The Nightmare Before Parodies
Mungo: *looks at title* Ugh...Oi hope this'll be pineless...
Munku: *looks up* Painless? With CALA directing?
Pouncival: I dunno, I kinda like my role.
Bomba: That's because you're playing an annoying, bratty, whiny, mean little kitten...Much
like yourself.
Pounce: EY!
(Cala enters, her trusty clipboard in hand)
Cala: OK! Everyone gather round!
(the cats cautiously edge forward)
Cala: I trust you all know your parts?
Macca: *timidly raises paw* Um ...no?
Cala: *looks down again at the list* AH! Macca! My WONDERFUL TOM! You, my dear boy, are playing JACK!!
Macca: *whimper*
Cala: enough chatter! Lets Go!
(the curtain comes up on a circle of trees. Each has a door on it in the shape of the holiday it represents. Suddenly, through the magic of the theater...)
Cala: Actually, It's just Munku doing a narration.
(Shaddap! I'm trying to narrate!)
Cala: So sorry.
(Thank you. Anywho, throught the magic of theater, you hear a narration.)
Cala: Toldja so.
Munku: Twas a long time ago, longer now than it seems
In a place that perhaps you've seen in your dreams
For the story that you are about to be told
Began in the holiday worlds of old
Now you've probably wondered where holidays come from
If you haven't, I'd say it's time you begun
For the holidays are result of much fuss
And hard work from the worlds that create them for us
Well you see now, quite simply that's all that they do
Making one unique holiday especially for you
But once, a calamity ever so great
Occurred when two Holidays met by mistake...
Lec: ...Is it just me, or is that one longer than the one in the video...?
Cala: Well, that's the one in the soundtrack, so I decided to use it.
Munku: Oh goody...at least I'm off for the day...
Cala: Actually, Monkeyman, There's another monologue at the end. OH! *looks at clipboard* I could use you HERE! And HERE!
Munku. Aw....
(BACK TO THE PLAY. The Halloween door opens and you are magically swept to a graveyard. Shadows on the graves begin to sing...who'da thunk?)
Chorus: Boys and ghouls of every age,
Would you like to see something strange?
Come with us and you will see
This is Cala's Parody
Cala: EY!
Chorus: It's a parody, it's a parody
Cast Members scream in the dead of night!
It's a parody, Everybody make a scene...
Cala: *mixing her Advil Martini* It's gonna be a loooong parody....
(For the sake of your sanity, we'll compress the song.)
Chorus: In this town,
Don't we love it now? Everyone's waiting for the next surprise
Skeleton Mack might catch you in the back
And scream like a banshee,
Make you Jump right out of your SKIN!
(Mack, The king of Halloween is Wheeled in on a straw horse. During the next verse, he bursts into flame, jumps into the fountain, then slowly rises out, hands across chest)
This is Halloween, Everybody Scream
Won't ya please make way for a very special guy
Our man Mack is King of The Pumpkin Patch
Everyone hail to the pumpkin king now
This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Halloween, halloween, halloween, halloween
Trio: In this town we call home, everyone hail to the pumpkin song!
Chorus:La-la-la, Halloween Halloween (etc.)
Cala: Well besides the free-lance lyrics at the beginning, that was relatively good, so I'll give you a break.
Cats: *stampede out*
Cala:*sigh* So begins the Parody Saga.
To Be Continued