Yo people~ Another… uhm, mind-minute disorder… Just couldn't get the idea out of my head, sorry if it's pretty senseless fluff- again.
Warning: I advice you to cover your eyes while you still can. I'll probably poke 'em out later so I can safely say that someone cried blood and was truly touched from this story.
Disclaimer:
Maybe I own it, Maybe I don't. Take a good guess, people.
If you selected the first option, I love you; If you picked the second, you're smart then.
Seriously, who would choose knowledge when in ignorance you can posses the love of a gorgeous and good-looking Greek god?
…
And yes, if you didn't get it; that was a deliberate threat.
***
"It's the Little Things That Count"
Tick.
Tock.
Tick.
Tock.
Coal black eyes snapped open at the sound.
Tick.
Tock.
Tick.
Tock.
'A… clock?' his frizzled mind managed to come up with a single question. Why was there a clock in his room? Didn't he just break it the morning before?
Oh well. Let's break it again then.
And just when one of his pale hands reached out to grab the offending contraption and smash it against the innocent wall, a sudden electric jolt of pain shot through Sasuke's skull.
"Oh shit… K-kami my head…" his eyes widened to the size of mini-plates as he cursed in surprise, with a voice too raspy for his own liking.
Why did his brain feel like it had just been run over by a million pound truck and gazillions of electric bolts were now kicking it into oblivion? Did he get into a fight? No, maybe he overdid his thesis last night? Or maybe…
He scrunched up his face in distaste.
Great.
A fuckingly hellish, murderous and craptastic hangover.
Just great.
If that alcoholic smell coming from the frog print infested sheets weren't an indication that he had been dead drunk, possibly even passed out the night before; then he would totally slash Kiba's throat right now for singing horrible pop songs on the top of his lungs in the shower every single fucking day. He seriously needs to find another roommate.
Wha-?
The Uchiha then rubbed his head in utter confusion.
"What the… fuck?"
Frog prints.
…
Hallucinations.
Ah, yes; gotta be hallucinations from too much liquor. He was very much assured that he had been sleeping on plain white bed sheets ever since the day he cursed colors.
…
Fuck, was that… was that orange?
And that's when the clear unfamiliarity of the room finally kicked him straight to his senses.
His deep, onyx eyes spanned across the messy room; of course. How could he not have noticed?
Clothes strewn everywhere, walls covered with the same horrid amphibian character and- the fact that certainly cut off any suspicion of someone renovating his room into a kids learning center- was that there's nothing remotely black within the four walls of said medium sized apartment.
"Naru…to" he mumbled in a daze. Smirking lightly to himself at the thought of his blonde lover bringing him home, he wondered if Naruto had planned all this in the first place. Heh, that kinky little dobe of his; he sure loves forepla-
Wait a sec.
That… wasn't quite right… He was out late working for a part time job last night, wasn't he? Then how did he manage to come here dead drunk, up to his room… without... waking… Naruto… up…
"Oh fuck, Naruto!"
Within seconds, Uchiha Sasuke was out of bed, practically scurrying out of the covers like a frantic cat then running straight to the bathroom with impressive speed, only to stare at himself through the body-sized mirror glued on the wall.
Well… he didn't look like shit. And there was certainly no trace of a slap, punch or kick anywhere. He lifted every joint and tested them out, just to see if they were working properly. Nope, no sprains or fractures whatsoever. Not even a bruise.
Wasn't Naruto hiding a butcher knife somewhere in his apartment for situations like this? Then… why was he still alive and non-mutilated?
And, most notably… he was fully clothed. Huh. There goes his kinky fantasy.
Sasuke scratched the back of his head uneasily. This is not good. Totally fuck-me-sideways not good. After making his way back to the bed he had been sleeping on previously, he opted to lie down again to think.
Hn. So Naruto didn't kick his ass in a fierce frenzy for doing something undeniably stupid, like drinking himself silly when he knew he had low alcohol tolerance; then probably waking the blonde up in the middle of the night only to vomit shit at him. And just why, exactly? He was so damn sure that he came here, literally puking his guts out, barely alive and sober. Well, not that he remembered; but the obvious strain in his stomach was enough proof of an intensely disgusting food discharge.
Again, he rubbed his aching forehead, trying to remember just what happened the night before.
So he had been riding in Neji's van after class…
***
"Aw, come on; whipped much, Uchiha?"
"Shut up, dog boy. I don't drink with insufferable excuses for humans."
"Oooh~ touché… Naruto's leash that tight, 'teme'?" Kiba teased back, pathetically imitating his blonde lover's voice and copying the trademark insult.
Sasuke smirked at that, "No, but mine is; and so is his ass."
