AN: Okay, so romance and humor probably aren't the best categories for this, but it was closest I could get. They need to broaden their horizons in that department. xD At any rate, I had last minute inspiration for this, and it's probably really awful, but I wanted to do this sooooo badly. I hope you enjoy!

I'VE BEEN HERE FOR FUCKING YEARS AND I'D NEVER MET A HUMAN WHO WAS SO DAMN ANNOYING AS HER. SHE MAKES ME WANT TO PUNCH MYSELF IN THE FUCKING BONE BULGE REPEATEDLY AND ASK WHY SOMEONE WASTED TIME TO RAISE A STUPID, INSULTING, ANNOYING AS FUCK GRUB LIKE HER. I DON'T KNOW HOW NEPETA STANDS LIVING WITH HER. SHE'S SO GOGDAMN STUPID, AND ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT IS CUTE THINGS AND AUTOMAIL. WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT IS. JEGUS CHRIST. CAN I SUFFOCATE HER PLEASE? NO. FUCK YOU, TOO, THEN.

"Karkat! Stop being so stubborn and come look at this! I made a new prosthetic! This proves I'm not stupid!" I shouted, waving my wrench around. I was going to make him see that I'm not an idiot like he tries to tell me.

"WHY THE HELL WON'T YOU SHUT UP ALREADY? I DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKS ANYWHERE WITHIN MY BEING TO GIVE ABOUT YOUR STUPID AUTOMAIL. GOGDAMN." He was scowling at me, as usual, rambling on at extremely loud volumes, ignoring most of what I said. He really knew how to piss a girl off. I just wanted to slap him sometimes.

"Stop being so loud and rude! I'm actually trying to be nice to you! Why? I have no idea, but I'm trying! I don't like you anymore than you like me, but I love Neppy and she seems to like you. Poor thing." I couldn't help, but try for her sake. Nep's been living with me for a while. Ever since I ran into her when she came to Earth. Her big friend Equius just moved in recently, too. And a tiger she "found" called Pounce. And even though they scared, probably more than even a homunculi, even they didn't dislike me as much as Karkat. And I honestly did like him either. He was stupid and selfish and stupid and adorable and stupid and… Ugh… This list could go on forever. But not without stupid.

"THIS IS ME BEING NICE. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, WELL, TOO BAD. AND WHO NEPETA LIKES IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. IN FACT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA HOW SHE STANDS LIVING WITH YOU. JEGUS CHRIST. YOU'RE FUCKING CRAZY. EVEN THAT FOREVER-SWEATING, BLUE BLOOD EQUIUS ISN'T THIS BAD ABOUT HIS ROBOTS OR WHATEVER." He scowl turned into more of a glower as I moved toward him. If he was going to be a jerk, I'll give him something to be a jerk about. It's really easy to piss him off. For me, anyway.

"FINE! Be a jerkface! But you're going to regret, you big dummy!" He was already backing away, shouting profanities at me, he knew what was coming, and I was glad he did. Moron. I inched closer toward him and reached for his horns, just one was all I needed, when he had backed into the wall. No where left to run now.

"FUCK NO. DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH THOSE. YOU GET YOUR DIRTY HANDS OFF. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK. STOP IT." He gave a slight shiver, and I smirked widely at him. Serves him right He's so mean to me all the time, and I haven't even done anything to him. He needs to get grow up.

"No! Not until you apologize for being a jerk! And I don't care how often you say please this time! I'm not stopping until I get my dang apology!" I was petting his right horn slowly, giggling at his reactions. Even if we did despise each other with a great passion, I could tell he liked having his horns petted, and I liked him being less grumpy. He didn't get on my nerves so much then.

"I'M NOT GOING TO FUCKING APOLOGIZE FOR YOU BEING STUPID. THAT WOULD MAKE ME ABOUT AS DUMB AS YOU ARE, YOU FUCKING WASTE OF A PAIL. GET OFF. YOU… YOU… FUCK." I heard his teeth grind together, and I grinned with satisfaction. Ha! I was going to win this and get my apology, whether he liked it or not. I just had to keep at it until he caved.

"Just say you're sorry, stupid! Stop being so stubborn! Jeeze! You act just like Ed sometimes! You're gonna give in before I will, that's for sure!" Shrugging nonchalantly, just to get under his skin, I tucked my wrench into my mechanic's outfit, and reached for his other horn, petting it just as gently as the other. I knew it was working with he started sputtering angrily, but not really forming words. At least, not words I understood anyway. Winry, you are one smart cookie.

"STOP. JUST FUCKING STOP. PLEASE. I SAID PLEASE, DAMNIT. YOU'RE…" I paused briefly, my fingertips still on his horns, waiting for him to finish as I noticed a candy apple red color creep into his cheeks. What the…? "YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEL BLACK FEELINGS, YOU STUPID FUCKING SHIT SPONGE. WAY TO RUIN MY GOGDAMN EXISTENCE. JUST WHEN I THOUGHT MY LIFE WASN'T GOING DOWN SOME FUCKING BEING'S WASTE CHUTE."

I stared at him for what seemed like a long time, wondering what in the world he was talking about. Black feelings? I'd never heard of this in my entire life. Maybe it was just a troll thing Neppy hadn't told me about.

"OH GOG. DON'T TELL ME YOU HAVEN'T LEARNED ABOUT THE FOUR QUADRANTS. MATESPRITSHIP, MOIRAILLEGIANCE, AUSPITICISM, AND KISMESSISITUDE. MATESPRITSHIP AND MOIRAILLEGIANCE ARE RED FEELINGS, AUSPITICISM AND KISMESSISITUDE ARE BLACK FEELINGS. AND BEFORE YOUR FUCKING STUPID CONSUMING HOLE ASKS ANYMORE STUPID QUESTIONS, REDS ARE POSITIVES, BLACKS ARE NEGATIVES." He was still trembling slightly, and I thought he was only talking to distract me, so I gave his left horn a gentle squeeze to remind him who was in charge for the moment. Stupid jerk.

"So what? I don't care! I don't like you either! We've always had negative feelings! Why should I care now?" I really just wanted to deck him one good time. Maybe with my wrench, but that would make Nep sad, and I didn't want to do that. If you've ever seen her when she's upset, you'd understand why. She has the most utterly heart breaking face in the world. One that would make you apologize to serial killer, right after they just shot you, for getting blood on the seats of their getaway car.

"HOLY FUCK. I THINK… JEGUS CHRIST. DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT OUT LOUD." I gave him a look that was both clueless and stubborn. I wasn't backing down now. No way.

"I'm waiting."

"BLACK FEELINGS, DEPENDING ON WHICH ONES YOU FEEL, CAN BE… PHYSICAL. THERE. I SAID IT GOGDAMNIT." His face was turning redder by the minute, but I still didn't understand. He must be really angry with me for touching his horns. Good. I hoped he was. He deserved every bit of it.

"So, what? You wanna hit me? Go for it. I don't really care. But I'll hit you back in a dang heart beat. You can count on that." I flicked his horn lightly and watched a strange expression flicker across his face. It was an odd, masochistic mask, with a twist of something I'd never seen before.

"OH, I'D LOVE TO KNOCK YOU ONE SO DAMN BADLY, BUT NO. THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN. FUCK. I THINK I WANT TO ENTER…" He gave a slight shudder, almost doubling over, "KISMESSISTUDE. WITH YOU. GREAT. FUCKING GREAT."