Stef and Lena help Mariana get over the awkwardness of having Ana staying with them.
(Taken from the Sneak Peek of the episode End of the Beginning 221. It starts when the whole family is at breakfast and Mariana asks Lena about using an auditorium for their dance-off.)
"Oh uh, mama, did we hear anything from St. Tristan's yet?" Mariana asked sensing the awkwardness in the room. "Are they gonna lend us their auditorium for the dance-off Monday?"
"Um... yes they are." Lena replied.
"Excellent." Mariana said with a wide smile. She glanced around the room looking pleased and saw something in Ana's face that made her feel weird. She brushed it off as curiosity but in her gut she felt weird calling Lena 'mama' in front of Ana and so she began explaining about the meet. "Oh, there are two dance teams for the school." She said for Ana's benefit. "But only one can represent at state so we're doing a dance-off so the students can decide."
"Oh." Ana smiled. "Sound's exciting."
"Yeah, and stressful." Mariana groaned. "It's become like a thing and now the whole student body wants to come."
"Oh please, you love it." Jesus teased.
"Shut up." Mariana told her twin.
"Hey, language please." Stef chastised.
No one expected what Ana said next.
"When you were little, anytime I put on music, you would wear one of my old t-shirts like a dress and you'd dance all around and of course we had to watch you or you'd get so mad." Ana related.
"Really?" Mariana smiled, loving hearing a story about when she was little. "I don't remember that."
"I do." Jesus assured. "Some things never change."
Ana and the twins smiled at the memory while the other four in the room sat in awkward silence. Ana glanced at Stef and Lena and realized what was happening and looked away. These weren't her kids anymore and all she had with them were the memories.
Through the day Mariana began to feel more and more awkward. She wanted to know more about her life from before. All she really remembered were the bad times, especially since the good ones were few and far between but Ana had those memories and Mariana wanted her to share.
Late that afternoon Mariana was practicing her routine out back when Ana came to watch her. The house was empty with the exception of Jude who was watching T.V. Stef was at work, Lena was at school working on the never-ending budget, Brandon was out with Lou who had finally agreed to talk to him, Callie was at the center and Jesus was off somewhere doing god-knows-what.
"You're good." Ana said as she sat down on one of the lawn chairs.
"Thanks." Mariana said, panting. She had been at it for over an hour now and really needed a break. "I really want this perfect. I can't let Kaitlyn win."
"Do your best and have fun. That's all that really matters." Ana said.
"You sound like my moms." Mariana smiled and then turned away awkwardly suddenly realized what she'd said and it didn't go unnoticed by Ana either.
"Well you were like that as a little kid too." Ana said. "If you set your mind on something you'd work and work and work until you had it perfect.
Mariana smiled shyly, hoping that Ana would go on.
"One time you and your brother found this old puzzle in the trash down the street. Some of the pieces were missing and the little bits that fit into each other were broken off but you two decided to try it anyways. Your brother gave up pretty quickly but you just kept going for hours till you finally finished it." Ana relayed, smiling at the memory. "Well, whatever you could finish, it was missing so many pieces."
"How old was I?" Mariana asked. She couldn't remember any of these stories and most of what she did remember wasn't really worth remembering.
"About five or six." Ana said. "It was right before they took you away." Her smile faded. That was the time that they never came back. "You went into foster care and then about two years later they told me you were being adopted."
"We had a good life." Mariana said sympathetically. "Stef and Lena have been great to us." She was trying to make Ana feel a little better about what happened - that the end result wasn't so bad.
"Yes they have." Ana said, holding back her tears. "That's why I'm so thankful that they agreed to take this baby too." She absentmindedly rubbed her stomach. "I'd never be as good a mother as them."
"I should keep practicing." Mariana said awkwardly. She didn't know what to say to Ana, especially since she couldn't deny that it was the truth.
"Yeah." Ana smiled, understanding that this was too much for the young girl. "I'll let you get back to it."