A series of disgusted groans followed, promptly made by Kiba and Shikamaru; clearly the only one's straight and downright disturbed from the group.
"Oh crap, Uchiha; spare my non-homosexual ears!"
"Hn." Was the only victorious reply.
"Loosen up a bit, Sasuke, I'm sure Naruto-kun wouldn't mind you having a little fun; after topping the bar exam and all." The one behind the van's stirring wheel spoke up.
"I know, Neji. It's just that…"
"You didn't tell him, huh?"
"Well, yeah. I wasn't planning on coming along this…happy ride, whatever you call it."
"Sheesh, what a guy, not knowing the term joyride; I swear I can prove you're an assassin type robot shipped straight from who-knows-where, Uchiha. The metallically boring aura you're emitting just gives me the heebie-jeebies."
"Maybe you can text him then?" Neji suggested, steadfastly ignoring Kiba's comment.
Sasuke shook his head at that, "The dobe lost the cell phone I gave him."
"See?! I told you he was soooo whipped!" again, Kiba laughed manically and punched the pissed off raven by the arm.
"Oh, Kiba; I didn't know you liked listening to the detailed accounts of my sex life so much." He muttered through gritted teeth, a deadly threat lacing his voice.
"Shut up, Kiba. Tsk, so disturbingly troublesome." It was Shikamaru who replied this time, surprising even Sasuke as the usually indifferent teen made an effort to crinkle his face in disgust. The remembrance of a certain instance when he forgot to knock on Naruto's apartment door and walked in on one full blown SasuNaru yaoi scene- with the bondage chains and all- was certainly not a sight to forget.
He had to take a whole month of therapy sessions after that.
"It's just a drink! I'm sure you could handle at least a little bit of alcohol! Naruto could drink a whole stack of 'em!" the mutt boy dared.
Sasuke's smirk disappeared, trademark patience snapping within an instant at the mention of the one and only person that could rile up a particularly stiff and uptight Uchiha.
Tsk. The blonde idiot just had to be irresistible in every way possible.
"Fine!" he huffed; pale hands suddenly grabbing the transparent bottle form Kiba's hands. With a single gulp, the stoic raven impressively managed to take in all of the bitter taste and the lingering burn that stung his throat.
"Woah, woah! Hey, hold your horses Sasuke; I was just kidd-"
"Give me more! Where's the damn alcohol?!"
"Sasuke… I think you should tell Naruto first."
"Neji, I said: Where's. The. Damn. ALCOHOL?!"
"H-here…"
Again, he harshly pulled the bottle away from the Hyuuga's grasp and immediately drank all of its contents.
"Even if the blonde's not here, he just had to bite the bait of 'were-lovers-but-still-rivals' thing huh?" Neji shook his head disapprovingly.
"Troublesome." Shikamaru muttered before leaning back in his seat inside the van to sleep.
***
Sasuke snorted at the memory; of course he would. When it was him and Naruto involved, why hold back? It was their motto on sex; well, Sasuke's for the most part; and it always proved to be handy and hot, so why not apply it in their amusing everyday banters?
But… just where was his adorable baka anyway? And why hasn't he resolved to kill him yet?
Hn, something was up, he was perfectly sure. Maybe there was a catch? No more bondage chains, perhaps? Or possibly Naruto topping him for five weeks straight? Ah, no. He'd done those already. The blue-eyed kitsune must have something very sadistic planned, considering the fact that his steady beating heart wasn't kicked out of his ribcage the moment he woke up.
Drinking and Sasuke were two things that Naruto never liked together, and he made sure the Uchiha remembered that when his lover found out that he couldn't handle alcohol and started spouting off random stuff within minutes to his shocked brother, Kyuubi; about their newly found sex routine after taking just one glass.
Maybe… maybe… His eyes widened at the thought-
"Oh, kami, he wouldn't!"
Sasuke frantically ran out of the room and zoomed down to the kitchen just in time to see Naruto's roommate, Choji, standing over a nicely prepared breakfast with a sorrowful expression pasted on his face.
"Oh, Sasuke, you're awake." Choji waved half-heartedly, noticing the pale teen at the bottom of the stairs. "Naruto told me not to eat this… He said it's for you." A fat finger then pointed sadly to the said meal. "Oh, and he also instructed me to give you this note." He subsequently conjured up a little brown stick-it paper from his pocket, dangling the small letter in his fingers.
Sasuke was immediately in front of him within a heartbeat, grabbing the piece of paper Choji held in his hands and ignoring the prepared meal altogether.
"Uh, aren't you going to eat this?"
"No," he mumbled; too busy opening the message to even spare a glance at the obviously hungry boy.
"Can I have it?"
"Uh- Okay."
"Awesome!"
