Hiya Everyone,this is my second fanfic, and I need betareader please, anyone?

Warning : T for language, slight Mamoru bashing,this story is more like the first story arc, re-written by ME!Har..har..

Notes : This fic is meant to be light hearted, don't take it too seriously. Zoisite is STRAIGHT in this fic, and Rei is in her manga personality, so there will be no raspberry war between Rei & Usagi. And this is not, I repeat, this is NOT an Usagi centered fic. There will be NO pairings for Usagi, enough with the spotlight already!! my first attempt at humor, and also I'm writing this for fun. It's kinda stress relieving really! A little crack won't hurt, right? right?

Flamers, you have no life, go away please. And readers, if you feel like it, please review! Thank's a lot!


PROLOGUE

Queen Beryl is bored. After years of fighting, scheming evil plans, and unsuccessfully trying to kidnap Tuxedo Kamen every time she had a chance, she wondered why she was still hiring these incompetent subordinates, the mighty Four Heavenly Kings or you may call them The Shitennou. "Feh! No wonder they have 'shit' written as their first syllable" she muttered. It's been 5 years since The Dark Kingdom tried to take over the Silver Crystal and rule the world, but their entire plan somehow didn't work. She already gave one of her punishment to Jadeite, the fearful 'Eternal Sleep', and sent the giant crystal case of hunky blond villain into oblivion. But during these years, the Global Warming effect was so powerful it can broke Beryl's spell and melt the ice crystal surrounding Jadeite, set him free.

Hell, even the usually cold and gloomy Dark Kingdom castle was slowly begun to rise in temperature. This gave Queen Beryl the crazy mood swings. "Damn! These stupid humans keep cutting all the trees and wrecking the ozone! I can't stand this heat anymore! Give me my Alaskan iced tea!" She shrieked. In an instance, a random youma emerged from the dark background, bringing her a tall glass of Alaskan iced tea. She sipped rather sloppily and choked"Affggh….what the hell…" the Alaskan iced tea taste more like salted vodka. Apparently the random youma didn't know how to mix drinks. Well, what do you expect? He's a youma not a bartender for metallia's sake. Queen Beryl spat out her curses and toss the Alaskan Iced Tea into oblivionville.

She stood up from her throne, walking back and forth muttering something like "stupid…..Shall punish……".She turned around to see her crystal ball glowing. "O mighty crystal ball…give me your vision…..tell me, where have all those four bastards gone...?" The crystal ball glowed even more, and inside, there was a vision of Jadeite standing inside of a Shinto temple, talking to a beautiful raven haired shrine maiden. Suddenly the vision blurred, and another scene emerged. This time she saw Zoisite, sitting in a balcony and playing chess with a dainty blue haired girl.

"Aaaaaaaaaarrrrgghh…..!!! No…NO….NO!! This can't be!!..."

The crystal ball didn't stop there, another blurring occur and a vision of Kunzite holding hands with a beautiful blonde girl was enough to drive the queen to the verge of insanity. "Aaaaahhh…..My eye! My eyeee!!!" Queen Beryl covered her eyes, and with another eerie shriek she told the crystal ball to stop.

"STOP!!!"

The crystal ball stopped. Beryl was furious. "Hah!! So now I know why they never get the job done! They are busy doing these…these…things…..with those pathetic humans! Imbeciles!" She spat. "Now Beryl, you must think….think of one hell of a punishment for them…why can't I just kill these bastards? No…no….I can't kill them, they are too good to be killed…besides, they have these ominous supernatural powers just like me…hmm….what should I do?" Beryl muttered to herself, while still walking back and forth in front of her throne. Then suddenly, a light bulb appeared on her head."OH!!...oh….Ohohohohohohohoho……."her evil laugh echoed through the Dark Kingdom lair.

"Yes…..I know how to make them….suffer…..OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!…."