Monday afternoon the auditorium was packed with kids and family members all eager to watch the dance-off. Just as she knew they would be, Mariana found her family sitting in the third row, taking up most of the seats. Both her moms looked so proud as did her brothers and sister. Even Ana looked happy though she seemed a little uncomfortable in the crowd. Mariana smiled and waved to her family before going back stage to get ready.
Less than two hours later she as coming running back towards her moms as both of them hugged her, giving her numerous kisses all over her face. They were so proud of her and her team - they had been amazing and although the votes hadn't come in yet it was almost certain that Mariana's team would win - the students were fed up of Kaitlyn's bossiness and since Mariana's team could definitely keep up they were the ones to be chosen.
After about five minutes of everyone praising Mariana and telling her just how proud they were of her, Tia called out her name.
"Can I go celebrate with the team?" Mariana asked. "We're all going out for ice-cream or something."
"Yes." Lena said. "But be back by curfew please and don't do anything you aren't supposed to."
"And call me if you need me to come pick you up." Stef added, knowing that the girls would be out right until the end."
"I promise." Mariana smiled. "Thanks mo..." But she stopped. With Ana standing right there she felt weird calling them mom."
Stef and Lena shared a glance, knowing that this was having more of an effect on their daughter than she was letting on.
"Go have fun." Stef said, giving her an excuse to get away.
"Thanks." Mariana said again, more awkwardly this time. "Bye." She waved before disappearing to where the rest of her team was waiting.
"Eight years on and she still feels so insecure." Lena said to Stef. The two were in their room changing into more comfortable clothes before they headed down to start dinner.
"It's just who she is love." Stef tried to make Lena feel better. She knew things like this hurt Lena more than she liked, especially now, after losing Frankie and Mariana questioning her reasons for wanting a baby in the first place.
"I just wish she knew how much we love her." Lena said sadly.
"She does." Stef assured. "And she uses it to her full advantage, begging us to buy her new clothes and shoes all the time." Stef teased with a smile.
Both moms smiled though neither of them would change one thing about their daughter.
That is until it was half an hour past her curfew and Mariana still hadn't come back home. The family was done with dinner and Stef, Lena and Ana were drying the dishes.
"She knows she has to be home by seven on a school night." Lena said. "It's hard enough getting them all up and ready on time."
"They beg us for cell phones but then don't answer when we call." Stef grumbled as Mariana's phone continued to ring. "She better be home this minute or she's never allowed out again."
"I just hope she's okay." Lena said, worried. "I don't want a repeat of last time."
"What happened last time?" Ana inquired.
"Mariana went to a friend's party and ended up getting drunk." Lena explained.
"They didn't go to a party though, did they?" Ana asked.
"No." Stef said. "But what's worse is that I hope she isn't doing something stupid that isn't in a friends house. There is so much crap on the street."
Lena cringed and without even having to look at her Stef apologized.
"Where have you been?" Stef yelled ten minutes later when Mariana walked through the door. Everyone else was upstairs and Stef and Lena had waited down in the living room for their daughter.
"I'm sorry." Mariana said, panting and looking guilty. "We went down to pier and lost track of time." It was obvious that she had come home in a hurry.
"You didn't think to call?" Stef asked.
"There was this concert going on, some street groups performed without any instruments but it was loud and I didn't hear. I'm really sorry." Mariana said.
"We were so worried Mariana." Lena added. "You know the rules."
"I said I was sorry." Mariana defended. "I didn't do anything, it was just loud and we lost track of the time."
"That is not an excuse and you know it." Stef said.
"Look it won't happen again, I promise." Mariana tried to assure them.
"You bet it won't." Stef said angrily. "You're grounded for a month, school and back and nothing more."
"WHAT?" Mariana asked in anger. "I said I was sorry and I didn't do anything and a month is really overdoing it."
"Well that's my call to make." Stef said angrily. Now that Mariana was home safe she was just plain angry. No matter how many times she warned her kids about the dangers out there they never seemed to listen.
"That's not fair. I have dance practice after school." Mariana argued.