And when the onyx-eyed Uchiha finally accomplished the task of flipping the paper open with his trembling hands, all the while whispering under his breath, "Please don't cut off the sex, please don't cut off the sex…" he read through the whole letter.
Dear Sasuke,
How are you feeling? I supposed you might be having a headache right now, huh? You can get some medicine from my drawer next to the bed, love. I also prepared breakfast for you incase you're hungry or something. Oh, and I had to wash your clothes, if you're wondering where they are. I hanged them outside to dry. Maybe I'll come home around ten so don't bother picking me up from the shop since you still have a migraine and all.
Take Care,
Naruto
There was a clattering sound as Sasuke's fist slammed hard on the table, the letter being squashed beneath his balled up hand.
"What the fuck?!"
He sharply turned to Choji, said boy now being too preoccupied with the noodles to notice his frustrated outburst.
"Choji, why is Naruto not trying to kill me? And why is he being so nice? What the fuck happened last night?!"
Not a sound was heard within the apartment aside from Sasuke's harsh intakes of breath while Choji scrunched up his face, trying to recall the previous events from last night.
Black eyebrows furrowed further when the large boy suddenly guffawed, rice and vegetables spewing out everywhere.
"Oh, that!" Choji couldn't breathe, let alone speak properly. From the food stuck in his mouth or the memory of what happened last night, Sasuke wasn't sure which.
The Uchiha waited until his irritating laughing fit was over and motioned for the other to explain.
"Well, last night you see, you came here dead drunk and banged loudly on our door in the middle of the night," he gesticulated toward the poorly fixed wood as proof, fist marks denting the once smooth surface.
"Then, Naruto came down and screamed at you for almost three straight hours while you smiled goofily back at him." He then imitated the said goofy smile, adapting a dazed expression and reducing his eyes to slits while his mouth was stretched to the limit, whereas Sasuke impatiently urged him to carry on with the more important matters of the story.
"So," Choji continued, "noticing that you were too out of it to understand a single word he was saying, he carried you to his bathroom, but;" he paused for dramatic effect, unintentionally making the Uchiha bite his nails in suspense,
"You puked all over the house! Dude, I swear, the whole apartment smelled like shit! Urgh; on the couch, on the floor, on the TV, on his bed- and damn, even on him too! He had to stay up all night and clean your disgusting mess," Choji shook his head pityingly,
"Took him till morning; and he was so pissed that he was ready to chop your head off."
"Then why, Choji?! Why didn't he?!" He shouted, gripping his hair tightly in a frenzy; half crazed, half scared.
That was when an ear-splitting grin came over the other's face. And if possible, Sasuke tensed up even more.
"Well, you know how sentimental Naruto is. Beneath all those layers of though and manly act, he has a soft spot for endearment- I'm sure, of all people, you know that best."
"And, fuck, what does that have to do with anything?" replied the increasingly guilty and agitated Uchiha.
"Last night, when he managed to drag you into his room, he tried to take off your vomit soaked clothes. And when he finished removing your shirt, he was about to take off your pants too. Guess what happened next?"
"SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!"
"Okay, okay, fine… Sheesh, calm down. When he tried to take off your pants, you- all dead drunk, smashed, half-asleep, barely comprehending everything and intoxicated with alcohol, eyes closed and all- shouted out for the whole neighborhood to hear- 'Goooaway! Dooon't touch me! Only my Naru-chaaaan may touch Uchi-*hic*-ha Sasukeee!!!', then… you promptly passed out on the bed."
As Choji turned back to face his food, Sasuke was in a bemused state.
Finally calming down yet not fully comprehending what he had been told, he picked up the note Naruto left as he glanced at a message on the back of the paper he failed to noticed before,
Ne, teme; do you know it's the little things from your bastardy self that count the most to me? ~^_^~
And for once, ever since he had woken up, Sasuke understood and smiled.
Owari
Kyaha~ Okay, Jakey's mind is seriously wandering off here…
Ne~ Do you like it? Do you really? Aw, then give me a comment, would ja?
Gomen, another attempt at fluff. Think the grammar's crappy. Couldn't do much, my gramps is sleeping behind me. Did you really like the first fluff? I can't believe it… Are you sure the ones who commented aren't one of you damn stalkers in school?! If it is then… then…
Okay, I don't know. But thanks for the praise anyway. And if it really is one of you; please don't take this to heart- but just buzz off and get the hint, eh? It's for your own good; I'm not the one who will end up pregnant here.
Comment again, okay? Negative, positive, multiplication, division- Tsk, I so hate tutoring little elementary kids- just click that button and review, onegai~
Aaaaand~ Love ya Aiki-kun. Hope you learn how to have yaoi sex soon. Kehehe~
