(A/N): I already uploaded this on tumblr and ao3, but I wanted to upload it on here also.

This story was for the SNS Secret Santa and was to snk-ame-chan (tumblr)


The Uzumaki family hosted Konoha's Christmas gala this year. Their cozy home was crowded with guests, barely accommodating the entire town. It seemed like Christmas had thrown up on their house with every room decorated in gaudy bright lights and tinsel, which had to have some sort of angel or Santa figure. For the past few hours, Sasuke watched Naruto float from guest to guest.

Sasuke noticed when Naruto finally decided to saunter up to him. He was wearing a crisp black suit without a hint of orange on him. Some things do change after all. "Dance with me," Naruto commanded, with his hand outstretched. He stared at him, his blue eyes unwavering. And who was Sasuke to say no?

Naruto's hands entwined with his felt so warm, fitting perfectly in place. He placed a hand on Sasuke's shoulder, which tensed at first, but Naruto's soft chuckle made Sasuke crack a smile. And then they both began laughing.

They danced to the soft sounds of the piano. Someone in the crowd began clapping, maybe it was Minato or one of their friends, but pretty soon everyone in the room does. The dance was complicated since there were so many movements that needed to happen at once, and simple because of how in synch they were. Up and down, left and right, side step, and back step. Sasuke twirled Naruto. Naruto twirled Sasuke. They clung on to each other. Naruto felt so warm in his arms.

It was just them. Sasuke and Naruto. Naruto and Sasuke.

The last note in the song played and they both stopped. They were both out of breath. Naruto's hot breath tickled the hair on Sasuke's neck. Sasuke clung on to him, resting his head in the crook of Naruto's neck. Sasuke placed a hand over his chest trying to calm his heartbeat. It kept pounding and felt loud. He wondered if Naruto could hear it also.

Sasuke wished he could stay in Naruto's arms, but these moments do not last forever so he put some considerable distance between them. He locked eyes with Naruto who stared at him in wonder. "You've improved your dancing," Sasuke commented. "Last time you kept stepping on my feet."

"A compliment from you?" Naruto grinned. He rubbed the back of his head. "It must be my lucky day." They gazed at each other for a few seconds, and Sasuke wondered if Naruto was going to go back to entertaining everyone. Not waiting for his decision, Sasuke shuffled back to his seat and began drinking the eggnog that he had earlier. "Where are you going?" Naruto asked, racing after him. "Let's go somewhere else." And for the second time that day, Sasuke followed Naruto's lead. He led the way up the stairs to his room. Garland wrapped around the staircase with bright red ribbons and Christmas wreaths covered their picture frames. "So what have you been up to this entire time?" Naruto asked.

As they enter, Sasuke's eyes swept around the room. It smelled faintly of ramen and the walls had the same orange tint. Naruto took a seat by his desk, which had several papers spread all over. "Finishing my masters," Sasuke answered, as he sat down by the edge of Naruto's bed. He tapped the edge of his styrofoam cup and added after a thought, "I'm working with Itachi at Akatsuki and I do some freelance work. I help with my Dad with the family business sometimes."

"Big surprise. Mister valedictorian is still overachieving," Naruto remarked, as he began to toss an old baseball up and down. Sasuke shrugged as he was glancing at the picture frames. Most of them were the same, but there were some new ones. One was of them on their school's varsity baseball team. "Me? Well, I took a year off after college, and now my Dad is showing me the ropes of his job. I guess I'll go back to do my masters after that."

Sasuke nodded. He remembered hearing all this information from friends and from scrolling through various Facebook statuses. Sasuke glanced at the trophies on his wardrobe recalling each win and loss and then stopped. "You kept it," Sasuke said. It was the charm necklace Sasuke gave him. They made each other ones in kindergarten as part of an assignment. The fox and frog charms were faded and its silver chain was broken.

"Of course," Naruto replied. "You're my best friend."

Sasuke snorted. Naruto called everyone that.

"Hey what's so funny?" Naruto asked, slowing down the pace of his tosses.

"Nothing," Sasuke replied, shaking his head. He then noticed Naruto staring at him in disbelief. "I'm serious, nothing," he continued, but Naruto dropped the baseball on the floor and inched closer until he was seated next to him. Sasuke observed his movements suspiciously. Naruto proceeded to tickle him from underneath his armpits and at his sides. "No, stop." Sasuke laughter filled the room and the eggnog he was holding was shaking. "Wait. It's going to spill."