"No, you know what isn't fair... Us, worrying about you and having no idea where you are." Stef yelled back.
"You know you get consequences when you break the rules Mariana." Lena added. "This isn't news to you."
"You can't do that." Mariana yelled, her teenage rebellion shining through.
"Oh yes we can." Stef said firmly.
"No, you can't." Mariana yelled back even louder. "You're not my mom." She said in pure anger before stomping up the stairs leaving behind two rather shocked women.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Jesus asked, entering the bathroom where his twin was wiping away the makeup from her face.
"What?" Mariana asked angrily.
"Why would you say that?" Jesus asked.
"Say what?" Mariana asked, not in the mood do deal with Jesus at the moment.
"Say what you did to mom." Jesus said, equally angry. "Ana's back so you just toss them aside again?" He defended his mothers.
"What are you talking about?" Mariana asked, still too annoyed have this conversation.
"This is exactly what you did the last time." Jesus pointed out. "You always act like Ana is everything and Stef and Lena are nothing."
"That's not true." Mariana defended herself.
"Really?" Jesus challenged. "You forget what happened last time? And it started like this, Ana came back into your life and you suddenly got embarrassed about moms and wouldn't dance with them at your quinceanera and you stole money for her and nearly got mom killed."
"That wasn't all on me." Mariana shot back. "You're the one that went to meet Ana that night."
"Yeah, but you're the one that keeps bringing her back into our lives." Jesus said.
"Um no." Mariana said. "You're the one that found out she was pregnant."
"But you asked moms to adopt the baby." Jesus pointed out. "It was so important to you, why do you think they said yes."
"So you're saying that you don't care about what happens to our sister?" Mariana asked, emphasizing on the last two words.
"I do, but that's the point." Jesus said. "It's because of us that they are doing this. They weren't ready to just replace Frankie like that but because she's our sister they're doing it. And you treat them like crap."
"I'm not treating them like crap." Mariana said. "They are just being unfair. I just made a team and now I'm grounded."
"Big deal." Jesus said. "They love you and they do everything for you and you hurt them. They are your moms, not Ana." Jesus yelled.
The two continued arguing about who their mothers were and who was wrong when Stef and Lena came upstairs and heard the commotion. It was clear that everyone could hear it but they were all keeping their distance.
"Hey, hey, hey." Stef said, opening the bathroom room and hearing the other kids and Ana come out into the hall as well. "What's going on in here?"
"He's blaming me for everything." Mariana complained.
"She's being a complete ass." Jesus said at the same time.
And instantly both kids began arguing again.
"You're so ungrateful."
"I am not."
"You don't know how lucky you are."
"You don't know anything."
"You screw up all the time but they still love you."
And it went on...
"ENOUGH." Stef said loudly to be heard over the noise.
Suddenly silence filled the little bathroom as all eyes were on her.
"Jesus go to your room please." Stef said firmly.
Jesus wanted to argue but he knew better and huffed one last time at his sister before leaving the bathroom.
"Mariana come with us please." Stef said as she moved away from the door so that the girl to exit the bathroom.
Outside Mariana saw Callie, Jude, Brandon and Ana all standing around watching. The three kids were just curious about what was happening but Ana looked quite uncomfortable.
Mariana avoided them all as she walked passed them to her moms room with Stef and Lena behind her. She heard them shut the door and only then did she turn around to face them.
"I'm sorry for what I said." Mariana mumbled, aware that she was wrong to say that they weren't her moms.
"Sit down love." Stef said gently causing Mariana to look surprised. She had expected Stef to be angry with her.
"Honey we know that having Ana here is an adjustment for you." Lena began as she went to the bed and pulled Mariana down with her. "It's an adjustment for all of us but the rules don't change just because she's here."
"I know." Mariana said. "I didn't mean to be late. It just happened. We were all so excited and lost track of time."
"We understand that." Stef assured her. "But that doesn't mean you get to talk to us the way you did. We are still your moms and we make these rules to protect you, not to be mean."
