[Authors Note: The author does not condone the violence used throughout this fanfic. Reader descretion is advised.]

My name is ArrowBlitz. You may recognize me from my previous adventure, The Rise of Discord. What, NO?! Well then, you'll have a hard time finding out who I am. Whatever the hell I'm doing here is beyond me, but what I do know, is that I am supposed to teach you worthless sacks of hay how to raise a foal properly. In their early years, you are supposed to treat them with tender and loving care. Even if they are being evil pieces of manure.

{"SKYWIND! DON'T TOUCH THAT! THAT IS VERY FRAGILE!" *Glass shatters* "Aw man! There goes Gram-gram's ashes..."}

Sometimes your worthless A-I mean adorable bundles of joy can get into trouble. This probably means you were a coke-head, and probably didn't foal-proof your home. Hey! Don't yell at me! Your the one who didn't give a mare's plot-hole about your foal's safety! Anyway, for those who are more educated and not HIGH, to keep your foal as safe from household accidents as can be, you can do the following: You can put gates around stairwell. Or you can choose not to if you are HIGH! You can put locks on your oven because if you are HIGH, your foals will get in the oven and burn to death. And finally if you are civilized and not HIGH, you can get plastic plug covers so your foals do not get fried due to you being HIGH!

Later on in their lives, your foals will go into the terrible twos stage, where basically it is hell for the parent until it gets worse. They will do so many things such as trashing the finally clean room, breaking glass antiques, and smashing the urn that Gram-grams ashes were in.

{*Sniff, sniff* Celestia bless her soul...}

Anyway, during the terrible twos, foals go through a phase called the "Mine" phase. The phase is basically what title suggests. The foal goes through a time where they think everything is theirs. They will take literally anything they can get their hands on, such as a COKE- HEAD'S best friend, c****ne. That's right folks, if you are HIGH, chances are, in the "Mine" phase, your foal will get HIGH to. And that's where drug addicts come from. That's right, when parents are HIGH, their little foals are able to get their tiny hooves on the white nose candy and become drug addicts.

Anyway, nearing the ending stages of being a foal, your colt or filly can, and will develop some sense of responsibility. Maybe not respect, but certainly responsibility. Your foal will want to help out more around the house, so please feel free to fill them to the top with chores. At this age, your foal will practically be your personal butler. So at least the ones that are HIGH, can sit back get REHAB!

Thank you for paying attention folks. My name is ArrowBlitz, and I will see you in the next stage, KINDERGARTEN! See you then!

[Authors note: Well then... That was sure something. Thank you Arrow, for what ever the hell that just was. Thank you all for reading and I'll see you in the next chapter!]