Naruto halted. Sasuke placed the cup on the wardrobe and began smoothening the creases left on his suit.

"But you really are you know," Naruto grinned. "I've always wanted to be your friend. When I first heard you sing during the winter musical. Everyone else stopped singing, but you kept going anyway. It was really brave and your voice was—" He stopped, as if recalling that time, and then finished. "It blew me away."

During that winter musical, all the kids had to perform songs. The other kids didn't continue the song and Sasuke was the only one that finished it. But brave? That was a funny compliment. He wasn't brave at all. Sasuke shook his head again. "Idiot."

Naruto smiled at the familiar insult. "Don't ever change, Sasuke," he said, but then fell silent. His expression was stern. Not feeling the need to add anything, Sasuke took a sip from his drink and waited for him to continue. Sasuke could still hear everyone else celebrating. "Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did."

"Right," Naruto murmured. "Why'd you leave so soon after graduation?" Naruto asked, observing him. Shifting from side to side, Sasuke tightened his grip on his drink. "I looked everywhere for you. Then Itachi said you left after I asked Hinata to—" Naruto stopped speaking, as he noticed Sasuke's eyes dart toward the door. Then Naruto barely above a whisper asked, "Do you hate me? Is that why you stopped replying? Did I do something wrong?"

Naruto's gaze held his eyes waiting for a response. Sasuke wanted to laugh at the irony of it all. He paused a few moments. All the eggnog he'd been drinking was gone and now there were indents from his nails on the cup. Sasuke muttered, "I don't hate you." He could never hate him.

"Then what's wrong?" Naruto asked.

What wasn't wrong? Naruto's wedding was tomorrow. Naruto was getting married and not to him. At one point they could understand each other without words. Naruto would smile and Sasuke could tell which was sincere and which was a plea for help. He twiddled with the hem of his sleeve and then noticed Naruto was still waiting for a response.

At first, Sasuke was content with just being by Naruto's side in any way possible. Wouldn't that be true love? No. He wouldn't tell him. Itachi insisted that he come for closure, but Sasuke couldn't. It wouldn't be fair after all this time, especially not the day before his wedding. And what good would it do? Even if Naruto didn't marry her that wouldn't mean they would be together. It was selfish.

"Sasuke," Naruto said, leaning in and touching Sasuke's shoulders. Sasuke shoves the hands away and crosses his arms. Hurt and pain flashed through Naruto and Sasuke immediately regretted his decision. He looked small despite being the same height. Sasuke's chest and lungs felt tight and his breath felt shallower. "I don't understand. What's wrong?"

He hadn't cried. Not the entire time after finding out Naruto proposed and not after receiving the letter with a set date and venue. Crying was useless and yet Sasuke couldn't stop.

"Oh," Naruto said, eyes wide and then after a beat, repeated in realization. "Oh." Sasuke felt Naruto wrap his arms around him, rubbing soothing circles on his back. "How long?"

"I'm just," Sasuke began as he started wiping his face, trying to think of something to say, "really happy for you. I didn't think you would be getting married. That's all."

"That's all," Naruto slowly repeated as he peered at him. "Please don't lie to me. I'm not dumb. I can count the times on my hands of how often I've seen you cry."

"I don't know," Sasuke said, since truly it had been a long time and he couldn't say when he realized it or if it began earlier. "Since high school." Sasuke shrugged as he glanced at the clock. "I should go," he said, reaching in his pockets for his keys. "You have a big day tomorrow and I have to drive back home."

"You're leaving already?" Naruto asked, frowning. His hands were shaking. "I haven't seen you in such a long time and you're going to leave again? You can't just, after I find out—Can't we still be friends?"

Sasuke shook his head. At least not in the way they were before.

"Can we dance again?"

Sasuke almost said no, but he couldn't. He couldn't because he was weak and he wanted to be with him. And not when Naruto seemed so lost. So, Sasuke nodded his head slowly and they dance. His room doesn't allow for a lot of movement and there isn't any music to dance to. This time they don't display much technique and dance with less exuberance. This time Naruto rests his head on Sasuke's. Naruto clutched Sasuke during this embrace. His fingers stroked through Sasuke's hair.

