chapter 1
Bella's POV
"Edward Cullen is staring at you for the third time today." Jessica told me while we were eating lunch in the cafeteria. I looked over and sure enough he was staring at me AGAIN.
"Maybe you should go see what he wants"
"Or maybe I should stay here and not give a fuck that he's staring at me."
"Bella." I am getting really tired of her telling what to do, and of course I always do it.
"Fine." Of course I gave in and got up from where I was sitting and went to go talk to him.
"What the hell are you doing?" I asked him while sitting down across from him.
"I didn't think I was doing anything wrong." By this point he was smirking.
"You're kidding right? Are you trying to give us away?"
He leaned closer to me "How the hell am I giving us away Bella?" ok he is really making mad at this point. Why is he being so ignorant?
"Oh because it's not every day the hot bad boy of the school looks at the plain Jane sort of popular girl."
"you're wrong?"
"I am not wrong, I am correct."
"No I mean you are wrong about being plain." When he said that the blush started coming. He is the only one who can make me blush and smile like this.
"Edward please stop, by the way where is the rest of your family?"
"Well Alice is still in the hospital, Jasper hasn't left her side, and Emmett is still moping over Rosalie being in Paris."
"How is Alice doing?" Alice is Edward's sister, Jasper her boyfriend and her got in a car accident a few days ago, and she is still hurt really badly.
"Not good, you could visit her you know. She really misses you."
"Yah well you know how I feel about hospitals. After what happened to my mom, I can't go back." My mom died sometime last year and that is actually how Edward and me got in the position we are in today.
"Yah I'm sorry I forgot." He actually looked really sad.
"It's ok" I know he felt bad. Then the bell rang. "Can I go to your house after school please?"
"Yah sure. Esme misses you too, we all do." He was now tracing my hand; I was about ready to hold it when I realized that we were still around people. So I pulled my hand away. He looked hurt.
"I'll see you in biology. Ok?"
"yah sure."
I walked out of the lunch room and went to the bathroom to freshen up. I really hated to see him that hurt. I started to think about two months ago when I was sitting in Edward's living room with Japer, Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett.
"Would you guys ever do your life over? I mean if you had a choice to rewind life would you do it?"
"Alice don't get all dramatic on us." Emmett hated when things got dramatic, that's why he never had the balls to ask Rosalie to marry him.
"No actually that is a good question. I would rewind to the day before my mom's death. I would change it." I said getting a little sad now. But then I felt Edward squeeze my hand and he pulled me back into reality.
"What would you change?" Alice asked getting worried that she made me sad.
"I don't know everything, maybe nothing at all. I wish I could go back and just leave her a note saying I'm at a party don't come looking for me, or I would of just stayed home and not gone to the party at all. I just keep on thinking there must be something I could of done to make sure that she didn't get in that car. Something I could of said so she wouldn't have come looking for me."
"Well enough of this shit let's do something else." Emmett always ruined the moment.
"like what?"
"I don't know. Make out?" we all laughed when Emmett slapped Rosalie upside the head.
Later that night
I and Edward were lying on his bed with his arms wrapped around me. And he was kissing down my neck.
"you know Alice didn't mean to make you sad."
"I know it's just thinking about my mom, it just takes me back to a memory I don't want to go back to. I miss her but at the same time I don't want to remember her."
"Then don't just think about right here, right now, with me."
"You're right, that is really all I need to think about." Then I got up and straddled his waist and told him "we have a long night ahead of us."
Present
I never really knew why Edward and me Haven't told people about us. It sometimes bugs me. I mean we have been together for a whole year. I wouldn't even call it together, the only thing we really call it is secret friends with benefits. We never called each other boyfriend and girlfriend, we were just Edward and Bella. I'll admit I have strong feelings for Edward, he is the only one who really gets me. I feel like we complete each other. He is a bad boy, he is into rock bands, drugs, and just plain old troublesome things, and I bring out the good in him. The it is the other way around. I go to church, I always help others, and I can't hurt people's feelings, but he brings out the bad in me. i love him for showing me the side he won't even let his family see, I love him when he is the sweet Edward, caring Edward, and the Edward that actually listens to me, and holds me when I have nightmares of my mother. WAIT did I just say love?
