Author: Pixie-Rings
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: mentions of Teddy/James and Remus/Sirius
Genre: spiritual, hurt/comfort, vaguely songfic
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Belongs to J.K Rowling. If I were she, I'd be rich, which is a reason not to sue me. I own nothing except the clothes on my back, the glasses on my face and the cats on my sofa. Actually, the sofa is my landlady's.
Word count: 2,293
Warning: none
Summary: Whenever Teddy is in need someone comes to comfort him.
A/n: Inspired by Kate Rusby's Moon Shadow (which I have to thank Rae's fanmix for). I am truly an idiot, because during this I started crying and couldn't stop, so it was written in intermediate intervals between fits of tears. I'm a sucker for stories like this, I really am. To cry at my own fic, really, that's the top, isn't it?
It was Teddy's first memory.
He must have been about two, almost three. He'd wandered off and lost Gran at a Weasley garden party. It was early evening, and growing steadily darker, and his apprehension soon turned to panicked sobbing as he ran among the orchard trees, far from the noise of laughter and talk and George's raucous singing, calling for his Gran and Harry in a tear-choked voice that certainly couldn't be heard. He stopped, gasping, the darkness around him nearly complete, and wailed.
Shhh, Teddy…Teddy peeked through his fingers.
A huge dog stood before him, its head cocked to one side. Gran didn't like big dogs, she said they reminded her of bad memories, but this dog had light grey eyes and seemed to be looking at Teddy with affection.
Teddy sniffled, lowering his hands from his face.
"Doggie…" he said with a croaky voice, reaching out a hand to the dog. He supposed it was black, but it seemed to shimmer, like moon-colour. The dog pressed its head to his hand, and its fur was soft and warm.
Come with me.
Teddy knew dogs couldn't talk, but it almost seemed this one could. It turned and Teddy took a gentle hold of its tail. Slowly so Teddy could keep up with him, he led him back to where he could see the light from the Chinese lanterns Aunty Fleur and Aunty Angelina had hung from the trees. Everyone was calling his name, and they seemed anxious.
With a cry of joy, he let go of the dog's tail and ran towards the light.
"Gran!"
His Gran turned a look of utmost relief on her face, and Harry rushed to his side, picking him up.
"Don't ever do that again!" he said fiercely, shaking him slightly. Teddy nodded and hugged Harry tightly. Next Gran took him and hugged him intensely.
"I got lost, but the big doggie brought me back!" he said happily. Gran told him not to speak nonsense, but Harry looked out to where Teddy had come from, an odd look on his face.
Teddy didn't see the dog again until he about five. Gran had taken his nightlight away, saying he was old enough to sleep without it now, but Teddy knew that things were watching him in the dark, things that would take him away if he dared to move or close his eyes. He'd never been so afraid. They'd slither out from beneath the bed, and creak his wardrobe door open and drag him in it.
He cowered, trying not to make a noise as tears began leaking from the corners of his eyes. A noise would give them a reason to come out.
Suddenly, something shimmered in front of him. He trembled in fear for a moment but the dog was sitting there. It stepped up to him and nuzzled his cheek, and Teddy reached out a hand to touch the long, silky fur at its neck.
I'm here, said the voice, you can go to sleep, I'll keep watch.
Teddy felt his eyes droop tiredly. "Will you stay all night?"
The dog seemed to smile. Of course. They won't get you.
Teddy drifted off to sleep, his hand still in the dog's warm fur.
When he woke up, Gran had opened his curtains, and warm sunlight poured cheerily through the window. The dog was gone, but Teddy could still feel its fur.
The next time the dog came he was eight. He knew at eight he was too old to be crying, but he couldn't help it. At school, everyone seemed to have a mum and dad. All the other children would talk about their parents, would tell all the amazing things they did. As much as Teddy loved Gran, he wished his mum and dad were here. He wished they weren't dead.
He sniffled and wiped his nose, trying not to make to much noise. Gran would tell him off for crying if she heard him.
Something touched his hand, cold and wet, and he blinked away the tears to see the shimmering dog.
"You're here again?" he asked in a whisper, smiling. The dog licked his hand and laid its head on the edge of the bed, its nose under Teddy's chin.
Your dad loves you, Teddy, and so does your mum.
Teddy's eyes widened and he sat up. "They do?" he murmured. The dog placed its two front paws on the bed.
Of course. They're watching you, and even if they're not close, they're with you.
"Did they send you?" he asked, drawing his knees up to his chest.
No, but I come when you need me, because your dad is very special to me, and so are you.
Teddy's smile widened. "Will you always come when I need you?"
Whenever the moon shines and you want help, I'll come.
Teddy lay back down and patted the bed, shifting over so the huge dog could get up. It lay next to him and Teddy buried his face in its neck, lulled to sleep by its soft, even breathing.
Teddy didn't need the dog again until he was eleven. He had never slept away from home or Harry's, and he was lonely, and homesick. Hogwarts was wonderful, but he hadn't eaten anything and he was so, so scared of what tomorrow would bring.
He tweaked his yellow bed-hangings open and looked out of the window at the moon, like a cat's claw in the velveteen blue night. He wished the dog were here.
The bed sank slightly, and Teddy turned to see the dog sitting there. Teddy hugged it.
I'm here, it said, I'll keep you company. You're never alone, Teddy.
Teddy smiled into its fur and dragged it down with him, and the dog let him. He cuddled up to it all night, its warmth a comfort through the lonely night.
The next morning, he wasn't scared anymore.