They had many firsts, but his first dance would not be theirs. That privilege would go to Naruto's fiancé. If they could understand each other without words, then maybe this would be enough. "When you're old and retired," Sasuke whispered. "And with your wife and children and grandchildren. Don't forget me."

Naruto chuckled halfheartedly in a somber way that made Sasuke wish he didn't ask. "I could never forget you."

"Can I have a request?"

Sasuke nodded.

"Don't forget me either."

Sasuke left, taking those memories and happy moments with him. Naruto stared at his retreating silhouette. At one point they'd been closer than anyone. The air in the room was cold enough for Naruto's breath to be visible.


Snow fell on the way back home. The drive back home was long, and not only because of holiday traffic. Sasuke changed the radio station, but mixes of Christmas songs were on repeat again. The announcer mentioned something about some idiot who crashed and then left his car in the middle of the freeway.

As he pulled into his neighborhood, the bright Christmas lights mocked him. Sasuke had to constantly resist the urge to crash his car into the nearest tree. Sasuke walked into his apartment. He dropped his keys on the counter and turned on the lights.

He slumped down on his loveseat, not caring that he should change out of his suit. Sasuke wanted to call Itachi and tell him that visiting was a mistake how it just made him feel worse, but Itachi would probably be sleeping. A soft purring came from his cat, Apollo, as it started to knead against his hand. There was something in his mouth.

"Apollo." Sasuke sighed, as he went to the kitchen to fetch the spray bottle. It was better not to get into a fight with Apollo. He needed to feed him too. As he refilled the bowl, there was a ring at his door. He was going to ignore it. Who visits at 3 am? But then it rang again. Sasuke stormed toward the door and slammed it open.

"Naruto?" He blinked twice and then rubbed his eyes to make sure he was seeing the idiot outside of his house still in his tux, which by the way was even more of a mess than his. "What are you doing here?"

"I was pissed off at you after graduation you know," Naruto stated. "I thought wouldn't Sasuke be proud of me? I graduated and I'm engaged. Of course my Mom and Dad were and so was everyone else."

"Is that all?" Sasuke interrupted, glaring at the pavement. He'd rather not have Naruto come all the way from Konoha to tell him this.

"Let me finish," Naruto continued. "And then I wondered why I was doing this. Everyone always told me how they could see me marrying Hinata, how she was the perfect girl, and I guess we were happy." Sasuke grip tightened on his crossed arms. "It was the next step. She loved me for so long, and it would only be fair after all this time."

"Don't feel obligated to tell me this because you feel guilty."

"No. I said let me finish," Naruto said, louder with more conviction. "Wouldn't that be a good time to ask my best friend? But I was mad at you because you were mad at me, or at least I thought you were anyway." Naruto fell silent and was pensive. Sasuke leaned against the door as he waited for him to respond. The reminder that Naruto knew and the topic would be brought up again set him on edge.

"I missed you while you were gone," Naruto said finally, giving a small smile. "I don't think I can stand to see you leave again."

Sasuke stood still as his words were sinking in. There were a bunch of questions racing through his head. Some ideas that he didn't want to entertain since that would be too good to be true. "What does this mean?"

"Well, I was already considering calling off the marriage," Naruto replied, running his hands through his hair. "Neji and Hiashi are going to kill me. At least it wasn't at the altar. Hopefully we can get a refund."

Naruto stopped rambling and then their eyes met.

"Aren't you going to invite me in? So rude I swear. I've been freezing my ass off waiting, my car is totaled, and I'm pretty sure my Mom's going to give me a scolding soon."

Sasuke guided him into the living room. Naruto inspected it and as he sat down on the loveseat Apollo leaped onto his lap. "I haven't seen you in forever buddy."

Sasuke groaned noticing what Apollo had been playing with earlier was left on the carpet. He reached for his charm necklace that was now wet.

"You actually kept it."

"Of course, dumbass," Sasuke replied, examining the music note and bird charms. It needed to be washed. "It was a gift from someone special." Despite Sasuke's concerns of what their relationship was and possibly could be, that answer rang the clearest to him.

Naruto grinned, pulling Sasuke down now next to him.

They spent the rest of the night catching up and talking.