[(A.N): Explanation of what's going on here post/118382332662/run-for-your-life-update]

Love.

We say it on a daily basis, whether or not we mean it, or if it to the love of lives, to children, or to friends, it's said.

That night still flashes before my eyes…

"My name is Brendan Seamus Brady… and this is my final confession..."

Those words they still ring throughout my head. I wish they'd just stop, but they never do.

I thought love was enough. I thought it would have saved us, but I was wrong. I know why he did it, but it doesn't mean it was right, then again… that's well

that's who he is. Protects the ones who need it. I try to stand by him, but he didn't allow it. He was too proud or something like that. It was bad enough to lose

the kids, but I always know if we stuck it out the she'd come around, know that he had changed, that he was a better man, but he never gave it a chance.

Now don't get me wrong when I enter into this relationship I knew, I knew what he was, what type of lifestyle he lived, but I didn't care. I loved him… I still do.

He's been sentenced to god knows how many years and I can't do nothing about it. He made me the man I am today, he protected me in my time of need, he

told me that he couldn't live without ME! And yet… he's gone.

In the name of saving his baby sister, it had to be done, there was no other way… or so he said. Again, I knew what he was, so I probably shouldn't have been

so surprised. He told me to move on with my life… that I couldn't wait around for him, it was the only way it had to be. Day in and day out people telling me, I

was a fool for loving him, that I'd be better off without him, that it was for the fucking BEST! I'm so tired of hearing that… I tired of being told how I should feel

and how I should react. I'm just so tired. I know they're wrong, though,… he… he completed me, he completed our family, him, the kids, and Amy they were all

I had and all I need. After the childhood I had and after everything I had done in the past I never thought… I'd never thought I would have a family that need

me, that wanted me, let alone have people in my life who truly loved me.

"...He will always love you…" Were the last words she told me… (sigh)

Brendan Fucking Brady… the love of my life… me sole mate, gone, sent to rot away in some prison for something he hadn't even done… I know I shouldn't

blame her, but sometimes I find meself doing just that.

I know that what she did was done to save her brother, but why, why!

If they had just told the truth, then maybe if they did we've both would have had a happily ever after.

"…Maybe in a next life you'll get a better me…"

(He begins to sob) Brendan fucking Brady, how in the fuck am I supposed to move on, to forget, am I really suppose to walk through this damn village letting

everyone believe that he is a monster?

He's not. He's not…

I went to Ireland a couple of days after Brendan was sentenced stay for about a month. At first I stayed with Chez for couple of days, then made my way down

to Dublin for a while… don't ask me why cause I couldn't tell you why.

I thought I would be able to clear my head you know get away from the village for a while and I don't know just, I don't know… A whole month in Ireland, crazy

I know I kind of just found meself just there.

First at the hotel Brendan and I had stayed then well then I found myself at Ha'penny Bridge staring, just staring at the pad lock we have placed on the railing.

" …Cause I love ya, cause I can't live my life without ya…"

We were free! We… we were starting new, starting a new life, together like it always should have been. It was never supposed to end this way! I mean seriously

how, how is this fair! Chez gets a happily ever after while her brother ROTS IN FUCKING JAIL!

WHY! God… why… (he begins to sobs even harder)

She even invited me to her wedding…I don't really want to go, but… well I have to go, I know Brendan wants me to be there, he would want me there for him

and for Chez…

This isn't right. Nothing, he should be here with me, he and I should be getting a happy ending… How, how is this life fair?

If it … this… this is all Walkers doing and the trash of a person Kevin. Kevin the fucker, if he had only… only stay out of it… if Walker had just missing none of

this would be happening! Justice

Brendan, he deserves better. He deserves so much more…

Brendan Fucking Brady, always stuck in my head! He's always there no amount of whiskey or any other type of booze can't get him out!

I've push everyone who loves me away… I gave them no choice really I've treated everyone in that damn village like shit!

Fuck, god knows they deserve it. Pieces of Shits!

"… Grow up, Ste. You're not Brendan Brady and you never will be alright!"

Well I guess Darren is right. I'm not. I'm done. I'm done with everything, but I'll tell you one thing… I can sure raise some hell…

The village thinks just cause he gone that they can just spit on him, that they can disrespect him?

They're sadly mistaken, they've had the month of peace and with Chez Chez up for sale I think it time to get home…

I know he wanted me to move on, but I can't, I don't care. I love him...

So, I will wait…

After all it's for love…