Coulson made sure to keep those files away from her per her request but if the universe hates you it always finds a way to shove what you've lost down your throat. But she chose it to be that way, Skye chose to go down that path and she couldn't undo it now.
They were never going to work, anyway.
Someone once said that trust is like a mirror, if it breaks you can still put the pieces back together but you'll always be able to see the cracks on your reflection. He lied to her and she lied right back, they hurt each other and no matter how much she wanted to, back then she couldn't look past their blood stained history.
So she let him go. The day he he had fulfilled his deal with Coulson he came to find her. Ward told her the truth about everything, from beginning to end. Still she shut him down because she was so hurt merely the idea of being around him felt like the bullet holes on her stomach were wide open, bleeding all over again.
Many years ago the only thing burning through her veins was rage and pain, Skye never expected to actually regret her decision, Lance had warned her but she stubbornly told him to fuck off. She knew better, Skye always knew better what was best for her and maybe her decision wasn't that bad, maybe it was for the best, maybe just maybe she wasn't as in love with Ward as she thought and maybe forgetting him would get easier with time.
Seven years later the feelings didn't waver, not even for a brief seconds. The harder she tried to put the flame out the brighter it burned but eventually she learned to live with it. Skye threw herself into her work, she had a team of gifted people to put together and she focused on that while he went on to build a family, a family once upon a time they were supposed to build together. But they didn't and Skye would hate to admit it to anyone but seeing him like this hurt, looking at the pictures laid before her, pain was all she could feel. The what ifs hurt her like nothing before.
What it could have been.
What it never was.
Her eyes lingered o one particular shot of him, he looked older, wiser and that stupid beard was back on his face. He also looked more relaxed, gone was Agent Grant Ward, traitor Grant Ward, the Grant Ward that was able to fit in whichever box people asked him to.
Skye could tell from the way he moved, the way he dressed, the countless shots of him and 33 making out or walking hand in hand, everything about him were changed. A small part of her hoped that maybe the Grant Ward she fell in love with never existed, that it was just a facade to keep up appearances, because that kept her sane. Maybe the man in the pictures was who he truly was and that man was a stranger, that man was easier to ignore than the memory she was desperately holding on.
He also looked happier and the most relaxed she had ever seen him. Her gaze locked on the toddler in his arms, the little boy couldn't be more than four. He looked content snuggled against his father's neck, his little arms wrapped around Ward. Once upon a time she would be the toddler's mother, she would be the one standing by his side with her arms carved around her huge stomach as they walked down the street. But Skye wasn't, instead she choose to stay where she was and hold on to a life she didn't even know if she wanted.
She didn't know she was crying until she felt the tears fall, Skye took a deep breath and pulled herself together the same way May taught her, pushing any emotion down, and closed the file. Tracing the letters on the front page once more she put it back to its place, there was no point in crying over spilled milk. They all made their choices, he moved on with 33, she stayed with Coulson and Shield. Skye at least hopped he was happier with his life choices than she was with hers.
"Love?" She forced a fake smile that could easily pass as real these days and turned to face Lance. "Ready to go home?"
"In a minute." She said and he got the message. Lance backed out of the room quietly and let her be. After so many years he knew when not to push her. Thinking about it he was the only thing that brought her some kind of pleasure, even if it was just physical. They weren't together, oh god no, they could never be together! Too screwed up to actually build a relationship, their past love life didn't really gave them a choice, but Skye would admit that he was one of the best lovers she ever had.
Funny thing how life played out like a movie with a crappy scenario. It felt like it, Skye felt like someone else was writing her story because if she had a saying in it many things would have been different. If she was the writer she would go back to the first day they met, she would try harder to get him to open up, to save him and save both of their futures in the process. She would insist he talk to her that night in that crappy hotel instead of May and kick Garrett's ass for hurting him like that.
If she was the writer they would both be happy now, off to a beach house far far away from everything, drinking cocktails and making love by the sea. But she wasn't and she got dealt the short hand so she was stuck here and there was nothing she could do about it. She shook her head and grabbed the file with the details for her next mission.
There was nothing she could do about it now. Maybe in another life they'd get to be together but not in this one.
