Nasuada peered down at the pitiful creature at her feet. She rolled her eyes at the annoying perfection of it.

Its waist-long golden hair glittered in the sunlight, the delicate rose-coloured lips were slightly parted and the immaculate skin practically glowed with energy.

Quite ironically, it was dead.

Its body was slim and well-curved, the clothes impractical and other-worldly, not that that stopped them looking 'amazing' on the creature.

"What is it your majesty?" Jarsha inquired, he was one of the few people who had offered to help Nasuada on her now hopeless-seeming quest to rid the land of those foul beings.

"Another one," Nasuada stated through grinding teeth.
Ever since Christopher Paolini decided to allow to feature his book on fanfiction, these nausea-inducing women and occasionally men had started to appear in Alagaesia. Though Nasuada wasn't sure what Fanfiction was, nor why the creatures had been called 'Mary-Sues', she knew it was her duty as queen to exterminate them.
They bent every law of physics, science, reality and nature. They slaughtered the same people over and over again without even touching them. There were hundreds of them. And worst of all, they were ANNOYING.

"What shall we do with it?" Jarsha was asking, clambering up the steep and slippery mountain side.
The Queen waited until he had reached the top before she answered.
Jarsha looked down at the lifeless body of the Sue. His head tipped to one side and his eyes took on a far-away glaze. He fell to his knees beside the creature and stared at its closed eyes.
"Not AGAIN Jarsha!" Nasuada snapped her fingers in front of the boy's face. He didn't move.
Another downside to the 'thing' was the way single men acted around them. They would become practically hypnotised by their supposed 'beauty'. Especially when they were dead.
Not that they ever were dead. They were brought back to life at the fall of a feather. Though usually it was a kiss from their 'true loves'. Aka Eragon…or Murtagh.
Nasuada made an involuntary frown. That point angered her more than she cared to admit.
She searched the girl for a sign of whom she preferred, the queen didn't want to drag both the male riders up the mountain for nothing.
Black leather boots...silver cross…black nail polish…

"Murtagh?" she called.
Somewhere at the foot of the hill there was a disgusted grunt and then the sound of Eragon's chuckles.

Skipping all the nonsense that caused Nasuada both un-shown pain as well as pity, the Mary Sue awoke in a burst of gibberish.

"I knew you'd come back for me!" the creature sighed happily.
Nasuada groaned inwardly, Murtagh groaned aloud.

Jarsha, insulted by Murtagh's display of 'affection' sat grumbling on a rock.
"You're not a **** ******* **** like Eragon,"
"Charming!" Eragon's voice echoed from the bottom of the hill. Curse his elf-like hearing.
The girl took no notice "oh hi Nasu!"
"You did NOT just call me that…" 'Nasu' snapped at the girl.
The Mary Sue bounced onto her feet with the strength and elegance that could have beaten any elves, as though she HADN'T just DIED.
"My name is…"
"Stop right there!" Murtagh growled, his hand held up and his face twisted away. "If I. Hear. One. More. Of those, awful. Long. Disgusting. Scum of names. I. WILL. Die!"

The Sue stared at him for a long time "what do you mean?" she inquired softly, a hint of fear in her voice. Then she gasped suddenly and glared at Nasuada. "Is it true!" she hissed.

Nasuada sighed. They lived in their own world, no matter what anyone said, they would only hear what they WANTED to hear. "Horse, donkey, shoe, murmur, murmur mutter, pig-fly, book-keeping worm eater," Nasuada said, causing some very worried glances from Murtagh. "Only having a bit of fun," she whispered to him. Murtagh nodded, still confused.
The Sue gasped again. "HOW DARE YOU TRY AND STEAL MY NAME! YOU **** ****** **** ******* ***** **** ******* ********* of a *******"
Nasuada blinked in surprise, she had never heard a Sue speak like that before. Her eyes narrowed as an idea struck her. She smiled at the Sue.
"You…swear a lot don't you? You could almost call it…a flaw."

THAT, even a SUE could not help overhearing. Her hand shot to her mouth and she spluttered something incoherently and finally tipped back in a dead-faint and vanished.

"I thought them actually dying would be a little more exciting…big fire here and there, a few explosions, you know…" Murtagh muttered.

There was a large flash and the horrible creature reappeared. "Murtagh! Your kind words have brought me back to life."

"You have GOT to be joking." Murtagh groaned. "DIE you DAMNED CREATURE, DIE, DIE, DIE!"

Jarsha stared at Murtagh "your majesty, should I tell Eragon to get the doctor again?"
Nasuada nodded.
Jarsha made his way down the mountain but looked back up at Nasuada for another sign of approval. Instead he caught sight of the creature and fell to his knees once more.

Nasuada let out, yet another, sigh.