"Perhaps I know best why it is man alone who laughs; he alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter." -Friedrich Nietzsche

Somehow, I could feel Morgan's eyes on me. I didn't even have to look up to know that he had guilt written all over his face.

The plane hit the ground with a gentle thud, and I saw JJ open her eyes and sit up. I shot her a what must've been a pathetic-looking smile, and she responded with a tired one and a concerned look in her eyes.

It was the same look that had been in every one of their faces since this happened.

But this was nothing, really. I've had much worse.

And yet, I still caught all their pitying looks and shifting eyes. The guilt Derek wore like a constant mask didn't help either. What would it take for him to let it go? To realize that it was not his fault?

First he had to get over the Doyle thing though, that I knew. We had to sit down and talk it out, so that we could go back to the way we used to be.

But as much as I wanted to fix our broken friendship, I couldn't bare to talk about Ian. He was still there, in the back of my mind, haunting me, especially on the bad days.

Maybe, in a couple years, I would finally be able to talk about it. But not yet. Not for a long time, I'm sure. Ian had left a permanent mark on me, like a tattoo.

"Prentiss?", Morgan gently shook my shoulder, and I snapped back to reality.

Looking around, I noticed that the plane was on the ground, and that everyone was slowly making their way towards the door, periodically shooting those guilty looks my way.

"Yeah, I'm good.", I said, getting up and attempting to pick up my bag. It proved harder than I expected though, with the sling and all.

Morgan, of course, took it before I could make another attempt to get it on my shoulder. I looked over to him, starting to say something. He knew how much I hated everyone treating me differently because I was injured. This was nothing. I could handle getting my own stupid bag.

"I've got it Emily.", he said, his voice firm.

So I walked off the plane, him following close behind, suddenly wondering how the hell I was going to get home.

Shit, I probably wouldn't be able to drive for weeks.

This occurred to Morgan as well, because as soon as we stepped into the parking garage, he led me to his car.

"Come on, I'll drive you home."

"No, it's fine, really, I'll get a cab.", I protested, and seeing his disapproving look added, "You're probably tired anyway, honestly, when was the last time you slept? I'll be fine, really."

He looked at me, seeing right through my excuses and my bullshit.

"Actually, I was just going to go have a burger. Care to join me?"

Giving in, I smiled and got into the passenger side of his car, resting my head against the seat.

When I heard his door slam and the car start, I spoke up.

"So, where to?"

"Dani's, where else?", he said, cracking a smile.

Dani's was this little burger joint on the other side of town that was known for it's milkshakes. It was run by a cheerful old woman named Dani who simply adored Derek and reminded me a bit too much of Garcia. We'd gone there with Reid once, trying to show him a real milkshake, since he'd never had one before. The place just reminded you of innocence; with it's bubblegum pink tablecloths and old-fashioned red bar stools. And sometimes, with this job, a bit of innocence is just what we needed.

Most of the car ride was spent in a comfortable silence, the radio quietly playing a pop song that I couldn't remember the name of.

It was nice. Like nothing needed to be said. This is what I had always loved about our friendship – sometimes, we could just be silent. No words were necessary, yet it wasn't awkward. It was just... comfortable.

When we pulled up to the diner, I could just make out the pink sign that read Dani's; Home of the Best Milkshake.

It was just so cliché and perfect and small-towny that it made me smile.

"What?", Derek said, looking at me, just a hint of a smile in his eyes.

"Nothing. I just like this place, that's all."

As we walked in, Dani greeted Derek with her usual too long rib-crushing hug, and signaled a young waitress to bring him 'the usual', before asking what I wanted.

"I'll have 'the usual' too.", I said, winking at Morgan.

"Alright sweetie, that'll be around ten minutes."

We both nodded as Dani took our menus and hurried back to the kitchen, her bright pink skirt swaying as she walked.

"Is it just me, or is that woman Garcia in thirty years?", I said.

"Prentiss, I think you might be right about that.", Derek responded. "But that's a good thing. There needs to be more good people like Dani, like Penelope, in the world. To balance it all out."

I thought about this for a second, remembering a conversation we'd once had.

"Even with all the bad we see every day, I'm still surprised at all the good.", he had said once.

"Yeah, but do you think it evens out?", I'd asked, hopeful.

"I'd like to think it does."

Well, I'd like to think it does too. But sometimes, I just can't get myself to believe that.

"Trevor had been a good person.", I said, and watched as Derek's jaw clenched at the mention of out latest UnSub.

"He shot you, Emily. He killed four families."

"I'm not trying to justify what he did Morgan; it was a terrible thing and he deserved what he got. But he had been a good person once – Preston made him into a killer, we both know that."

I saw as his jaw relaxed a little, but the anger was still on his face.