"I know, I'm sorry." Mariana said, looking down, still ashamed about what she'd said to them.
"Honey it's okay to want to know Ana, to know your past and have a relationship with her." Lena said gently. "It's the same thing we keep telling Callie too."
"Before we weren't too happy because Ana was still on drugs and she was using you." Stef added. "But even then we understood that you wanted to get to know her. We just wanted you to go about it the right way, so that you weren't in any danger. Honey, we would never keep Ana from you if that's what you want. We may set some rules but she is also your mother and there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to know her."
"It's just weird." Mariana said. "Jesus is right, you guys have done so much for me but I still feel weird calling you mom in front of her."
"That's okay." Stef assured her. It was taking Callie a long time to feel like calling them mom too but they weren't rushing her either. They doubted she'd ever call them that even after she was adopted. "We know it can't be easy."
"She can still be your mom honey." Lena added. "But that doesn't make us any less your mom nor does it make us love you less."
"She knows things about me that nobody else does." Mariana said. "She has all these stories that would be lost if she didn't share them with me."
"That's true." Lena said. "And yes, it's weird to hear her talk about the two of you like that, it's weird for us too but we also like hearing them. We also want to know things about you before you came to live with us."
"I though you guys would be mad." Mariana said. "What Jesus said wasn't true, I wasn't just tossing you guys aside. I know it seems like that sometimes but it's not true."
"We know love." Stef smiled gently.
"It's just, I guess I know you're always going to be there." Mariana tried to explain. "But with Ana she disappears so fast that I don't want to push her away."
Both women smiled. At least their daughter knew that no matter what they would stick around. They couldn't speak for Ana but at least the girl knew that two of her moms would always be there.
"I love you guys so much and you do so much for me, you're taking this baby because of me and I don't want to hurt you." Mariana said, almost in tears.
"You aren't hurting us baby." Lena said. "And yes, we are taking this baby because she's a part of you but that doesn't mean that you have to feel obliged. We are going to love this baby just as much as we love you."
"I'm glad she's not going into foster care." Mariana said. "I didn't want her to go through what we went through. I don't know if Ana will stay clean permanently. Each time we were taken and then given back to her we though she'd be clean for good but it never happened."
"It's not easy honey." Stef said. "It is a lot harder than it sounds. But it doesn't mean that she didn't love you. She probably wanted to keep you and stay clean but sometimes it's out of your control. It takes over. that's why we call it a sickness. It's not always a choice."
"And honey, we're the ones who got to keep you." Lena added. "We got to watch you grow up and we're the ones who get to be so proud of the girl you're becoming but that can't be easy for Ana to watch either. I'm sure watching this family makes her regret what she couldn't do for you and what she missed out on."
"And just like we want to know about your past, she probably wants to know about you now." Stef said. "She looked just as proud of you today as we did."
"Honey you don't have to choose." Lena said. "Legally we are your parents but there is room for Ana in your heart and your life as well."
"As long as you are safe we have no problem with that baby." Stef hugged her. "Just talk to us, let us know what you want and we'll make it work. Don't shut us out."
"I'm sorry." Mariana said one more time. "I didn't want to hurt you either."
"You aren't love." Stef assured her. "We know you love us."
"And as for what happened before, it's all forgive." Lena added. "We don't hold it against you so you need to let go of it as well."
"How did I get so lucky?" Mariana asked, looking between both her moms.
"We're the lucky ones baby." Lena said. "We got to be the moms to such an amazing little girl."
Mariana smiled as she gave each mom a hug. "I'm lucky too." She said.
"Okay, bed time." Stef said. "It's already late and you have a long two weeks of grounding ahead of you."
"Really?" Mariana's face lit up at the fact that her punishment had been cut by half.
"Really." Stef said. "And you can stay at school longer to practice if mama is also gonna be there."
Mariana turned to Lena to see if she agreed and smiled when the woman nodded.
"Thanks moms." Mariana said with no hesitation. "I love you."
"We love you too baby." The moms said as they watched their daughter head to bed.
