, and a few other things Siri didn't want to have to think about right now.
"Comm—Commander?" her voice sounded distant as if it came from a poor comlink transmission.
"Communications are disrupted," the clone trooper briefed her. "I'm unable to get word to the Healer Unit."
"Heal—healer?" Siri's eyes fluttered as the dazzling artificial sunlight from the ceiling peeked over his shoulders. The waterfall was roaring in her ears.
"I'll have to carry you," he said so softly. His breath caressed her like the wind of a summer breeze. "I love you, Siri Tachi."
Siri frowned. "Wha—what?"
"I said, can you move, Master Tachi?"
Siri attempted to roll over, when suddenly her starfighter spun out of control. Where were the blasted braking thrusters?
"I've got you."
He held her so gently against his body. She buried her face in his neck, his beard tickling against her cheek. It ran down her neck and into her robe. Strange how a beard could become liquid like that, Siri mused absurdly.
"Hang on, Master Tachi."
He had gotten so much better at levitation, Siri smiled silently to herself. He was flying with her in his arms. How did he do that? She would have to finagle it out of him—a dare, it would have to be. Yoda, in her head, he was. Backwards, she fell.
Siri sighed with a sharp breath as the clouds beneath her stabbed her with jagged edges.
"Oh, Force! Siri! Can you hear me?" Bant asked desperately. She must have heard about Obi-Wan's Padawan braid. Such a waste.
"Stop...crying," Siri ordered. Bant was so emotional sometimes.
Bant's cool, damp flippered hands smoothed back Siri's hair. "You've lost a lot of blood," the Mon Calamari explained calmly, without a trace of a tear. Was it the fountains in the distance she had heard? "It's very dangerous to go into a meditative trance right now. Stay with me."
Stay with me, he'd pleaded. With his eyes. Only his blue, grey, misty green eyes that shifted every time she turned her head. Siri had been foolish. She wouldn't give in to him, no matter how hard he tried. He shouldn't have cut off his braid for her. He tried to re-attach it to her own hair. Why was he doing that?
"Siri, please! Stay still!" Bant demanded as she tried to put pressure bands around her friend's head wounds.
"Don't—" Siri tried to explain she didn't want it. It was his hair. His tie to the Jedi Order. His dedication. She wouldn't let him deny his destiny as a Jedi.
He wore his white outfit. The one made out of the same material as Master Qui-Gon's. It shimmered as he moved. The material glided over his body as he reached out and touched her forehead.
"I love you, Siri Tachi."
She could see him clearly, now. His hair flaming in bright spikes. His face serene with absolute certainty.
She couldn't let him do it.
"Jedi don't love. It's forbidden," she reprimanded him, pulling away from his touch.
"I can't help it," he pleaded. "I do. I do love you."
"Stop saying that!" she screeched at him. It was so childish. She was still a child. They both were, really. Too young to know the truth, too old to prevent it from happening.
"I'm losing her!" a distant Bant called out, splashing playfully in the water.
Siri was going away. She couldn't tell him why. She couldn't tell him how desperately she wanted to stay with him, here at the Temple. She couldn't tell him how afraid she was. Fear was dangerous. It led to the Dark Side. Siri was so afraid of how Obi-Wan made her feel.
"Stay with me, Siri," he pleaded.
The waterfall was roaring.
The wetness of the sand beneath her.
The whiteness of his gleaming robes in the artificial sunlight.
The shifting of colour in his eyes.
Siri blinked. The choice was hers, and hers alone.
Sadly, she reached up to touch his cheek. His hair was streaked by sun and time. Grey outlined his face. Lines of worry and laughter traced his eyes. "You are like the stars in the sky, Obi-Wan," she told him softly. "But I cannot stay with you."
He pressed his lips to the palm of her hand. He was saying goodbye. He was letting her go.
Siri watched him turn away, watched the light engulf him as he left her. The waters of the lake surrounded her, the waterfall singing in her ears.
Siri Tachi was going home.