"I'm just saying, sometimes, the killers we catch start out as good people too. Sometimes, it's not their fault.", I said.

And I did feel terrible for Trevor, because honestly, he could've had a good life. If Porter hadn't killed his family, he could have been happy.

Sometimes, people are born killers, but oftentimes they are made killers by others. That's why I'd gone through so much trouble to keep Declan away from Ian. Because I knew how pure and innocent and good Declan was, and I also knew that Ian would have turned him into a killer, and there was no way I would let that happen.

As if reading my thoughts, Derek said, "That's why you did what you did for Declan. You didn't want Ian to turn him into a monster like Porter did to Trevor."

I opened my mouth, trying to find a response to this, but was cut off by Dani approaching our table with two plates on her arm and two glasses in hand.

"Here ya go, one for my man and his lady.", she said, winking.

"Thanks Dani, this is my friend Emily.", he said, and I saw as Dani looked me up and down, as if seeing if I was good enough for her favorite man.

I knew already, assuming Dani was as much like Garcia as I thought, that it was no use trying to convince her that me and Morgan were nothing more than friends. So I just let her think what she wanted as I smiled at her and thanked her for the meal.

When she walked away, Derek was looking at me excitedly, our previous serious conversation seemingly forgotten.

"What?"

"Try it.", he said, his eyes flicking down to the hamburger and milkshake in front of me.

"Morgan, I've been here before, remember?", I said, rolling my eyes at him.

But I couldn't help but smile at his face – he looked like a kid on Christmas morning.

"Yeah, but you've never tried the burgers. Now shush and try it."

I shook my head at him before picking up the burger on my plate and taking a bite.

It was good. It tasted homey, somehow. It reminded you of neighborhood 4th of July parties, and your dad cooking on the grill as neighborhood kids ran circles around the backyard.

Well, that's what I imagine it would remind people of. I hadn't really been to many barbeques growing up. Banquets and fancy dinners – sure, but what wouldn't I have given to just go to one old fashioned neighborhood barbeque on a hot summer day.

"Not bad.", I said, as he smiled wide and took a bite of his own burger, closing his eyes.

After a couple minutes of silence, Morgan started talking again.

"You never answered my question from before.", he said, taking a sip of his milkshake, eyeing me.

"Well, it wasn't really a question... But yes, I sent Declan away so that Ian couldn't make him into a killer. I couldn't stand by and watch him mold something so innocent and pure into another version of himself."

Derek nodded, absorbing what I was saying.

"Do you still talk to him? Declan, I mean."

"Yeah, I go visit him every week. The last few months have been hard on him, and I want to be there as much as possible. I may not be his mother, not even close, but after Louise died, he needs at least someone."

I do go try to visit him, but most times he's distant. People say it's just his teenager stage, that he'll grow out of it, but I cant help thinking that maybe he still blames me for Louise's death, and Ian's.

I still go though, hoping to break through to him, to be a bigger part of his life.

"He has a picture of you in his locker, you know. He loves you Emily.", Derek said, probably sensing the self doubt going through my mind.

I almost asked how he knew, but then I remembered the countless days he had spent watching from the outside of Declan's school, just making sure the boy was safe. I had never properly thanked him for that, had I?

"Thank you. For looking out for Declan when I couldn't.", I said, looking up.

"It was the least I could do Emily. I thought you'd died, and the best way to honor your memory was keeping the boy you'd died for safe, and catching Doyle.", he said, his eyes glazing over with the same determination I saw whenever he talked about Ian.

"And you did both. You're the reason I came back. Thank you."

"I'm also the reason you had to leave in the first place.", he said, that guilty look on his face again. I knew he was cursing himself for not making me tell him what was wrong (even though I wouldn't have anyway), and for not getting there earlier during my fight with Doyle.

And yet, no matter how much I told him it wasn't his fault, he wouldn't believe me. He would figure that out on his own, in time, I guessed. I had to hope for that.

"Derek, I know that you won't stop blaming yourself, no matter what I say. But just please know, I don't blame you for any of this. Just the opposite actually; I probably would still be in Paris if it wasn't for you."

He looked up at me with glazed eyes and I shot him a smile.

"Well, then I guess you should start repaying me. Dinner's on you, princess.", he said, that signature Derek Morgan smile back on his face.

"Ooh, wait till I tell Dani that you didn't offer to pay on our date!", I said teasingly, watching as he laughed.

There was still hurt and guilt in his eyes, but he was coping. We were coping. We just needed more moments like this; more laughter, and then maybe we'd go back to normal. Maybe then Doyle would stop haunting every one of my dreams and the guilt would stop eating at Derek's conscience.

They do say that laughter's the best medicine, after all.

[Hope you guys enjoyed that! It was set right after 7.15 'A Thin Line'.

Reviews are appreciated :D]