Hello! I hope you enjoy this fic. If you don't like naughty language, then run far away and do not return. For we all know that Hidan tends to... run his mouth a bit. Especially in this chapter. Anywa, enjoy this love story about our favourite murdering maniac, Hidan. ;) Review if you liked it!
PS- The lyrics at the beginning are from a song called 'Prayer' by the band Disturbed. It suits Hidan perfectly!
Chapter 1- The day she found him
Let me enlighten you!
This is the way I pray
Living just isn't hard enough
Burn me alive inside
Living my life's not hard enough
Take everything away…
He was very, very annoyed now. The soil was dense and laced through with his blood.
Hidan couldn't even feel the pain anymore. How could he, when his body had been blasted apart by hundreds of explosive tags? He didn't die, thanks to the ritual that blessed him with immortality, but he might remain underground like this for eternity. He couldn't resign himself to that… No!
Not that anyone would bother to come and retrieve him. Even then, only Kakuzu had the skill to do the laborious task of sewing his crushed body parts together. Hell, he would have to find them first. And to do that, he would have to be alive.
The thought that Kakuzu could die was preposterous in itself, what with him having multiple hearts and an old man's worth of battle experience, but there were many people left on that kyuubi's team, including that little shit, the Leaf ninja's pathetic student. If they had managed to kill off all of Kakuzu's hearts, there only remained Kakuzu… If Hidan could have spat, he would have. Showing concern for the one who didn't care whether his partner lived or died? Rubbish. He quickly buried these thoughts, but was instantly reminded of his own dire situation.
How the hell did he get into this mess…? Intelligence wasn't his greatest asset, so against that kid… his chances were slim from the start. He was hellishly powerful, crazy enough and cold enough to kill, but had been let down by these very traits. The defeat had deeply hurt his pride.
Am I really going to stay blown to pieces? Fuck them all… the ones who left me like this. Who put me in this situation. Who really couldn't give a damn! Well, I couldn't either!
Even his face… was almost crushed. What was going to become of him?
At the very moment he asked himself this question, the ear that was still attached to his skull picked up a noise from above. Tap, tap, tap on the ground, like the sound of footsteps, but they definitely weren't Kakuzu's. Light and springy, they grew closer and closer, until they halted directly above his head. What the hell was a kid doing here? For a moment he willed her to go away- or words to that effect- but then something that resembled hope began to burn inside. As soon as this happened he habitually quashed it with the natural assumption that the only person he could rely on was himself.
Then… Scratch, scratch, scratch… like someone was dabbling at the top, trying to dig through the soil with their bare hands. He heard the muffled scrabbling for what must have been at least thirty minutes, and the sound grew clearer and clearer. After that, came a voice.
"Oh? I think I've found- No way! I've found a hand. A human hand! And it's still warm."
This was a pretty crude way of describing his body parts, especially for a little girl. She was maybe in her mid-teens, and was relating herself information on pieces of what was essentially a corpse with little or no horror. She sounded curious, for crying out loud.
"There's a finger over here, too…"
More digging around, more innocent sounds, more of her insane chatter. The more she babbled on, the more Hidan started to regard her with amusement. She really did not care! And she was going to dig him up for sure. Eventually, she'd get to his head, and when she dug that up, he would start speaking. Then she would be shocked. Shocked enough to piss off. Wait- if she did that, he'd still be in a crappy situation, in pieces.
Soon a rush of cool air swept his face. She lifted his broken nerve centre above the pit and placed him next to the rest of his body. Her light touch dabbed away the dirt on his face, mixed with his own blood, and he was able to open his eyes and take in her appearance in its entirety. With a shoulder length mop of aqua hair, and equally oceanic eyes, the girl's presence was odd. The smile that pierced her pallid skin was so obviously transparent, he wondered why it was there. Her finger nails were stained with blood and dirt, and from the state of her hands, digging was what she did the most.
And the first thing that escaped from Hidan's lips was… "Who the hell are you?"
She leapt out of her skin, falling backward onto her backside. Then, her face lit up in wonder. "A talking head! That's awesome!"
"…The hell?"
"I'll put you back together. I have a needle and thread, and everything you need, right here. I carry lots of strange stuff around with me."
"How would you know how to put a body together?"
She dug around in the pack around her waist, knelt down on the ground before him, humming to herself like she was on a pleasant walk. Or another planet. After some fumbling, she pulled out exactly what she had described, a large needle and small one, and a ball of pale, strong thread.
"I know lots of things." She wound the thread around her fingers and hooked it through the large needle. "Now… I should start by putting the legs together, and then attaching those to the torso… Then fingers to hands, hands to arms… Yeah, I've got it."
Saying no more, he watched on as the girl carefully but expertly sewed his body back together, piece by piece, whilst chattering at a rushed, excited pace. Her hands moved around like they had done this a thousand times in the past. Maybe she had been a butcher's daughter, or something like that. Maybe, given her sunny disposition, she was insane, just like him.
"Okay! Now, I've got to put your ear back on. Since it's your head, it might hurt a bit. I'm not sure about these things." She laughed a carefree laugh and held his ear against the side of his face.
"The more pain, the better," he hissed out.
"You're the boss."
The burning that accompanied the handy needlework was something of a comfort, and before long, he had two functioning ears. It wasn't a long time after that when his head was fully sewn on.
"YES!"
Instantly he leapt up from the ground, wiping the remaining blood from his body. Luckily, the shreds of cloak and trousers that remained covered up most of his lower half, but his chest was exposes to the elements, and the feeling of the cool wind rushing onto it was refreshing to say the least. He was alive again!
Not that he ever died.
"I'm glad to see you're feeling alright," she said pleasantly.
"Who are you?"
"Introduce yourself, first. Come on. I just save you. Some politeness would be nice!"
"Hidan," he muttered. He watched her get up from the ground and brush the dirt off her mail vest and black leggings, tight around her slender figure.
"I'm Mia. Mia Hayashikan."
"Fancy name."
"Not really. I was raised in an orphanage, and don't even have a home now. I might have been born in a mansion to a feudal Lord's wife, but I suppose I'll never know."
Questioning why she seemed adept at sewing parts of corpses back together, why she laughed at his talking head with no body, why she even bothered to dig him up, seemed pointless. He didn't even care. There were stranger people in the Akatsuki.
That was right… the Akatsuki. He hated the lot of them, but they were all that could help him achieve his personal goal. He had to return to them!
He yelled out manically, "I'm back, you heathens! I told you I wouldn't die. You had better be waiting. I'M ALIVE!"