Teddy, by the time he was fifteen, had begun to think of the dog as a dream. He dismissed it as his imagination, but he never told anyone about it. Not for fear of mockery, but because it was secret. The dog had been there for him, even if it had only been a figment of his subconscious, and he kept a special place in heart for it.
The dog came unexpectedly not long after. He was so frightened of everything right now, frightened of what his friends would think, frightened of Gran and Harry's reactions… Frightened of the future.
Teddy…Teddy jumped and whipped around, shocked. If possible, the dog shocked him even more. The dog just sat there calmly, thought, waiting patiently, and Teddy couldn't be shocked at it anymore. If anything, his heart was relieved it really existed.
He tried not to cry as he pulled it closer, comforted by familiar fur and warmth against his chest.
"Is there something wrong with me?" he asked it in a whisper for fear of waking his dorm mates. The dog nuzzled his hair.
No, there's nothing wrong with you.
"But I-"
There's nothing wrong with it at all. You'll find someone to love, rest assured.
"You mean that?" he asked, pulling away and gazing into its soft silver eyes. They looked so affectionate, so warm, so human…
There's someone for everyone, Teddy.
"My parents don't hate me for it, do they?" he questioned worriedly. The dog's eyes smiled for it.
No, they love you just the same. They wouldn't hate you just for this.
Teddy smiled gratefully.
"I'm glad you're always here for me. I'm glad you're not just a dream," he whispered, scratching the dog's ears. It closed its eyes in satisfaction, silent for a moment as it enjoyed Teddy's caresses.
I always will be.
He swallowed and sighed. "Can… can you tell Mum and Dad I love them?" he asked tentatively.
I will.
The dog left when Teddy lay down to sleep.
When he was seventeen, he found the truth in a cardboard box marked 'For Teddy' in a hand he didn't recognise.
"Your father left me this for you," Harry said, handing it to him. "He said to give it to you when you were old enough. Given the circumstances, I think you are."
When Teddy had opened the box, he'd found a letter, a small plain wooden box, a photo album and a red leather diary.
He'd read the letter, and refused to open the album or the trinket box, and he damned well wasn't going to read the diary.
Everything he'd been told up to now had been a lie. Everything about his father, and his mother, and Harry's godfather had been nothing but a well-spun weave of untruths. He hated it, he hated them, and he hated himself. He shouldn't even exist.
That night the dog appeared again.
"What do you want?" he snapped at it. The dog didn't look hurt, but padded up to him and placed his head on the side of the bed, like the first night it had spent with him, and sighed.
He hoped you'd understand. Don't think they don't love you, because they do.
Teddy tried to stay angry, but he couldn't. What the dog had said had been exactly what he'd been thinking, and he buried his face in his pillow, shoulders shaking with sobs. The dog kept his head against Teddy's shoulder, the small gesture a great comfort, and stayed there until he stopped crying.
"Do you know Sirius?" Teddy asked, wiping his eyes. "Does he hate me?"
The dog cocked its head. Sirius doesn't hate you. He cares about you, because you're Remus's son.
"But he must hate my mum…" Teddy muttered.
Hatred means little when you have all eternity, and they care about each other. She's happy, don't worry.
Teddy smiled slightly. "You always know what to say. I don't know how I could have gotten this far without you."
The dog huffed. There was a time when I didn't know what to say or what to do. I made a lot of people suffer because of that.
Teddy reached out a hand and ruffled his ears. "You can only make people feel better, don't think so little of yourself."
The dog's ears perked up slightly and it licked his hand.
Teddy fell asleep not long after. The next morning he opened the album and looked at the photographs of his father and Sirius.
The dog didn't come back until Teddy was twenty-three. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, head held in his hands. How James, across the bed, could sleep, was beyond him. He was so worried about tomorrow, he could barely move.
They'll understand, Teddy.
Teddy raised his head in surprise. The dog was there, its head cocked and its silver eyes shining, and it seemed to be smiling.
I told you you'd find someone to love, didn't I?It looked at James, and Teddy turned to watch him, watch his back rise and fall gently with his even breath, his arm alongside Teddy from where he'd moved it from his chest to sit up. His heart felt as if it would burst, and he tucked some of James's fringe back, but as soon as he moved his hand, it fell back into place. Teddy made a small noise of fond amusement and turned back to the dog, whose eyes locked onto his own.
"I did," he murmured. He reached out and fondled the dog's head.
They all love you, you know. They'll understand what you and James have, and accept it.
Teddy smiled. "I know they will now, because you've told me," he said. He took a deep breath, fighting back an incomprehensible sadness that flooded him, blinking his eyes rapidly. "Thank you for being there for me all this time, Padfoot," he said. "I don't think you'll need to come back again."
Padfoot placed two paws on either side of Teddy's legs and lifted himself up and Teddy hugged him, tight as he dared.
"I'll miss you," he said, his voice cracking.
So will I. Your dad sends his love. So does Dora.
"Give them mine," Teddy told him. "Tell… tell Dad I'm glad he has you with him, and that you have him with you."
He pulled back, ruffling his hands in the thick fur at Padfoot's neck, and the dog licked his face before disappearing slowly, until Teddy was left holding nothing but moonbeams and memories.
He sniffed and chuckled at his own foolishness, and tucked himself back under the covers, pulling James close again. The younger man made a noise and snuggled up to Teddy, winding an arm around his waist. Soon Teddy fell asleep, and when the morning came, he knew everything would be all right.
