I do not claim the rights to TMoHS or AvenueQ's "If you were gay"

If i did own TMoHS there would be more smut and less dialogue

XD

Okay enjoy my first fic


Kyon
Aah, an afternoon alone with
My favorite book, "Broadway
Musicals of the 1940s."
No roommate to bother me.
How could it get any better than this?

Itsuki
Oh,hi Kyon!

Kyon
Hi Koizumi.

Itsuki
Hey Kyon, you'll never
Guess what happened to
Me on the subway this morning.
This guy was smiling at me and talking to me

Kyon
That's very interesting.

Itsuki
He was being real friendly,
And I think he was coming on to me.
I think he might've thought I was gay!

Kyon
Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this?
Why should I care?
I don't care.
What did you have for lunch today?

Itsuki
Oh, you don't have to get
All defensive about it, Kyon...

Kyon
I'm NOT getting defensive!
What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay?
I'm trying to read.

Itsuki
Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Kyon.
I just think it's something we should be able to talk about.

Kyon
I don't want to talk about it,
Koizumi! This conversation is over!!!

Itsuki
Yeah, but...

Kyon
OVER!!!

Itsuki
Well, okay, but just so you know
IF YOU WERE GAY
THAT'D BE OKAY.
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.
BECAUSE YOU SEE,
IF IT WERE ME,
I WOULD FEEL FREE
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)

Kyon
Koizumi, please!
I am trying to read....
What?!

Itsuki
IF YOU WERE QUEER

Kyon
Ah, Koizumi!

Itsuki
I'D STILL BE HERE,

Kyon
Koizumi, I'm trying to read this book.

Itsuki
YEAR AFTER YEAR

Kyon
Koizumi!

Itsuki
BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR
TO ME,

Kyon
Argh!

Itsuki
AND I KNOW THAT YOU

Kyon
What?

Itsuki
WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,

Kyon
I would?

Itsuki
IF I TOLD YOU TODAY,
"HEY! GUESS WHAT,
I'M GAY!"
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)
I'M HAPPY
JUST BEING WITH YOU.

Kyon
High Button Shoes, Pal Joey...

Itsuki
SO WHAT SHOULD IT
MATTER TO ME
WHAT YOU DO IN BED
WITH GUYS?

Kyon
Koizumi, that's GROSS!

Itsuki
No it's not!
IF YOU WERE GAY
I'D SHOUT HOORAY!

Kyon
I am not listening!

Itsuki
AND HERE I'D STAY,

Kyon
La la la la la!

Itsuki
BUT I WOULDN'T GET
IN YOUR WAY.

Kyon
Aaaah!

Itsuki
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME
TO ALWAYS BE
BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY,
TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY,
YOU WERE JUST BORN
THAT WAY,
AND, AS THEY SAY,
IT'S IN YOUR DNA,
YOU'RE GAY!

Kyon
BUT I'M NOT GAY!

Itsuki
If you were gay.

Kyon
Argh!

Fine who do you think was coming onto you then?

Itsuki

One of your friends, Nagato I think his name is.....

Kyon

Nagato huh?........You do know that shes a girl right?

Itsuki

WHATTTTTTTT?????????


Well there ya go - if you have any requests for any TMoHS pairings and the rating i will make a fanfic about it